He makes me proud!
By mummymo
@mummymo (23706)
March 16, 2008 8:05pm CST
My son is 14 he is well mannered, polite a good student, helpful and considerate and then he comes home! lol ok when he is at home he will have attitude have tantrums and generally be very annoying but that is a teenage thing right? He doesn't get away with it anyway but I just wanted you to know I am not the type of person who thinks their children are angels who can do no wrong! lol
My son has always been very good at school - I always tell him I don't expect him to be perfect just to do his best and I will be happy!
Anyway his school started a new scheme last year called an ace scheme, there are lots of empty pages divided into squares in the back of the kids homework diaries and whenever they do well in class, are helpful to teachers or other pupils, try exceptionally hard or take on and complete extra tasks they get a stamp! They have to have a certain number of stamps to get to attend School Disco's etc! It is kind of like a star chart - it is there to encourage pupils to try their best to be 'good' citizens, to improve behaviour and attitude! i got a lovely surprise the other day when my son came home with a note saying that as my son was in the top 20 pupils in his year and therefore was going to a GoKarting centre on Thursday, totally free of charge and under supervision by school staff at all times! I was very proud of him!
Do your schools have these types of schemes? Do you approve of incentive schemes like this, either in the home or school? I certainly do and I just hope he enjoys his day more than he did the last time we took him there - adults and teenagers are not allowed to race at the same time which really disappointed him as he was desperate to race his stepdad! At least this time there will be other kids his own age to race! xxx
8 people like this
19 responses
@mummymo (23706)
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18 Mar 08
Don't you mean 2 grown ups and Ross!
Tell him I said that as I want to see whether he phones me or comes round to tell me off for it! You know I don't mean it , Ross is a wonderful man and I am very proud of him, even if he is a cheeky wee shite, he is still my wee brother and I wouldn't be me if I didn't tease him! lol xxx
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Incentives are always a good thing i think. I wish we had them at work but we don't. I have to be pretty creative to give myself my incentive at times. Anyway, my daughter is 14 and they did have incentives at her elementary school and it was wonderful. In the middle school however, they dropped them which I think is a shame. I mean, I tell my daughter that I go to work each day because that is my job. My pay is what gets her what she needs and provides for us. I have always told her that school was her job but really what is her pay in her mind? yes, she can get good grades and that will help her when she is older but kids live for today. I do think incentives can make school a bit more interesting for the kids.
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@mummymo (23706)
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17 Mar 08
I couldn't agree more sid! My son is 14 and my daughter 6, I am dreading her getting to 14 as she is far harder to persuade to do something she doesn't want to, she is far more stubborn and has had a very good understanding of her own mind since she was a baby! lol Is your daughter like that too? I think we all need little incentives to keep us going! I know if my kids have very good reports/grades they get a present from us! It is a good thing but they get good reports every year so I haven'had an excuse not to treat them! xxxx
@mummymo (23706)
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18 Mar 08
I had to laugh reading your response as I think Niamh gets it from me too and don't they say it is the traits you don't like about yourself that annoy you most in your kids? I don't know how you have coped with 4 like that - I often say if Niamh had been my first born she would be an only child!
My son was a breeze compared to my daughter! xxx
My son was a breeze compared to my daughter! xxx1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Oh you have no idea. my daughter(s)(all 4 of them are so headstrong it isn't even funny. It is sometimes tough to deal with as a parent but I suspect they get it from me. The older 3 have turned out beautifully and I know she will too but she does need that incentive. I can't say for sure because I've never had a son but rumour has it that girls are far more difficult especially for the mom's than boys are.
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@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
17 Mar 08
Well Sweet that is wonderful and I know that your Boy is one smart Cookie
I think that all Schools should do that as it encourages the Children to work hard on it
Give him a Hug from me and a big sloppy Kiss hehehehe
Well done
Love you xxxx
@mummymo (23706)
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17 Mar 08
I agree Angel! By the way remember when we were talking and he came in from school talking very loudly? What he was actually saying was is that Gabby on the phone tell her I said hi to her and woof to Gissi! And there was me thinking he was just being dizzy and hadn't realised I was on the phone! The hugs and sloppy kiss Niall will probably love - it is Niamh who hates kisses! xxx
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@mummymo (23706)
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17 Mar 08
You know I am proud of my kids sweety! lol Every time I think one of them is going to drive me straight to the psych hospital they do something really good! I am sure he will have fun , he is really excited about it! My other half reckons Niall is bound to win as he forgets to use his brakes at all! xxxx
@Darkwing (21583)
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17 Mar 08
I can feel your pride from here, my friend, and your joy for your son to have earned such a lovely reward. Well done to him, indeed!
