would you lie for love?

Philippines
March 15, 2008 12:48am CST
Is HONESTY ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS? Sometimes it seems as though loving and lying go together. When we lie to someone we care about, it's usually with the best of intentions-- to soothe his/her insecurities or to avoid a fight. And as long as our hearts is in the right place, even experts acknowledge that honesty isn't always mandatory. Still, not all lies are harmless-- even little white ones-- and some untruths can unravel relationship by eroding intimacy and trust. So, do you believe that you don't have to tell the whole truth if it will hurt your partner or if it's something he/she can't change?
2 people like this
17 responses
• China
15 Mar 08
Everyone has to tell lies in his life,no matter white ones or intended ones. I would lie to someone i care about,if lies could help . and there is something that needs to be secret when you live, because the truth will hurt the person you loved. there is a girl not good at her study and often fail in exams.once the teacher told her that she passed all exams that term and made her known in the whole class as the greatest improved students. actually she failed half the exam.but the next coming term the girl did pass all the exams. The great teacher's white lie helped the girl to be confident and stimulated her working hard to get a high scre. there many examples like this.so if lie is useful or you have to lie please don't feel shame . of course we hate those who intend to cheat .
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Mar 08
In my experience, as much as I wanted to tell the truth to everyone, there are situations that I need to do a very little lying. Of course I think of it many times before I do it, like thinking of other alternatives before lying. Yes in our life we also need to hide something to others- it's uncomfortable if we live our life like an open book. I also believe that there are times that things get worse if we lie, so I think we should think before we do it.
@az03r4 (917)
• Indonesia
17 Mar 08
I'll do that. Coz I can't hurt somebody who I care about. But it depends of what kind of truth we're trying to hide, we must classify what must we tell or not. Me, as example. I have a boyfriend, firstly I like him, then the feel is change to be care. I'm trying to love him, but I can't and still can't. Then when I get hurt, and the situation support me, I tell it to my boyfriend. That I've trying to love him but I can't, that was the truth. And I can't believe that he's gonna be so sad like that. And now I'm aware that not all truth to be tell... And that's quite make us sad enough by hurt ourself. I can't imagine how sick I am coz that event. But after rethink about it, we're aware that the truth must be told. LOL. It's better to get hurt first, then we must lies and then we get hurt. After that, we can breath freely and our love becoming stronger.... That's for me. So, keep honest, dude! :) But the truth must be told!!! It
• Philippines
17 Mar 08
I hope your boyfriend is alright now. Yes, I'll be keeping that in mind. I sure want to be honest. Thank you for your opinion.
@az03r4 (917)
• Indonesia
18 Mar 08
He's alright now. A day before he start to stay away from me, he said that he's gonna fix his heart first then think about all. Then a day after, I think he couldn't do that to me. He can't stay away from me without knowing what happpened to me today. Then he decided to come to house and clear all. Then he make an apologize. First, it's real hard for us. But I really dear to him, and I thought he so much love me, really can't stay away from me. He told that he really missed me for only a day.... At night our relationship is back as past, like nothing happened. LOL And now I know it's time for me to love him.
• Philippines
18 Mar 08
And I am hoping that you live happily ever after. Regards to you and your man. Stay safe. =)
@jona_jz (80)
• Philippines
16 Mar 08
I have lied for love. I did it with the reason as yours, I don't want to hurt him and I don't want to discuss about it or it will only start a fight. Did I made the right decison? NO. No, because it ended up knowing from someone that I was lying from him. It hurt him because he didn't expect that I'd be lying to him about it. That's the worst case of it. It does really hurt when you know that you're being lied. Even if you told him the reason why you kept it from him, he already had the wound and it does not heal that fast, but it will be healed though in due time. It is actually up to you if you can deny the truth from him forever. But it also depends on what would you lie about. But when he ask you about it, better to tell him the truth, but if not, you can keep it for yourself until you'd forget about it and won't be bothered about it anymore.
• Philippines
17 Mar 08
I suppose that was your boyfriend right? Are you ok with him now, or does anything change after he found out that you lie with him? I think it pays more to tell the truth, right? Thank you for the response.
