For What Reason(s) You Will Delete a Friend from Your Friend’s List?

@kamran12 (5555)
Pakistan
March 8, 2008 8:04am CST
1. Is it your friend’s inactivity for a long time? How much time? 2. Is it because you have disagreements? Mild, or Strong? 3. Is it because your friend has started spamming you with earning programs? 4. Is it because your friend has done something that, in your view, can not be compromised with? 5. Any other reason? Will you warn your friend before deletion to give him/her a chance? Or will you sign the deletion orders with a stroke of a pen!? Do share your views! Thanks! :-)
9 people like this
26 responses
@ctrymuziklvr (11059)
• United States
8 Mar 08
Funny you should ask this now because I was just going to start doing this. I have over 200 friends on my list yet I'm lucky to get 30 responses to my discussions so where are they all? REasons? Mostly inactivity. If they haven't been active for over a month or haven't replied to one of my discussions in a week they get deleted. I've deleted the comment section of my profile so they can't spam me any more. It doesn't bother me when one of my friends doesn't agree with me...we all have a right to our opinions and I can appreciate that.
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
8 Mar 08
Hello ctrymuziklvr, That must be a welcome coincidence, then!? 200 would be too much for me too, I have 140 and I, too, wonder where they are, LOL! But to be honest, many of them have left this site many months ago but I am keeping them! You have pretty strict criteria over there with deletions, but then you know better how to manage your list. You have, perhaps, made a good decision about comment section. I just try to delete the inappropriate comment. I appreciate you appreciation for disagreement, really! Thanks for sharing your views ctrymuziklvr!:-)
2 people like this
@novataylor (6572)
• United States
8 Mar 08
I've deleted a couple of people who I met in the beginning and haven't heard anything from or about since, but I haven't deleted anyone because of disagreements or any spamming problems. What I do is just turn off the notifier so I don't have to be bothered with e-mails. If I choose to disregard their discussions, it's easy enough to do so. And I do do that. I think I'm a little picky about what I respond to in discussions. But I would think that everyone would be. After all, we don't want to answer something that we know nothing about or care to discuss. There are so many inane ones out there that make me just roll my eyes, if I linger there long enough. But I like almost all of yours. Except for the political or terribly technical ones, I answer almost all of them. At least, I try to. I'm totally off topic here, Kamran, sorry. I seem to be rambling, which I don't often do, but, well, here you have it. Rambling occuring. lol I like the way you talk about deleting with the stroke of a pen. As in, the pen is mightier than the sword. One stroke, and it's done! Off with their head! In your friends list, my dear, please make sure that I keep my head. :)
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
8 Mar 08
Hello novataylor!:-) You are obviously generous with friends in trying to keep them and just turning your notifier off for those you may not feel like interacting with often! And yes, it is easy to disregard a discussion, for any reason, from lacking knowledge to lacking motivation. I am so pleased that you try to participate in all my discussions, well, except for political and technical ones, which is one my areas of interest too! I am honored, my friend!:-) Your response is relevant especially when you set out from the very relevant point(s). Nova, I never delete people! ok, except for a couple or so (in my entire time here) of those who were spamming others and being very rude (not with me) and insulting! I would never delete you, my friend. You can only go off my friend's list, if only 'you' choose so, that's for sure!:-) Thanks for sharing!:-)
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Mar 08
Well then, it would appear that we're friend forever, Kamran. :)
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
8 Mar 08
I hope so, I would like so, nay, I would love so! Friends for ever!
