Confession

You sound like a good person and you don't need this torture and anguish. It's easy for us to write LEAVE HIM!! But we aren't in your shoes. All I can say is- it looks like he has another family.. it looks like he is putting the effort into that family. I would make the break now. For YOUR family. I wish you all the luck in the world, and if you ever need anyone tot talk to, you can message me!

It sounds like you need to break up with him. His actions show me that he loves the other woman more than he loves you. do you have kids with him? Is he a good father? If so, then set up a good visitation with the kids. Just because he is a bad husband doesn't automatically make him a bad father. If you don't have kids, then it can be a clean break. You deserve to have a man in you life that wants you first. It will be hard but it will free you to find that person who will treat you so much better.

I am sorry to hear your plight and just don't know to feel sorry or angry for your indifferent attitude for that 10 long suffering years. I mean you could and should have done something the moment you found out about his affair. Keeping quiet just cannot bring him around and certainly not back by your side. You see there are a lot of ways and things you could have done to make the situation turn around. Anyway, since you have decided to leave him I think you will need to think about your future ahead for yourself. It would be good if you could get some evidence of his extra marital affair, his current family and the love child. You might want to hire a PI if you are not resourceful and capable enough. After you have the evidence, you may want to file your divorce on extra marital grounds. In most countries, women who divorce on such grounds would be able to obtain at least half of their partner's assets including maintainence and compensation. I know you may say that money isn't everything, but please remember that you will be by yourself from your divorce henceforth. It would be good if you could have some footing 1st before you commence your lonesome trip and 1 of them will be a roof over your head and some money in your pocket. I hope you will not go soft on this now as this will be your life and make up for the 10years that you had lost.

I feel very sad for you. But you have to be strong. Do not let him walk all over you like this. You need to confront him with the passport. You know for a fact that he's been back. Do not let him get away with this. You deserve an explanation. If you do not confront him he is just gone to keep doing it, knowing that you are not gone to say something. You have to stay true to yourself. Do not let this eat away at you inside. And thats exactly whats gone to happen if you do not confront him. He'll keep doing what he's doing and it will eat away at you for biting your tongue. We all deserve better than that. Do not let him get away with this.

Well you have done the hard part now,and it is ok to let yourself cry, there is lots to cry about. I am so sorry this has happened to you, but now that it is out after ten years, well now you can live again. Think about it. You are free to do as you wish, he will be in the childrens life I am sure, and he will have to take responsibilty. Some of the hardest things I ever had to do in life , where in the end the best things for me. So cry, grieve your loss, cuz it is a biggey, and then pick yourself up, hold you head high. You did a good job, for far to long. He is the one who should be so a shamed. ((Big Hugs)) to you.

damn i feel bad for you , well seems to me that your only evidence is that passport , probaly run over to Kinkos to get it photo copied or if you have a scanner at home make one ..thats just mighty dirty of your husband of doing that, even naming his own son ...but why didnt you react when you knew of this 10years ago? you cant lie to yourself anymore , get this over with to live a happy new life , so it will do yourself some good

I read you second comment and I think you did the right thing. It really sound like you are on the bottom of his list of people and as his wife you should be number one. I am glad that you stood up for your self. I know it is going to be hard for you to get over this part of your life, but each day will get a little easier.

This very sad to hear!! I hate ditchers..!! Its like stabbing you from back.. why can't people stab from front... huh!! And myRose first tell me why are staying numb?? DO think the relationships will work and things will get back to normal staying numb like that. WOmen this about 10 years now..!! You need to speak up and ask him the truth. YOu should stand up and think about you. Fight for it.

You have lived with this hurt and been in denial for 10 years. Now you have some proof. I think it is time to confront him. You deserve so much better than this. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this.

Do you have children? How long your husband is working in other country? and what is his visting schedule to your home? Has he given a satisfactory life all along in your married life. you ponder all these aspects. After 10 years of married life,it is better to ignore his life in other country, if he continues to be a responsible father to your children and a good husband to you, leaving this offence.

Please don't bottle all these feelings up, it is only going to brew inside you and make you ill. You need to confront your husband and discuss what you suspect and tell him how you feel. Then I personally think you deserve alot better, I think it would be too hard to repair the damage that he has done.

The question is..can you live with this? You say you have known for ten years, so why is it bothering you so much now? Have you confronted him? Talked to him? Asked why he arrived home 11 days later than what his passport said? These are all questions that need to be answered. For me, I could not live with a man who not only cheats, but has a whole other family somewhere else. It's a too big a lie. You are only getting pieces of him and that is not how marriage works. You give yourself completely to your spouse, mind, and body. You are not getting that from this man. Don't you think you deserve that from a spouse? I am not telling you to leave your husband, I don't know your situation except for several lines written on a website. You must really examine all that you are feeling. What you think you deserve out of life. And try talking to your husband, maybe things arent as they seem, although I am a firm believer that a woman can always tell when her man is cheating on her. Good Luck to you.

It is really hard to digest these facts. But it is high time you talk to your DH as to what is really happening and that you know all the facts. He might deny it but if you have enough proofs collected talk with him with an elderly person of the family. Dont make it a fuss but all at the same time dont show off your emotions too. Keep your cool and be calm which discussing this issue with him.

I feel sad for you. I can feel your bitterness too. Betrayal is something really hard to accept and deal with. Honestly, I dont' really know what will I do if I were in your shoes. Before I married my husband I told him... that there are only 2 things that will make me leave you... one, if you will have an affair with another woman, and two, if you hit me. We are married for only 8 months and I can't say much about it. But my only advice to you is to talk it out. I know it is not easy but being honest with your feeling will help you to release whatever pain you have inside. If he denies it or not... at least he knows that you know something. Pray. That's where I get my strength in times of trials. I will pray for you too. Take care.