If it were you, how can you make choices under this dilemma?

China
March 18, 2008 9:57pm CST
It is really confused me whether stick to living in a big city tiredly or go back to my small hometown to be an ordinary teacher.I can not make up my mind then. My boyfriend is not from the same province as mine,instead, our hometowns are rather far from each other. We fell in love one year after my college graduation,and till now it is almost two years relatioship.We are now working in Beijing, a city which living burden and working pressure are very high. We can not afford to buy even a small house of our own that the house price is roaring so rapidly.Hense,the most part of our monthly salary are paid for rent. In additional, all our daily time is spent mainly on work, we have no other time to cook a delicious meal or go somewhere to entertain ourselves.Thus our health are in the danger of worsening day by day. One more point I would say ,the serious air polltion and the terrible traffic all make me very very tired of Beijing. I really dream of backing to my hometown and being a highshool english teacher there for a peachful life. but at the same time, I have no idea on how to deal with my boyfriend. His major is industry automatic control.It will be impossible for him to find a job related to this for him in my small hometown. I feel so hopeless. How nice if you could offer me some suggestions!
1 person likes this
2 responses
@ratyz5 (7829)
• Philippines
20 Mar 08
It would be best if you two had a discussion with this matter. Seeing that you have pointed out the disadvantages that the two of you are experiencing there in the city. Income often spent on rent, job exhaustion endangers health aside from urban pollution. A suggestion from an outsider like me would probably consider the idea of going back to that small hometown, for better health and working conditions yet, you still have to keep in mind your partner's situation as well. So, as I stated before, discuss this in detail such troubles with your partner so that he could also have his say about the matter and together, you two may find a solution wherein not only one benefits but both
• China
20 Mar 08
Thank you for your advice! We have talked on this issue and quarreled several times. Since his hometown is in north China, mine is south.He is reluctant to live with me in my hometown.As traditional as most chinese, it will be unacceptable for a boy goes to his girlfriend's home and lives there the whole life. We quarreled yesterday night.I insisted to work back while he is unwilling to go with me. Do we have to say goodbye to each other finally?
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7829)
• Philippines
20 Mar 08
Hmmm, he does not insist that you go with him to his hometown at North China to work as a teacher there instead of going back to your hometown at the South? He still insists that you two stay still in your current location and continue living there? What were his reasons for not moving? Did he mention any solutions to the problem? Sorry if I just kept on asking
• China
20 Mar 08
He had asked me to go back to his hometown and work there. But I want to go my own home in terms of living with my parents. I am a girl really sensitive and dependent on my family.As for me, only can family that make me warm. Am I selfish then? I don't know,actually, i regret a lot for leaving my parents for working in Beijing.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Mar 08
Just like you, I came from a small town and went to the city, study and work in there. I understand your concerns of financial things and pollution. You better talk to your partner regarding your concerns and your suggestĂ­ons. Its a good idea that the two of you should sit down and discuss your future together. You weigh and list the pros and cons of the two sides. Check which side is more of advantage to both of you, and the two of you should agreed to it.
• China
20 Mar 08
It is no use making discussion any more since all of us are unwilling to compromise that whether he comes with me or I come with him. Each one do not want to live too far from their hometown. I am homesick,in fact. Anyhow, thank you very much for your kind advice.