Do some new members need help on myLot

@suspenseful (40316)
Canada
March 14, 2008 9:53pm CST
I has just read two posts from someone asking me to welcome two new members to myLot. I mean I did not need help, and I am rather sensitive, cry a lot at the drop of a hat, take things the wrong way, am overly concerned. So why are these people in need of help? If she had said, they do not understand English that much, so we have to write in basic English so they would understand, but it was not that. It made me feel that we have to help them, that they would be an asset. And there was the insinuation that we all have to put them on the friend list. Well I do not do things that way. If someone wants to be my friend, I will see a number besides the friends list and I usually make that person a friend anyway and I also go through the profiles of the ones I am thinking of making them a friend. Oh by the way, the first post I made was not "I am new here,etc." I was requesting help on something other than letting them know I was a newcomer.
7 people like this
18 responses
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
15 Mar 08
I did get some of these post as well...I think that probably the person who invited them just wants to help them get stated in mylot...No No i do not think that it was meant for you to have to do anything,it was just a suggesstion because they wanted to help their friend get started....I am sorry suspenseful but you are taking it wrong and you are being a tad bit sensitive here...So just don't take it personal dear,i only think they were trying to help their friend get started.....
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
14 May 08
Well would it not be better to tell their friend on how to get started on myLot rather than ask us to make them our friend? I read a couple of those posts here and not on my message board and I did a search for this newcomer. I also went to the new user discussions, because since they were new, that is where they would first post, and there were lots of other newbies posting, but not them, And how am I going to help them? All I could see is to the referrer, tell XXXX welcome to mylot,et cetera. I could not give the mylOT rules, guidelines, how wonderful the discussions were because it was second hand.
2 people like this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
16 May 08
Well yes i supposs you are right...
1 person likes this
@Stiletto (4584)
16 Mar 08
I'm not keen on those sorts of posts either. Apart from the fact that it's not a discussion anyway I just don't see that it's necessary to do something like that when someone joins myLot. Posting on here is not rocket science, there are FAQ's to refer to, the site is clearly laid out - so what do they need help with?? Of course they're not really asking for help, they're asking us to respond to their discussions and add them as friends. I prefer to make my own mind up about what discussions to respond to and who to add as a friend so I tend to ignore those types of requests anyway.
4 people like this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
14 May 08
I do not like when a referrer asks me to make so and so feel welcome. My answer to that is Why? I mean I found my friends easy here, I did not need to ask who my referrer was, "Please oh pretty please, I am so helpless, get me some friends!" It is fairly easy to make friends here. And the people are so nice. So there is nothing to be afraid of and besides, as I have said before, I do not give them the directions to my house, where to find the key, and my telephone number.
@vanities (11376)
• Davao, Philippines
16 Mar 08
some considered that they are helpless once they are a newbie here..that is always a misconception i guess...its very easy to request to be somebody's friend and be on the lists...
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
14 May 08
I just started to write and then after a while, I asked myself "Did I actually write that?" It was quite a learning experience and once I started, the friends started to pile in. So all a newcomer needs to do is write, and get all those responses. It is fairly easy.
@anniepa (27238)
• United States
15 Mar 08
I guess it's just in some people's nature to ask for advice and help when they start something new like myLot. I have no problem with these posts because I was new once and although I didn't make a post asking for help, nor did my sponsor who I don't even know, but I don't mind giving my opinion and advice. I'm glad to check a new member's profile and add them as a friend or to tell them to feel free to add me, then I'll look at their profile and decide whether to accept or not. I almost always accept friend requests unless I see the person is very rude or abuse to others or "weird" in other ways. Annie
4 people like this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
17 May 08
I do not mind someone asking me for advice, but I want it to be the newcomer herself. I would think if someone asked for me, I would wonder why I could not do it myself, I am not a child. I also do not mind the newcomer herself saying that she wants more friends. I never had to ask for help. I just do not like the referrer asking for them. After all, if the referrer referred them, she and the newcomer had already something in common, and it would be the rather confusing if maybe I did not think much of what they had in common and they did not think much of my interests.
