About privacy. What would you do in this situation?
March 6, 2008 9:57am CST
Well, K and R are both of my friends and classmates. K and R live in the same dorm. K's computer has something wrong with the mainboard and was sent to be fixed. R recently got a part time job as an interpreter and had to leave campus for 3 days. Meanwhile R asked me to take her place of an online job during her absence. Thus I have to turn on R's computer and log in the online chatting software to read the record between R and her leader, getting a general idea of what's going on (R gave me the password the night before). And of course K could see that I am there using R's computer. Next night when I was online, I found K was there too. I started the conversation by asking " you've got your PC back?" K told me she was using R's PC. I thought if K was using R's PC, R must be aware of that. Then I paid no special attention. Tonight R was back and went to my dorm to follow her online job. Then she asked me whether I allowed K to use her computer. I told her all that I knew. And R told me that she knew nothing about why she was using her computer! What's worse, K has moved her LCD to R's desk to replace R's old monitors. That means K has used R's computer for a very long time. I was stunned. I mean few people will use others' PC without a permittion. God knows how many files are there. R does mind others accessing them without her awareness. So do I. Even I assumed that K sent a text message to inform R of that, you just still can not use it before reveiving a confirmation. It's ridiculous! R also told me that K pays attention to whatever she's doing and even her talk with her family members on the phone! That's exactly what she has been doing to me before when we were close. And it's also why I try to keep a distance now. I have never met someone who are so interested in others' privacy before in my entire life. I think no matter how close you are with your friends, you should leave them some personal space. R said it's really scarey to live with her. How do you think of it? Have you ever had this kind of experience? What would you do in this situation? I am just quite angry and have a feeling of guit. It seems that it's me who put R in this place (R and I are quite close now). So I can't help starting this discussion. Thank you for being patient to read it. Thank you for your responses in advance.
• United States
6 Mar 08
Well, it sounds like this person is very nosy. I can understand how R feels. It is not courteous to use someone's computer without asking. There could be personal information on it that she doesn't want others to see. Having to worry constantly about someone listening in to your conversations is very annoying. It's a very sad situation, but this person is rude and very self absorbed if she isn't thinking of other's comfort when she is around them. I don't blame you for being upset, but don't feel guilty. It is not your fault at all.
7 Mar 08
Yes, R is still quite angry when talking about it. Because last night when R came back, K went out on purpose, leaving her LCD on R's desk. Then K sent a text message to R to apologize for what she has done, which seems that's nothing serious at all. With two monitors on the desk, there was not enough room for R to work. Thus all these made R feel even worse. Thank you for your kindness and comfort. Today I went out shopping with my friends and I fell much better now. Enjoy your day:)
6 Mar 08
the nice way to handle this situation is to tell the person nicly. but if she doesn't heed the advice given, the next best thing is to set a password for the pc. and in the event of private phonecalls and such, move away to somewhere else. maybe warning other people might also be a good idea. sometimes, you have to be a little mean to get your message across. god knows what she'll do next if you don't do something about it?
7 Mar 08
We've tried "the nice way" but it did not work. I've suggested "the next best thing" to R and maybe she will adopt it. About the phone call, R told me that it also happens even when she make it outside the dorm. Thus, probably R has to move a little farther. Hopefully, if the warning is applied, it helps. I think I have met the "next" already. Today, I went out shopping with another friend. We supposed it is just the 2 of us were aware of that. But my friend received a message when we were shopping. It was sent by K and was about our shopping today. We just can not figure out how she got that news. My friend just ignored the message. Yes, you are right. Sometimes we have to be a little mean to get the message across. Now R and I just concentrate on our works. Thank your for your comment and enjoy your day :)
• United States
6 Mar 08
Yea thats just crazy. lol. But yea never heard of something like this. I do believe that we should give everyone their personal space. We are all humans, so of course people have emotions. Some people are going to be noise or curios. It's just life. I guess we have to prepare for what comes our way.