Having a capable wife means...?

@youless (87602)
Guangzhou, China
March 3, 2008 9:55am CST
My husband is an IT programmer, so his computer ability is better than me quite a lot. However, sometimes I think he depends on me as I seem to be talented in this aspect. He often asks me to do many things for him. He is lazy because of me in my opinion:) Such as there is a software which can make the smartphone acts like a USB disk. However, it's not easy to make it work. The error is quite strange. Finally my husband needs me to finish it. And this time he used a tender way and he said he believed I could solve the problem. It's a big praise to me:) So at that night finally I figured out what's wrong. I needed to unlock the smartphone so that this software could work well. When I told him I succeeded, he signed:"Blackteeth is so bad at computer..." And he appreciated me a lot at that time:) Blackteeth is the nickname I made for his ex-girlfriend:) So in my opinion, having a capable wife means the husband can be lazy as he can feel confident to deliver many difficult tasks to her:)
4 people like this
20 responses
@academic2 (7011)
• Uganda
3 Mar 08
Hi dear youless, I dont think we men should exploit the expertise of our wives by simply being lazy- but truely, a helping hand from a wife to fix tasks adds a lot of the intrinsic value to relationships in a marriage setting, it strengthens mutual respect, and naturally enhances the deeper affections that could have been eroded by the man's over preoccupation with work singlehandedly. I think, you are conquering your man in and out and he would be a tuely mean man if he didnt love you with the deepest passion in him! I dont want to believe he is being lazy, I want think, the guy is growing very secure in his area of expertise because, you are by his side-The way things look, 'black teeth' has no place in your lives-you have finished her with your talent-just love this guy and help him out, he will love you 100 fold! So I would rather you rephrase your last sentence to re-read:.... having a capable wife means the husband can feel secure and confident to deliver many difficult tasks, and thereby, have a lot of time to love and spend quality with her:) OK? Thanks youless! I have truely enjoyed every bit of this post!
3 people like this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
You draw a very good conclusion. Frankly, I like to read it a lot:)
1 person likes this
@lexus54 (3577)
• Singapore
4 Mar 08
Your husband is fortunate to have a capable wife like you around who can help him out even in his area of expertise. In my home, it is the opposite. My wife is a teacher, and she is very experienced and professional in her area of expertise, but when it comes to things about the house, she is no handyman. Neither is she good with gadgets, working the scanner and tickering with the PC. She is almost totally hands off where money matters are concerned - keeping transaction records, paying and filing bills, doing electronic banking, balancing accounts, etc. She leaves me to do all these, and so when something needs attention around the house, she is very dependent on me. Even though I want to teach her some of these things, she is not keen to learn, probably because I am doing a good job (hehe). So for our case, having a capable husband means that the wife can be lazy as she can feel confident to deliver many difficult tasks to him, to paraphrase your last sentence. :)
2 people like this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
Your wife trusts you so much, so she counts on your to deal with the finance and the home. So that she can focus on her work. In your case, your wife is lucky and smart the find the right man:)
1 person likes this
@lexus54 (3577)
• Singapore
4 Mar 08
Haha...I'm flattered (blush, blush!). That's fine and I am happy to play my part. What I am not that comfortable with is that she is hands-off and doesn't even want to know about these things. If anything should ever happen to me unexpectedly, she will be rather lost I'm afraid, and I wouldn't like that to happen.
2 people like this
• Philippines
4 Mar 08
Thanks youless, I happy to know that you liked my response. You have nice topic that why I responded to it. :)
2 people like this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
I am glad that you like my discussion and thanks for your nice response:)
1 person likes this
• India
4 Mar 08
Haha.. and yup! youless.. you are caught in wrong foot.. Your Husband wants to HONE your skills in the field of software programming...only when you are presented with difficult tasks, you are given more chances to sharpen your skills.. and i fear that you have equated the entire thing to laziness....lol..lol:) Take care friend:)
2 people like this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
I wish I could be the Blackteeth so that I don't want to do so many things for my husband. And I can have a good reason to say sorry I don't know how to use computer:)
1 person likes this
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
4 Mar 08
Gee I can relate to that. My husband is incapable when I am around. He can't do anything and would always con me too do things for him by his praises and admiting that I am better than him. And it always works. I ask him one day... What will happen to you if I were not around? And he replied... I WILL DIE! I guess they are just lazy because we let them and they are lazy because they can always get away with it because we just don't want any more arguements or bragging because when they can't make things work they will be forever cranky and upset and we are the ones who are affected the most. So we might as well do it to have peace of mind.
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
Your husband knows the best way to ask for your help:)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Mar 08
Husbands really need a wife who's capable of doing things other than doing errands and doing chores at home and taking care of the kids. Especially when there is so many things that are handed to him at the office, wives now a days shouldn't stop learning new things, just because they got married. It would be nice if during sometime alone with your husband that your conversations would not only be limited to what happened to you around the house, and having knowledge of what he does would make your conversations more stimulating, and like what your husband does he even gives you the things he is supposed to do. It shows that he's confident of your capabilities and that's good!
2 people like this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
I like your response because it tells what should be a modern woman and what a man expects to her wife. A capable wife can be beneficial for the whole family:)
1 person likes this
@marketing07 (6266)
• South Korea
4 Mar 08
i agree with you cheers
2 people like this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
Thanks for your reply.