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10915)
• Canada
8 Mar 08
There are two reasons i would delete someone from my friends list on mylot.. ok maybe three.. 1. if they are inactive for a long time and i do not really know them, I just accepted them for fun and then they never came back.. 2. If they are rude ( i dont mean they have different opinions, i mean they are outright rude in any discussions mine or anyone elses that i read) i really dont like rude people. You can disagree without insulting someone elses integrity and intellegence in my opinion. 3. I answer as many of their discussions as i can, and they never ever ever ever answer any of mine, then i will delete them when i go through the list everyonce in a while. Thanks for the questions Kamran, but can i ask waht brought it on ? By the way, you asked if i will warn them, No, i just delete, i dont think most people will remember that they were even on my friends list if i delete them for any of the above reasons ;)
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
8 Mar 08
Hello Sissygrl!:-) Are you sure there are three and not four!? :-) Your first reason is quite understandable; actually all three are rational and are valid reasons for consideration of removal of a friend from friend’s list. And yes, one can disagree without insulting someone else’s integrity and intelligence. I have never done it in person, at least not intentionally, but I did question a group’s integrity and intelligence, though not directly but vaguely and only of those who question others’ (not mine) directly! Just to remind them that they need to look in the backyard before questioning others’! It would appear that you are so addicted to questioning that even replying, you couldn’t resist the temptation! LOL! Of course I mentioned it not to demean you but in a very positive sense!:-) Well, my friend, it happens that I was thinking about this discussion for a week now. Actually, another good member of this community and I were discussing something and the discussion diverted to a specific reason for which we would delete someone from our friend’s list. I thought it would be interesting to ask other members too! Did you think that there could be some other reason? Do share!:-) And yes, you are right that if you delete for above reason, those folks may not even notice that they aren’t on your friend’s list anymore! Thanks for sharing!:-)
2 people like this
@Sissygrl (10915)
• Canada
8 Mar 08
lol I sometimes ask questions in my answers so that the discussion can keep going! I dunno if it helps with the earnings if your discussions keep going on and on or not, but it helps get to know people and gives you something to talk about with your mylot friends ;) Hope you have a good day;)
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
8 Mar 08
Sissygrl, you seem to be quite intelligent and observant yourself. In fact, both of the things are true. It DOES help in earning; every contribution you make in discussions here helps in earning. And, very truly, it helps to understand friends more and more! Good day to you too!:-)
2 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 08
There are only 3 reasons I would and have deleted friends.The first one is they send me spam. After the first spam I got, I deleted them. The second is friends going missing. They haven't been on My Lot for about 4 months , I will delete them. But I did get two friends back. One changed her username and we found each other and another just came back and I put him back on my friends list. And the third is this friend and I couldn't agree the sun was shinning. We kept butting heads over and over so I deleted him.It wasn't like our great discussion, he disagreed and tried to get a little personal so I said bye and never looked back.
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
9 Mar 08
Hello sarahruthbeth22!:-) All your reasons are valid. It is kind of you to wait that much long before deleting friends and have them back if/when they return!:-) I, personally, don’t delete friends though, even if they haven’t logged in for nearly as much time I am here on mylot, at least it has been so up until now, as we speak. I have deleted a couple or so for spamming and insulting others though! You got me for a moment with your third one, sarah, as I rushed to see if it is me you have deprived of the honor of your friendship. It will surely be a loss to lose you as a friend! I am glad, it’s not me!:-)
2 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 08
Oh my friend, We weren't butting heads and I don' think we ever will. You respect me and I respect you. We may disagree but it Never gets down and dirty personal. I enjoyed our heated discussion on the Eden Story.I got to see you point of view and I hope you could see mine. I am so sorry to scare like that. I won't delete you. I cherish your friendship too much.
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
9 Mar 08
I don’t think either that we will ever be that way with each other, sarah! I did see your point there on Eden story. And, you didn’t scare me intentionally, I just didn’t want to lose any of my friends especially those who dare to voice their opinions however different they are from mine. I, like you, cherish our friendship! Thank you, sarah!:-)
2 people like this
@mbs730 (2152)
• Canada
9 Mar 08
I rarely delete friends here. But I deleted one so far because I had a disagreement with this person on another site. On sites like myspace and facebook I do more deleting.
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
9 Mar 08
Hello mbs730, I believe there would be quite a valid reason for a person, like you who don't otherwise delete people, to delete someone from one's friend's list here! Thanks for sharing!:-)
1 person likes this
@mbs730 (2152)
• Canada
9 Mar 08
You are welcome!
2 people like this
@sergeantrom (5712)
• United States
8 Mar 08
I dont care if they are inactive, I am too sometimes. I will not tolerate spam. I hate it. They get one warning and thats it. Do it again and off you go!
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
8 Mar 08
Hello sergeantrom, You sound like a true sergeant, sergeantrom! I like that! Thanks for sharing! :-)
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Mar 08
I am and you are welcome.
2 people like this
@Calais (10900)
• Australia
8 Mar 08
I deleted a few friends, only because they have not logged on for three or more months. theres no point warning them if they dont loggon.