Yes, I agree with this kind of incentive, and they seem to operate it in a few schools these days. My daughter-in-law made such a chart for Lauren at home. She is a classroom assistant so she thought she'd try it. It seemed to work quite well. So... you know what I'm going to say here, don't you? 
Why don't you operate a chart for him at home, and when he's filled all his squares, give him a treat of your own? Use black stars for his tantrum times, and gold or silver for the good things he does at home. You might just be able to turn him around! 
Brightest Blessings, my dear friend. xxxxx
Why don't you operate a chart for him at home, and when he's filled all his squares, give him a treat of your own? Use black stars for his tantrum times, and gold or silver for the good things he does at home. You might just be able to turn him around!
Brightest Blessings, my dear friend. xxxxx@mummymo (23706)
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17 Mar 08
I think the schemes are wonderful too honey! I used them for both the kids for many things from behaviour to toilet training - they are so handy! I do like your idea for the one at home but he seems to be getting better all the time! His tantrums and attitude are not nearly as bad or as often and 99% of the time he realises what he has done within minutes and comes to apologise! I think I will hang fire on the star chart right now and hold it in reserve in case he regresses again! xxx
1 person likes this
xxxxx @jhoana_joey (616)
• Philippines
17 Mar 08
I was a kindergarten teacher before and we do have that schemes....putting stickers on their notebook everytime they will excel in something. It's encouraging the children to do their best and also that is one way to appreciate their goodness.
@jhoana_joey (616)
• Philippines
20 Mar 08
You are absolutely right, it's great to see happy faces among children after you appreciate the good deeds they've done.
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@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
17 Mar 08
I wish they had these incentive schemes in place when I was at school, sis, they would have gone down with huge success and I hate to blow my own trumpet but I think I would have got to go karting too, so I'm jealous! I hope he has a great time, he deserves it, you have every right to be proud of your children sis, they are lovely and take after their mum, well not the tantrums bit LOL, Even wolfie had tantrums in his youth (gawd that makes me sound old!) It's a breath of fresh air when you hear about teenagers being polite, well mannered and a credit to society, you hear so much of binge drinking and stabbing and crime nowadays that it has become a commonplace so thank you for sharing and making a Monday happier xxxx
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@mummymo (23706)
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17 Mar 08
Aww My darling brother thank you for that and I am glad that I made Monday a bit happier for you - you make every day happier for me!
I have to be honest sweets , much as I hate to admit it...I still have the occasional tantrum but in my defence it is usually when I am in a lot of pain and very tired and at the end of my tether all the way around! 
It is amazing how solicitous my family are when I have had a tantrum - I must be quite the ogre!!!!
As for my kids well you are right I have every reason to be proud of them! Thanks honey, hugs xxx
I have to be honest sweets , much as I hate to admit it...I still have the occasional tantrum but in my defence it is usually when I am in a lot of pain and very tired and at the end of my tether all the way around! It is amazing how solicitous my family are when I have had a tantrum - I must be quite the ogre!!!!
As for my kids well you are right I have every reason to be proud of them! Thanks honey, hugs xxx
@SViswan (12051)
• India
3 Aug 08
That sounds like a wonderful schemes...but my son's school (I doubt if any school in India has) doesn't have anything similar.
But despite that (and depite being annoying and having an attitude sometimes at home), he's doing well at school (in every area not just academics) and all the teachers appreciate his skills and manners....and they make it a point to tell him as well as me so. He gets to do more challenging stuff (which he loves) and also gets to be the teacher's help...which is an honoured post at his school.
I liked the stamp idea so much, I'm going to suggest it at school...hopefully they will start something like it.
Hope your son enjoyed and had a wonderful time:)
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@mummymo (23706)
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19 Aug 08
Sorry i am so late in responding my friend - I am afraid I have not been online as I was ill but am getting stronger now. My son had a wonderful time - it sounds like you should be very proud of your son and I am glad that he is appreciated and shown that at school, children respond so well to praise and encouragement don't they? I hope also that your sons school could implement a similar sort of scheme - it reallyu does seem to help a lot of kids! xxx
@ItTakesAllSorts (4096)
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21 Mar 08
No wonder you are so proud of him mummymo, top 20 pupils that is certainly an achievement.
I am all for incentive schemes if they are not overused. I am working in a primary school at the moment and everyday the kids have a sticker for good work, to me this is too much as it seems they expect the sticker everytime they do something now.
