Are you willing to change for the one you love?

February 21, 2008 8:01am CST
If you have an attitude that he/she does not want on you, are you willing to change everything about you, being a new person just for your partner to love you more? Or your stand is he/she should love you for who and what you are?
2 people like this
15 responses
@vipulchawla (2220)
• India
22 Feb 08
I feel that it all depends upon what teh situation demands.. Sometimes people change just because they want to impress the person whom they want to love.. About me. i feel that The girl who would love me ..should love me the way i am..By the way i am smart and cool enough to be loved(..just kidding..)!!. Love is a kind of relationship which should not be demanding..its a give and take relationship.. the more you love ..the more you will be loved.. The more it becomes demanding..it turns into an obligation then. Infact i feel that People fall in love with each other just because of the way each other are..Sometimes you may have to compromise.. After all changing yourself is not an easy task..And change is just temporary.. i have been witnessing a relation in which a friend of mine leaves smoking for the girl she loves.. But it was just a matter of time .. after a month or so.. he started smoking again.. So doesn't that mean he is cheating on her now.. And seriously telling ..i hate that..So i just wanna say.. if anybody there interested in me then dont expect me to change though i can try but won't guarantee so ..LOVE ME THE WAY I AM...
@nehaaaa (1748)
• India
23 May 08
i totally agree with you.....jaisa wo hai waisa hi ussy pyaar karo...ussey badalne ki kosis karoge to wo pyaar nahin nahin wo to ek sauda hai n pyaar mein sauda nahin hota hai..dont change totally your partner........change only for good cause..n love the person as he / she is.....n dont change your self aslo......coz i changed my self totally for sumone.n finally i didnt got dat person n he left me.....
1 person likes this
• India
26 May 08
Hey.. Forget the past yaar. may be he was not that good enough to deserve you. And you may be lucky to deserve a person much better than him. so dont lose your hope.
@nehaaaa (1748)
• India
26 May 08
Let see wat happens.........
1 person likes this
• China
22 Feb 08
Absolutely i will if she is right. Like stop somking . She does not want me to smoke anymore . I stopped.
23 Feb 08
Yeah, we know what's right from wrong in the first place. In the end, it's still up to us. Thanks for sharing!
@Uniz07 (12)
22 Feb 08
It depends. If I will be a better person, I am willing to change.
22 Feb 08
Same goes for me. Thanks!
• China
21 Feb 08
Hi,socialitehanna.That's a problem.But I think almost people's answer is YES,even their always saying we can't change angthing for her,because she/he love me and everything of mine.But i don't think so,nobody are perfect person.eventhough I love him/her,but nobody made us to love their defect.that's it.Nice day.
21 Feb 08
Hy! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I learned from it!
@diillu (5130)
21 Feb 08
I would say that I'm ready to change for the one I love to some extent. But it doens't mean that I want complete new me. I know I'm not perfect and there are some flaws within me. If my partner wants me to change some of my behaviours then I would love to change myself. Cause love is all about adjusting but if my partner would want me to change each and everything about me then it is sure that I wouldn't like that and definitely wouldn't do that.
21 Feb 08
Wow, you are right. Loving is also about adjusting. Thanks a lot!
@kg_gurl (220)
• United States
23 May 08
I stand that the person should love you for who you are. I mean that's you as a person, if he/she doesn't like that then he/she doesn't really like you either bu the image of someone else. I do believe however that compromises can be made. I mean, we are not perfect and there must be something we're doing or we've done that may not be completely liked by our love ones. What I am saying however is the little things that is there like maybe your snoring or smoking habits, your punctuality (if your always late), maybe the way you paint your nails or cut your hair. These are the things I could compromise on. But to COMPLETELY change for the one you love, I am not sure I can do that. But this is just me. ~
@izathewzia (5142)
• Philippines
23 Feb 08
Yah, if what I am going to change is the bad side of me which he don't like. But if he will ask me to change something which I consider good, I will not. But I will explain it to him why so he will not get hurt.
@manya_pearl (1871)
• Singapore
23 Feb 08
If my behavior and attitude is terrible bad, why not? But he should change his "bad" also... so our relationship will be balanced. uhuh??
@winterose (39931)
• Canada
22 Feb 08
absolutely not, if he wanted me to change everything about me then he doesn't want me, and he should go out and find who he does want and good luck to him because I certainly wouldn\t want him
• Pakistan
22 Feb 08
Life partnership is a name of mutual understanding. Mutual understanding is back bone of relationship and confidence on each other play a vital role to keep continue the relationship. Do at Rome as the Romans do. you should read and learn the habits of your spouse and you should try to follow them. you both are the wheels of a cart of life. so you both should understand each other and keep running the cart. you should convert every dis likeness in likeness of each other. then the love would become stable and ever lasting.
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
22 Feb 08
OH HELL NO!!! If a person who 'CLAIMS' to love me tries to change me..then they DON'T really love me at all....This is who I am, take it or leave it but never ever ever try to change it..If you feel the need to "alter" me..you have no business being in my life and thats the bottomline..
@vidyasma (91)
• India
22 Feb 08
yes if it is my husband. i can change all my habits and attitudes which he does not like just for him if he really loves me. ofcourse iam doing that now because my husband love me a lot.
@vidyasma (91)
• India
22 Feb 08
if at all the partner is ur husband i will definetely change the habits and attitude which he does not like if he really loves me, that is what iam doing now with my husband because he loves me a lot.
• China
22 Feb 08
Whether you say yes or no, you will find you have been changed or influented by each other to some extent gradually if you get along with each other for a long time, which is necessary for the lovers to keep good relationship.
@MsCYPRAH (398)
22 Feb 08
No, I would not. We all have core values which are non-negotiable. If we change those to suit a partner we will never be happy. We will always feel inadequate, as though we can never measure up to what they require. One can always compromise on small things which help the harmony but I would not change myself for a partner for 5 main reasons: 1. The most attractive person is one who is his/herself and proud of it. 2. People who wish you to change do not love you. They are more interested in controlling you by making you into some ideal which you can never fulfil. Anyone who truly loves you will accept you as you are, warts and all. 3. Often when we change, it is only temporary until we get what we want. Then we will continue to do it again, like stopping smoking, for example. 4. We are unique human beings for a reason. When we change to someone else we stop being ourselves and start feeling insecure. We will always be pretending. 5. Respect and acceptance have to be at the heart of a relationship otherwise it is doomed from the start. It's quite sad that people meet each other, date quite happily together then want to change one another when they settle down. It is like falling love with a bird that flies beautifully, then caging it just because you think it might fly away from you. No one should start a relationship trying to be what somebody else wants. It immediately puts one party as second-best. If there are ever any points of disagreement, talking about it and coming to a compromise that suits BOTH parties is the best action.