will you leave your husband if doesnt have a job?

South Korea
March 10, 2008 1:38am CST
my husband friend will going to separate with his wife because the husband dont have a stable job...do you think its fair?what are your views about this issue..plz share
15 people like this
49 responses
• Australia
10 Mar 08
I think that so sad.... I can ubderstand her being worried that he doesn't have a job but at the same time, to give up so easily on a marriage when things get rough is just sad. She got married for better or for worse. What, as soon as things start making a turn for the worse side she's going to leave him? That is so wrong in more ways than one....
• South Korea
11 Mar 08
youre right thanks
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21029)
10 Mar 08
When you marry someone you make a vow for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. I would not leave my husband if =he happened to be unfortunate enough to lose his job, however if he became lazy and couldn't be bothered to look for another one and had an attitude that tells you he is just not going to work and that became a major issue in the relationship I would consider it then, but if he had just lost his job I would support him with love and understanding and encouragemnt until he was able to get another. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
• South Korea
10 Mar 08
i think the husband is a hard working..only that this winter season its very difficult to find a job or offering a job for laborer.,,
1 person likes this
• India
25 Mar 08
I don't at all think separating because of this reason of unemployment of husband is not fair.employment is not a game of our hand that we get it whenever we want.it may be the bad luck of her husband,but the issue of discarding him for unemployment is really not fair.according to me i think his wife is a lot in love with money rather than with her husband.it may be some other reason he is leaving him but she is using this stupid reason to take him out of her life. well the husband wife relationship is a relation to get throughout life supporting each other.
1 person likes this
@chrislotz (8203)
• Canada
25 Mar 08
Well it depends how long he has been without a job and why he is not working. If it has been a while and if he is not looking for a job and doesn't want to work, because he is just lazy, then yes, I would give him the boot. So what I am saying is, what are the circumstances of why he is not working. Does he have any health issues? Is he looking for a job and can't find one? Is he collecting any unemployment insurance? Is he sick and has trouble working? There are so many variables here and so it depends what your answers are.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Mar 08
I think it would not be fair to leave a husband who doesn;t have a stable job, but it would really depend on the situation. If the husband is finding ways to be productive even he is not earning stable money I think the wife should support him.Also if the husband is trying his best to find a job, the wife should also understand the situation. But if the husband is lazy, like resort to drinking,gambling etc and not caring about the relationship anymore, it might be time for the wife to consider but just the same, a heart to heart talk between the husband and wife should help to patch things up.
@banerowe (75)
• Philippines
21 Mar 08
I don't think that is fair, although I have been accustomed to that kind of situation. It can be blamed on instinct, I guess. Women are hard wired to seek mates that are capable of supporting them - including finances . Women generally deny that, but I have personal experience that women tend to pick out men who are financially capable. But in the end, I still think it is unfair.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
21 Mar 08
It really depends on the situation. I would not just up and leave my husband or boyfriend just because they are out of work if it were a temporary situation. things happen after all and I would hope they would stand my me if I landed myself in a tough spot. I did just break up with my current boyfriend and that was a part of my reason but not all of it. He is out of work quite regularly and especially during winter months. He works under the table and the work is unstable. He does not have a phone so even potential jobs have to find their way to his place to offer him work. He does not have a car because he could not afford to get it registered and repaired. That is also his excuse for not getting out and looking for work. He hangs about his extremely cluttered and dirty apt. day after day and gets angry at all the people that do not cater to his needs. It says much about the type of person he is, i think. Stand by your man but only if he is able to stand on his own two feet.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Mar 08
I dont think its fair for her to leave her husband for the reason that he doesnt have stable job. It may be a big issue but still not a reasonable one. When they got married, they promise to be there for each other no matter what happens. Instead of leaving, she should show support and encourage or motivate him to find a job. If the husband sees it, he may as well work hard to find a decent job in order to provide the needs of his family.
@yannycui (377)
• China
11 Mar 08
It depends. If the husband tried his best to work hard and searched for jobs, the wife should be back for him. If the husband didn't want to find jobs and stayed in house waiting for everything for free,the wife should leave him and move on.
1 person likes this
• India
10 Mar 08
Hi friend, If job is only the criteria to her,i think she has choosen a wrong person as her life partner,instead she can marry a person who is richer.See friend,job is important i say it is correct but the same time lovingly and caring person is more essential than job i meant,if she is really caring person,she will not leave him,instead she advise him or she encourage him to get a better job.I think it is not the right solution to separate from him. What do u say friend, have a nice day
1 person likes this
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
10 Mar 08
Yes, I probably would. I work but I expect my husband to be the main moneymaker as he is expected to be sure the family is taken care of. I don't mind helping but I am not supporting him while he doesn't work as I wouldn't expect him to do for me.I currently work part time outside the home, help him with his business, home school the kids, and do several things online to make money. I work hard and I expect the same from him.