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
15 Mar 08
Well, it depends, If the newcomer had an up line and they were my up line, I do offer my help to them..When I signed up, I was given the mylot.com link from a friend who doesn't do mylot, but thought I would enjoy it, so I have no up line and as this was my first experience with money making sites and all those rules, I was very confused here. Even now, whenever they do an update, if not myself, then I see others asking, how does this work? Like the flyer button, I saw it once and couldn't remember where and so I threw down my pride and asked and a couple of others were glad I did..I am not afraid to ask for help, and if a newcomer is, then they need someone to guide them..
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
14 May 08
It has to be the newcomer asking for help, not the referrer. I mean how would you feel if someone regarded you as too dumb to ask for help? Unless you had trouble with the English language, then the referrer could say that So and So does not speak English very well, so we know that to make the answers to her post in Basic English and not use those long words. So to all newcomers, if you want help, ask. Do not let ask your referrer to do it for yoi.
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10882)
• Canada
15 Mar 08
I"m not sure if the request for help was to be taken literally. I feel that it was more a way for the person to ask that her friends would welcome her new friends here in myLot. I don't see a problem with it and I always welcome new members once I notice they are new. It's just like being a good hostess, I feel. Nobody can force you to add anybody to your friends list although you can add a friend of a friend, after all the more the merrier isn't ? YOu can do it two ways, you wait until you see some posts and responses from that person to make sure it is someone you would like to have in your friend's list, or you add the person right away and you can always delete later on if it doesn't work. Mostly I feel there is no need to sweat it, it's always up to you what you decided to do. You are in control of what you do in here, who you add, who you respond too. There's no stress :)
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
14 May 08
I check the interests of the newcomers if I am interested in making them a friend. I just do not like someone to regard me as helpless and if my interests and that of the asker are at odds, then I feel very wary that they want us to make her a friend. I find a lot of friends from people responding to my discussions or me responding to theirs. At least then both of us find out what we are like. That is the best way.
2 people like this
@Polly1 (12649)
• United States
15 Mar 08
I think this person was just asking for her friends here on mylot to welcome some new people that she knew. I am always happy to help just about anybody if its something that I can help with. We are all human and need help every now and then. I think this person wanted these other people to see how friendly we can be here on mylot. Sometimes its tough to be a newbie and feel your way around here.
4 people like this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
15 Mar 08
Me? I just start discussions and it is easy for me to recognize the newcomers but their green people avatars, and the lack of star beside their name and the number being only a one or two, and if they want help at a particular problem, I will respond to them. It is simple as that. If I do find that they happen to live in the same city as I do, well more the better, but these did not even put the country they were in. So why do not the newbies themselves ask us things? I mean I am all into giving hugs, but I am not that "we are all in this together," because all of us come from different aspects of life and have different experiences.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
15 Mar 08
Heck when I joined over a year ago I just started resonding to peoples post specially the one that invited me to join and I didnt post for some time then I would think of something and post got invited to be a friend and went on from there I get requets all the time some I take some I dont depends on what interests are like. I dont want to be demanded that I take them as a friend.
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
14 May 08
I started responding and then posting, then the requests came in. I did not know how it worked because when I went to the friends there were a whole bunch of them, but I have no idea whether they were compelled to. I hope not. I think it is wrong when we are forced to take someone as a friend, because that means we have to go over our friend lists when we discover they start ranting because we did not agree with them all the time.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
14 May 08
we arent forces to accept or keep them if we get tired of whom ever we can delete and I have turned people down that we have notihng in common to talk about
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60884)
• United States
15 Mar 08
I think its good to introduce a new member. If they feel welcome they might stay, make new friends and become assets to the rest of us. I know that I did that for my one referal. I know I had to ask the person that refered me some questions when I first joined, I hope that she appreciates the $$ I generate for her. If I ever get another referal I'll do another introduction post....
