Do you think i am a fool??????????

March 1, 2008 3:07pm CST
I have a daughter and I am no longer with her farther, we have both moved on and now have no relationships and we all get on well for my daughters sake, however today I recived a phone call from my daughters dad as she had stayed with him for the night but decided to be really naughty and kick off. Once I had managed to sort that issue out i recived yet another phone call from her dad to say that he needed to drop her off as his girlfriend had walked out as she could not cope with my little girl anymore (my little girl is normally very good but like all children she has her moments). Once the situation between her dad and girlfriend was sorted out I made my little girl by her some flowers to apolagise as I know it cant be easy sometimes to take on another persons child, however my current partner thinks this was wrong and I would just like to know what you think?????????
4 people like this
10 responses
@Chey1970 (1193)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Hello Shelley! I don't think you are a fool. To me it seems you are trying to teach your daughter manners and rescpet no matter who the other party was. That is admirable of you. However buying the woman flowers (not knowing the amount spent). Might have been a little much. You could have simple had your daughter apologize to the lady. And it should have sufficed, if the other lady was any kind of woman.
1 person likes this
@trinale (1480)
• United States
2 Mar 08
Wow that's a tough situation. Hard to call without knowing all the details. I would say that if your daugther was disrespectful, she should apologize (with or without flowers) but I think it's up to her father to work out issues between his daugther and girlfriend.
@gemini_rose (16194)
2 Mar 08
This is hard, because I know how horrible kids can be. My eldest is not my husbands son, and boy has he shown his disapproval and made our lives hard over the years! He is 16 now and I think I can say he is only just starting to bond with my husband, too be honest with you I am surprised my husband did not walk a long time ago. But he didnt he stuck with it and came through in my opinion with flying colours. If it was me on the other hand I may have walked out either in temper or permanently, dont get me wrong I would try to understand but I may have just got to the point where enough was enough. So I would say that ok yes it may have been wrong for her to walk out but on the other hand maybe she had just got to her tolerance level and felt that it was better at that moment to just walk away. I think taking on someone elses child is the biggest and most hardest thing anyone could do and I give them all credit.
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
2 Mar 08
I too think that having your daughter give the GF flowers was a little much. she should have apologized. What is wrong with the father that he couldn't handle your daughter. Is he expecting to never have to correct his daughter? he was wrong to bring her home before she was supposed to. He should be spending the time with your daughter with out the GF. he should maybe have the Gf around for short periods for some time until your daughter adjusts to her being there. In fact I don't think the GF should be there at all when your daughter is.
• Atlantic City, New Jersey
2 Mar 08
I think that was REALLY big of you to handle this situation in the manner you did. I think you taught your daughter a valuable lesson about apologies and how to give them when that are warrented no matter who the person may be! I applaud you for your actions- as I have been the women in the man's life with his children and thier mother DID NOTHING to make it easy for me! It's women like you who continue to make the "good" world go round :) Good day to you Shelley :)
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Mar 08
I think you are very compassionate and intelligent. It must be hard for her to take on someone else's child andof course it must be hard for your little girl also. I think you are showing your little girl that we all must make some leeway for other people in spite of what we may feel about them. I only hope that your ex's girlfriend tries to also give your little girl some leeway as it cannot be easy to share her dad with someone not her mom and as an adult this girlfriend has to give her some room.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
2 Mar 08
No. You are not wrong at all. You taught your little girl a valuable lesson and you probably made communication between you and the girlfriend much more open and friendly. I think what you did was awesome! My ex dated a woman that used to make my daughter beatiful clothes and take her out to eat etc. I wrote her a thank you note for treating my daughter so well. It isn't easy to take care of someone elses child and I did so appreciate that she included my daughter in their relationship. If my daughter had disrespected this woman or given her a hard time, I'd have done the same as you did.
@youngam86 (151)
• United States
2 Mar 08
What does your partner think is wrong? How old is your daughter? Personally I can't give you insight without all the facts.
@shymurl (2768)
• United States
1 Mar 08
I don't think it was wrong. Your daughter needs to learn to respect other people. i'm sure its tough on her, but she will learn that it was for the best. My kids come first, and if the partner doesn't respect how you deal with your kids, then he doesn't respect you enough.
• United States
1 Mar 08
I think the gf should know and realize what shes getting into and if she cant accept her she cant accept him. It depends what the daughter did though. If she did something extremely rude to her or something then thats understandable. I dont know if she was, but if it was for small things kids do everyday then no. She should understand that she is just a child and the child I dont think realizes sometimes what they are doing. And it is up to the adult to determine that. So in other words the gf should know she is just a child.