So you think I'm racist? ....lol....

Cece and Kevin - daughter and husband
United States
February 29, 2008 12:41pm CST
I'm feeling like I have to explain myself here.. I read an article about the rate of white people adopting african american babies. I live in a middle/lower class community where I have personally seen a lot of white parents and black children...mostly middle schoolers. A day doesn't go by that one of these kids doesn't get the sh** beat out of him/her or even worse and why? Because they are Bi racial. I really don't care who adopts what but at least think about the impact it will have on these kids. The world is far from a perfect place. Yes, it's 2008 and we should all be tolerant and all that crap but wake up....we're not!!! My father never worked for a white man in his life and my extended family were blacks. I never had a bad thought about a black person in my life and grew my kids up the same way. My daughter is married to a black man who I love and respect dearly and they have a great marriage. Me racist...no...you just read my discussion all wrong!!!
10 people like this
18 responses
@jhl930 (3605)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Well it doesn't really sound to me like you are racist or anything like that it sounds to me like you just got misunderstood or something like that...but everyone takes everything in different ways so you really have to watch what you say around anyone now...and just cover your backside when you do say something that oculd be considered racist or something like that even if youdidn't mean for it to be that way...
• United States
1 Mar 08
For starters so what if I was a racist? There are plenty of them on mylot and in the world. It would be my personal choice right? And then I should know enough to stay away from topics like this which I usually do because of this very reason. People start name calling like the children that they are.
1 person likes this
• China
1 Mar 08
Ah...I did not read that post you refered to so far. Thus I do not know how's that happen. But this post do remind me of what my writing teacher told me before. If something in your writting can be misunderstood, it will be misunderstood! It really sucks when this happens. People tend to think in their own way. Living in a country where discrimination on race is not a very sentitive issue, I can not quite get that idea. I am a yellow myself. I just...like everyone who is kind to me. Be joyful!
• United States
1 Mar 08
Even at the beginning of this thread, she *assumes* that *all* white parents who have adopted black children *beat the feces* (slightly edited phraseology) out of their child on a daily basis. Well, more to the point, I guess she says the black children adopted by white people get the feces beat out of them on a daily basis -- and presumes that that this doesn't happen in black families. She makes wholesale assumptions based on the race of people involved without leaving any allowance for a person's individuality. You don't have *any* problems with that? Really?
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
1 Mar 08
After reading your last discussion I start thinking that you are black and you think that black people should stay in Getto and white people are all racist and they are not good enough for black kids and community. i think that keeping black people separate is totally wrong and we should stop that Getto ideas right there. As far as Obama, I like him very much and I said it many times. What's wrong with white female to vote for black president? I think that all people get last discussion as offensive at some point, "majority as racist" is wrong and I wish to know were you get this from. I don't think you are racist, but at some point your statement was wrong, shocking and offensive for majority who never feel like racists... We have to stop referring to people as black and white. It is all about attitude, good and bad people, not black and white... As far as kids dealing with other kids, white are picking on white kids same way...disable kids are under attack as well... When I was small growing up in 100% white community, I was under other kids bully, because my family was poor... It has nothing to do with skin color.... I am honest when I think and when I write....
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 08
Thinking that the world will ever change it's thinking as far as blacks, whites, asians, spanish or any other race is a pipe dream. I personally...and I'm saying IN MY OPINION it's never going to happen.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 08
Cntry, Obama proves that change has happened. Really, there used to be Slavery and Jim Crow laws. Now we can at least entertain the notion of a President with some minority blood in him. That's change, isn't it?
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
1 Mar 08
It all depends on people. I noticed that people in bigger city are more open and more tolerate, but again this is my opinion. All whites I know in city of Chicago is going to vote for Obama. I truly believe that world is changing and I am always on optimistic site with human race.
@raychill (6530)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Well, as I wrote in that discussion, what you said SOUNDED racist. Nobody was saying that you were rascist, they were saying that what you said sounded racist ... and there is a difference. I have to say that I think kids who are a mixture of white and black...are some of the most beautiful children ever.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 08
I totally agree that kids who are both black and white are some of the most beautiful I've ever seen. Too bad their beauty didn't count for something in the school yards.