• Philippines
17 Mar 08
No, we have already broken up. Things didn't work out that well for both of us. But I didn't regret losing him coz i'm in a new love now and to correct my mistakes, I have always been truthful to him. If you have done something bad and afraid to tell your guy/girl, don't hesitate coz if he/she truly loves you, he/she will understand. It's better to tell the truth coz if ever he would get mad with what you've done and you tolsd him the truth anymore, he can't blam you for that, coz we're humans and we made mistakes, so we deserve to be forgiven.
@skinnychick (6937)
• United States
16 Mar 08
My feeling is that if you have to lie about anything especially if something is bothering you that your partner can't change- then it isn't love of the true kind. If you have a true love then you shouldn't have to lie about anything. You and your partner accept the truth about each other. That truth shouldn't hurt it should add to the trust that usually comes with true love.
• Philippines
17 Mar 08
You said it right. Thank you for the response. =)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Thanks so much!:)
• Qatar
16 Mar 08
If the situation calls for it, being honest always is not a good policy in a relationship, coz you might hurt her/his feelings for telling the truth, and eventually will lead on to arguement. Sometimes, u have to think of the situations you are in and think of the consequences it will may cause to your relationship.
• Philippines
16 Mar 08
Hi Jules. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, and for also adding me as your friend. I appreciate it. You stay safe =)
• Philippines
17 Mar 08
For me, honestly is the best policy since if you're not telling the truth just to be with someone or reasons that you never like to hurt him/her. it's still the trust that matters.
@Polly1 (12650)
• United States
16 Mar 08
I am normally a very honest person. But I will lie to someone to spare their feelings. If the truth will hurt them and its not something they have to know, I will tell a lie. For instance..my mom and I clean houses. we have this one customer that I have cleaned for for years, they have actually became friends. They got to where they were not happy with my moms cleaning. They only wanted me, I had spoiled them. How do you fire your mom, I had tried to hint to her about things, I had even talked to the people about how to get my mom to do things different. She has her way and thats that. I told my mom a song and dance story about them wanting to help out a friend who was out of work and needed money. I couldn't figure out how to fire my mom, and I would have felt disloyal to her if I went by myself and left her out. They do have me come over and do extra things for them and I tell my mom that.
• Philippines
16 Mar 08
That could be a very hard situation, when the one's involved is someone whom we always want to tell the truth- of course we don't want to hurt them. As what as Reo has stated above- there are some truths that we can't handle so we tell a little lie sometimes. Thank you for the response.
@Polly1 (12650)
• United States
22 Mar 08
Thanks for best response.
@apsara60 (6613)
• Israel
15 Mar 08
I think truth is something that never never remains hidden, some how truth always comes out and then it becomes even more difficult to give proper explanations to prove that your intentions were honest.......I would say, no wonder how bitter, we should always tell the truth.....listening the truth, accepting it and then facing it like a challage will always clear all the misunderstnings and end in happy ending.........Truth should be foundatin of every relationship. Any person who lies even if for good cause, still spends restless nights as his guilty concious takes away his peace.
• Philippines
16 Mar 08
That is my heart's ultimate desire- to always tell the truth. You know if you say the truth, you worry less. And you're right, there is peace within. Thank you for the response.
1 person likes this
@apsara60 (6613)
• Israel
18 Mar 08
I am happy you decided to remain truthful....Have a nice day.
• Singapore
23 Mar 08
if your are honest and truthful, you never have to worry about being foundout. There is always the danger of being found out if you lie. even if it is white lie. It depends on how your partner will take it once found out. Remember that a relationship needs a strong foundation and i do not see that with a lie.
• Philippines
23 Mar 08
Thank you for the response =)
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
17 Mar 08
I don't know. Maybe in a very few cases it may be ok. I don't like lying and I really really don't like being lied to. If someone lies to me about something small, I always have to wonder if they'd tell me the truth when something big came along. If found out, it breaks down trust even with small lies. And trust is very very important in any relationship.
