pls solve my problem.....

India
March 19, 2008 9:46am CST
In my previous discussion i asked that can a person fall in love with two person......Now i m giving u the reson and wants ur suggestion wat i hav to do.... i fall in love with a girl......our relation started with friendship and after that we started loving each other...but after some time i came to know that she is 8 years older then me...i was shocked.but i was not in the stage to give up that relation...after three years ..i met a girl she is so cute nad she was my very gud friend of mine....she satrted loving me......and i dont know why i m so much attracted to her...now i cant spent a single day without talking to her.....Now i hav two girls in my life....ranjita ,first one and shweta the second one.......I dont understand wat i hav to do...if i will marry ranjita ...my future, my studies,my childrens and will suffer and because she is not very much educated ..and i m only 20 years i need to minimum 5 -6 years to setteled down ...and on other side i hav shweta she is so innocent and so muh caring she never expect from me anything...i dont know wat i hav to do....i cant live anyone.....pls help me and give me a suggestion........
3 people like this
6 responses
@lexus54 (3576)
• Singapore
20 Mar 08
Firstly, I think that you have to shoulder the responsibility for the dilemma you are faced with, because while you are having a relationship with one girl, you allowed yourself to start another with a different girl. The fact that after 3 years being with Ranjita, you still felt the urge to be close with another girl, and that only reveals one thing: you are either insecure with Ranjita or you have some doubts that Ranjita is the girl for you. Based on what you have described, there are some things that have made you doubtful. One is the age difference, and the other is her educational level. You may be concerned with the first because girls generally mature faster than guys, and this difference coupled with the 8 year age gap (she being older) may make your relationship a little uncomfortable for you as the years go by and both of you get older. Also while you think about your future marital bliss, the thought of Ranjita's low educational level weighs on you in terms of how she can contribute financially to the family and home. Now here comes Shweta who may not present these issues to you. You didn't mention her age so I assume she is around your age. On the outside, she may appear to be a better choice for you, but really only your heart knows who you love more between the two, and who you feel you can spend the rest of your life with. You may need more time to discover this, because sometimes knowing someone for only a relatively short time may not allow you to make such a decision. You are only 20 years old now, and as you have mentioned, a marriage consideration is another 5 to 6 years away, so there is still time to know Ranjita and Shweta, and size them up (if you know what I mean). Perhaps at this time, you should not take these relationships too seriously, and use the next one or two years to know each of them better, then make up your mind later. There's still time, from what I perceive of your situation. Also you are from India (right?), and your parents may be the traditional sort who wants a hand at choosing your life partner. I know there are also arranged marriages in many Indian families, and I am not sure if yours is going to be like this. If so, then will your eventual marriage partner be of your choice or your parents? This may be something you have to deal with, where the decision is beyond your control, I really don't know. For now, my advice to you is not to take these relationships too seriously, get to know both better and make that decision as to who you wish to build a serious relationship with at a slightly later age. You should let your studies complete first and start building up a career, so that by the time you are ready to settle down, you are more financially ready to do so.
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18453)
• India
20 Mar 08
Do you think there can be any end to the dilemma? don't get me wrong, but why you have engaged two girls in your life? if you knew the first one is 8 years elder to you and you can't get with her, why you engaged her? also in the meantime fell for another girl with whom you are in very much love. just ask yourself why two women? then decide whom to dump and whom to continue with
1 person likes this
@laiza14 (593)
• Philippines
22 Mar 08
woah.. that problem is tough. taht's a hard situation. you must chose one of them only. the one who's worth your love. and after choosing her. just stick to that. and everything will follow. you know its really hard leaving someone, but i know that you love another more than the other. so , just decide, and si\tick to your decision..
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 08
Just follow your heart, choose carefully. You had made it sour at first time, then you have no option but to continue the sour part. You have no choice but to leave one of them. If not, don't choose both, that's more better fair game.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
20 Mar 08
okay, so you are saying that you love both of them? how is that possible? have you tried to figure out if your love for ranjita is in the same degree as shweta? there must be a difference in it. you cannot love them both the same amount. it is really unfair for all of them cause they are expecting that you are faithful to them. i think do do not really love ranjita as what you say cause you managed to "fall" for someone else. and how can you love shweta if your heart is still tied to ranjita....
• United States
19 Mar 08
Wow! Your in a bad situation there. it's too bad that you allowed feelings to grow so strongly for shweta but here is what you should do: While you are alone, think long and hard on both women then write on two seperate sheets of paper the good and bad points of both women. Write how each one would better your life. think about the plans you have for your future and decide which one of these women fit into your plans. It sounds as if they both possess qualities that you like very much so it's not going to be easy but you have to do something.