Please and Thank you
By SViswan
@SViswan (12051)
India
February 27, 2008 9:38am CST
I heard somewhere that a person who is polite to you and rude to the waiter is not really a nice person.
I just realized when we went to a restaurant that not many people thank the waiter when they take an order. I do and so does my son. We also say 'Thank you' when we are served.
lol...we also say 'Thank you' and 'Please' at McDonald's when placing an order. I can't say the same for my husband though. He thinks we are crazy!
I always make it a point to wish a doctor when we enter the doctor's room and thank them when we are leaving. The only time my son never thanked the doctor was when he had a fracture. He was in so much pain and refused to thank them even when I reminded him..lol
So, the question here is...do you use the 'magic words' at a restaurant even if it isn't a fancy one?
38 people like this
112 responses
@babykeka80 (2084)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I work in a restaurant and a lot of people thank me. You get those who are very nice and appreciative and you also get those that look down on you like you are not worthy to speak to them. I think they like to act as if we are trash because we wait tables. They fail to forget over half the servers are working their way through school or just do it as a second job. My husband does it in regular restaurants but can be a jerk at fast food. I yell at him for it.
4 people like this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
27 Feb 08
That's a first hand response:)
I know how most servers in most countries are working their way through school or trying to earn extra money...but that's not the case in India. Most of the waiters are poor people who do it for a living (other than the waiters at fancy restaurants). It's become a habit for me and I will thank anyone who does anything for me...they are doing their job and providing service.
3 people like this
@babykeka80 (2084)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Thank you is just a common courtesy in my opinion. Whether it is a homeless man shining your shoes or a business exec. that is trying to close a multimillion dollar deal. It is just the proper thing to do.
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Absolutly I do!! lol I think it's become more of a habit now a days but a good one nonetheless. Kindness has been a thing that's been flying out the window these days and to see a few that still do it, makes me smile. My mom always says about a mean person, "kill them with kindness", I agree to a point. lol
4 people like this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
27 Feb 08
lol...it's become so much of a habit for us that I didn't realize that others don't do it till my husband teased us (my son and me) about it. And then I started paying attention to others at restaurants and realized that not many people said it.
I even say 'Thank you' and 'please' FOR my 15 month old son when someone does something for him or he needs something....because I feel he will pick up the words more easily when I do it....he can't really speak anything more than gibberish at the moment.
2 people like this
@febriantoeko (205)
• Indonesia
28 Feb 08
illustrare you life with alway smile and the contents live you with a significant matter, glad to have made your acquaintance for febriantoeko
@shakeroo (3986)
• Malaysia
27 Feb 08
You brought up a very good discussion here. Many people take the "magic word" for granted and refused to utter it even when the circumstances warrant that. I am one of them who would do it sometimes but not all the time. I guess I have to keep it in my mind to say thank you all the time from now on. Thanks for the reminder pal!
@madlees (1377)
• India
28 Feb 08
Many in India have grumpy faces dear sviswan.. if they do not like the food they'll scream at the person who served it. I have this and much more. Some are actually very rude and too at the second grade and third grade hotels and fast food etc. Not all arelike that, people like you and me are also there....
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
27 Feb 08
To me Thank yoa and please are just automatic things no matter who I am talking to if I say "can I or may I" I always say please. eg in the shop buying a pack of smokes "can I have a packet of (whatever) please". My husband does the same and so does my little one he even apoligezes for things that he dosnt do which is funny. If we go to a shop and someone knocks something down he keeps saying escuse me I am sorry untill the person lookes at him.
3 people like this
@KillerBees (6)
• China
1 Mar 08
I quite agree with Nancy_If. Smile is very important. All of us should say "thank you" to waiter/waitress with a smile on face.
@Nancy_lf (34)
• China
29 Feb 08
Me too.Such as "thank u" "please" is always near my mouth,no matter what kinds of situation.I think nice words is very important for everybody espical for the servers,they devote themselves to make your life better,so be kind of them is reasonable ,everybody should say them with smile.
@Ldyjarhead (10233)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I always use 'please' and 'thank you' with everyone I come in contact with. I can't imagine a reason not to?
Why does your husband think you are crazy? Since when is it not just good manners to say a kind word?