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
8 Mar 08
Hello Calais, I can see that 3 months can be a long time for anyone. Of course it's possible that they haven't opted for getting emails for messages! in which case messaging would be futile! Thanks for sharing!:-)
1 person likes this
@Calais (10900)
• Australia
8 Mar 08
Hi Trans
2 people like this
@Feona1962 (7527)
• United States
9 Mar 08
I have deleted only one person and that was due to their rude behavior and trying to ruin my reputation..Other than that everyone is still on my list..I didn't tell them, I just pushed the button...
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
9 Mar 08
Hello Feona1962!:-) It's so good to see you!:-) I do think that rude people are just hard to be tolerated in friend's list. The couple or so people that I have deleted shared this trait, i.e. they were rude and insulting to others (though not to me). Otherwise, like you, I don't ever delete my friends either. Thanks for sharing!:-)
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
9 Mar 08
I have 14 pages of friends which I have accumulated over the year and a half that I have been on Mylot, I don't do a purge very often that I will take the time to go through friends and delete them if they haven't been active for a number of months plus. If I have taken someone off and suddenly find they have requested me to be a friend again I normally accept. I do not like spam and I have principles that I never spam my friends thus they shouldn't spam me, once is ok, but if they do it again I will delete them, but thankfully this hasn't happened and my close circle of friends know me well enough not to.
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
9 Mar 08
Hello wolfie34, That's lots of friends indeed, you must be lucky even though, I guess, that may be a pain too, to manage so many friends!:-) It's very gracious of you to accept people even if you have deleted them before. Spam is a genuine and one of the most common reason for people to consider deleting someone from friend's list. And, you have a fair enough deal there not to get spam as you don't spam others yourself! Thanks for sharing!:-) PS: I have been contemplating a response to one of your posts that I saw this morning, the one related to hate! I hope to formulate a response today!
@Modestah (11192)
• United States
9 Mar 08
I will remove a person from my friend list if they make smu tty posts or if they are terribly vulgar or hateful against God. I will also remove them if they spam me. how about you? when do you remove a friend from your list?
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
9 Mar 08
Hello Modestah, Your reasons sound reasonable to me! spamming seems to be one of the most common reason, other being inactivity! I,...I don't delete my friends, even if they are inactive for nearly as much time I am here. I have been spammed too but I usually asked the friend that that's not what I was looking in friendship, fortunately, they got the message. Similarly, I don't delete for disagreements, however strong they are. That said, I did delete 2-4 people because of their continuous spamming others and being rude and insulting to others (not to me)!:-)
@Sillychick (3279)
• United States
9 Mar 08
I have only deleted one person, and that was because as soon as I added this person, they put a huge comment on my profile with a bunch of referral links. No thanks. If I'm interested, I'll let you know. 'Friends' don't try to sell me stuff. Otherwise I might sometime, when I have time, go through and delete some people who are in my list who don't respond to my discussions, and who post discussions that don't interest me at all. I don't respond to all discussions of my friends, only if they interest me. So if a person's discussions are mostly ones that I don't want to respond to, I guess we don't have that much in common after all.
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
9 Mar 08
Hello Sillychick, Spamming would be well deserved and fairly common reason for people to dispose of some user from friend's list. I also understand your reason to delete those who don't share interests with you, after all friendship is positively about sharing! Thanks for sharing!:-)
1 person likes this
@Galena (9123)
9 Mar 08
spamming is the only reason. I think I have lots of online friends who I don't always agree with. but as soon as someone spams me I remove them.
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
9 Mar 08
Hello Galena, Spamming is really very annoying and fair enough reason to delete a contact. Thanks for sharing!:-)
1 person likes this
• India
9 Mar 08
When i feel iam ignored,and and not involved in any of his important functions
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
9 Mar 08
Hello rishalravindran, Welcome to mylot, I hope you will be enjoying your stay here!:-) Ignoring a friend is indeed not good! thanks for shring!:-)
1 person likes this
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
9 Mar 08
If i would delete friend from a friends list, i wouldn't warn him, cause i would obviously have a reason not to type anything to him anymore :P
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
9 Mar 08
Hello pasjiskot, Welcome to mylot, I hope you will enjoy your stay here!:-) Yes, it would seem obvious that deleting a user from friend's list mean that we are not willing to communicate with them as such and hence your reason. When I mentioned it was in context that you are deleting someone in response to some offence or to explain your reason to delete them. Thanks for sharing anyway!:-)
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35529)
• United States
9 Mar 08
Well, I have been known to go thru my Friends list all of the time lately. It seems like everytime I do, I am deleting people. Usually the ones I delete are the ones I added back when I used to add just about anyone, and never worried about whether they would continue to be a part of this site or not. So most of the time, when I delete someone, it is because they are no longer active on here. But I also just deleted someone about a month ago for spamming me via an Email thru the message area. I personally do not get anything from this unless the person is just offering one thing, and usually has been a Good friend in responding to my discussions, and I feel they are just doing it as a friend. But the one I deleted, his post had over 10 URL's on there and I did not appreciate this. Personally, my time online is quite limited these days, so I am selective in what I do online now.