2 people like this
@raychill (6530)
• United States
1 Mar 08
THat's sad that it's like that where you are. Where I grew up mixed children never had any problems. My mom works in a school that has lots of violence and it's not racial. So I hope you not that it doesn't happen everywhere.
1 person likes this
• Australia
1 Mar 08
Ctry, where the heck did you grow up? I could only assume that ctry stand for country. I grew up in Brooklyn and it didn't matter what nationality you were, you got picked on no matter what. I think you are seeing only what you want to see and not what's really going on. I mean the only thing you most likely saw was a hick shooting contest....LMBO!!!
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Oh I knew this was coming after you opened that last post..Haha...No I do not think you are a racist,it is true what you said,no need to explain ctry....You always have this thing about thinking you said something wrong...If the truth be known we might be shocked to find out we might have a lot of us that have a little black in us....I never took your discussion as you being a racist..Relax ctry...
2 people like this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
1 Mar 08
I have to say this ctry,when you even meation anything that has to do with race,it will cause a big uproar,as you found out..I went back and read what you wrote in your first discussion...They really jumped your Bu##, and i am sorry about that..I have a very good black friend and i like her a lot,and i know her daughter and really her entire family...I had 5 children and if i were to adopt which i wouldn't i would probably adopt a white child since i am white...You said before that your daughter i believe was having some problems with her husband,i did not know he was black at the time..I see a small problem when you marry into another race,not because of their color but because of culture, more than the race issue...Different cultures have different idea's, its sorta like religion...it can cause a few problems in that way,i have seen that happen many times..A person cannot change who they are, rather they be black or white,that was a choice none of us made..I have friends of different races,i have one friend that we have been friends to for years, since we were 18 years old and she is mexican,but i do not like mexican men and she don't either,however now since she is older has hooked up with a mexican man of her own race,and she has found by being married to an Italian man and now this mexican man they have such different views,different culcures,and we have discussed this many times....I am married to a white man but he is a big racist which i think is (stupid) but hes that way....Sometimes i wish we were all one color so all these stupid issues would not be here,i could care less what race we were but as long as we were just one race of people we could not call the kettle black,we would all be one race,but thats not how it is in the real world..Sometimes out private thoughts are best unspoken..I am sorry you were so misunderstood...
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 08
lol...it's funny but the husband my daughter had the problem with was white! She ended up divorcing him and now's she's happier than ever with her new husband....who is black and is a much nicer guy.
@elemental69 (1562)
• Ireland
29 Feb 08
I have read and responded to your last discussion on white couples and adoption of african american babies, and I would like to point out that in no way did it read to me that you were a racist lol..... Dont worry ctry, there are a lot of people who respond first and read later..... :-) And it is laughable to a certain extent. :-)
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 08
lol....after the fact I did laugh at a lot of the responses. There are a lot of people who haven't seen what I have seen so they tend to look at the world through rose colored glasses don't they?
• United States
1 Mar 08
Ctry, Don't you think that's a bit of an insult? People who don't see the issue the way you do are looking at the world with 'rose colored glasses?' To me, that seems superior and dismissive of other people's perceptions. If you say 'white people shouldn't adopt black babies' it is the race white/black which decides if it is ok or not okay to adopt a baby. Other considerations like.. are they loving parents? Do they dearly wish for a child? Are they committed to the child's welfare? These are completely removed from your equation -- which only chooses to look at the skin color of the people. To me, that is a myopia. I tend to call that racist because the race of the individuals is all that seems to matter.
3 people like this
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
1 Mar 08
We see the world through rose colored glasses because we don't all live in an area where bi-racial kids get the crap beat out of them?
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Feb 08
It's ok, I was called a racist because I said the white house wasn't ready for a president who could possibly bust into rap during his state of the union address. I was simply making light of the fact that there are still plenty of people who will not vote for him because of the color of his skin. It didn't matter that I said I wouldn't vote for Hillary either, that just made me a sexist. So I am a sexist racist and I approve this discussion :)
• United States
1 Mar 08
It's funny that when a controversial discussion is made people you never heard of start responding. I don't know if you found that to be true in your discussions but it certainly was true in mine. I really messed up with this since I try to stay away from discussions like this.
