to work or not to work

February 21, 2008 8:39am CST
My 9 months maternity leave are now up and I have to make the difficult decision as to being a working mum or not . I have enjoyed every minute of my sons first 9 months and would find it incredibly difficult to return to work even on a part time basis . Should the tax credits be higher for monthers who wish to a full time mum
7 people like this
24 responses
• United States
21 Feb 08
I have the same dilema that you are going through right now. I have a 3 year old boy, who I've already had to leave for a year when I deployed to Afghanistan, and I have a lil girl due in the beginning of June. I wish I could be a stay at home mom but I can't put all that on my husband right now. I kinda like the extra income to because it allows me to do all those extra things with my kids.
2 people like this
@ellie333 (21029)
21 Feb 08
Oh that must have been so hard, a whole year, I admire you though.Years ago as a woman in the forces once you left to have child that was your career over, how times have changed eh! Congratulations of your new to be addition in June. Ellie :D
• United States
23 Feb 08
Thank you so much for sacrificing and serving our country. I admire all of our service men and women, I don't think I could leave my child and be that far away, kuddos.
@kykidd (6820)
• United States
21 Feb 08
I think it would be great if you could stay home with your son. It is sad in the world today that so many families require two incomes in order to survive.
1 person likes this
@sam305 (74)
21 Feb 08
I was still at college when my daughter was born, i would have to leave her for 2-3 hours a day, i found this really hard as even though it was three hours a day i always thought what if i miss something new, luckily my mum and my boyfriend looked after us finacially so i never lost out. But when we did finally suggest moving just the three of us we couldn't afford it. So i do think the tax credits are too low,i don't really know about going back to work as im now in university part time. So i do have to leave her but she's now in nursery and that is the best thing for her as her inteligence is growing everyday. I do believe you need a break from them even if it's for a few hours a day it's not neccessary to be around them all the time as hard as it is to leave them. And going back to work might give you your independence bk cus i no when i had my daughter i felt that i was just a mum and not anything or had nothing else in my life.
21 Feb 08
Maybe when he is older I can see the benefit of him attending a nursery but we have a great time attending a baby and toddler group each week where he is interacting with others . Being out of a work environment has been liberating it's purely a financial decision
@Sillychick (3279)
• United States
21 Feb 08
Tax credits or not, if it is possible for your family to live on one income, stay home. These early years will be gone in the blink of an eye, and they are so important. I will not go back to work unless and until it means the difference between my family making it or not. We have had to make some sacrifices for me to stay home, but it is worth it to me. I can't think of anything, besides food and shelter, that would be more important. In a few years he will be off to school and I will work then.
21 Feb 08
I am of the same opinion as you I beleive the reason for my son being one of the easiest happiest babies I have come accross is a total sense of security that mum is always around .I hope to stay home if we can make the sums work
@loneleaf (165)
• China
6 Mar 08
oh, love can soften your heart and make you lose your work passion,so many company prejudice the pregant woman and don't want to employ them. Come back please, your team need you too and you are indispensable to them, please make sure you won't abandon your friends that who going throngh diffculities with.
@cripfemme (7718)
• United States
24 Feb 08
I don't have kids as yet, but I'm kind of happy that all my paid work can be done from home on my own schedule mostly, as I'm a writer and baring the ocassional deadline, when I just plain need to work until I'm done (good time for a bavysitter), I'll be able to stay home with them a lot and have lots of time for playing with them. I'm also sure that they'll help my writing as I'll get lots of inspiration from them. I'm excited for motherhood (in a few years, when I'm more stable economically) and lucky I'm a writer so I can spend more time with my kids than most moms with jobs get to.
@thea04 (13)
• Philippines
24 Feb 08
i'm a mom too... i want to work but my daughter is too young... i want to earn money for her to support her needs.
@LUCKYASH (39)
• United States
24 Feb 08
only you know the answer that if i were you i would sit down and think about is ur child ready for you to leave does he/she have certain problems which would make you worry while you were at work leaveing he/she w/ someone else the first three years are the most important and that is when they are really devopeing who they are trut me my son is two and he blossomed into a person and i have watched it its been a beautiful wonderful process to watch this little person become someone and i can easily point out serveral things that he has got picked up from me and other people its really very exciteing
• Canada
24 Feb 08
I have two children under 5 and stay at home. While I LOVE being at home and truly believe that that is better for children, I do need my time out with my girlfriend! I have one friend in particular that we get together without kids once a week for a couple of hours, and it's so important. So don't forget to get some time out for you before you start feeling sapped of your inner self! If you don't have a good friend you can go out with once a week, think about getting a very small part-time job - even one shift a week and then, maybe you and your partner could negotiate it as your earnings equal your splurge money for yourself. Hmmm.... that actually sounds good! I just thought that up but I may do it myself. Anyways, have fun with your little one!
