My Daughter is going on her first date tomorrow night!!

Amanda and I in our library at church - Amanda is the one on the right. She has let her hair go back to its natural dark color now, she isn't blonde LOL.
@SheliaLee (2738)
United States
February 21, 2008 9:40am CST
I know that probably sounds strange since she is 21 years old but it really is her first date. She had a boyfriend in high school in the 9th grade but they didn't go out because he couldn't drive. He went bowling with us all a few times but that was all they did together. He came to church with her a few times but rarely. This man is someone who goes to church my mother's friend that she has been seeing for about 10 years now. My mother's friend is the one who told him about Amanda and he wanted to meet her. He called Mr. Vandiver (my mother's friend) last night and Mr. Vandiver gave him Amanda's cell phone number. He called and talked to her and they have their first date tomorrow night. This man is 37 years old but he has never been married. He has never dated much either. He is particular about who he does date which I think is a very good thing this day in time. The man is a Christian man, he is the director of music at his church, the Sunday School superintendent and the church clerk. He also has a job at a library there in the town. Mr. Vandiver recommended the man and he cares for Amanda and my son as though they were his own grandchildren and I know he wouldn't recommend Amanda meeting someone if he didn't know them and know they are a respectable person. Amanda has had a lot to deal with over the past few months as a lot of you know who have responded to my discussions of the incident that happened to her over the summer. I normally would be really antsy about who she would be dating but I feel at peace about this situation. I don't deny that my mother's protective state is still on full alert because she will always be my baby no matter how old she is, but the fact that this man wants to meet me and my husband also and is willing to drive two hours to meet Amanda makes it seem a lot less nerve wracking for me as her mother. I appreciate you listening to me and letting me ramble. I'm nervous I'll admit but I am happy for Amanda too. I want her to have someone she can have for, if nothing else, a good friend just to go out to eat with. Thanks so much!SheliaLee
6 people like this
12 responses
@kellys3ps (3726)
• United States
21 Feb 08
That is so exciting! I think it is great that she waited to date. I think too many kids are pushed into the world of dating way before they are actually ready for it. It sounds like the man she will be dating is a nice man. Best of luck to her (and to her nervous mama!)
2 people like this
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
21 Feb 08
I agree with you, I think a lot of kids start dating way too young too. And a lot of times they have problems as a result of it. I have told her that when God is ready for her to date he would send someone her way. I don't know what will come from this but I think it is a God Thing myself. Thanks for your response. :) SheliaLee
• United States
21 Feb 08
He sounds like an amazing man. My grandmother when she found out I was seeing a man 6 years older than me who had a great job and didn't live at home with his parents and has never been married and doesn't have any kids told me that she was finally happy to see I was done playing with little boys and that I had finally found myself a real man. It doesn't matter how old we get or what we go through in life we are always going to be somebodies baby and they will always have our best interests at heart. Please post later and tell us how her date went. I'm sure it will be spectacular!
1 person likes this
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
21 Feb 08
How right you are!! I have told her she will always be my baby no matter how old she is. Thanks so much for listening to me and giving me your response. :)
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
21 Feb 08
Oh yes, I meant to say too that I will definitely let everyone know how it goes LOL. Thanks again!!
@madlees (1381)
• India
21 Feb 08
Hi Shelia, I can understand being a mother of a grown up girl and one who has gone through all this. In India it is very different. Girls are not allowed to go on dates and the girls who go are said to be very forward ones. My daughter wanted to go, she asked me if she could. I asked my husband but then he is a little more conservative. He wouldn't agree. He was scared what will the neighbours and others will say if they see this? I was noot thinking of anything else but only about my daughter. If she had lied and gone without telling me what would have happened? I wouldn't have known . Isn't it? So I sent her with him that day. She was allright and came back from the date a happy girl. Mother and daughter relationship got a little more closer that day. Just be yourself, talk to her about the day, discuss with her and be a friend to her. She'll come back to you for more.
1 person likes this
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
21 Feb 08
You have given me wonderful advice dear friend and I appreciate it so much!! Amanda has always been good to talk to me about everything and she has been talking to me about this also. I have always had the door of communication open. Thank you again for your wonderful advice and response. :)
@madlees (1381)
• India
21 Feb 08
Welcome Shelia, But as such I haven't done anything special. When I read your post I just remembered how I felt when that happened to me... I wanted to write what all I felt.. Thank you very much for giving me a chance..
@anshnav (479)
• India
22 Feb 08
I wish you luck.. let her be herself and not fake to be someone else.Speak frankly all the doubt that she has in her heart and definately look good..