• United States
1 Mar 08
Oh honey, I started a discussion about abortion, religion, and politics, all in one discussion and I got people from everywhere flocking to it to give me their opinions. But all in all everyone was pretty respectful but I commented on a couple discussions others posted about those same topics and it never ever failed....people would come out of the woodwork to respond to me and my comment and tell me what a racist, or every other thing under the sun they could think of calling me because they didn't get what I was saying. But it's okay. That whole freedom of speech thing allows them the ability to do that so I take pretty much all negativity with a grain of salt.
• Australia
1 Mar 08
That's a bunch of bull. The majority of my white friends are hoping that he gets picked to be president. I hope he gets picked, although I try to stay nuetral in political matters. However, he seems like he would be an awesome president. I think the more I read these comments, I think you all are a bit prejudice and it's not the other way around....
@pergammano (7755)
• Canada
29 Feb 08
This is so typical, isn't it! I re-read post, nothing racist there to me, it must be all that reading between the lines! This is the kind of thing that causes misguided dissention! I do not see any hidden meanings!
• United States
1 Mar 08
People tend to read between the lines and put words in our mouths and that's how so many misunderstandings happen around here. I find it best to steer away from such controversial subjects and really messed up with this one. I actually thought I could give my opinion and get away with it...how stupid of me!
• United States
2 Mar 08
I think it is great that they are placing children in loving homes rather than wait for the proper race match adoption. I know we are in a imperfect world but it is getting better.Not only are there are white parents of black kids but there are more bi racial kids, their have parents who are of different races. So b=pretty soon, all the bully racists that want to fight these kids will be outnumbered.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
3 Mar 08
True, there was an article called, "The Browning of America," that basically says the dominate race/color will be mixed/brown and not that far into the future.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
3 Mar 08
Hi ctrymuziklvr, I don't think that you are racist, I understood all along that your concern was for the children. I may be expecting too much when I say the situation is getting better. You see what is happening, and I only hear about it. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
1 Mar 08
You may be regretting the way you worded it, but I did not read it wrong at all. I am sorry that you live in an area filled with so much ignorance. Fortunately, I chose to raise my children in a more tolerant society. Since you feel so strongly about how bi-racial children are treated are you going to encourage your daughter and her husband to not have children?
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Ok, first I must say I've been off line most of the day having not gotten to bed until 5:30 a.m. this morning so am now catching up with my email and myLot discussions. I am working backwards :) Meaning, I opened this email first and had no idea on earth what you were talking about :) Talk about messing with the old ladies head - I was like, "what on earth did I miss?".... I did go to your profile however and found the 'other' discussion that obviously prompted this one.... No, I do not think you are a racist, I also do not think I am but also know we do live in a racist world - and it's not just 'whites'... My opinion is no matter what our skin color or heratige we were all created the same way (well for the most part, there are those new fangeled ways of getting babies these days) and we are from the same blood someplace in history... That said, I will now go respond to the 'other' discussion.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Feb 08
We live in a society of RACIAL INSTIGATORS. You know who they are. Those people who are always looking for ways to misinterpret what you say and then turn it into a racial comment. The media does it all the time, especially to the Clintons. It is really hard to have a debate with Obama for Clinton because anything she says, she has to think through it so that the media might not twist her words and turn it into a racist comment. For instance, Clinton declared that Obama's plan for Iraq was a fairy tale, meaning that Obama cannot make it happen. However, the media and the Obama campaign were successfully able to twist his words and turn it into a statement that Bill Clinton never said which is Obama running for president is a fairy tale. It is always like that in our society. Sometimes, you just have to ignore those types of people. -Feel Free to Disagree!
• United States
1 Mar 08
nicely said! Most of the time I do ignore people...it's easy. Just log off and get busy with something else. It all goes away. I started this particular discussion only to make myself feel better about being called a racist and no other reason.
