Do you say "Please" and "Thank you" to your children??

United States
February 28, 2008 5:01am CST
My girls and I were in a restroom at Target the other day and I asked one of them to do something for me and I used the magic word "Please" and then I thanked her. I had a elderly woman comment to me that she rarely hears parents use "please" or "thank you" when it comes to talking to their children. It made me feel really good. I replied to her that I talk to my children, most of the time, the way I would want people to talk to me. I explained to her that we have our moments but if I can't show them good manners who is going to. It all starts at home!
5 people like this
22 responses
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
28 Feb 08
good for you! and its so true..if it doesnt start with us the parents/caregivers then where will it start...To answer your question, yes I do use manners with my kids and I expect them to do it with each other as well...There are times when I'm having a rough pain day or what have you that I dont always say please but i always say thanks/thank you..
3 people like this
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
28 Feb 08
yes, it is one of those things that takes so little effort on the part of a parent but allows us to influence the image our children present greatly blessed be
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 08
I know the two schools I work in really try to help mold our children into model students. One is doing such a great job at that, they just won last summer a Character Award from the state of Maryland. The other is working on it but the demographics are somewhat different and you can certainly tell the difference,
@icyorchid (2564)
• United States
28 Feb 08
You are so right on this Kim! I am the same way. lol My daughter and I butt heads a lot of certain things, but the one thing she does have is manners. She also uses the word mam amd sir sometimes. I hear lots of parents speak to their kids like they are talking to an adult (cursing them , etc.) and I just feel terrible and want to tell them something about it, but don't want an altercation about it. There are lots of people who don't like being told how to speak to thier kids. Because you are teaching your kids manners, they in turn will teach theirs and that is such a good thing and hopefully it will carry on and become the in thing as they say lol :)
2 people like this
@icyorchid (2564)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I don't know if anyone watched the movie Ernest saves Christmas, but I did with my daughter and we loved the movie, it is very funny. Any way, thing is there is a character who was on TV and he was to be the next Santa and he was teaching kids 3 little words on TV and the 3 little words were "Please" and "Thank You". I loved it because it was also teaching my kid and her friends this, as I was also teaching it and so it stuck in their heads. lol
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 08
Some of the kids I work with, you can tell never hear these words. It is so sad how they talk to adults and then their friends. But all I can do is keep instilling my manners on them and hope something will rub off on them. Barney the Dinosaur was something both my girls watched and it was stressed on all the shows. So that was a good reinforcement in our household.
@LouRhi (1502)
• Australia
28 Feb 08
It is so refreshing to hear such good common sense from a parent. While this comment seems only natural unfortunately so many parents fail to realize that parenting starts at home. So many times parents complain about how their children have bad manners or they don't talk nicely yet the parent can be guilty of exactly the same.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 08
Oh I couldn't agree more! Our neighbors raised their grandsons because dad was in jail and mom was an dancer, etc. These boys were always in trouble, just like dad and grandmom actually had the nerve one time to yell at the police blaming the schools for the way her grandson's turned out. We just shake our heads at them.
@LouRhi (1502)
• Australia
1 Mar 08
Yes manners are without a generational thing that is passed on down the line. It sounds like your neighbors have managed to miss out passing manners and appropriate behaviour on to two generations! It all comes down to respect really doesn't it, or rather lack there of
@moneyandgc (3430)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Yes, we do say please and thank you to our children. We want to raise them with good manners. My daughter started saying "thank you" and "You're welcome" at a year old because we always say it to her. She is just now grasping what "please" means and she uses it all the time. She thinks that as long as she says please that she automatically should get whatever it is that she is asking for. Then again she is still a baby. She won't turn two until May.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 08
But that is so good that she is saying them at such a young age!!! Just wait until "pretty please" comes! LOL
28 Feb 08
I have a 4 year old little girl and if there is one thing I think is the most important thing to her is the manners that she has, she is normally the one to tell me of for not using my manners enough. There is not enough children now a days with the manners that take just a thew seconds to say and it is suprising how many people out there dont realise how much further a PLEASE or THANK YOU will get them
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 08
You are so right!
