How far can a woman tolerate her husband's relationship with other women?

@deepti15 (1190)
India
March 5, 2008 2:40am CST
Friendship i can handle. co-workers i can handle. when she starts to flirt that's where i draw the line. at the very beginning of my relationship with my husband, I saw a girl sitting on his lap at a party. I blew up like a volcano and let him have it. i have never been jealous before, but boy oh boy i was then!! ha ha nothing like that has even come close since that day! he knows the boundary's where i'm comfortable now. Do you think you can handle the situtaion better. What would you do if u find your husband,boyfriend or girl friend interested in somebody or going out eith him/her
5 people like this
23 responses
• Malaysia
5 Mar 08
It shouldn't be tolerated at all! If there's once, there will be a second time and so on and so forth. You should end the relationship immediately. But of course, you have to decide first, especially if you two already have kids.
4 people like this
@samrat16 (2442)
• India
5 Mar 08
I guess it would depend on what kind of relationship it is...If they are JUST friends then i think that is ok but if it is more then just friendship then she shouldnt tolerate it at all.
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
5 Mar 08
exactly i agree with you that it depends on what kind of relationship it is.
1 person likes this
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
1 Apr 08
That's not a good thing to do once you already committed. It's should have limitations or avoidance in such situations that very complicated and can affect the relationship. For me i am like you..i can't stand it anymore when my partner flirting with other woman. Flirting is one a very complicated thing. And can't be tolerated.
1 person likes this
@musicman6 (2368)
• United States
3 Apr 08
Ciades,I agree with you, you have a good answer! And I think the important part is, you have to let your partner know, what or how much you will tolerate, because if you don't, they'll over extend their boundaries!
@goergineo (1498)
• Jordan
22 Mar 08
should be tolerated at all. I think a faithful husband should not like a woman on earth exept his mom, sis, and wife.
1 person likes this
@goergineo (1498)
• Jordan
22 Mar 08
I may also add oprah
1 person likes this
• India
13 Sep 08
well Deepti, It depends on the situation and on your tolerrance power. But to be frank, it should not be tolerated at all. As you let it go up to some extent, you might loose the grip for ever. This is fine only in a case where even you want to get rid of your partner, else raise your voice the moment you notice. prashant@friendstime.com www.friendstime.com
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18462)
• India
29 Jul 08
it is ok till friendship. not beyond that. beyond that it will invite conflict in the relationship. it is not at all good for anyone.
1 person likes this
• India
29 Jul 08
see this case can creates problem in two direction. firstly if you try to convince yourself that he must be a goof friend of her or they have just formal relationship then in that case u may see that she is encouraged more and she realized that mine one will not say anything but this create condition more critical that create problems because i will be getting jealous more and more and the day will come when you will finally ask her to live me which is just destroying your relationship. second case is that if we can tell her frankly that i do not like her relationship with that person and you pls stopped talking to him.if she really has a true love with me then she will understand me and will stopped talking to him and this will help in preserving our relationship..if she gets angry ,not understanding me then really she is not loving me know and there is no reason of keeping this relationship so we should leave her but before try to convince her, try to bring her back to your best so that you never regret later that if i had tried then she would come back.
1 person likes this
@jstaubin (423)
• United States
18 Jul 08
I would have done the same thing. I know that it sounds like over reacting but I don't care at least now he knows where the line is and not to cross it.
1 person likes this
@paulsy (1265)
• Philippines
2 Apr 08
Wow, that girl is definitely a flirt! That won't do with me either! I am the jealous type too, but just like you, I can handle friendship and other acquaintances. But definitely not a flirt. If my partner is interested in someone else, well, what's the point in keeping the relationship? I don't want to be miserable all my life knowing that my partner likes someone else not me!
