Don't you wish that you could say certain things while your at work?

United States
February 28, 2008 9:03am CST
Ok here is a list of what I wish I could say when I'm at work. Do you have anything to add or do you wish you could say these things when your at work or college? 1. How about never? Is never good for you? 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. No, my powers can only be used for good. 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message... 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. 10. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication. 11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 18. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
4 people like this
11 responses
@Hatley (164468)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Feb 08
I had worked in my local library for some twenty years and after a brief time for a minor surgery I planned to work for at least another year. Okay I go to the branch manager and ask for a two week leave of absence. she looks at me and says I dont want to do this, this is the hardest thing I have ever done. but I will have to let you go. I hate doing this but after all you are almost eighty." Now mind you she went on to say I was the best worker she had ever had and blah blah I hate really hate doing this.I did not say this as I was too stunned but afterwards during my last two weeks I wish I had said. well if you hate doing this so damned much then just dont do it. Okay?" By the way I might have been seventy nine but I was healthy and a damned good worker. also the Hatley is my last name. I am a woman.
3 people like this
• United States
3 Mar 08
you know I really hate when employers start out with You're a really good employee and I hate to do this .. It never seems to go anywhere but down hill after that with you wanting to kill the employer. LOL!!! have a nice day and thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Ya. Here are a couple... Rest assured, no one gives a sh*t what you think I see you're playing stupid again...looks like you're winning too.
3 people like this
• United States
2 Mar 08
The last one I really love and hope to use a comment to anyone that classifies under this. LOL!!
2 people like this
• Philippines
28 Feb 08
Nice one, i love the words you have there. I almost like everything what you said. Here are my additional lists of things I wanted to say when I am at work: 1. Could you please mind your business, my business is none of your business?? 2. Will take your shower in your house not here in the office? 3. Just in case you forget you're in the office, could you please wear something decent? 4. Will you stop pretending that you're beautiful? 5. Why are there lots of injustice here?
3 people like this
• United States
2 Mar 08
Thank you for your response .. I really like number 3.
1 person likes this
@bonbon664 (3470)
• Canada
28 Feb 08
LMAO....you've made my day. I'm at work now, and would love to be able say any one of those things. I often want to ask "Are you as stupid as you sound?". I wish we have one day where we were immune to any repercussions for saying stuff, but, alas, we just keep our mouths shut.
3 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 08
I had this one job where I had immunity I swear I could do anything and they wouldn't fire me , The really funny thing is I tried to get fired and couldn't LOL!!! Then when I had enough of the job I actually quit I sent Ryan in for my pay and you know what happened. They asked how I was and why they hadn't seen me was I sick. Payroll had no clue that I quit. LOL!!!!That was 2 weeks after I actually quit. LOL!!!
2 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 08
I say "What Am I? Flypaper for freaks?! ALL THE TIME. Here are some ways for you to say things at work so people aren't aware of what you really mean 1. I'm not sure that's feasible. When what you mean is "No way butt munch" 2. I'm a bit overloaded at the moment Means "Screw it, I'm on salary. 3. You don't say? really means Eat Crap! 4. Excuse me? means Eat Crap and DIE. 5. Excuse me, sir? EAT CRAP AND DIE BUTT MUNCH and my favorite... I LOVE A CHALLENGE! That means, THIS JOB SUCKS!
• United States
28 Feb 08
i knew I could count on you to give us some viable sayings that we can use. LOL!!!
2 people like this
@mummymo (23707)
1 Mar 08
LOL I guess i am lucky bella sweets but I DO use some of these (and worse) when I am at work! lol The thing is there are still some customers who insist on trying to beat me in a war of words but I think that may have almost happened once in over 11 years and it is such fun to watch these guys floundering! xxxx
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 08
I take it you either own your own business or are the manager of the place where you work. It would be so nice to have it out with a customer who is ten shades of wrong everyonce in a while.. LOL!!!!
2 people like this
@mummymo (23707)
4 Mar 08
No sweety i am not the owner but even their daughters ask my advice and help! lol I have worked with them for over 11 years though and my bosses think it is hilarious when i go on a rant! xxx
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Mar 08
You know that it's very rare to see someone in a job for a long time anymore. LOL!! Because of the job market every changing and the competitive pays out there. LOL!! Thanks for the clarification and have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@AD11RGUY (1266)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Well, being in automotive, I get to say these things like: "What's this 'we' shyte?! You got a mouse in your pocket?!" "When you're done vucking that up, let me know." "Do you think I really give a shyte?" "Well, like they say, better you than me." (Used for when someone gets a booger of a job.) "I'd tell you how to do that right but I wanna get out of here on time." "Next time aim for the floor and maybe you'll get most of it in the drain pan." Gotta love fixin' cars.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 08
I have missed you Rguy and your pressence in my discussions. I love your sayings I think the what's this we shyte, is the best because I have used that more than once on my other half when he say we have to clean or do something that he volunteered us for and I know I'm the one going to be stuck doing it . LOL!!! Have a nice day and thank you for stopping by and visisting me.
2 people like this
@AD11RGUY (1266)
• United States
3 Mar 08
I've missed you as well. Lost my old hard drive, so between figuring that out and then installing the new one, two weeks had flown by. But I'm back. So you'll be seeing me 'round the Lot again. Hugs
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Mar 08
((((((((hugs))))))))) To you hun. Sorry your hard drive decided to crap out on you. I'm glad your back and will be thrilled to see you on my threads. I'll have to visit yours too.
1 person likes this
@cortney09 (1346)
• United States
3 Mar 08
Those were great. I especially like number 9. I to wish we could say those things.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 08
I know what you mean but do you have one that you wish you could say and it's not up there?
1 person likes this
@cortney09 (1346)
• United States
8 Mar 08
I would have to say "Do I have stupid written on my forhead?"
@AICIRT81 (847)
• United States
2 Mar 08
I actually told a customer once who was complaining about policy "Sorry I just work here" 19. Lets trade paychecks, then maybe I'll care 20. You are telling this because??? 21. Hey, You called Me... I didnt want to talk to you in the first place 22. I can read. And no I am not retarded so stop talking to me like i am.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 08
Those are ones that need bold lettering. LOL!! I really wish I could have said 21 at the one job I was working I think it would have really ticked them off in record time. LOL!!!
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18453)
• India
29 Feb 08
I think all these points are very nicely pointed out. I hope i could have said so also. may be 19. I did not wanted to join this company 20. raise my salary like others.. so on
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 08
I don't know how many times I wanted to tell IMM to raise my salary like other and then I'd be happy. LOL!! but I knew it was a losing battle. LOL!!!!
1 person likes this
29 Feb 08
these are very nice vinodh