@Gesusdid (1681)
• United States
10 Mar 08
ill say leave depending how long he hasnt had a job say if he didnt have a job for at least 1 year or 2 than id say move on , or if he just got laid off or fired from his previous job and hasnt had work since several months like 5 or 8 stick it out some but then again i would want her to be hearing him asking for money
1 person likes this
@mark17779 (667)
10 Mar 08
Just remember your wedding vows... " for better or for worse, in sickness and in health ".... If the person was being a proper slob stopping in bed till midday and generaly not looking for a job and doing no house work then its certainly not a case for divorce in my opinion. they should sit down and talk about or split temp and say you would only come back if they changed their ways....... Now on the other hand if the partner stayed at home and say looked after the kids instaed of getting a baby sitter, did the house work, shopping and other house related choirs then maybe that would make up for the person not working.... Alot of families have one main bread winner and one to stop at home... your friend is totally being selfish/over reacting.
1 person likes this
@sminut13 (1786)
• Singapore
10 Mar 08
like someone said, we need to know the details to be able to give a fair judgement as any party might be at fault here. but if we view it in such a way that the hubby is trying, maybe he's not that educated and all but still loves the wife and tries his best, then it would be unfair to him. unless like someone said, he doesn't even bother to try and look for a job, then i think i would support the wife. if he still doesn't heed her and still continues that way, then it'll definitely be tough to keep the household going. like they say, it takes 2 hands to clap. you can't do something by yourself especially something as important as marriage.
• South Korea
10 Mar 08
hi smi..the husband is working as a laborer but because its winter here its very hard to find job..i think something wrong for both of them, they re very sweet
@sminut13 (1786)
• Singapore
11 Mar 08
ohh that's tough. but if both of them want the marriage to work, then both should strive for it. if not, no use only one wanting it. so i guess it depends on both of them. i'm not sure who i would support in this case. it's up to them. i hope things work out for them since they're a sweet couple as you say.
@SHAMRACK (8533)
• India
10 Mar 08
Hi, I feel the pain of that husband, he might have trusted her so much and may he might be so depressed after trying so much not got any job. Anyhow that is too bad trust and love is compared to money. What tomorrow that man has to be in bed I hope that will be end for him. I hope if he is not trying for any job her decision might motivate him but if not that is too bad.
• South Korea
10 Mar 08
her husband work as a laborer but because its winter time here they dont have job,
@hey_baby (426)
• Philippines
21 Mar 08
i was gonna say leave him. but when i read that there is no job available, then its not his choice to be unemployed. the wife should just support him in finding a job or finding jobs other than his line of work. BUT if its the husbands choice not to get a job, then that means he's lazy and doesn't have the capacity to raise a family.
• United States
10 Mar 08
i think its not fair to leave her husband just because he doesnt have a job.if she really love him,she should give moral support to the guy.talk about the future and inspire him to work hard for s better life. or maybe she doesnt love her husband anymore so she's using that reason to get out of that relationship.am i right?
• South Korea
10 Mar 08
i dont have any idea coz when i saw them the wife is so sweet..just until the other day i heard from my husband,, i feel so bad
@Modestah (11192)
• United States
11 Mar 08
there must be other reasons than just the job issue then... or at any rate the whole story is not known to us and we can not draw accurate conclusions in the matter without risking detractions.
• China
10 Mar 08
I think this is a very good question. In my opinion,it refers to a difficult and deep question-----what is true love?Somebody may say true love is base on the rich material life,such as lots of money,big house,luxury cars etc.Someone will not aggree with that,they probobaly pay more attention on the psychological treasure,such as good mood,humorous jokes,warm and kindly heart,etc; Therefore,everyone has the different opinion about true love! Speaking of this question,it is obvious that no stadard answer to it.Because we do not know what the related wife think about true love exactly.Of course,everybody wants to own the rich and happy life,and wants to get an abilitied husband.But it is true that not everyone has that kind of luck. So,my suggustion is to let the two people think the true love quetion firstly!Then make their decision after deep thought.
• South Korea
10 Mar 08
yes..that was great,thanks
@gops121 (53)
10 Mar 08
Good to be practical in life... Given a chance if her husband is ready to try his best to get a job .. then she should give it chance but if ... the guy is just happy without the job.. does not have a aim in life then it would be sensible to leave the guy...!!
• South Korea
10 Mar 08
youre right thanks
@dandan07 (1908)
• China
19 Dec 08
I think it is not a good choice to divorce with your partner only for that reason. When you get married, you promise not to leave him no matter how poor he is before the god. So if he does not have a stable job, it is not your good reason to leave him alone. But in the real life, if your husband does not have a stable job, it is very hard for you to make sure that your family members can keep a good life standards. And your children may be effected by it. I think your husband friend can talk it with her husband about the problem. If there is still some chance to change the siuation, it is better not to divorce.
@Kecia08 (554)
• United States
28 Mar 08
I think that would have to vary according to the situation. If my husband had NEVER had a stable job, and never was out actively looking for one, then I think that could possibly contribute to a separation. In this situation though, you should know how your significant other's job record before you get too involved with him. If he somehow lost his job, and was desperately trying to find another one, I do not think it would be fair to leave him for it. Especially if it wasn't his fault he lost his job. Hope this helps!