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
23 Feb 08
FOr me take you time ans spend more time with your baby. He/she needs you.. because that is the time you have to make bonding time for your kid..
• United States
23 Feb 08
I had two natural births, but between step children and our adopted children we have 10. When all my children were younger I had no choice but to work, my husband had been injured from a work related fall before I ever met him, and after we met, he had to have another surgery, after that his back went from bad to worse, and as with anyone his age it took disability 3 years to start paying him, so I was our only support. I can remember being so jealous of my sister and other moms who got to stay home. When my son needed a teddy bear sewn he would call Aunt Gina. I wish with all my heart I could have been the one he came to, but I had no options. I am a SAHM now with our 5 adopted children, and I love being able to be here for them, but oddly at the same time I miss working and having that independence sometimes I would do anything for a minute alone, or some adult conversation. As for the tax credit, that would be nice, but you have to look at this another way too. Yes you will be getting tax credits but someone is working and paying those taxes. I'm sorry but no matter how they phrase it, the money still comes out of the tax payers pockets. As one lady said sometimes it cost more to work, than it does to stay home, depending on what daycare in your area cost. There are a lot of pros and cons, just make sure you know what all the pluses and minuses are, and also make sure your spouse or significant other is on the same page as you are, or it will defineately cause issues with your relationship.
• Australia
22 Feb 08
Hi Bramble I agree that the very best start for any child is the constant presence of a loving mother. I know that we are often torn between staying at home with our children and going out to work so we can provide a better life for them in the future. I worked full time while my children were growing up, out of necesity. I was a single mother of 4 and determined that my children were not going to be disadvantaged by the tag 'welfare kids'. I would have dearly loved to have had the viable choice of being able to be a stay-at-home mum. I am now 54yo and have grandchildren, and I was equally determined that I was not going to miss out on being a full time granparent, so I had to find a way to be able to stay at home and still earn the money I needed to be able to maintain the lifestyle I had worked so hard, and made so many sacrifices, to attain. I found the solution in a really great home business that has allowed me the free time to spend with my grandchildren and still have a good income. Perhaps that is an option for you? Best wishes, Michelle
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
22 Feb 08
tax credits are different every where, but remember the government is not responsible for anyone deciding to have children, that is a couples choice, if the credits are decent in your area or not I do not know. but even with tax credits will not support the full cost of raising a child so if you need the money you may have to work to get all the things you want
• United States
22 Feb 08
Is it possible for you to go part time or something easier like that. I can't imagine trying to work after having 9 months of being a mother. I would imagine it would be your first time really away from your baby too. How sad.
@kimbers867 (2540)
• United States
22 Feb 08
Does your country pay you to stay home? I know some European countries do this and I think it is such a wonderful idea. I know the United States will never do this, even though it is the best thing for our children. I work in early education and you can tell which child had the benefits of being home with either mom or day versus the ones who were in daycare. I know there are great daycare moms and school's out there, it's just finding them and being able to afford them. I was blessed and didn't have to work while my girls were small, I found other part time opportunities to help make ends meet.
• India
22 Feb 08
According to me you must enjoy the precious moments of being a mother and grow up ur child well. And whtz work , dat u can do anytime. But this is the time whn ur child needs more atention,care n love from you.. So, it gonna b a good decision to quit work for ths moment.. takecare.
@vicky30 (4777)
• India
22 Feb 08
I think you could work with home based jobs because it allows you to spend time with your family and also gain the extra income you need.But my best suggestion would be to spend most of the time with your son.
@rinaaus (1203)
• Australia
22 Feb 08
if you go to work who will take care of your kid? If you have to send your kid to child care, do you have to pay? if you pay how much? is that cost is same to your salary if you go to work. If yes. Stay at home and take care your kid.
@WLDRMN4 (27)
• United States
22 Feb 08
I am in the same position. I had a job for 6 yrs and just quit about 3 months ago for personal reasons. I have a 7yr old who is in 2nd grade and a 2yr old. I have been at home with him and it has been great! My husband is a tree trimmer for Ameren and makes decent money but it has been alittle tough at times. When it rains he doesn't get paid for it. As far as the tax thing...i just went and did my taxes with my accountant and of course we were exempt from the EITC(earned income tax credit) since we made too much last year. He actually told me that i maybe should stay home all this year and then we would get the credit!! So it could be a good thing or bad depending on your financial situation.
• United States
21 Feb 08
I am right there with you only my daughter is 4. I want to stay home so badly and I know that I can survive if I did. It's just not knowing when your paycheck is coming. I am a single mom so it's just me. I don't want stuff to go wrong if I stayed home. It is a difficult decision to make. I am leaning towards staying home though.