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
14 May 08
I am all for introducing new members, but not to ask us to make her our friend when we do not know about her and when the new member did not start one post. Even a post saying, Hi I am new, I live in ---- I like ---- and could you be my friend, would be a start. But I have looked for the profile of these new members that the referrer recommended, and there is no new posts. I cannot make them a new friend. I know some of these new members have requested I be their friend but then again they did so because they readmy posts and my responses and I have made some friends when I also read some of their posts and responses and then again I do not make people friends because I feel sorry for them.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60884)
• United States
14 May 08
Well, I think that if the person is going to be serious, they will respond to your request, but what I really hoped (and helped her to do) was go thru and request people that responded to the post. I have only had 2 referals, we know what happened to my first one, but I hope this one will be alive much longer. She is beginning to get the hang of it and starting to enjoy mylot, she is also enjoying seeing that she's making a few cents on here. She really needs to earn some serious money, but anything could help.
1 person likes this
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
15 Mar 08
Though I have nothing against those posts, personally, I'd rather participate on the discussions here and then there I'll do the rest to meet friends. And if ever I am the referrer, I'd rather PM my friends to add that person (newbie) if it is not that much of a burden for them. Yes, we all want to help others. But I find that there are different people who has different approach on each and every activity going around here, I'd suggest that them newbies be patient and take their time to establish their existence here on mylot..
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
13 Apr 08
I would rather add the people myself then have someone say "Oh poor suspenseful is having a hard time, please add her." There are other ways to help people. Answer their discussions and write posts in their interests.
1 person likes this
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
14 Apr 08
Yes, that's what I mostly do also. Most of the times, it's better to assist them in the best way others could and not because we were told to by their referrers. The way I see it, that's the other way of soliciting something to our other fellow members.
1 person likes this
15 Mar 08
im new and really lost :(
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
13 Apr 08
What you do is to look on your interests and request friendships from those on your interests. You should also read their posts because some say they are interested in your interests but are not. Read the myLot guidelines and do not break them. Make your responses at least four sentences, and make them intelligent. Make posts where people can really answer in detail and you will be all right.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
15 Mar 08
I think it's nice to 'help' new members but that doesn't mean I feel obligated to invite them to be friends - say someone has posted their first discussion. We all know if you don't have a lot of friends sometimes it can be difficult having a discussion be found. In the past I've had a couple of times such as when my daughter first joined (she's not active at all) I sent private messages to a few of my close friends and asked 'if they had a minute' if they could respond to one or two of her discussions. I think all I asked did that and a couple invited her to be on their friend's list. I don't think posting a discussion is the way to 'get help' for new members - I don't mind helping newbies one bit but at the same time I'm not going to go overboard to respond to every person's new referral - I tend to help more with suggestions on how to succeed here.
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
14 May 08
Posting a discussion with the intent of telling us to make a new member a friend opens up a can of worms. I do think when someone says, So and So is new here and rather shy, could you please make her feel welcome? is in reality asking us to make her a friend. If you are a new member to mylot, you are to make the move, not your referrer. It just takes a simple question or a simple request for friends on your own.
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
15 Mar 08
Yes some of them ask irrelevant question though but i accept there inquiries and tour them to what the site can do for them .
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
14 May 08
I usually try to set them straight, but they can be excused because they are just beginners. Also we do have the guidelines and we have that guy Crash, or what it is who can explain it to them in as simplistic as possible. Also could not the referrer when she got the newcomer as a friend, write to her and explain the rules and how to get along in myLot?
• United States
15 Mar 08
Hi suspensful, I have come across discussions in which people were asking for help in welcoming new comers to mylot also. I am only guessing here, but I think they only do it because they like mylot and in return, they want to make sure that their friends also enjoy mylot and feel welcomed. I don't think the people, who post these discussions asking people to welcome someone to mylot, mean any disrespect or harm to anyone. I also do not feel that they mean to make anyone feel obligated to add the person to their freinds' list or respond to the person's discussions or otherwise. I think that they just want to inform people that the person is there and encourage anyone who wants to, to welcome that person. I think they do that because they see it as a way of reaching out to the new person and helping them to feel welcomed. I think their intentions are good, in that regard, and perhaps they just overlook the fact that it might make some people feel obligated. That is my take on those types of discussions. I wouldn't take them personally, if you come across a discussion like that and you want to welcome whatever new person they are talking about, feel free to do so. And if you do not wish to welcome this new person, feel free to make that decision as well.