@Ldyjarhead (10157)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Wow, that's not the norm? I always try to use kind words, no matter who I'm dealing with. (I can't say I'm successful 100% of the time. There's always the odd rude customer service person out there, ya know?) Seriously, even in a bad situation, I may get a bit steamed, but try to control it and ALWAYS try to leave the situation with a kind word. You'd be surprised how it can turn things around.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 08
When I worked in customer service, I always tried to kill the customer with kindness. I personally believe you can get further that way. I couldn't agree with you more. Just the other day I had to call my bank to see where my new bankcard was. I had waited the two weeks that they told me to wait and still no card. Called back, very polite, the gal was wonderful to deal with and she had the card and pin number overnight so I got it today. Now if I would called and been nasty, I don't think I would have received the card as fast.
@pankajlot (252)
• India
28 Feb 08
your discussion topic is really very good even i feel the same these small efforts are the pillars for your child,s future activities!
• United States
1 Mar 08
As a parent, it always makes my heart glow when someone compliments me on my child and how well-mannered they are.
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
28 Feb 08
I agree so very much with you. The only way a child is going to learn to use the magic words is if they hear them from their parents blessed be
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 08
And unfortunately, a lot of American adults, NOT ALL, are forgetting their manners. So sad!!!
@superbren (856)
28 Feb 08
I do also say thank you when my children pass me something, make me a cup of tea or do something for me.It makes them feel appreciated and needed.Occasionaly everyone's manners slip though, even mine.I might be thinking of something else or have a lot on my mind that day.On the whole tough it comes naturally.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 08
I agree that if children are use to hearing it at a young age they will grow up with it. It's funny, I was working with a first grade class yesterday of 13 students and when I was passing something out to them individually only two children said "thank you". I was really surprised and kinda of disappointed.
@gandatwo (602)
• Australia
28 Feb 08
A strong foundation makes for a strong building,I like your attitude kimbers.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 08
Thanks, our children do need a strong foundation, especially in this day and age.
@Saicows (113)
• Brazil
28 Feb 08
You are so right! If you trying to teach them to be polite and educated, you have to be polite to them.
2 people like this
@lala766 (240)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I always say "please" and "thank you" to my children. I have always done so. It teaches them good manners and it lets them see how they should talk to people. Your kids also feel appreciated when you say please and thank you to them. It is much better than just barking out demands and showing them no appreciation.
2 people like this
@KKKBsmom (1093)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I have to agree with you here Kim, if we don't use the words... how are our children going to learn to use them! But she is right... not many people use those words anymore!
@shymurl (2768)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I do. All the time. And my kids have picked up on it and uses please and thank you. Even my two year old. People are so impressed when they here him say thank you and your welcome. Makes me feel proud. I agree it all starts at home.
2 people like this
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
28 Feb 08
yES i DO TO TEACH THEM ON THEIR EARLY YEARS AND THEY BRING THAT WHEN THEY GET OLDER AT LEAST i RAISED THEM WITH MANNERS.
2 people like this
@jesiear (53)
28 Feb 08
All starts at home,my parents often tell me to do something from small one ,and then you can be sucessful. I like this good behavior,and I will show it to everyone .
• United States
29 Feb 08
I don't hear parents using manners with their children very often. If we want children to be polite, shouldn't be we modeling that behavior for them? One parent told me that if she uses the word "please" then her children see her request as something they can say no to, so she doesn't use it when giving directions. I wonder if other parents have the same reasoning. To me, that doesn't necessarily make sense when I take my experiences into account. An example would be when my boss would ask me to do something and say "please". I was glad for the courtesy, but knew that I didn't have much choice in whether to do it or not.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 08
I never looked at that way. I have had people asked me to please do something and if I couldn't, I wouldn't. If I am giving directions, I still do use the word please. I don't see a problem with it.
• United States
29 Feb 08
Children follow actions more than just words. I always say please, thank you and your welcome. Those are just words of respect. I use them with my grandkids and they always use those words. No matter where we have gone they don't have to be prompted to say them. It is obvious that my son and his wife use those words. My son is big on using actions to get his point across with his kids.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 08
Hats off to your son! Children do copy their parents in more ways than one.
@clinsbull (193)
• China
29 Feb 08
my son is 14 years old.sometimes i will say "please",almost forget it ,but if he got to do something for me ,i will say "thank u",so he always to do this ,it is funy that he can say "thank u " before he want to tell u something.if we can alway to do this,we will have a good habit in our life.
1 person likes this
@youless (94721)
• Guangzhou, China
29 Feb 08
I want my child to be polite. So I pay attention to this. In usual, sometimes I will say these polite words to him. Even if he is a little kid only, but I still say thank you and please. So he will learn from it.
1 person likes this