Do you think you NEED to have things in common with your partner?

@breepeace (3027)
Canada
February 25, 2008 11:05am CST
Obviously it goes without saying that important things like whether or not you want children, your ideas of morality and ethics, etc should be similar, if not the same to your partner's, but what about interests? Can a relationship succeed if both parties don't enjoy doing the same things? What about if both parties have some common interests, but their strongest interests don't match? For example, one person really enjoys skydiving, and the other could care less?
3 people like this
13 responses
@crystal8577 (1470)
• United States
25 Feb 08
No, but I think it helps. I really do not have anything in common with my husband & we have been together for 9 years. Just because you do not have things in common does not mean you don't do things together. It is all about give & take.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Feb 08
Well they say the opposites attract right? I do believe, however, that it would be more beneficial if both parties had similar interests. Everything doesn't have to equal but a few wouldn't hurt.
1 person likes this
@Modestah (11192)
• United States
26 Feb 08
yes, for the vitality of the marriage, I think it is very important to have things in common - though that is not to say that all things must be in common. they say opposites attract - I think that it is more true that like attracts like.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12071)
• India
26 Feb 08
Not everything...then we would be like siamese twins having no life besides each other. I wouldn't like that. I do stuff that my husband doesn't enjoy and he does things that I don't. It's not so bad and we get to meet other people and have a life besides each other...and get our space too. I have a neighbour whose husband enjoys an activity which keeps him out of the house all weekend. She doesn't share his interest and so she prefers staying home. The only problem they have now is the toddler who she has to take care of whole day when he is out. Besides that she has no problem with his activity. She's waiting for the child to grow a little older when dad and son can enjoy it together.
1 person likes this
@NCgirl (488)
• Philippines
25 Feb 08
It shouldn't be all similar or else it could turn boring too, what's important is you two are enjoying something together and having fun about it. Two individuals has to have their own thing, their own life I think. For me differences among partners brings more an interesting twist in the relationship, with this they get to learn how to compromise and enjoy their partner's likes..
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16235)
• United States
25 Feb 08
No. I don't think you need to. Sometimes ones interests grows on the other and becomes part of them, but not necessarily to the point where they get involved in it. Other times we eventually find our own interests together and that becomes the common denominator. I know sounds weird but I think thats what happened to me and my husband. Totally different interests and that's one of the things that attracted me to him. They have grown on me and mine on him and now we have found our own interests to do together. Of course he gets to go off and do his thing and me too, which is always nice to be able to do from time to time. If my husband was into skydiving I would love to give it a go. I'm game for trying anything (within reason!).
• Canada
1 Mar 08
I think a relationship could succeed if both partners are open to trying new things. but if they are both hard headed and don't wanna do anything that the other one does then no I think that relationship would be sure to fail
@ngty69 (974)
• India
26 Feb 08
Well If both have common things then life becomes to easy without adventures. So If you have some things not common then you both can try different things to make it common so which will ultimately make you try some new things in life. Which will make it more adventurous. So be different and try different things and enjoy the lifes different adventures. Thanks for reading my response. Goodbye
• United States
26 Feb 08
not all marriages and love affairs are made in heaven. i sometimes wonder why some people stay together as they have nothing in common..even what you mentioned..it seems the more i see of marriage i wonder how anyone stays married as long as they do..my parents used to fight like crazy..but stayed married a long long time..and now I am married for 22 years..and that seems like an eterniy..but it will go on and on as I see no better life for me or my wife...its not for the weak or faint of heart..that is for sure...but opposites attract ..of that ..I ..am ..sure
@nanayangel (7839)
• Philippines
26 Feb 08
Hi there breepeace! I think that it is important for couples to have at least one thing in common. It will keep the conversations interesting if you have different interests since it means that you won't be together every minute of the day and you both have time to practice your individuality and have to share something new to your partner everytime but I don't think a relationship will survive when you definitely have nothing in common. How will you bond? How will you enjoy spending time together when you don't enjoy what the other do? I think that at least one thing in common will be enough.
• Australia
26 Feb 08
Yes i think you have to have somethings in common or atleast interests in the same things. i dont like those girls that sit around and wait for their partners, i guess it makes me feel trapped and i like to be able to do my own things. I think you should have some shared interests and some seperate hobbies, so your world dont clash to much.
• Philippines
26 Feb 08
In my opinion every person have this common interest and that is what called bonding moments. I think it is needed in every relationship one has to give way just to be with someone, one has to sacrifice their like just to be with someone.For me it is called love. You discover something on your partner eventhough you are not familiar with that doings, you will be because you love her /him and you want to be with him. And by doing that you have to like what they like and vice versa. One has to give way and its very easy when your in love.
@Chey1970 (1193)
• United States
25 Feb 08
To me, yes, I think you need to have common interest with your partner. If not then they will be going off to do something they enjoy while you off doing something else. If time isn't spent together, then ya'll would slowly drift apart. However, I seriously doubt their is a couple out there, that exactly the same exact interests as each other (tick for tack .. meaning everything they are interested in). A couple does need an escape of there own too.