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
14 May 08
I would rather that the new person says "Hey I am new here. Please let me be your friend" and then discuss something or ask something, I will be only too happy to help. Or if someone says Gradfafyuaf (or whatever she is) is a new member, please help her out, so I could go to her profile and find that she posted a question or started a discussion. Then I can just answer it, and if she asks to be a friend, I will say yes. But I want the newcomer to ask herself. I do not want to feel that I have to become a friend because the referrer says so. Why we may not see even half way eye to eye on somethings and I do not want it to change into a word fight.
@Grandmaof2 (7603)
• Canada
15 Mar 08
Please accept my apology, I didn't mean to offend anyone especially people on my friends list. In my best defense we all think differently and because you're on my friends list I was just including you. Sorry for the inconvience this may have caused. Please disregard.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
15 Mar 08
It's okay. It is just that I want them to post their request for help. And could you get the new members to put the name of their country and perhaps cit if it is large enough since there may be friends here who live in the same country.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Mar 08
Yes some of them may need help. Most of the help can be found by searching. If they can read the FAQ's? This will help them big time. A lot of them are just lazy and want earnings. So they ask the same questions. The have seen asked and answered already. I willing to help where I can. I find the need to ask here for help as well. Some things we just have to pass by.
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
16 Apr 08
Not minding someone who asks. I am just having a member asking for us to become friends of that member. As Judge Judy says, =Do they have a broken arm?" All they need to do is post or respond to something. It makes it easier, rather than me having to put their name, go to their profile and find they have not either posted nor responded and they have not checked off any interests.
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
21 Mar 08
I think the person introducing them may be the person who got them here. In other words, the person s/he was introducing may be a referal. I wish I had gotten some help when I first came here. It took me three months to reach pay out. It took two months before I had very many friends. I think some people do all they can for their referals. Some people just expect their referals too keep going without help. Many times I've read about people whose referals don't write. I had one referal and she wrote two topics and is gone now. It took her two months to do anything, even though she said she would. Then she quit right after. So apparently people who come as referals do need some kind of encouragement or assistance. Do you have any referals? Are they consistantly writing for you? How would/do you encourage a referal? Referals make money for people and are neat. I've gotten 2 cents and that was it from my referal.
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
14 Apr 08
How did weak and helpless get in there? I was thinking shy and maybe less computer literate. Also I was thinking do unto others and you would have them do unto you. Take care.
2 people like this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
14 Apr 08
That should be "as you," not and you.
2 people like this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
14 Apr 08
Let's follow your line of logic for a moment here. . . I invite you to my home and I introduce you to my family and friends. They help you find things because you've never been to my home before. By introducing you and people helping you, they are indicating that you are weak and helpless. Interesting line of reasoning. Manners must be different where you come from.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164652)
• Garden Grove, California
14 May 08
I really think that you should cut newcomers some slack as a lot of them might not use English as their first language, If you are sensitive as you say you will have some compassion and extend a bit of help. Of course we do not have to do anything we do not want to do but I do not turn many away who ask to be my friend, Why should I? they are not likely to do me any harm .
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
14 May 08
I think you did not read my discussion correctly. I meant the person who refers them says that 'SO and so needs help, welcome her to myLot, etc." when the real purpose is they want us to make them your friend. I am waiting for the newcomer herself or himself to write a post saying that she or he is new here and asks for our help or asks for friends. So if someone is a newcomer and asks for my help, I will give it but I am sensitive not empathetic, I will help someone who asks me, but they have to ask themselves, i.e. write a post.