switched at birth

@winterose (39918)
Canada
February 23, 2008 5:25pm CST
we have all heard about the stories where hospitals have made mistakes and have given the wrong baby to the mother. there have been movies made about this as well. There was one where the families found out several years later and one family had a child that was very ill, (I believe this was a true story) so ill that she was going to die, then found out that that child was not there own and took the other family to court for their real daughter, who was incidently very healthy. 1- so what would you do if you had a healthy child raised it for about 10 years and then found out you were given the wrong baby, would you want your baby back and give up the child you raised for 10 years? 2- What if the child you raised for 10 years is healthy and you find out your real child is about to die, would you still want your real child back? please give your answers to both questions with explanation for best response
3 people like this
9 responses
@Razzles (391)
• United States
24 Feb 08
This would be a very difficult decision to give up the child that you have raised for 10 years. I would need to give the child up, but I would still want to maintain my relationship with the child. I would like it to be an extended relationship type of thing. I think this this would be in the best interest of everyone involved.
• Finland
24 Feb 08
The children should be handed out to their legit parents, not only determined by their blood but also devotion.
2 people like this
@queenofarms (1665)
• United States
24 Feb 08
It would be hard to give up the child I raised as mine. I would like to get to know the other child and them to know me. Let them know what happened and that I would like them to be a part of my life. Whether it be staying with the family that raised them or coming to live with me. Would give them the choice its their life also. To find out my real child was dying I would definately want to get to know this child before its to late. I would hope the other family would want to be in the childs life and not upset the childrens life by causing trouble. And again I think the child needs to take part in where it wants to be. I would insist on the child getting to know the family though. There would be alot of people getting hurt no matter what the decision is.
2 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
24 Feb 08
this was actually a legal battle, and visiting rights had to be decided in court.
1 person likes this
@spoiled311 (5502)
• Philippines
24 Feb 08
wow this is a tough question. because in the first place, i wouldn't want my child to be exchanged with somebody else's...my answers would be hypothetical, because i don't really know what will happen or what will be my reaction when it will happen. 1- so what would you do if you had a healthy child raised it for about 10 years and then found out you were given the wrong baby, would you want your baby back and give up the child you raised for 10 years? well, even if it is hard, i guess, i will have to ask the other parties concerned. would the other set of parents be willing to exchange? then there would be the children. would they want to stay where they are? 2- What if the child you raised for 10 years is healthy and you find out your real child is about to die, would you still want your real child back? i guess this is not a matter of health and sickness. it really matters where you are happy. i think it is already good to know that this is your kid and that is your kid. it is really tough, but the reaction should be based on the circumstance. :-)
• Philippines
24 Feb 08
Well if that happened to me.I would sue the hospital for giving me the wrong child..But this sick child that I raised as my own would still be treated as my own child even if she/he is not. I have loved him since birth..I will also look for my real child and try to catch up on what we have missed. If both the parents are willing I will be more than welcome to have another set of parents for my kids. As long as they are good parents and have treated my child so well.:)
2 people like this
• India
24 Feb 08
First i will take all efforts to save the child that i have rised for 10 years, and if i fight for the girl that i have not raised, in a situation like this, then all the affinity and love that i have showered on the child that i have raised ( though now ailing and proved that it is not mine)will not be a real one. Love necessarily dont need logical and blood relation ships. It all comes from the heart and transcends to a greater bondage. Secondly, i will appraise the real facts to both the child, and if they are willing i will let go to the real parents. Because, i feel and have some experiences regarding the true love in one's real life. " Love is like a butterfly The more you chase it, the more it will elude you, But., If you turn you attention on other things It comes and softly sits on your shoulder" Happy mylotting Winterose:)
2 people like this
@sacmom (14315)
• United States
24 Feb 08
I wouldn't want to give up the child I raised, whether or not I had the healthy one or the dying one. Nor would I want my birth child back, so long as the parents were good decent people, as I'd feel just awful trying to separate this child from the only parents they know. Sure, I'd feel sick inside that my actual child was with them and not with me, but it just wouldn't be right to do this to the child. However I would hope that the parents would let this child get to know the birth parents as the child has a right to know who their birth parents are. Don't you agree?
2 people like this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
24 Feb 08
It would be very hard to give up the child I raised even if ti wasn't mine but I would still like to have my real child back even if it was sick. I would want to know my real child also and give them a proper burial from their real parents. I know I may have to give up the other child but I would at least ask for visitation rights.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Feb 08
If it was the same movie I had watched I remember that at the end the solution was that both Mothers decided that the best solution was to include each other in each of their child's life. It was a good solution because they would be able to be in the life of their child. 1. The bond between a child and it's Mom is very strong and I would want to get my child back. I don't know so much that I would disrupt his/her life because a person that truly loves a person wants what's best for the person. I would look at what kind of life the child is having. Is the child happy in the home of where he is living. These and other questions is what I would ask myself before I would make a decision that is going to totally disrupt the child's life. The one thing that I would tell the person that is and was taking care of my child is that I would like to get to know him/her better. What comes to mind is in the bible there is a story of two women that were fighting over a baby. Both said the baby was hers. The king had to decide who the baby was. So finally he asked for a sword and was going to cut the baby in half and give half to each women. One women said yes do it and the other women cried out to give the baby to the other women and the king knew who the baby belonged to. The women who would not allow the baby to be cut in half. The welfare of the child would be top priority. If they were happy I would leave things as they were with only being able to visit with the child.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Feb 08
For the second question you asked that would be the hardest to answer. If your child is dieing and you don't know the child although there is a bond of types it would be hard to want the child back only because you don't know them and what would hang over my head is the fact that this child is going to die. It would be a very hard decision to make. I have raised the other persons child for ten years and already have a bond with him/her. So I don't know if I would be able to give up the child that I had raised for ten years.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Feb 08
This is such a tough thing to even talk about hypothetically. I just had my son six months ago and having him switched was one of my biggest fears. (Thankfully, the hospital also worried about this happening and had my husband with the baby right after delivery so he could literally see them take him out of me (c section) and put the ID bracelets on. But hypothetically speaking, I don't think I could just give up the child I raised for 10 years, simply because his blood isn't my own. The bond we'd have would still be just as real as if our blood were the same. The ups and downs, joys and sorrows, shared would still be the same. Now, if the other parents wanted their child back, I'd have no choice. Health wouldn't matter. Of course I would want to know my real child, but I don't think I'd want him/her to know that I was their mother. If they're happy with the parents who raised them, I'd be doing a huge disservice by pushing for the child to know the truth. Also, I'm a big fan of the Golden Rule. I wouldn't want the other mother pushing for the child I raised to know the truth if a switch wasn't going to happen, so I wouldn't do that to another mother. Life is hard enough for children, especially these days. The last thing I would want to do would be to complicate their life with something as major as "my real parents don't love me" (if we didn't switch), or "the people I thought were my parents don't love me" (if we did.) It would shake their foundation so greatly...
1 person likes this