3 people like this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
27 Feb 08
Most people in India don't do it...and I'm not surprised at my husband's reaction actually. No one in his family does it either. My husband doesn't look down on them...and he speaks nicely to them...but just doesn't think it's necessary to say the 'magic' words. He isn't rude...but just doesn't want to use those words.
1 person likes this
@madlees (1377)
• India
28 Feb 08
Even if they couldn't say the magic words, they could at least smile a thanks to them Right??? That smile will also make the day for them. It is not going to cost anything for them to smile.
@febriantoeko (205)
• Indonesia
28 Feb 08
The experience what could you are able for you gether in mylot and you have how long and produced by him how
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
27 Feb 08
I do have a tendancy not to use the word "please" more by lazyness than anything else... when I ask for something.
But if someone ask me "Would you like this or that?" I always answer by "Yes please" or "No thanks".
I will always thanks someone handing me something... be it the waiter or anyone else.
Courtesy is cheap... not being courteous makes you cheap. Furthermore... people love courtesy. Being courteous to your waiter is most likely to get you better service... and to be remember next time you go there.
Just because you pay someone for a service does not give you the right to treat him like a slave. You are not buying him... you are buying his service. Many people fail to realise this.
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
15 Mar 08
Absolutely, I always say "please" and "thank you"! It seems like a lot of people these days were simply never taught to have good manners, which is sad. I think it's something that should be learned at a very early age, then it will become a habit and will never be forgotten.
Annie
2 people like this
@devilsangel (1817)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Actually yes I do... I say please and thank you to anyone who's helping or getting me something. It's only polite. Even when we are out to dinner and a waiter or waitress ask if we need something I'll say yes thank you or no thank you to them. I figure I'd wnat to be treated with respect so why not treat them that way. Hell I even do it with the customer service people on the phone lol.
2 people like this
@jsitko (1169)
• United States
11 Mar 08
I think it is very important to say please and thank you and you should say it with a smile, the person you are saying it to will actually believe you mean it and it is not just a habit. The people around you may hear and see it too and hopefully it will be catchy. When I met my husband he and his family rarely said these words, but since I have entered the family and they hear me saying it and placing it where they should be saying it, I hear it a little more often. When one of the nieces or nephews ask for something and they don't say please, I will say it so they will repeat it. It just comes automatic for me to do that. You kids will say it if they hear you say it.(unless of course they are in pain :(
@SViswan (12051)
• India
15 Mar 08
lol...yes, my son takes after me and does say Please and Thank you all the time.
Even though he didn't thank doctor because he was in pain, he remembered to thank the doctor the next time he visited and also apologized for not thanking him the last time.
1 person likes this
@dayzz25 (552)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I always use my manners no matter where I'm at. Sometimes I get aggravated if I tell a cashier or another person "Thank you" and they don't use their manners. I get that alot in the small town that I live. When someone says "thank you", you should say "your welcome". It's good that you have taught your son to use his manners. I hope my daughter will be as polite when she starts talking. Have a great day.
2 people like this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
27 Feb 08
lol...we usually never wait to see if the person says 'you are welcome'.
But at my bank, I usually get a smile from the cashier and a 'Have a nice day' when I thank her. But no one else has ever bothered to acknowledge our thank you except maybe a few doctors.
1 person likes this
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
14 Mar 08
Yes I always say please and thank you every time I go to any type of restaurant or anywhere for that matter. When I go shopping and a clerk helps me find something I always say thanks too. I think it is nice to be polite to people as I would want people to be polite to me also. I don't like rude people and I have even stuck up for someone when they are encountered with a rude person. I don't think there is any excuse for being rude, even if the person is rude to you. I won't stoop to someone elses level by being rude to a rude person, unless it is to stick up for someone else.
2 people like this
@joanne1990 (12)
•
6 Mar 08
being poliet is mostly important especailly to others as well its shows what type of person you are... and the people around u... how to speak to those that you dont know... because u dnt knw wheather they will respect what you say or the way you speak to them if you have different accent or watever.
@DevilHands (573)
• Philippines
9 Mar 08
I do want to say thank you to the waiter if I ever was served in the restaurant but most of the time I would just tend to nod my head and smile as an alternate way to say thank you but... Yes, I do agree with you that people who don't respect them are not really polite in real life.
People that I know of that doesn't respect them are one of the most selfish brats I know in real life.
