old people

@Hatley (164507)
Garden Grove, California
February 29, 2008 11:15pm CST
Why do so many people even use derogatory terms to define us elderly or senior citizens or old fogeys? I mean nobody stays twenty forever and now that many of us are living longer and healthier lives we do not necessarily look like old crones or old fogeys but healthy older people. we are not all senile or stupid or abusing the system as one poster put it. some of us work well into our seventies and eighties and are intelligent maybe even likeable people.Why in some countries, not here, we are even respected because of our age even our wrinkles are respected, but not here.Here evidently being eighty is seen as more of a crime. as if why is not she dead already? I get teed off when younger people are waited on and the clerk cannot see me at all. old people sometimes become invisible I guess.
5 people like this
15 responses
• Singapore
1 Mar 08
Hi again Patsie, May I ask how one should refer to you then? Before you get me wrong, I can understand how you feel because I am in your shoes in the other end of the spectrum. My age is no secret since anyone looking at my profile page can see it. In real life, I still get people calling me "boy" or "kid" sometimes. It could be in English or another language or dialect. And, I know some "old" people like to call "us" "sonny". If "elderly" and "senior citizens" sound derogatory, sonny sure cut it.:P Personally, I think it matters more how the term is used. Oh btw, "old fogeys" certainly sounds rude. If when we say "elderly" and "senior citizens", we don't mean it in any negative ways, why should one be bothered? I think the key is to remain nonchalant. I used to bristle when someone addressed me using one of the kiddish terms. I am not even asking any to Sir me or what but I would have appreciated if you give me some respect. Simple respect. For me, I don't go around yelling at kids younger than me and "boy" or "kid" them too. When you give others respect, you are worth respecting yourself. In the online world, we only have words to express ourselves and that is quite a handicap. In the real world, I would accomplish my words with body language - smile and all. I may address someone using their first name if I know that person personally or just "Uncle" or "Auntie" or a simple hello. Just to add, when one talks about the elderly, one is usually referring to the group of "aged ones" who are unable to take care of themselves. If one is still working or actively contributing, I hardly think one would be included in this category. I quote, "It is not what is said, but how it is said."
2 people like this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Mar 08
Hi what you said is so true. I love being called a senior citizen as it implies I am just getting on in years not becoming senile.and how one says something is really what its all about. My husband used to say , kidding and trying to get my dander, hey old woman looks like a great day. He was six years older then me and sometimes to get back at him. all in fun. hey old fogey lets go for a walk. as for being handicapped I still worked brace on my leg and all up to two years ago. I had such a wonderful group of people with whom I worked and age there was no big deal. we all respected each other and had such fun. I do miss all that and am seriously thinking of becoming a volunteer there.
2 people like this
• Singapore
2 Mar 08
Yup yup, how you say something really matters. Take another example - 2 lovers in a relationship. They can call each other retards or morons and a 3rd party may scratch his head - but to them, they may be the sweetest words and mean the sweetest things.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Mar 08
you have got it in a nutshell anyone listening tome when my husband was alive would have thought me mean but I had love in every syllable when I called him idjut and he knew it too.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26553)
• India
1 Mar 08
It is the ignorance that is the root cause.The notion that old people are less active and good only at advising has stuck badly in the young minds.They live for today without thinking or caring what is happening around them.A little arrogant of course because of the adrenalin rush of their age.It takes time and mind to stop ,think and savor the good things of experience and wisdom.So9me learn and some never learn.Every one will have his day to repent or rejoice in their life time for sure.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Mar 08
You have put it in a nutshell. Ignorance is what drives so many to make fun of the older people. people who are handicapped, people whose skin is a different color. anyone who is somehow different from the mainstream. I know when I was young I never thought of the possility that one day I will be old and have wrinkles. and health problems until my grandpa came to live with us. I learnedthat an old person had so much to give and I learned to respect older people he was such a gentle person even the butterflies were not afraid of him they would land on his shoulder.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26553)
• India
2 Mar 08
Yes I can always see the wisdom and tolerance in their eyes.Only age can bring such beauty to a face.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Mar 08
Thanks you are so right.