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
9 Mar 08
Hello KrauseHome, Inactivity of members seems to be a major reason for their dismissal of friends from Friend's list here, And I can understand that in the perspective of managing one's friend's list. Perhaps, I don't have too many friends on my list, so I, personally, keep people on my list no matter how much inactive they have been! Of course, it's a personal choice and everyone has perfect right to do with their accounts whatever they please. I also understand, and feel, that spamming is just intolerable especially the one you described here. I have tolerated spamming myself and have asked them that this is not something I want friendship for. Time does limit our interaction and we surely love to make the best out of it. Thanks for sharing!:-)
1 person likes this
@gotcho0O (1258)
• United States
9 Mar 08
Reason of deleting a friend for me if that person did something that I really really hate. 1. I don't think I will delete a friend just for being inactive or abandonment of the account. 2. It depends. 3. Well, maybe.. 4. I guess. No need to warn a friend. Since it's my account.
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
9 Mar 08
Hello gotcho0O! Thank you for sharing your reasons methodically, and all those make sense. And, yes, it's your account and you sure have full liberty and freedom to deal it as you please. Thank you, once again, for sharing!:-)
1 person likes this
• India
9 Mar 08
i have near 80 friends but iam not deleting any one weather they are not active or any other reason. but i will satart deleteing them who have not active from past two months. i will delte them.
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
9 Mar 08
Hello simplyman2006! I am glad that you keep your friends on here. 2 months is fair enough time, I would guess. I, personally, don't delete them even if they haven't logged in for around a year. But, it's just me and we all have our personal choices! Thanks for sharing!:-)
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
8 Mar 08
friendship - friendship hugs
Psychologically speaking, friendship may be defined as "a dynamic, mutual relationship between two individuals"It needs constant nurturing and development from all the people that are involved in one. Friendship cannot survive if one person makes all the effort to sustain it without any mutual recognition from others. I can respond 20 times to someone's discussion and not see that person in my discussions for 6 months, guess what...I am not here to collect Avatar pictures.... I do understand that people may not be active for few months. If I have good relationship with someone, I will wait longer than 6 months.
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
8 Mar 08
You don't waste any opportunity to impress me with your pragmatism, polachicago!:-) True, friendship is a two way affair. It's like a Polaroid camera; light will only pass when angles are aligned! I get it. I personally like to keep them though, for as long as I am! You have a good point there about good relationship, pola, it is quite logical and understandable to wait for some more than others, we naturally do that, I guess. Inherently, maybe, we don't like to lose friends! Thanks for sharing!:-)
1 person likes this
@luvstochat (6914)
• United States
8 Mar 08
I delete the ones whe send me links to join some sites that I have not asked for and also the ones who bombarded my profile with their links I had to delete my comments section on my profile becuase of things like that. I really should go through and delte the ones who are no longer active too maybe some day I will.
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
8 Mar 08
Hello luvstochat, That's quite an understandable reason to delete someone, how rude people sometimes are! I hope now that you have deleted comments section, you will be in peace!? Thanks for sharing!:-)
1 person likes this
@nanayangel (7839)
• Philippines
8 Mar 08
Hi there! I have never deleted any of my Mylot friends. I am also not planning on deleting any of them even if they are not active anymore. I think that I might delete a friend if that friend has done something terribly wrong to me.
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
8 Mar 08
Hello nanayangel, You are quite a generous friend, nanayangel! I too keep my friends and haven't deleted any except two for spamming and some other reasons! Thanks for sharing!:-) PS: I recall that I asked you about meaning of your screen name as it resembles with something I can relate to, of course if you don't mind sharing!:-)
1 person likes this