1 person likes this
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
22 Feb 08
Yes indeed, you are absolutely right and I have told her the same thing. Thanks so much for responding! :)
@jarves (814)
• Philippines
22 Feb 08
Wow! That is good for her to go out for a date for the first time for 21 years of her life.hehehhe From the looks of it, the guy is trust worthy, you should not have any worries of who she is with, as long as both of them are happy with each other, that's no problem. I just wish your daughter a happy first date!
1 person likes this
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
22 Feb 08
Thanks for responding. :) Yes, it isn't that wasn't interested in dating, the Lord just had not sent anyone her way yet. But even if nothing but friendship comes from this it is still a wonderful thing for her. Have a great day!
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
22 Feb 08
It sounds all good. It will be good for her to meet someone as long as she doesn't get her hopes up and takes things slow, I think. Like you said, even if it doesn't blossom into a relationship, it will at least be a start in her getting out and about. how is she feeling about it all?
1 person likes this
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
22 Feb 08
I have told her the same thing, just be yourself, don't go into this expecting anything but friends. I told her that if God intends for more to come of it it will and if not He knows what is best for her. She wants God's will too and she agrees with everything I have told her. Thank you so much for responding. :)
@vanities (11387)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Feb 08
i understand what you feel about her first date..but i guess too that he is a good man and hope that its true..anyway just always give her moral support and all..God Bless..
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
22 Feb 08
Thank you so much and I agree with you 100 percent! :)
@Mamaof2 (574)
• Canada
21 Feb 08
A Mothers intuition is never wrong and since you feel at peace with this date and the situation I believe that all will be well. Your daughter is old enough to know and to feel out the situation and I believe that she feels positive or else she would not be going. There are also some great indicators the he is sincerely a good man. Good luck to this first date and may all be well :-)
1 person likes this
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
22 Feb 08
Thank you so much for your response. Yes, I do feel at peace and after he called her again last night I'm even more impressed with him as you can see from some other comments I have made on responses. My husband feels good about it too and you know how dads are about their daughters. He has a peace about it also.
@terri0824 (4991)
• United States
21 Feb 08
This sounds like an awesome opportunity for Amanda to gain a friend if nothing else. Being a mother myself of a 21 year old, I know how this could be nerve wracking for you. Just pray God's will to be done in this situation as he see's fit, and let God do the rest. I know sometimes that is easier said than done. But God after all does have the master plan.
1 person likes this
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
22 Feb 08
I agree with you Terri. I was just sharing another response a few minutes ago to another comment. He called her again last night and told her he was concerned about keeping her out too late so instead of going where they originally talked about they are going somewhere close to home. He started telling her about some things he believes in as a Christian and she told him that she feels the same way. She said to me this morning "Mama, his voice is so soothing when I hear it. He just has a way of calming me. I am not nervous at all about meeting him." That was wonderful to hear. I want her to have a really good time and as you have already said God's will to be done. Hugs! Shelia
@AmbiePam (50257)
• United States
21 Feb 08
She must be so excited! Did they get to exchange pictures? Blind dates would make me nervous. I've had so many people want to set me up on a blind date, and I'm like no way. But if the Lord has it in store, then no one should get in the way of stopping it, lol.
1 person likes this
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
22 Feb 08
Hi Amber! No hon they haven't got to exchange pictures. They have talked two times on the phone. He called her last night saying that he was concerned about keeping her out too late, so instead of going to the place they had first talked about he is going to take her somewhere closer to home and let her decide. I'm telling you, I'm more impressed all the time with him. They have already been talking about the things that they believe in as Christians andI think this is wonderful. I told her to just be honest and upfront with him about any questions he has. I really feel good about this.
21 Feb 08
Cheer up! I believe that God has somebody planned for Amanda. YOu can start praying now If he is God's will for her. Few days ago, my boyfriend and i were taking about what would be our children would look like. since he is a european wiht a green eyes and a brown hair and im Asian. We hoped that our little girl would get my hair color, but she will get his eye color. Thats brunette with a green eyes, and we thought its pretty. Then i told him shes not getting any date until she 18 but he said 21. adn i remembered that conversation when i was reading your comment. :-)
1 person likes this
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
21 Feb 08
You are truly right!! If this doesn't work then God will have someone else in mind for her. Thanks so much for responding! :) SheliaLee
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb 08
Sweetie I hope she had a lovely time I really do I will talk to you later and then you can tell me how she got on Love and hugs