Why does a man cheating make the woman insecure?

@mrsjbelle (1641)
United States
February 26, 2008 8:49pm CST
I never understood this. If you say "I think my man is cheating" some people will say Your insecure. Why is it the woman or in this case victims fault? Now please dont get me wrong if she is so jealous & rags him about everything that is completely differant.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I know what you mean. I think thast people think women are all just nagging and they feel insecure in a relationship. I think it is a woman's intuition that makes them feel the way they do. None of us were born yesterday and some of us have been in bad relationships and cheating was one of the problems, even though the man denied it all the way up until he was caught in the act.
1 person likes this
@mrsjbelle (1641)
• United States
27 Feb 08
YES Thank you finally someone gets it perfectly:) I can just "feel" when something isnt right. And yes men sometimes think we were born yesterday. If I am not meeting your needs then feel free to let me go there are other fish in the proverbial sea.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
2 Mar 08
You're welcome. I can just feel when something isn't right also because I have been done wrong so many times in the past. I hate being used and I wish if they weren't going to be faithful to me and love me, theat they would just move on. I don't have time to waste in life either.
• United States
27 Feb 08
cause many people think we're nuts when we say I just have that feeling. Such a strong feeling that we get and we just know. Some people just do not understand that. And usually when we get such a strong feeling we are right. I think some call us insecure just because I do not want to agree with us. If they say yea your right maybe he is cheating they know we are still gone to get upset. Even if we were the one who lets our suspicions known.
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@subha12 (18453)
• India
27 Feb 08
I think its from different perspective of different people. its always not insecurity. I think men cheats in relationship many times and women are victim of it.sometimes its the problem with women also that they are jealous.
1 person likes this
@etavasi (752)
• Malaysia
27 Feb 08
Lets think together mrsjbelle. The first i need to ask is. Why you use man. Does woman is very good and don't even cheat? Why does you say woman is the victim? For me everybody also sometimes cheat each other, no diferrent at all.
1 person likes this
• India
1 Mar 08
its nature of all women and cannot be solved by men only by god
@Carmetaf (309)
• United States
29 Feb 08
I've seen the behavior of a cheatin' man and guessed he was cheating LONG Before he ever got caught. In this case, it was my father. I have long since been out of the house. He got a job working at a hospital after my mom had a histerectomy, to help pay the bills. He started calling home and saying he was doing a double shift. Then the hours didn't match the $$ he said "oh payroll screwed up" then lots of late night and overnight shifts and he said "I fell asleep at the wheel so I pulled over and slept in the car" or "I spent the night at a friend's house, he needed someone to keep an eye on his sick children while he works" and my mom would don her halo and totally believe him. She's very naieve. After this happened a few times I did throw out the idea that he may not be 100% honest. He was blowing $ like crazy, bought a convertable and all this other mid-life crisis stuff. I was scared that when she found out she'd divorce him. Finally, one morning after pulling a late night shift, 6 mos after their 30th anniversary... someone called my mom and said "I just saw your husband with this woman, his car is parked in front of her house w/ snow on the windshield" Of course he'd been there awhile, the woman he was with had a rep for being quite forward with the menfolk. So, I definately think my intuition was stronger than my mom's. In the era she grew up in, most people were still faithful when married and held things together for better or worse. (Or maybe they were smarter and better at covering up an affair, or dirty laundry wasn't aired so much) I also feel she wasn't insecure because she trusted him 100% and was afraid to believe he'd be like that when they were both Christians and supposedly so in love. HE always showers her with kisses and I love you's. After that episode she is insecure and watches him like a hawk, he has to earn her trust back and at times he's wanted to just give up because he thought it was ridiculous that she had to be with him everywhere he went. So, yes I think women are suspicious more often if they have witnessed cheating in close family relationships, seen the patterns and developed an intuition about it. Or if they'd been burned once themselves and don't want it to happen again. Personally, I know my husband has more love for machinery than he does for me LOL So he will never cheat. (except maybe with a milling machine haha)
@manya_pearl (1905)
• Singapore
29 Feb 08
Of course, woman insecure. For me, i will have relationship with a man because i trust him. So if i cant trust him anymore, it means "break up". Man cheat with other woman makes the girlfriend really insecure, of course i know how its feel. Its really terrible, all comes to my mind that he feels unsatisfied or tired with our relationship. I always do my best and always care about him... but he cheat? You know woman's brain is more complicated than man, since woman uses the left and right side, while man is only left side. Man maybe think something too simple, but woman has more things they think from something simple...
• Australia
27 Feb 08
i dont get it either. there are alot of jealous women out there, i have been one at times... but jealousy is a curse and love is something you have to work on, in my eyes.