• Philippines
1 Mar 08
I live in the Philippines and I am proud to say that here in our country we respect the elders. We respect our parents and grandparents..even older people we know not of..We don't just put our parents or grandparents on home for the aged to get rid of our obligations. We take care of them as they did us. We do not argue with their age. Elders are more wiser than the young ones...They have been there..done that..They know much than us young people. Some countries particularly I have seen from America kids talk back to their parents and they put the elders in nursing homes because they're sick and tired of taking care of them. It's because I think in America the kids can sue you if you hurt them even pinch or spank them I guess.. Kids needs discipline while they are young..spanking a kid is not hurting them but showing them that it hurts to be punished so they shouldn't do that again. Sometimes when I hear american kids talk back at their parents I want to put a soap in their mouth so they will have their mouths cleaned off the filthy words they lash out at their parents.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Mar 08
I had read that in the philipines treated thier elders with much respect. that is so refreshing. I know what you mean about some kids talingback really nastily to their parents. If I had done that my dad would have thrown me across the room. My parents taugh respect to all. and I have tried to practice that myself.
@barehugs (8986)
• Canada
1 Mar 08
We toured East Asia last winter, and after about 2 days I asked our Guide where the Seniors were. The answer was "they don't live that long." In Vietnam, health care in minimal and I was told by our tour guide that if you get sick in Vietnam don't go near a Hospital.Its a place to go if you want to die! Health care is free for Government Workers but few use it. The moral of this story is, "There's nothing so Bad that it couldn't get Worse," or "Be Thankful for what we have!" (scary isn't it?)
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Mar 08
Oh my goodness how isolated we have become. Never realized how much I have to be thankful for. And I am so very thankful to be alive and live in the United states where we have so much going for us and thankful that I found Mylot I enjoy posting and commenting and reading what others have to say.
1 person likes this
@susu22 (25)
• United States
1 Mar 08
i am very sorry this has happened to you.i do not like the way seniors are treated by the younger generation today.some of them are so disrespctful.i have heard seniors called old grandma,that old grandpa,that old fart,that old fogy,old hag .i am sick of it and when i hear that kind of talk in front of me about seniors i speak my mind.people have not been taught by their parents when younger and run around with the wrong people who use such terms.i do not allow my family to treat seniors with disrepect in any way.people ao all ages who talk bad about seniors and call them names have no class,and are not skilled in proper manners.i am sure this hurts you and someone ,you or your friends need to take a stand and say,excuse me but my name is and that is what i like to be called.if the person who is treating you with disrespect does not stop then stay away if they do not care how you feel.you are aperson too.susu22
2 people like this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Mar 08
thanks for your thoughtful post. You are right we should kindly advise anyone who uses a derogatory term at us that you want to talk to me you call me Mrs. Hatley.
1 person likes this
@quawertz (781)
• Philippines
1 Mar 08
I guess these people doesn't have respect for themselves. I get very irritated when a younger person begins insulting an older one because of her/his slow movement and what not. One time when I am on a line for an ATM machine and the person in front of me is laughing and making an insult smile when an old man is so slow withdrawing his money. I was like very irritated with this woman. She didn't even bother to help the old man and she was like insulting him. I wanted to tell her that in no time she will get old like that and younger people will do that to her too.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Mar 08
you made me think. yes I think that is it. they do not respect themselves so how can they respect others. like my husband always told me love yourself because if you do not how can you know how to love others. not in a conceited sense but in having respect for yourself,knowing you are somebody, you are unique and one of a kind for God made you and he didnt make bad things.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 08
I've always admire the elderlies. I was taught to respect all my elders and look up to them. The elders know things we don't know. They've seen things, we've never seen. They were the ones who paved the roads for us. I don't understand why people would degrade anyone all together. I am disabled and I can really relate to derogatory terms that you are refering to. When I was attending high school, no one cared to learn my name. They just call me "the girl in the wheelchair" or "crippled girl" or "handicapped girl." I've since learned to ignore these ignorant people. They are the very ones who are uncomfortable with themselves. Someday, they too will become old or worst yet, get into an accident and become "the handicapped girl/guy." What goes around, comes around.....