1 person likes this
@SHAMRACK (8379)
• India
5 Mar 08
Hi,It depends person to person and the level of love one has to their spouse or loved one. I hope the possessiveness may be the selfish of being for one only has prompted that. This might be seen even in children when their other children get much love to their parents whom they love. Any how I hope as indicated the feelings of you is natural and this may even come to if my loved do that. It is indication of our worthy love.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Apr 08
When it comes to marriage, I am old,old fashioned.The marriage was arranged so if he need another, so be it.If my husband had a woman on his lap, I wouldn't care. He will still be married to me because we are in this forever. But if it were a boyfriend, i would be alarmed and upset.You should be happy with a boyfriend, not necessarily with a husband.
• United States
1 Apr 08
For me a husband would have been chosen for me but with a boyfriend we chose each other. So if he wants another, we should part. and that's what I would tell a boyfriend who had a woman on his lap.
@Hatley (157587)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Sep 08
hhi deep ti well once this woman whom my husband had helped along with her drunken husband and kids, wrapped her legs around my husband and flung herself into his arms, then kissed him and said thanks. well I was furious . I walkd over, pulled her free, and said, dont you ever do that again Helen or I will punch your lightgs out. You see that man over there, that is your husband, hug him but this man this is my husband, and you do not act like a wh**e and then kiss him. I am warning you there had better not be a next time. I am usually a very mild shy woman but I was boiling mad at this woman. they were all shocked and then she apologized. I never did get very close to her after that rendition and my husband, darn him, laughed like a fool after that. but he never let another woman do that to him. If I had ever found my husband was cheating on me, I would have divorced him on the spot.
@Bluepatch (2481)
• Trinidad And Tobago
1 Jul 08
You do have to draw the line where it needs to be drawn. I agree with blowing your top over a girl on his lap. What if I saw my girl on somebody else's lap. It could be then end of everything. I get jealous when they talk too long with another guy. Its not that a woman has to have any special tolerance. It applies to anybody, man or woman. I know a girl who left her guy because she couldn't take the fact that he didn't want her to talk to anybody else. The truth is, you're right !
@wnbwnbwnb (427)
• China
3 Apr 08
Although trust is the most important factor in a relationship,I think one should also keep an eye on his parterner. There are so many things tempting in this world,one can never know what will happen in the next minute,so,if my sweet heart has a crash on someone else,I totally understand it,and I will let it go although I will feel disappointed.Meanwhile, I may ask him what's going on between them and remind him not to cross the line!
• India
3 Apr 08
No way, i cant tolerate it. Once this happened to me also.My husband invited his friend over to watch a movie, but then decided on going to the theater.So all of us went, but in the interval, she suddendly grabbed his hand and he went on putting his hand over her back and walking 2gether, that was just too much, I didnt start a fight then, but i did not speak to him then, he understood.And when we were back home, i blew up, and all he had to do was terribly apologize.
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
3 Apr 08
I cannot tolerate that. i dont want to.. I dont want to share my man to any other woman it is his choice .. he have to choose one.. He stays or he goes with the other one.. One he prioritize the most and if he knows he is going to be happy with that woman then ill tell him to go for it
@yogeshdhusa (2212)
• India
2 Apr 08
i dont know what to do, but i just thought why a man go away form his wife, Is she bugging him so badly, or he dont love her? or he have habbit to play? or or or or many things Yes i cant tolerate if my wife does it, but i think a relation will be only safe when you understant each other, and above all give time to eachother. because a wife needs her hubby when she give everything to make two people a family, she want a friend every time. and a husband need her wife because he does every thing for that family. So the key point is define your boundary line as well as you have to be thank full to eachother and apriciate eachother.
@rup011 (726)
• Germany
2 Apr 08
One should clearly discuss some things before marriage or relationship. The amount of possessiveness one can expect, the lines which should never be crossed etc. This would really prevent such a situation before hand. But if such a situation did arise and if I would have faced such a situation, I would have behaved exactly like you or may be more severe.
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
2 Apr 08
i probably would blow up just as you did,maybe worse.i don't think i would tolerate it at all.if i found out my hubby was fooling around there would be no second chances at all.i think your husband now knows his boundaries.cheers sue
@subha12 (18462)
• India
2 Apr 08
i think there should be definitely a limit. that woman could not have done so. i hate flirting when you already have a partner.if my partner become interested in someone, i will have a clear talk before there is a mess.