1 person likes this
@susu22 (25)
• United States
4 Mar 08
sometimes we all feel taken for granted.it is ok to help out sometimes,show him how to fix the problem ,tell him to write it down as you have your own work and responsibilities,or only have so much time for him to dump his responsibilities on you.i feel he is taken you for granted and may need a computor update from his company and i would suggest he take a class. susu22
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@playsafe (115)
• India
4 Mar 08
Yes, Capable wife means less burden in day to day activity burden. These day mordern life brings in lot of activities which older life did not have so, an educated smart wife is must.
2 people like this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
Very interesting to know it:)
1 person likes this
@djmarion (4903)
• Philippines
4 Mar 08
your husband trust you a lot and you should be proud of that as men are less likely to trust women especially in technical things. if they give the work to you its because they think you can do it with flying colors. i personally like men who are humble enough to admit that women can do some things better that them. although there are some cases where men practically depend on women to do their job and that's not because they think women can do better than them but all because they are lazy to stretch some bones and muscles.
2 people like this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
You provide me a good reason. Yeah, I should be proud of it:)
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
14 Mar 08
As the saying goes: Behind every successful man, is a woman. You really seem to have a knack with things and got to give a hand to you for your never say die attitude to task that are mundane and seemingly complicated. And may I say also that you have complemented your husband very well here. You sure deserve my compliments. If I were you, I would not have accepted your husband's delegation so easily as you will have to take care of the house, laundry, meals and what nots. So I must really say you are one heck of a wife. Keep it up.
1 person likes this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
14 Mar 08
That's a famous saying:)
• United States
13 Mar 08
I think having a smart wife does not mean a husband should be lazy. It's like saying a wife with a smart husbnd should be lazy. I think both need to give and take. My husband and i have different things we excel at and we respect that but don't always put that particular tasks on them. Like my husband is great with computers but i will try to fix the computer myself before asking him. Marriage is a give and take relationship that should be full of love, mutual respect and honesty. If you don't agree thats fine, we are all entitled to our opinions :)
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
13 Mar 08
I can't think out a reason to disagree with you:)
@2btrueinu (705)
• Philippines
13 Mar 08
I don't think you made your husband lazy is just he know in his heart that you will do it better than him. LOL even if he is an IT program er sometime we are really better than our husband. And buy doing many task means that they admit that we are better.
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
13 Mar 08
I like to hear that we are better than our husbands:)
@lkbooi (16102)
• Malaysia
13 Mar 08
I think it is wise to have a capable wife then to have incapable wife in a man’s opinion. It could shoulder and share much the responsibility with her husband. The husband will then have less whatever burden. Like my husband who doesn’t know much about computer could always ask me to help him to do whatever thing by using computer. I do not like a husband to be too dependent. In the other way a capable wife might tend to be dominant and create much problem in family life as what I have seen among my friends and also from some movies.
1 person likes this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
13 Mar 08
That's good you know more computer than your husband, that means to say you have a good reason to use it all the time:)
• Philippines
12 Mar 08
Hi, youless, thank you so much for rating my response as the best one! Take care!
1 person likes this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
12 Mar 08
You are welcome. Although there are many good responses here, but yours is the best:)
@subha12 (18462)
• India
4 Mar 08
I think you are right. it means taht most of the times husbands try to act lazy in presence of capable wife like you. not only in husband wife relationship but everywhere.If you are capable in doing more, people will always expect you to do more.
1 person likes this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
That's true, haha:)
@Moliliuzu (141)
• China
4 Mar 08
Every hushand wants a capable wife. so he can deliver many difficult task to the wife to lighten his burden.it's a good luck for you husband to marry you. lol!
1 person likes this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
You are quite right, haha:)
@aseretdd (13712)
• Philippines
4 Mar 08
My husband also depends on me when it comes to computer matters since i am more knowledgeable than him in this area... but i depend on him to take care of the apartment... since i am not good at decorating and even cleaning... but that doesn't make me lazy... So i think... sometime... you should tell your husband to do it himself since he is in fact an IT programmer... i bet he could have solved that problem but because he knows you are there... he just gave up and depended on you to finish the task...
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
It's nice that your husband is good at decorating and cleaning. That sounds wonderful:)
1 person likes this
@gbolly54 (662)
• Nigeria
3 Mar 08
There is nobody who is not capable at one thing or the other. Similarly, nobody is capable at everything. Going by this reasoning, all wives are capable, but some are more capable in some areas than others. Capable or not capable, therefore, has to do with the 'task' on hand right now. For instance, anytime I am hungry and my wife promptly gives me delicious food, she is capable. If instead of giving me food, she talks of a solution to one programming error I was grappling with yesterday, she is not capable. For anybody to be called capable, he/she has to know and be able to do what is required at the right time. In summary, being capable has to do with: 1. Knowing it well 2. Doing it well 3. Doing it well at the appropriate time and in an appropriate measure. 4. Nobody can be capable at everything.
1 person likes this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
Thanks for your response. Be sure nobody can be capable at everything, it is just as well as nobody is perfect.
• Canada
3 Mar 08
Perhas your husband doesn't want to do the stuff at home that he's stuck doing at work all day, and he's just tired. BUT THAT'S NO EXCUSE!!! If his computer knowledge is greater than yours, and you feel more comfortable with him doing it, then he should do it. My husband is also an IT manager, but he does all the computer stuff around here simply because if he didn't know what he was doing, he wouldn't have THAT job!!!
1 person likes this
@youless (87602)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 08
But if he doesn't require me to do so, perhaps my computer won't make a progress so fast:) He said people need the motivation to learn and succeed.