• Philippines
18 Mar 08
It is true that in some cases a little, little lie is ok. But I think, now, I am getting a thought that before we lie, we should think it over a million times. We can get through an issue if we give a little lie but we must be ready for the consequences, like what you said- it breaks down trust. I like it when you said that trust is very important in a relationship. Thank you. =)
• China
17 Mar 08
To lie is not always the wrong thing, like what you siad lies with the best intentions. Sometimes we have to lie in order not to hurt other people.And yes, i would make a little lie if i think it's necessary.
• Philippines
18 Mar 08
If it's necessary, you have a point and to add up, let's just think it over a million times before we do it. Because if things comes to worst and that little lie is known to that person, that little lie can destroy a big thing- and that is trust. thank you for the response lovelemonlee =)
@jonirei (116)
• Philippines
17 Mar 08
it really depends.thats all.thank you.=b
• Philippines
18 Mar 08
LOL Thank you so much for your short response. I so appreciate it though. =)
@BYOLA2871 (4376)
• South Africa
16 Mar 08
well i have to tell you that somtimes we think we are taking the right decision saving a situation by telling lies while in fact we are secretly destroying every element of trust we could have ammassed,i have been in thois situation too many times to know better,i once told a lie abot a lady friend to my wife and i never knew they were ver gonna know get to meet again,but alas they did meet and she told my wife all that ver happenend between us before i met and married her i had told a lie cos i didnt want my wife to feel insecure but it bursted in my face,i was lucky how many will be that lucky?i think it better to be truthful as much as we can,but we cant possibly say all,can we?
• Philippines
17 Mar 08
A friend once told me that we will eventually know the things that we ought to know at the right place and time. It's as if the universe has this special pattern or maybe it is the way of how it revolves. She explained that no matter how we hide something, or how others hide something to us- we will know- in time. I just like that. Maybe now, we don't feel to say all, but it will be known- whether we like it or not.
@sidonna (64)
• Jamaica
16 Mar 08
would you want some one to lie to you? you must remember when you tell the first lie you have to keep telling more lies to cover for the one you already told. to me that causes more confusion, and your relationship isn't real. tell the truth regardless if it hurts or not. also remember don't do to someone that you don't want done to you
• Philippines
16 Mar 08
The Golden Rule... I understand your point. Thank you for the response. Stay Safe. =)
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
15 Mar 08
maybe i won't when you started it with a lie.. you will probably lying most of the time to keep it. and that will be a whole lotta stress for me. i have to let him know and if he is not okay with it.. then fine by me. let's just separate ways... if he finds out all the lies you fabricated.. it will be much worse to talk about... and besides you only lie about things you know will hurt that person... so why hurt the one you love and conceal it by a lie?
• Philippines
15 Mar 08
You have a very good point here. Thank you for the response.
• China
15 Mar 08
Yes,I do lie for love. As you said,"when we lie to someone we care about,it's usually with the best of intentions--to soothe his/her insecurities or to avoid a fight."That is true.If someone really loves others,he or she will take any measures to make her or him laugh and be happy,not sad and angery.it is a simple process. So,when I met a situation that I have to lie for love,I will not hesitate to do that,because I love her,I want to bring happiness to her. Thanks to sharing with us.
• Philippines
15 Mar 08
Thank you too for sharing you splendid answer. Stay safe =)
@Daisyshu (20)
• China
15 Mar 08
Honesty is always the best policy. No matter what happen, I will try my best to tell my partner what is the matter in a suitable way. I'm not good at telling lies. When I tell a lie, I have to make ten ones to make the lie sound reliable. It is too difficult for me. One day when he finds out the truth, his anger might break out like a volcano. It is said that love is being stupid together. When I am in love, I might be stupid but I must be honest.
• Philippines
15 Mar 08
It's good to hear that you can avoid this kind of situation. I am proud of you. Stay safe and thank you for your wonderful answer =)
@zenmachado (1619)
• United States
15 Mar 08
I think the truth in that question would lie in the details of the situation
• Philippines
15 Mar 08
Thank you for the response. Stay Safe =)