Is saying "i'm sorry" enough for you?

Say i'm sorry - To say how sorry you are when you hurt someone
@mycharm88 (2292)
Philippines
February 18, 2008 8:52pm CST
Hey guys c",) I know we've all been hurt. Might be physical or emotional. If someone hurts you and say i'm sorry and hurt you again and again and says sorry everytime. Would that be enough? Some would say it's better to be hurt physically than being hurt emotionally. If we love the person i guess it's easy to forgive and accept his sorry but when should we say enough? We should at least see changes, right?
9 people like this
46 responses
• United States
19 Feb 08
sorry is meant to be used when your sorry. I have no problem with excepting the sorry the first time. The problem is when the behavior continues. I don't have that problem I don't allow myself to continue to have to be told sorry. I teach my daughter that sorry means it will never happen again. Not to bandage up feelings for that moment.
3 people like this
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
21 Feb 08
Exactly dear!c",) but i know someone who continues to hurt a friend of mine and then says sorry but does the same mistakes again... i think his sorry means nothing right? tc dear c",)
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
19 Feb 08
Hi Dear if some one do some thing wrong and say u sorry ( it should not be words only but by heart and his/her action certify that" but if he again do same thing to hurt u and then say sorry, then its enough and u should be avoiding him/her after 2-3 chances Take care
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
28 Feb 08
Yup, you're right that's what i should do. I realize now that it's not a lose to loose womeone like that. Once we say sorry it should be sincere and it shows in the persons actions. And it's hard to forgive the 2nd and 3rd time they hurt us.right dear? you take care too..mooch
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
28 Feb 08
Hi nice to get ur response so u got the idea thats great wish u best of luck and i wonder if that mooch was kiss, if yes then BLUSED
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
19 Feb 08
Why do people think it's okay for them to do horrible things to other people as long as they apologize afterwards? to me the sorry doesnt seem to be sincere if someone keeps hurting you and say sorry and keep repeating the same mistake everytime. if they're really sorry then they would know not to repeat the mistake. probably a few times is acceptable but if keeps occurring then something is wrong somewhere. you should talk about it and sort things i guess.
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
28 Feb 08
Yeah it is never ok to do that but i admit i do feel that sometimes. There are people who seems to be friends but turns out to be the enemy... You have learned to love them but hate them in the end. did something like this happen to you? Thanks for responding dear...
• Malaysia
2 Mar 08
yep..been thru this kind of situation before..can be heartbreaking at times but hey, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger ;)
1 person likes this
@asgtswife04 (2482)
• United States
19 Feb 08
You know there is a saying that says, fool me once and shame on you...fool me twice and shame on me. I think that if a person is truly sorry then they won't continue to do the same things that they know hurt you. I can give second chances, but after the second time it's over whether it's a spouse or family or friends. If they are gonna continue to do the same things and just expect the words sorry to solve everything it's not worth it cause sorry can only last for so long. after the second or third time, sorry doesn't mean crap to me anymore, because i know they really don't mean it. thanks for sharing and God bless
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
21 Feb 08
Same here, i too could give second chances and it's up for that person to show themselves if they really are sorry. thanks for the nice response dear. tc
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Feb 08
and thank you. very good discussion. God bless
2 people like this
@gerald_lian (2193)
• Australia
19 Feb 08
I think it is more important to mean it than to just say it. You might not know when someone might be pushed or forced to say "sorry" to another person that the "sorry" becomes an obligation rather than a sincerity. In my opinion, it doesn't matter whether someone actually says sorry to me or not; as long as they show that they are sorry through their actions, I will be more than willing to forgive them. We need to remember people have their pride and ego, so sometimes saying sorry is quite a chore.
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
21 Feb 08
Hello my friend, i'm sorry for the delayed reply but i do agree with you. Sorry means nothing if it's not from the heart and of course must be shown in their actions too. thanks for responding and good day dear!c",)
1 person likes this
• Australia
23 Feb 08
It's a pleasure to give my honest opinion to your question! =)
1 person likes this
@raychill (6530)
• United States
19 Feb 08
Sorry is just a 5 letter word. What matters is an apology...and yes there is a HUGE difference between saying sorry and actually apologizing. Sorry means nothing unless there's an apology within it.
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
28 Feb 08
definitely true my friend...c",)i agree with that too.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
19 Feb 08
I believe that we should always forgive no matter what the circumstances or how many times it has happened. It is good to expect change from that person, but be aware that they may never do it. Now I am not perfect nor do I know everything. I am still growing and learning. But I have recently come to the conclusion that some people you need to forgive and love from a distance. If you allow them to remain close, they will continue to wreak havoc in your life.
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
28 Feb 08
Well, you do have a good heart dear c",) thank you for responding c",)
@kate0250 (315)
• Philippines
19 Feb 08
Hurting a girl emotionally/physically is not acceptable. What happened once will happen twice and so on.. Though we can't really stop our emotions especially gals. Base from my experience, i was hurt physically and there goes the first sorry, then it happened again and again, which is so ridicul*us! That's why I think if that person hurt you once, then he doesn't respect you and your feelings anymore, and it's not worth it. But ofcourse I've leraned to forgive many times but it's one of the reasons why me and my bf broke up. :(
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
28 Feb 08
Yeah, to some, sorry might be enough specially if they love the person very much. Just like my friend who keeps saying that her boyfriend loves her even if he keeps on hurting her physically. But I'm glad that it was over now and she had moved on and found a new love, someone who deserves her love and loved her so much in return. And my friend is free...Thanks for sharing that here dear kate c",)
@subha12 (18453)
• India
19 Feb 08
no not always. i have felt it when i am at the reciei-ving end. i have experienced it most in one case. i so called friend has cheated on me. he took my advantage. when he got caught he just told me sorry. i do not think just a sorry was enough.