2 people like this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Mar 08
I am sorry for you it just is so wrong for people to stereotype a handicapped person. that person is still a person irregardless of her handicap and should be respected and treated as if she had no handicapp. they tend to see the handicap and forget the person who has it. You are so right they are uncomfortable with themselves. I wasalways so ashamed of my father as he would cross the street rather than walk next to someone who was crippled. and he was the town doctor who should have had compassion and respect for all handicapped. thanks so muchl
1 person likes this
@chrissieatu (1033)
• China
1 Mar 08
I do not understand why people treat senior citizens in those ways. I personally like them and respect them. In my opinion, they are very kind and are willing to share. And of course, they made a great contribution to the society. I think the reason why some being not kind to senior citizens is the problem of their value and belief. They choose to act in that way which is something we can not control. Anyway, I still love the elderly ones and they are really kind to me. Be joyful~
2 people like this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Mar 08
I am joyful as I post here because I have found that mylotters are a grand bunch of people. thoughtful. kind , compassionate and I have caught the mylot addiction. as one poster put it old people write a lot and talk a lot well maybe so perhaps because we have so much time on our hands as we have retired from the everyday ratrace and find ourselves without a real purpose so we strive to find one.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 08
I think our children (in general) are taught disrespect on so many levels for almost all adults. So many movies and tv shows for kids portray the elderly as stupid, weak, behind-the-times, etc. They also think they know everything and have all of the answers and think older people have no idea what it's all about...they don't realize that being older simply means one has been there and done all of that. On a funny note: I realized about a year ago that all of sudden the people in the denture commercials didn't look as old as they used to. It took me about a month to figure out people aren't losing their teeth at a younger age...it's simply that I am getting older!
2 people like this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Mar 08
I agree with you that people often get their viewpoints from movies portraying older people as stupid, weak. out of it. But I also know that old age sort of creeps up on us when we are lest expecting it. Like the print in the phone book used to be readable and now my goodness they are making it smaller and smaller then you realize oh my I need to get my glasses changed.
1 person likes this
@rockvixen (894)
• United States
1 Mar 08
I've always been taught to respect my elders. I do and always will. I think this new generation is a bit more disrespectful with the issue. My nephew who is 13, calls me and my husband OLD, we are 29 and 30, that's not OLD. But it hurts and it's disrespectful. My granfather worked until he was 74 then he retired, my mother is almost 64 and she is STILL working, I think that's not only great, but amazing. There are many healthy older folks out there and I admire them so much for living so long and doing things they enjoy. Kudos to all old people for being able to still enjoy life to the fullest. I'm glad you shared this discussion.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (49876)
• United States
1 Mar 08
It is only on occasion I actually see an older person being disrespected. I believe this is so because I don't hang around the people or places that something like that would occur. It burns me when an older person is pushed aside or even referred to as 'old lady' or 'old man'. The skin is what is different than 30 years ago, not the inside. Inside the person has only become more interesting and capable. We suffer when we do not use one of our greatest resources, the elderly. A problem that I see is that on TV and in movies, elderly people are often joked about and made fun of. If it gets a laugh, then TV and the movies will do it. I think this desensitizes people and we end up with the disrespect we have today.
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Mar 08
thanks for your compassionate post. yes the movies do sort of make fun of anybody who cannot really fight back. People do get desensitized and think its okay to make fun of an elderly person. I remember a young guy in a bright red convertible who yelled at me old lady cant you move a little faster.I wanted to yell young man cant you wait for a green light a light slower . I had the right of way and he wanted to pull through anyway yellow light and all. later i saw him run a red light and get stopped by the police. so justice sometimes is served.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Mar 08
Thats why there called punks,kids,young whiper-snappers and the like by OLD people!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Mar 08
I myself have never used those terms as most young people i have met have really been rather nice people and anyway I would never use those terms as most people who have been disrespectful to me were more into their forties or even fifties I think some of that comes from their own fear of themselves growing old.
• United States
23 Mar 08
Yeah I get upset when I see someone disrespecting a senior citizen, when I grew up; If we disrespected an elder, we would get our butts whooped. I learned to even call them either Sir, M'am (Some do not like this), Mother, Father, Mr., or Ms/Mrs.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Mar 08
My parents also taught me to be respectful to older people and to use sir or maam.
@yannycui (377)
• China
4 Mar 08
Although,I am at my thirties, I do ever think I am old. I laugh like kids, play with kids, dance with kids and sing with kids. I like kids' book and movie. Senior people may not old in heart. As long as you love the world and enjoy it with a kid-heart, you are still young even wrinkles is full of your cheek. You never grow old.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Mar 08
you are so right. age is just a number really we are as old as we feel and if youlove the world and keep youth in your mind you will never really get old.
@metschica25 (5407)
• United States
15 Jul 08
There are many rude people out there that were not taugh respect . That is the way I see it . Some people are just so rude and it is with all sorts , and kinds of people . I know many kids dont know any better , and will claim you are old when you infact are young . My fiance and me are old to my little cousin who is 10 and we are almost 30 . There are many people at any age who may seem to be all the things you listed . What is that saying you are only as old as you feel .