right age to marry
March 3, 2008 12:20am CST
Hi I'm 23 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now and we are childhood sweethearts. My cousin who is around 25 years old (guy) is marrying her childhood sweetheart in October (they've been together for 9 years before they will get married). During reunions and get togethers, my relatives would ask me when I would marry. And then they'll suggest that in 2 years time maybe I should get married already. And I always say that I would take longer than my cousin. He did it in 9 years, my estimate for my relationship would be at least 11 years before we get married. So that's around 27 or 28 years old. My boyfriend is 2 years older than me so he would be around 29 or 30 years old when we get married. We do talk about getting married and what our target time would be, but we both don't like to marry at an early age. We feel that we still have to earn and save money before we get married. Do you think my target age is too long? What age did you get married? Did you wish you had it earlier or later? Especially if you have been with your boyfriend for a long time already..
16 people like this
3 Mar 08
I married with my husband after we had been together about one year. And now we married 5 years. Our son is 4 years old. When I married I was nearly 25 and my husband nearly 30. And actually we were schoolmate, but we didn't know it before we know each other. It doesn't matter when you need to marry with your boyfriend. And how long need you been together before you marry. Just when both of you want marry, then you do it.
18 Mar 08
I don't think it is a matter of age that should determine when you should get married. It is when you are ready to and when your boyfriend is ready to. Marriage is a big step and shouldn't be taken lightly. Also it depends when the two of you want to start a family, have children. You don't want to be too young when you start to have babies, but you don't want to be too old either, to enjoy them. I was 26 years old when I got married the first time. I think I got married for the wrong reasons and that's why it didn't work out. I got married because we had 2 children by then and it seemed like the thing to do. But one year after we married we broke up. We had lived together for 8 years before we married.
17 Mar 08
I think its the best age 27-28, you have seen life by then and are ready to get in to marriage. I got married when I was 20 and still regret it. I was too young and too adjusting and had an aura of elders being always right. This thought of mine made me suffer a lot of abusive behavior and somehow left me a bitter person. I would suggest you wait till you are mature enough and have seen a bit of life.
11 Mar 08
the right age is when you've met the right person and have the emotional stability and financial resources to get married. that age can be different for different people, depending on their maturity , where they are in life and the financial position. it could be 20 or it could be 50 .
11 Mar 08
I got married at 21 and my hubby was 26, we have been married for 7 years now and are planning to re-new our wedding vows next year on our 8th anniversary. I think the timing for me was just right, I wouldn't want to change it. My friend got married at 19 and they are still going strong!!! I also have another friend who got married at 26, and has now separated from her hubby - she is 28. I don't think age has anything to with when you get married, it is how you communicate with each other that counts.
• United States
11 Mar 08
I don't think your target age is too long. It seems reasonable. It's an age where most people are the most stable in their lives. I've been with my bf for 3 years now, and I love him with all my heart. I do not feel that we are at a point financially where we can get married and live how we'd like to. We're both college students who are working toward graduation and going to grad school. We would both like to at least wait for graduation before taking that step to avoid additional stress. It's just an individual decision.
3 Mar 08
I think you are right! We must have a fundation to get married and for the things will coming after that. We shour earn and save as much money as possible. But I think there is no need waiting the "11" years, just wait for a fittable time I think is all right!
3 Mar 08
I'm also trouble with these problem. I'm 22 years old.And I'm a girl .Since all my elder sisters married in these ages .My mom want me to marry in two years. But I don't want to get married so early .We have talk about this many times. For me , I think I wont listen to them.I think I 'm to young.I love single life .and I don't have a boyfriend now. If I were you having a boyfriend for so long a time.I think I may changge my mind ,get married early
17 Dec 08
If I am in your case, I will get married as soon as possible. Having spend so many years with him, I think you know him better. To you, get married at the early age, you can have more choice, like having baby as soon as you married or not, or move to another city to start your life. If you get married late, there is not so much time left for you to put things down.
22 Mar 08
I think it depends on the people. My maternal grandparents were twenty-three when they married (met when they were twenty), my parents twenty-one (married three months after they met, later divorced), sister nineteen (met husband when she was sixteen and they've been married 10 years) and my husband and I married when I was twenty-five (been married six months, met when I was twenty-two). There is no right or wrong age to marry.
11 Mar 08
I want to start my family at a young age but at an age where I am financially secure and have my schooling completed. I will be done college when I am 21, and we have talked about moving in when I have finished, or when I am twenty, he will be 21. I have been saving money for the last year as I have no real expenses living at home. He already have a full time job and is completing his apprenticeship. He has a secure future already. I want to have kids younger so my body will rebound better, and I will be able to live long to see my grandkids and great grand kids. I want to retire early as well, to experience things like travel. I have a time line.
• United States
11 Mar 08
Hi there. I think you're very smart in waiting to get married! You have just the right goals in mind. Think about it this way, the longer you both wait to get married, the more money you will have saved. I think it's a wonderful idea. You will still be young enough to have and take care of children. You will have more money to provide for them. You will also have more time to get to know your boyfriend better. If it makes you feel any better, I'm 22 and this-coming May, my fiance and I will have been together for 4 years. I don't think it's too long at all, especially when you're going to spend the rest of your life with this person. Don't let other people try to rush you into it. Enjoy it. Savor the time you and your boyfriend have together and enjoy dating life. Now that I'm engaged (as of Valentine's Day!), people tell me to enjoy being engaged instead of rushing to get the wedding planned and getting married real quick. We will have at least a year of engagement. I don't think that's too long either. I wish you and your boyfriend the best. You are a very wise person! Good luck!!
6 Mar 08
Hi st3ph_17, for me there is no right age to marry. Good for you that you and your boyfriend are still together and that is a good start. You said that you do talk about getting married, well, that's good. At least you know that your partner is also intereting with it. And its a good thing that you are thinking for your future. You also mentioned that both of you don't like to marry at early age, if that's what you feel then its ok. As long as both of you are sync with each other. It's right to earn for your future, but don't just focus on earnings and money, sometimes it's the source of a problem. I only got married last October 2006, I was 27 then and my wife is 25. We've been boyfriend and girlfriend for only a year and a half. And we are really happy right now and gonnna be parents soon. Continue to love each other, help each other, understand each other and don't lose communication. Remember that MARRIAGE is a COMMITMENT from you to your partner and vice versa, and BOTH of you to GOD. Seek for GOD's blessings for both of you and your relationship. Gos Bless
5 Mar 08
Hi st3ph_17, I believe that you are being very sensible about this, but I don't really think that there is a right age to marry. It depends on the people involved. You know your circumstances better than anyone, so I believe that you and your boyfriend should make the decision. By the way I married at age 27, and felt that it was the right time for me. Blessings
4 Mar 08
I do not think there is a right numerical age to be married. It really depends on a lot of factors -- if you are emotionally and financially ready and if you are already mature enough. Of course, you should also take into consideration the biological aspect -- older women might have more difficulty with conceiving and bearing children, but that's also relative. I got married at 34. Sometimes I wonder what the situation would be if I had married earlier. But I like to think I made the right decision since my husband and I were already done with our medical training by then.
• United States
4 Mar 08
I got married 6 years ago at the age of 32. It was the perfect time, and I would not change it by one day. But, I happen to be of the life philosophy that any change I made to any part of my life (as if such a thing were possible) would result in me being not me, and I like me. I do think it is a fine idea to have some plans and wishes about major events in your life, as long as you are open to changing those expectations should the situation dictate that you do so. Plans are great, as long as they don't run your life.