Should We Try For A Child?

United States
March 11, 2008 3:09pm CST
So about an hour ago my doctor calls and tells me that they won't renew my birth control pills because of my age. I'm 30 and she said to me, it may be time that my husband and I concieve. I told her about my financial issues and how it would be difficult to come about, but she said not to worry because there are programs that my husband and I would qualify for that would help us. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have a baby, but the problem is my mother in law, she still seems to think I'm very young and I know she'd go crazy because of it. Although I realize it's not her problem. Anyway, how would you advise me and what would you do in my situation?
2 people like this
16 responses
@nmw2005 (1198)
• United States
26 Mar 08
wow, its time to find a new doctor, one who will listen. No matter what the reason is why you don't hsve kids, it none of her business to tell you when the right time is. As far as I know there is no set time to have a child.
• United States
12 Mar 08
This is all about what you and your hubby want and decide together not your mother inlaw not your doctor.If you want a baby and aren't doing so becuase your mother in law thinks your to young then I think you should do what you and your hubby want. If you don't want a baby because your not at the point in your life you feel stable enough tell the doctor she either gives you the prescription, becuase that is her job to be your doctor not your advisor or the person to make the decision for you about wether or not you have a baby. If she still refuses after that tell her that you will contact her by the end of the week with where to send your medical records. That might just let her know how serious you feel about the situation.
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
12 Mar 08
I think basically you will need to decide for yourself. Having a baby is between your husband and you. You will need to check if the both of you are ready to start a family. So you do not have to take your mother in law's comments, it is just an advice for you to be wary. So if you can address the issue then I do not see there should be any hesitation already.
@Celanith (2334)
• United States
12 Mar 08
First do you want a child? Second what is your family history on your side about how soon they women went in to menopause. My daughter is 32 and she has started Menopause. She was told she would have early menopause as she had problems as a teen. My sister had the same problems and by age 38 she could not have more children. She had three. Her last one was born at age 33. My mom had a cousin who went through early menopause. I know women who go through menopause in their late 30's and early 40's and others who start late 40's to 50's. Depends on your family history. Then there is the factor of the older you are when you have a child the older you will be raising the child. Your 30 now so if you have a child now you will be about 31. 51 when the child is 20 and if you want more children then older as it takes time to have a child and your body needs at least a two year rest if possible or three is better. As to affording a child, what are your priorities and goals and focus. My daughter has six children their income is $22,000 a year. The make do and get on fine. So it is up to you. But if you wait too long you will never have a child.
@Bethany1202 (3433)
• United States
12 Mar 08
I would say this: If YOU WANT to have a baby, go for it, and if you DON'T want to have a baby, find another doctor who will give you birth control. Have you talked to your current doctor about a desire to have a baby, or did the dr just say "Maybe it's time to start thinking about havong a baby" out of the blue?
• United States
12 Mar 08
I would say do not let your doctor make the decision for you. If you feel your not ready for a child than tell your doctor in a nice way that it's your decision and that you want to stay on the birth control. But if you do want a child do not let your mother in laws feelings deter you from having a kid. It's not her problem and all her harsh feelings will go away once the baby is born and she holds him/her for the very first time. This should be you and your husbands decision and no one else. Do not let your doctor or your mother in law make this decision for you. Because when it comes down to it your the one that will be taking care of the baby.
@gemini_rose (16193)
12 Mar 08
I think thats really bad that your doctor won't renew your birth pills thats never right surely? Even if you could no longer take the pill they should offer or find you an alternative its like they are forcing you to have a baby, I would be going mad if mine did that to me and would be finding another doctor. I would have said yeah ok I will have a baby if you are going to pay for it seeing as how it will be your fault! If you are not 100 percent about having a baby then you are not ready and nobody should tell you any different. Your decision to have a baby should be yours and your husbands nobody elses, if you end up having a baby before you are ready then you will end up being unhappy and you wont enjoy it.
@sacmom (14317)
• United States
12 Mar 08
In my opinion your doctor has no right to stop your birth control pills and they should renew it regardless (unless of course it is causing some sort of health problems for you). Only you and your husband should decide if or when to have a baby. And unless your husband is your doctor, this doctor really has no say in the matter. Good luck in whatever you decide. :)
@subha12 (18453)
• India
12 Mar 08
i think you are in right situation to judge that yourself. Your MIL is not right. you are not that much younger to try a child. if you can manage financially, its ok to conceive.ask her about the programs that can help you about. also better talk in details with your husband.
@llldj51 (39)
12 Mar 08
In my opinion the doctor has no right to tell you when you should be having a baby. That decision is up to you and your partner and no-one else. If you aren't ready to have a baby than I would go to a different doctor and get a prescription from them. If you and your partner are ready to have a babay than go for it. I am in my 20's and have 3 children. I wouldn't change them for the world but sometimes I wish i had have waited till I was older. Ultimately it's your's and your partner's decision. No-one can tell you what to do. Sorry and Good luck with the decision making.
• China
12 Mar 08
I think you'd better have a baby now, money is just a problem. But you should have your life, and a baby is one part of your life. Just do what you think is right and what you like.
@pinklilly (3446)
• Australia
12 Mar 08
Only have one if you are really ready too... However if you did wnt to have a child I would do it now instead of waiting any longer, in case it is too late... I think it was wrong of your doctor to say that though... I would have been rather annoyed with being told that, and I would be finding another doctor.... I have heard that woman should stop taking the pill after a certain age around 30 or 35 for what reason I'm not sure of.... Best of Luck with your decision...
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
12 Mar 08
I agree with your doctor,if you plan to have children its a good time..At 30 you are still ok but i think the longer you wait the worse it is to conceive...If you want a baby i would have one but its up to you and what you want to do,all i am saying is your time is running out and if you plan on a family its time you start...I don't know what is wrong with your mother in law but you are certainly not to young,your biplogical clock is running out of time...Its best to have a child in the early years...
@beckyp (48)
• United States
11 Mar 08
There is really not a right or wrong time to have a baby. 30 is not too old or young for that matter. If you feel it is time, I would start trying--it may be up to a year before it actually happens anyway, and then it's another 10 months!
@Courtom (288)
• Canada
11 Mar 08
If you want a baby, do it now, don't you want to be able to live long enough to see you grand children and children's children? Plus the older you get the more complications can arise. You are a a perfect age to try having a baby, but if you have been on Birth control for a long time, it can affect the chances of conceiving. Don't allow your mother in law to sway your decision. It is completely up to you and your spouse
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
11 Mar 08
If you are not ready to have a child I would find a doctor that is willing to give you a prescription for birth control pills. I would not continue to go to a doctor that told me that I am getting older and I should try to have a baby.