In my son's school they do have some schemes, best tutor group attendence get some money at the end of the month, best attendence by a pupil gets £20.
However, my son who has been so good in school has now turned into a hooligan. He has had about 6 detentions in the last couple of months and says school is so boring and the teachers cannot teach properly.
At his school I think they should do a scheme for the teachers to get them into shape. Inner London schools are certainly not the best place for kids nowadays which is sad as every kid should have the right to a decent education.
I wish your son every success xx
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@mummymo (23706)
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21 Mar 08
I wondered about this as my youngest is comes home with stickers every day and I thought all kids got them now but seemingly in her school they only get them if they have done really well, either with work, or through their attitude so I am proud of her too! I do believe in the incentive awards but I am not sure I like it being money prizes - I like the fact they get to do something as a group , something they will have good memories of! I also like the fact that if their behaviour and attitude are so bad they do not get to attend things like school disco's etc, positive reinforcement of good behaviour as well as learning that there are consequences if their behaviour is not so good!
I am so sorry to here that your son is having these problems sweety and I couldn't agrre more that every child should have the chance for a good education and notjust treated by their teachers as another class that has to be taught til their work day ends!
I do hope that things pick up for your son soon sweety and I am sure that if anyone can help him to turn things around then you can! xxx
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Oh boy Mummymo :))) I think that the stupid gene kicks in when they turn 13. My son who has never caused a minutes grief has now been in 2 fights in the last month, had in school suspension, nearly got me into a grand rawl with a woman as you know this weekend. But then today I got an invitation from the Registry of Academic Excellence here in the state to have him registered. This will help through his high school and college scholarships, know how to place him and show what his strengths are.
To answer your question yes I do believe children need incentives. Having raised 2 other boys I realize how hard it is to keep them focused, so this acknowledgment in a registry just might be what he needs right now to enforce his thoughts about being on the right track.
I know he is no angel, he is after all a boy, but our children need to know they have our support when they are trying to tell the truth, they need to know we have their backs.
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@mummymo (23706)
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18 Mar 08
LOL I hear you my dear friend but I do have to say I think he had extenuating circumstances in both fights did he not? Wow that Registry of Academic Excellence sounds like a wonderful thing - we don't have anything like that here! I do agree that we have to support them , they have to know we will be there for them and like you I also believe that although they have our support they also have to realise that their consequences have actions, like being grounded! I use tv and computer bans as well , that really isa devious punishment! lol Oh yeah and the almost brawl wasn't Jakes fault - it was that contemptable womans! Hugs Sweetheart and give Jake a big well done Hi 5 from me! xxx
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
21 Mar 08
Anyone would be proud to have such a son Morag. He is simply a product of his loving Mum who is always showing a good attitude no matter what. You have such a loving caring giving nature to your friends, it must be even moreso for your two lovely children.
I think the stamp idea as currency is a fabulous idea. It teaches kids the values of so many things.
@mummymo (23706)
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21 Mar 08
Thank you so much for that my darling friend! I do try to be that way with the kids but they are the ones who try my patience more than anyone else! Having said that even if I have just given them a telling off they both still turn around and say that I am the best Mummy and they love me loads! Blessed I am MsTickle! He had a wonderful time at the go kart racing and I do think the stamps are a wonderful scheme! You know I met one of his teachers from last year when I had his sister at the drs yesterday and she couldn't praise him enough - mind you when she seen him in school later she told him that she had said to me he needed a good slap as he was such an awful child! lol He didn't believe her! Love and hugs from us all! xx
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
17 Mar 08
That is awesome news mummymo. Good on your son for doing so well in school.
At my son's school the students have the opportunity to earn tickets for being responsible, caring, respectful, honest, and cooperative. At the end of each month, a student from each class is choosen from the ticket box to attend the Pizza Lunch with the Principal and Vice. Madison was lucky to have been chosen last month and was also given a certificate. I asked him how the pizza lunch went and he said it was ok LOL I don't think he spoke much. I think he would of enjoyed it if someone else from his classroom went with him too.
