Surrogacy could you?

@deedee30 (435)
Spain
March 7, 2008 11:14am CST
I was reading an article earlier about a woman who was a surrogate and it got me thinking, would you do it? could you be an oven and then give the baby to someone else, I think I could to be honest I didnt bond with mine as other mothers did and I would think it would be an amazing thing to do. The only problem would be that I hated being pregnant every last minute of it so that would be a down side. Should people pay a surrogate mother as surely it is a service? or should it be done for free?
2 people like this
12 responses
@asgtswife04 (2482)
• United States
8 Mar 08
I personally couldn't do it because i become so attached to them and automatically love them as soon as they are conceived. I mean, every single movement they make they make in you and you know you are their sole provider in making sure you are eating right and doing all the things you need to do to keep them alive and healthy. it was just be to hard for me to give that baby up, even though i knew it would happen. thanks and God bless
2 people like this
@deedee30 (435)
• Spain
8 Mar 08
I never felt like that even when I was carrying my own I hated being pregnant from day one to birth lol
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Mar 08
lol, some people just dont enjoy pregnancy. i absolutely loved it though. God bless
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Mar 08
I think most surrogate mothers do it for a fee. That is unless they were going to be a surrogate mother for a relative or really close friend of hers that she'd be willing to do it for free. The last news I've heard about a surrogate mother was one who gave birth to her own grandchild. Pretty weird, huh? Now, would I be willing to be a surrogate mom myself? Hmm... I probably could, but would rather choose not to. I know I'd be too attached to the baby that I wouldn't be able to hand it over to the real parents once I gave birth.
@deedee30 (435)
• Spain
7 Mar 08
What even if it wasnt genetically part of you? Surely that would be easier to hand over?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Mar 08
Even if it wasn't genetically part of me, I still think I wouldn't be able to. I think that once there is life growing within a me, even if the baby is not genetically mine, there's will be a strong bond that will bind us together. With my feeling the baby as it grows, his/her every movement, every little hiccup or jab in the rib (hehe) as I carry the baby in my womb for 9 months or so, these are the things that will make me fall in love with the little life within me. How could I possibly give up someone I already love so dearly?
2 people like this
@ebberts (786)
• United States
8 Mar 08
I loved being pregnant. And I know in my heart that their are people who desperately want children, and I am glad there are those that can help them. I couldn't do it. I couldn't carry a child for 9 months and give it up. I wouldn't matter if it was concived with my egg or someone else's. I had bonded with my children before they were born. To pay or not to pay would be up to the people wanting the baby. There are alot of expenses to be paid. I do think those should be taken care of by the people wanting the child. Personal payment to the surrogate I guess that would be fine, considering they might now be able to work during the pregnancy.
2 people like this
@deedee30 (435)
• Spain
8 Mar 08
fair enough everyone is different
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Mar 08
i think this is wonderful for people that,cant give birth. hoever this isnt for me, i am the type of person that gets attatched in general. I was attatched to my daughter before she was even born. Never could I carry a baby and then hand it over under any circumstances.
2 people like this
@djmarion (4901)
• Philippines
8 Mar 08
i don't think i could be a surrogate mother, i can't just give my baby to other people whether they are my relatives or not, carrying a baby in your womb is the most wonderful stage of motherhood and so i don't think i can afford to hand him/her over to another person no matter how good their intention was.
1 person likes this
@deedee30 (435)
• Spain
8 Mar 08
Got to disagree the most amazing stage of motherhood is when your child tells you that they love you! If it was never your baby and you were simply the birthing pod then there is no connetcion.
1 person likes this
22 May 08
we are also looking for a ts but like you have said not many will do it for free our last one wanted a lot of money which we could not do so she refused to work with us, we have been trying for 5 years now
1 person likes this
@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
31 Mar 08
Surrogacy was something that I definitely gave some thought to. After having my girls, I knew that parenthood was something that everyone should be able to experience. On top of that, both of my pregnancies had been textbook with no complications and quick labors. I did some research and contacted a few local agencies. I knew that if I did it, I wanted it to be the couple's fertilized eggs and I would just carry it to term. The reason for that was that I didn't think I would be able to part with a child if I knew that biologically it was part mine. After much discussion with my husband, I found out that he wanted us to have another child and that put an end to the surrogacy issue. I definitely think that it is a "service", and so shouldn't be done for free. I think the way that most agencies have it set up is the right way to do it, with the surrogate mother being reimbursed for any costs related to the pregnancy (which usually include missing work, maternity clothes, and doctors expenses).
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
30 Mar 08
I would do it for my best friend if she asked me. But only if it was her egg. I couldn't use my own eggs to make a baby and then give that baby up that was actually part mine. it would be a hard thing to do but i loved having my kids so much, i would want that for my friend too. i didn't mind being pregnant, the labor was a little rough. i've had trouble with the epidural 2 out of 3 times i've gotten it. second child i had a spinal headache. the third time they couldn't get it in, they stuck me like 10 times till she got it in.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 08
I know that in america that surrogates do get paid. I am sure that the amount of money they get paid depends on location, etc. The number I hear the most though is about $20,000. To be pregnant for someone that is need, that can not have chinldren but desperatly wnats there own child with there own egg, etc. is a good cause. I think that making $20,000 for nine months of just having to be pregnant would be cool. I highly advise people that have not had children yet and do want them eventualy, that they should not be a surrogate. I know that I want kids (always have since I was younger younger) and if I were to be a surrogate right know, even with knowing that it is not my egg etc. I know that I would not want to give that baby up. I would of course because technically it would not be mine, but after having carried the baby in my womb for 9 months and have all the symptoms....well, all I can say is it would be tough to hand over the baby after I gave birth and everything.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jun 08
I have actually been thinking really hard about that. I have a friend that is diabetic and has some other health issues that she and her husband think might be preventing her from becoming pregnant. They've been trying for awhile now, and I think maybe in a couple years, if they still can't have children, I would offer to be a surrogate. I think I could do it, because I would know that my friends are very anxious to have a baby. I think it's a beautiful thing. =]
• United States
11 Jun 08
I would be able to do it. As long as I knew that the child wasnt mine then handing it over to the parents would be an okay time. As far as paying the surrogate..yes they should . They are paying for there medical bills..plus if the surrogate isnt able to work then they pay for that as well. Its only respondsible to do so.
• United States
23 May 08
I do think a surrogate mother should be paid. She is helping out someone who can not have children. She needs to be paid because being pregnant is a hard thing to be. The end result is very nice and I would have bonded to much to the baby inside to be able to give the baby to someone else.