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
3 Mar 08
We are all human beings, people, brothers and sisiters. Some of us are smarter or richer or funnier or happier, Some of us work really hard and some of us are good at many different things.
NObody is better than anyone else.
"a person who is polite to you and rude to the waiter is not really a nice person". I so agree with this and it's a good indication of the sort of treatment you can expect from this person.
Who would you rather meet...a pig headed, cranky rude doctor or an ordinary, polite, caring waitress?
As a race, we have come so far and achieved so much but we are still unable to basically get along with our fellow human beings...this is terribly wrong and sad.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
6 May 08
Why does your husband think you are crazy? Does he think he is better than these people? I do it for everyone, but most especially service people, checkout operators, bank tellers etc. These people are generally treated badly by both managemeent and even other staff in the case of checkout operators. These people are no worse or better than anyone else and deserve respect, kindness and courtesy as do we all.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
9 May 08
Aaah...you are right about the arrogant bit! And I have to admit...that it's come down (thank God!) over the years. I couldn't stand that character of his (now don't ask me why I married him then.....we had an arranged marriage and I didn't see the arrogance then).
I'm so glad that my son isn't turning out to be that way (I'm the main influence in his life)...though I can't say the same about the younger one. But I'm sure not going to stand around watching him behave like that.
And coming back to the topic, it's so much a habit for my son and me to say 'thank you' when anyone gives us something...be it a thing or service.
@glowie (89)
• Singapore
4 Mar 08
Hi,
It is a polite gesture to say thank you to those who serve you.
it does not be restricted to only waiter even loves one.. like partners and siblings and relatives too. However some people are not comfortable with verbal kindness.... so their patient wait or smile does is the same as the thank you you have for the waiters.... ;
keep up the kind words. ;
Cheers,
Glowie
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I always use please and thanks everywhere- no matter what. I worked in restaurants for a long time and you would be amazed how many people do not say please and thank you. They just expect that you will wait on them like you owe them something. Money is nice but being polite will take you much further in this world and your sense of self than money will. My children have also been taught from a very young age to say please and thank you and they do it everyday to either me or someone else. I get high praise and shock from people when my kids use please and thank you.
There is something sad in America when people are shocked and amazed at polite children!
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
9 Mar 08
lol..that's not the case in America alone....it's the same in India...and my son's class teacher mentioned that my son (and another kid) were the only kids in class who used the magic words all the time and were very polite.,...all the more reason for both of us to be shocked when another teacher accused him of being rude!
1 person likes this
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
9 Mar 08
That would be a shocker. I'm glad that people just aren't rude here. They can be rude anywhere- just goes to show you. But I wish people everywhere would get over themselves because being kind and polite really takes you a long way in life. Better than the rude impolite short way!
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Feb 08
I had never thought about it until now but yes I do.my husband thought I was nuts but I always thanked the waitress and the bus driver and the guy who delivers my groceries after all they did something nice for me so why should not I thank them. and when I phone to set up an appt for my access bus I always thank the lady who sets up the appt. it was something I was taught as a child by both my parents. My mom always said it does no harm to be polite to people specically those who do services for you whether its a waitor. or delivery person. or your doctor or your nurse. it does smooth the way.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
9 Mar 08
lol...I know what you mean...I do thank when I am not in a thank you frame of mind either.
And the only time I found that my son didn't thank anyone (even after being reminded) was when he fractured his leg. But he remembered to say 'sorry' the next time he visited the doctor ... for NOT 'thanking' him earlier.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Feb 08
just remembered I had been in the hospital for bleeding diverticulitis for five days the first four nights the vampire lady had to draw blood every three hours all night and I thanked each time and she would laugh and thank me back then when the nurses had to start a blood transfusion on me they had a devil of a time getting a good vein which meant several sticks I finally thanked her by sayin thanks for finally finding a good vein and she smiled. I have to admit I was not in a thank you frame of mind either at that time.
@whiteheron (4222)
• United States
4 Apr 08
I tend to thank the waitress and waiter... I sometimes forget to thank the hostess on the way out unless they say goodbye to me, then I do that too.
I believe in trying them as people because they are people...
I must admit that I have a lot more empathy for people who work in restaurants now that I have played Diner Dash- Restaurant Rescue on Shockwave and had to imagine trying to serve tables, deal with crying babies and picky people.
They deal with so much and give so much and are not as rewarded often as they should be.
1 person likes this
