What Would You Do?

United States
March 1, 2008 4:38pm CST
Say you been one hundred and ten percent committed to your partner. You have lied, cheated, been honest about everything and open about your feelings. So you have been so good to him/her and one day they come to you and tell you that they have been cheating for the past four weeks. Ok and to top everything you just bought them an engagement ring. (Girls can pop the question to him too) How would you react? Would you take back the ring? Would you stay with that person and try to work past it? or would you just up and leave? I really want to know how would you really react if this was to happen to you. I can't wait to hear how you users would deal with this.
4 people like this
8 responses
• United States
2 Mar 08
Hello NakitaLikely3617! First off I think you meant you haven't lied. Well if I was in a very committed relationship like the one you described then my girlfriend came to me and told me that for the last past four weeks she has been cheating I would be heated. I would ask her what did she say? After she repeated herself I would be calm cool and collective because she would probably expect for me to have some loud out of control reaction. I would deep breathe before I continued. After taking these methods I'd ask her why? Why would she put our relationship on line? Why would she risk loosing someone as good as me? Why, why, why? Yes I would take back the engagement ring after I showed it to her. Yes I would stay with her and try yo work past the situation but if things got to hard to handle I would leave because I did nothing wrong but love and show her the utmost respect and in return for it I am the one who ends up hurt in the end and that is cool at all. Well with that said NakitaLikely3617 DemonteWalker the prettyboy is out!
2 people like this
• United States
2 Mar 08
Well we see that you are a very calm guy. A lot of guys that I know Demonte would have jumped on the girl, beat her up, blacked her eye or something. The way you said you would deal with it is being a man about the situation. I commend you I think that there were alot more cool, calm, collective men in this wolrd then a lot of the jails wouldn't be packed. Well I am running out of words but I would like to thank you for your response on the subject and remain as cool, calm, and collective as you can because violence on a women never solves anything, so with that said prettyboy NakitaLikely3617 is out! Have a good day!
@kitaboo1 (34)
• United States
2 Mar 08
Hello NakitaLikely3617. Well I am new to mylot and I found your discussion very interesting and I just had to have an input on it. Well if I have been committed to a guy, I have loved this same guy, been open and honest about everything. And I haven't cheated on him. I would cry, crying shows that you do really care about them and it hurts that they are putting you through such pain. I wouldn't talk to them for the next week becuase I would seriously have to think about what to do. Seeing that I am madly in love with this person I'd show them the ring and receipt to let them know that one I wanted to take our commitment to another level and two to prove to them that the ring was indeed bought before they decided to brake my heart. I would then try to work things out with my man but take the ring back because his actions just prove that he wasn't really ready for another level of commitment. If things got to hecked and I felt suspicions of him cheating again I'd take my key off of his keychain. let him go off to work, pack his clothes and level them outside on the front line so that he'll know we are done. I played the foul one in the relationship by taking you back but not again. I hope you like what I had to say and good luck if you are really in this situation. No one deserves that treatment!
1 person likes this
@bfarrier1 (2082)
• United States
2 Mar 08
Why would you want to stay with someone that is cheating on you that is clearly telling you that your partner is not happy other wise the cheating would have never happened. Yes you should take the ring back then you should get on with your life without the cheater. Good Luck and have a great day!
• United States
2 Mar 08
Well thank you bfarrier1 for responding to my discussion. I do agree with you about taking the ring back and moving on.
• United States
2 Mar 08
i would cry . yes i would..but why would a guy give you a engagement ring then tell you he's been cheating four the past 4 weeks ? yes i would give him back the ring then never talk to him again...i would yell and tell him that his love is a waste of time..i would go off ! i dont even care..lol
• United States
2 Mar 08
Hey Britt and thanks for replying. You got him the engagement ring becuase you were really ready for committment. I mean have you or do you know of a girl that purposed. A woman that wanted a man to be her wife like New York.
@asgtswife04 (2482)
• United States
2 Mar 08
The ring would go back and I would leave. He didn't really love me if he cheated on me. I would eventually forgive him, as that is the godly thing to do, but there would never be an us anymore. I take relationships very seriously and to love someone, not lust, means giving your whole self to them...not just part of ones self and giving part to someone else to. The word Love is thrown around to much these days. You can't truly love someone and then go an cheat on them, just isn't possible. you may think it's love, but more than likely it was lust and you've had your feel so you gotta go out and get it somewhere else. To truly love, means loving that person through all their faults and flaws and to love them forever for who they are and what they bring into your life. to truly love is to love them unconditionally and giving your whole heart to that person. if you do this, there is no room for cheating or lusting after someone else. i couldn't live with someone or marry someone that only lusted me and cheated on me, no matter how much i forgave them. thanks for posting and God bless
• United States
2 Mar 08
I have been in your shoes. The only difference is that we were already married. I was 100% faithful to my husband. I tried to be the best wife I could be to him. Then one day out of the blue he told me he was leaving me. It was only after some detective work on my part that I found out he had been cheating for about a month with what I thought was a friend at work. (My hubby and I worked at the same place). She was coming over to our house (and possibly tucking our kids into bed) when I was at work trying to earn money to put food on the table for our kids! I was devastated. He ended up moving in with her that night and I moved back to my mom's house. To make a long story short we ended up working things out. We decided we still loved eachother and were going to do what we could to make our marriage work. With all that said, the two of you are not married and that puts a different light on things. I know you are thinking your world is coming down around you right now. Just give it a little time. By no means am I telling you to give up on him or to try to work it out with him. I'm not saying to put your life on hold for him either. Right now you are thinking with your heart and you need to wait til you can think with your head. As time goes on you may realize you want to work it out or you will realize that you are really ok and can move on. I don't believe in the old sayingonce a cheater always a cheater, because I believe ppl can change if they really want to. My situation happened almost 3 years ago and our marriage has never been better. But THEY have to want to change. Something else you have to think about is if you'll be able to get over this if you get back together down the road. It took me a long time to trust him again. Every time he got a phone call I was wondering if it was a female. Every time he was 5 minutes late coming home from work, I wondered if he was with someone else. He quit that job so he was no longer around that woman and I switched jobs, too. Even though he was the one that messed up, it would take a lot of work from both of you to make the relationship work if that was what you chose to do. And statistics show that there is a small percentage it will actually work long term. But it is still possible. There are a lot of things to think about and that is why you need to give it a little bit of time before you amke any decisions either way. As for the ring... I would take it back. Even if you do end up getting back together, you could always buy another one. If you kept that ring there would always be that reminder of the affair. You will never forget about it but it is easier to move on when you don't have any part of it in your life. My heart and prayers are with you! I know it is hard now but i promise it will get easier. good luck in whatever decision you make!
• Philippines
2 Mar 08
I would perhaps have a heart to heart talk with him and each should make a decision as too where the relationship is going. I would not stay in the relationship if he doesn't love me anymore but I would not ask him give me back the ring it is up to him if he would return it to me.
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
2 Mar 08
WEll, I would definitely reconsider the marriage. The relationship does not sound like marriage material at all to me. Did I read your post right? it looks as though you said that you lied,cheated, been honest about everything. Did you lie and cheat also? I'm probably misunderstanding. Anyway if my guy cheated on me, I definitely would hesitate in marrying him. The fact that he told you that he had been and you did not find out on your own is the only part that makes me think that perhaps your relationship could stand a chance. It is hard to say without knowing him.