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
3 Mar 08
I read it as a person who is/was concerned. But this society finds someone to beat the daylights out of anyway. My family is white, Catholic, and French. We grew up in a white, Catholic, French town - the town has a French name and was started by French people. At school, during religious study time, one or two kids (protestants) were left in class while we walked from school to a religious study center for 45 minutes once a week. My family got beaten up all the time because we're disabled. We have disabilities. Many people where I live have pulled their kids out of schools because the schools won't insure their safety, and they don't like what their kids are learning. So if you go by that, no kid could be adopted, why? Because adoption is a difference and people where I live find a reason to beat people up. Anything different is a reason. Of course, if you find a baby that looks like you and you don't tell anyone, then that's one less problem. But not necessarily. Most families have enemies up here (think Hatfields and McCoys), so you still get beaten up. Maybe we should address why people feel they need to beat people up physically and emotionally in schools instead of us all being a bunch of carbon copies?
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
1 Mar 08
I read your article and just now re-read it. I don't think you are racist but the same thing grabbed me this time as it did the first time. It was the assumption that a MAJORITY of white people are racist. While that may be true in your parts...it is far from it where I am at. We have quite an array of colors in my area and mixed marriages and children either adopted or born into these marriages. I have not even once heard of a beating or taunting to one of these kids for such reasons. My daughter is in 8th grade and several of her friends are of mixed races...they are very popular and well adjusted kids. So my point is words like MAJORITY...Doesnt stand a chance...things like that are maybe what is causing people to react. At least that is what did it for me.
• Australia
1 Mar 08
LOL...I must have missed the dicussion that led to this one... Ok, so, I can see where you are coming from. I don't feel like you're a racist. However, I feel that if they are not adopted by white people, they will probably be put in an orphage run by them and so, they would still be in danger (if your theory that that's why they are being beaten up on is correct that is). Besides that, that's no way for a kid to grow up. I think these kids would rather be with a loving family, rather than without one. No matter what their skin color is. Besides that, I think that by only allowing black children to be adopted by black families, is taking a step backward, rather than forward. What message are we sending out to the world and to future generations? Continue the segragation and continue seperating races and be in fear of those of less intelligance? At some point, it has got to stop! We would just be giving into racial hate, in my opinion. Black people are always talking about how they want to be considered equal, yet they are always stirring up the old arguments that have been going on for centuries. They consider the littlest thing racist these days. Don't get me wrong, I am not prejudice. In fact, my husband has a black aunt, who I adore. His cousin's are bi racial and I really like them a lot. We are all pretty good friends. I just think think that this all needs to stop and we need to get over it and move forward....
@dtroas (481)
• United States
29 Feb 08
I think it has to do with the way that people are raised. With it being 2008 it is sad that there is still alot of people that puts there head down to the color of someones skin. I have a mixture in my family we have Whites, Blacks, Mexicans.. LOVE them all. Every race has good and it's bad. I did not read where you showed any signs of racist...
• United States
1 Mar 08
No one likes to be called racist.. nor to be told that they hold a racist option. However, it is a racist opinion if race is the only issue that seems to matter. In the issue of who is ok to raise a child, you allow only for the condition of race of parents and race of child to be important. That's a racist opinion. Imagine that I'm Ted Johnson. I have a daughter, Betty Lou. Jimjobob is seen flirting with my daughter and I tell him to 'git himself on home to his mother.' If Jordan, who is African American, hits on my daughter and I threaten the n-word boy with violence if I ever catch him hitting on my Betty Lou again, my position is racist. The difference in how postulate Ted responds to Jimjobob and Jordan is different only because of the race of the kid. Oh, Ted might come up with all sorts of 'reasons' if pressed on the issue. He might claim not to want the social stigma on his family. He might think that bi-racial kids are 'race mixing' and feel that this is bad for bloodlines. He might think that he doesn't want his kids to have a chance of inheriting sickle cell anemia from some African American father. He can come up with all sorts of reasons, but if the core is the color of a persons skin, then Ted, in my story, is expressing racism. If a guy writes in a newspaper column that people with one skin color can use the n-word without making him 'afraid' so it's ok -- but if people of a different skin color use the word it makes him 'afraid.' The difference between it being ok, or not being ok, is entirely predicated on the race of the person using the world. That is a racist distinction by its very nature. Some people might 'understand' and accept this argument more easily than others. But if the only thing which changes what is ok and what is not ok is race, then it is a