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
28 Feb 08
definitely not always for me too. Maybe not at that very moment, it depends on how grave was the offense... sometimes forgiveness takes time and the wound needs to be healed. Thanks for responding dear c",)
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
19 Feb 08
saying im sorry and the hurt is still there, i dont think that i can be okay. yes it is enough but i will still have my own space to deal with the pain. but sorry means you will never do it again. my ex husband hurt me physically and emotionally and there is no better on those hurt. it both hurts bad. as long as the person asking for forgiveness will not do that again then i think we have the right to forgive. but if the hurting is again and again then i dont think he/she knows the important of the words im sorry
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
28 Feb 08
yes it's really hard to forgive specially when the same thing is done the 2nd or 3rd time. I guess sorry is not enough, it needs proof and right actions for me to be convinced that the person is really sorry... take care dear c",)
@Gesusdid (1681)
• United States
19 Feb 08
no not for me , you have to express more than the word to me i mean , hell give me my time back how about that? for me i dont even let her get one in i just turn the other way and keep walking , harsh but oh well thats me
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
21 Feb 08
Well i couldn't blame you if you're like that specially if the thing she did hurts you so bad.. thanks dear for responding.c",)
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16236)
• United States
19 Feb 08
Actions speak louder than words so even though someone says sorry to me, sometimes I am skeptical and only believe it if I can see that they truly are sorry (depends on who it is too!). I've had people say sorry and never really mean it because they go back to doing the same thing over and over again.
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
21 Feb 08
Yeah me too, being truly sorry could only be seen on their actions. I could give chances but doing the same thing over again after the second chance is unacceptable for me. c",) thanks for sharing that dear c",)
1 person likes this
• China
19 Feb 08
Hi my charm. I know a magic word that you're right, I'm sorry.LOL
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
21 Feb 08
ok thanks dear c",)
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
21 Feb 08
I think changes should at least be attempted by the person. When I'm hurt enough, I avoid the person. Then just drift away. Take care
@irene_27 (545)
• Philippines
21 Feb 08
for me the word "sorry" is to be said with feelings of sincerity and it defeats the purpose of saying so when the harm is being done again and again. I mean where's the sincerity when you continue repeating the same mistakes? It has to be said from the heart and not just out of the nose. there's a saying that action speaks louder than words so sometimes you need not have to say you're sorry you just have to show that you've changed.
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
21 Feb 08
if the person keeps on saying sorry but still is taking me for granted, taking my forgiveness for nothing, then sorry wouldn't be enough. because it would seem like that person isn't sincere in apologizing and just taking my kindness for granted. i would say that its the time that every sorry is enough and i might not forgive that person at all. but if that person bribes me with something like a bunch of anime stuffs or a dozen of chocolate cakes or a trip to Boracay or somewhere in Asia, i might give my forgiveness. LOL
2 people like this
@livewyre (2455)
21 Feb 08
Part of being sorry would include not repeating the mistake. Sometimes people say 'I'm sorry, but....' someone pointed out to me that as soon as you put the word 'but' after sorry, that really means you are saying 'I'm NOT sorry'. I try to live by that and never use the word 'but' after saying sorry. You asked about being hurt again, and I would say that if someone said 'sorry' and then hurt you again in the same way, then they were obviously not really sorry and they do not value you. This applies in a relationship, but not for 'unconditional' love which is reserved for our children... I don't care how many times my child hurts me, I will always love her as much as ever (not that she has ever hurt me). No other love is truly unconditional.
2 people like this
@kbourgerie (8774)
• United States
20 Feb 08
I might accept a verbal apology initially, but if thats all that I ever heard but saw no change in the behavior it wouldn't ever be enough again. When my daughter was 3 I apologized for something and she looked at me indignantly and said "Sorry doesn't count, Mom!" It became a household motto.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Feb 08
I would forgive an emotional hurt once from a lover. But if he did it again, I wouldn't forgive him.My love would begin to fade the minute he did it to me Again.For me it is harder to forgive a loved one than a stranger. A stranger doesn't know me. How would they know what would hurt me or not.A lover or family member should know me.Knowing me, I have told them by word or deed what is hurtful to me so I wouldn't forgive them as easily as a stranger. A heart felt I am sorry ,in person and without flowers, is good enough for me. And Never do it again and I will forgive you, without needing the proper revenge.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
19 Feb 08
I've had both done to me and I continually accepted their apology however, once I finally realized that he would apologize to me every time he'd hurt me regardless of how, he knew he'd get away with it when he apologized because he knew I'd accept. So that said, the first time the abuse happens, it really depends on what abuse was done and how bad it was done is whether or not you should accept his apology. The second time around is a no go, meaning, it's time to move on for there are other "fish" in the sea who will treat you much better and it's what you deserve.
2 people like this