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@mummymo (23706)
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18 Mar 08
Thanks sweetheart! I think those are very similar principles to what Niall and Niamh's schools both use! I remember you talking about Madisons special lunch! I think a few of Nialls friends are going so that kind of makes up for the fact that one of the girls who is also going was good friends with him from they were 5 up til they were about 10 when all of a sudden she astarted disliking him cos he wasn't 'cool'! To give him his due he doesn't let her attitude towards him get to her although even her best friend has told her she is just being nasty! I am sure though he won't let her spol his day out! xxx
@mummymo (23706)
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17 Mar 08
Thank you Mom! He can't get online at school at the moment because they moved into a new building and they have set up some kind of signal blockers that are affecting internet access and all sorts of things , for the teachers as well as the pupils and can't seem to get it sorted properly! I have given him the wireless adaptor for his pc but we are waiting on David investigating why it won't work! I am sure you will see his email in your inbox soon and he will tell you all about it! Hugs xxx
@kelleydian (175)
• United States
17 Mar 08
I'm not sure if the school in our town does offer rewards for work well done. My children were all home educated. But that being said, you bet I offered rewards for work well done! Probably not as often as I should have and nothing as elaborate as what your school does.
I personally think it's a great idea. It helps teach them about goal setting. My husband is part owner of a small corporation. If the company makes a good profit for that month he and his partner give themselves bonuses. (After they've taken the overall financial picture of the company into consideration) So I say that giving children rewards for work well done is a good thing.
However, they need to be taught to do good regardless of reward or no. And it sounds like your son is doing just fine.
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@mummymo (23706)
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17 Mar 08
Kelleydian thank you for sharing on this! i am not a fan of home schooling but that is more about social development than anything else adn I really admire anyone who can and does teach their children at home - that takes a lot of hard work, dedication and patience! I don't think that incentives and rewards have to be as elaborate as this to be effective, a small certificate or even just telling them why you are proud of them helps too! Good to meet you sweety and welcome to mylot , I do hope that you enjoy it here! xxx
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Wow mummymo! That's GREAT!! You can pat yourself on the back because you raised one great boy!! Wish he could be like that at home though but yes it's typical for teenagers to be like that. And schools around here don't do things like that but it would be really cool if they did. So many kids would try even harder to do the right thing so they'll be included in these types of events. Way to go!!
@mummymo (23706)
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17 Mar 08
Thanks so much Cats! I guess I am doing something right with both of my kids cos they both behave very well at school and with other people - I guess if they are gonna play up (which all kids do sometimes) I would rather they did it at home than elsewhere! lol I think incentive and reward schemes are great at schools - specially if the kids are rewarded for behaviour and attitude rather than just on academic work! I am lucky as my kids are bright and want to learn but not all kids are academic and these schemes help to motivate them too! xxxx
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Mar 08
I think incentive plans are really great as they encourage kids to do their best and they get a pat on the back for it. I hope your son gets a chance sometime to race his stepdad.sounds like you have a great family and you are being a great mom.
@mummymo (23706)
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17 Mar 08
I think when kids try their best they deserve to be praised and rewarded! I am sure that come summer they will be ablwe to race each other - he is already several inches taller than his stepdad just now! Thank you so much for the compliments Hatley , we have our ups and downs like every family but I have a lot to be grateful fo with my kids and my other half! xxxx
@Ldyjarhead (10233)
• United States
17 Mar 08
My boys are now 23 and 26 so I don't really remember if they had incentives similar to this, but I think it's a great idea.
Positive reinforcement can be so much more effective than punishment. I'm happy that your son is doing so well, and I hope he knows how pleased you are.
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@mummymo (23706)
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17 Mar 08
I bet your boys are a credit to you too Ldyjarhead! I really believe in discipline and boundaries but also think that positive reinforcement used in conjunction with household rules and consequences works very well! He does know how pleased I am, I always give praise for the good things my kids do - it makes them glow - doesn't it? xxx
@queenofarms (1659)
• United States
17 Mar 08
I am all for incentive schemes. Whether it be in school or at home. I have a son thats not doing good in english..We have tried everything but incentive schemes. So I ask his teacher for some ideas and she suggested this. So I mentioned it to my husband. He view on this is why promise him something to do good at something he suppose to do anyways. So we are butting heads here.
I am happy for your son and I hope he has a good time...
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@mummymo (23706)
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17 Mar 08
I think incentive schemes are great! I know it must be frustrating that your husband isn't keen on the idea and quite a lot of people feel that way at first! It isn't that you are paying him to do what he should , you are simply offering as much encouragement as possible! Sometimes if someone is struggling with a subject they become discouraged and stop trying as they are scared of constantly getting it wrong! A little bit of encouragement, support and reassurance can go a long way! Have you tried reminding your hubby how hard it is being a child? You don't have to spend a lot of money, they could be allowed certain privileges if they do well or just be allowed extra tv time , along those lines depending on what your son enjoys! I hope you talk your husband round and that your son finds his confidence in English - I am sure he will! xxx