racist opinion. I don't think that Cntry's "area" is so drastically different from anyone else's area. I think Cntry sees what Cntry is prepared to see. No, it is possible that in some down south sort of places that racism is more rife and contentious. I'm also thinking a bit about the Jenna Six and their town at the moment. But, Cntry insists on her view -- that white people shouldn't adopt black babies -- even when presented with people who claim to live in areas that don't share Cntry's perceived violence against black kids raised by white adoptive parents. Right there, we would expect Cntry's opinion to shift. To understand that some areas of the country might be perfectly fine. ---- But I guess tolerance is a very good thing to keep in mind. A person doesn't get anywhere just making people feel insulted and picked upon. More to the point, I can set aside any worries about 'racist' opinions because Cntry doesn't seem to be really considering the issue from my vantage point. I do not believe, even in your area, that black children raised by white adoptive parents in your area get violently beat up every day. That could not persist for long. Their parents would have to move, if only for the safety of the child. It does not seem feasible to me. Therefor, I have to feel that you are probable exaggerating. An African American child raised by a white couple is not bi-racial. This is a bit of a Freudian slip, perhaps. The child's race is pure. Being raised by a white family does not change their genetics. Are there considerations for the children? Perhaps, the issue of what color an African American's parents are might come up. But, why is that important? My wife has a slight physical impairment. She has a minor handicap. It can be seen by looking at her when she walks, because she walks a little differently than other mothers. Does this mean that I should not have had a child because she might be teased on account of her mother? My daughter has loving parents and that is far more important than if every child in her school is going to like her mother. The important point when talking about adopting a child, any child, is 'does their quality of life improve?' If they go from having no parents and being a ward of the state, does their condition improve by being adopted by loving parents? Is this more important than any potential dislike fellow students might have over the color of their parent's skin? Why can't a child just be taught to say, "I could have no parents and live in an orphanage or white parents. If you had to make that choice, I'm certain you'd choose the white folks. You have never been an ward of the state." Now, here's the odd little part that comes up. "It is 2008 and we should all be tolerant." This is being said by a person who is busy being intolerant. She has wholesale judged the quality of parents based on their skin color. Showing intolerance and is.. complaining that people need to extend more tolerance to her. I am not being intolerant. I am not agreeing with your position and I have reason why. You've expressed bad thoughts about white people raising a black child. (I think you are assuming racists must always be prejudiced against black people. It is possible to be prejudiced against white people. In this instance, you seem to feel that white people aren't suitable parents of a black child based on their race, which is prejudiced. Saying you don't have bad feelings about black people is -- not relevant.) I am trying to express to you that I feel you are being intolerant of white parents who adopt black children. That you are criticizing them solely based on their skin color. I'm expressing that it is 2008 and that you should be more tolerant. .... In closing, your last sentence is also .. intriguing. If it is wrong for white people to adopt black children because the kids will be teased or beaten for being bi-cultural, I have to wonder about other feelings you must have but haven't reflected on publicly. Any child of your presumably white daughter and African American son in law (whom you claim to love) would also go through a nearly identical situation. Except, in this case, they really are 'bi-racial' as well as 'bi-cultural.' You feel so strongly about the adoption issue, how is it possible for your feelings to be different on the bi-racial issue? I guess, in part, I'm afraid that you need to accept mixed households because if you have a grandchild they will be a part of a mixed household. So, I have this worry in the back of my head. I guess I am partially making an argument for the sake of your grandchild. See, I love children and dearly want them to have the best possible childhood. And, I can't help but think that a grandmother who doesn't approve of bi-cultural and bi-racial households might -- perhaps inadvertently -- cause pain to their grandchild. I'm kind of an advocate of children. So, I want to stand up for them. And, if I state my position strongly, its only because if I can't express this to you in the short space of time I have to speak with you, then I probably won't have another opportunity. I don't have to know this possible future grandchild to be willing to spend some effort being concerned for them.
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
1 Mar 08
I never got that impression from your discussion ata ll, ctry. I think that race is given much to much emphasis in a time when people are supposed to be more enlightened. I've seen it all over the years, and the bigots are easy to spot. We should all be working toward making the world a place free from racial bias. Heck, there are a lot of black people that I don't particularly like, but race has nothing to do with it. People are just people no matter what color skin they happen to be wrapped in.