my son hits him self
March 19, 2008 10:13am CST
My son will 2 years old soon and when he dosent get his way or we say no or especially at the mall when he wants it his way and its NO he throws him self to tghe floor face frist and smaches him head on the floor sements carpet hard wooded floor and i walk away but i think that its not correct for me to walK away and if i try to go talK to him and Pik him up he just gets heavyer and dosent move yesterday we put away the chok and he fliped out and he smashed his head so hard on the sement it even hurt me and i felt so bad cause he looks like a kid with special needs hittin him self i slaped his hand and told him not to give him self booboos.... but the i started to ry cry cause I dont know were this act comes from ones he smacked him slef and it just drives me razy every one says it will pass on he will stop but I want him to stop now and not even start what do i do? I wonna be the best mom to him but I feel like Im eaither to easy goign or to demanding
3 people like this
19 Mar 08
Hi, It is not going to work out, if you hit him in his hand or if you talk to him harshly. Sit with him when he is in a sober mood, ask him, what will happen if he hurts himself. Is it paining in any of his body parts. If he says yes, then explain him that the pain is caused because of his actions. Kids are very good at understanding. He will come out of it slowly if you are also a bit patient. If you are harsh then you cannot get the results you want.
19 Mar 08
My little one also bangs his head occassionally. He used to do it more, but is growing out of the habit a little now thank goodness. I don't think you should worry too much as it's really quite common & your son will grow out of it. When you think about it, it's no wonder they get frustrated at this age. They can't communicate with us as they'd like, and want to be able to do all the things that aren't allowed. I think I might be tempted to whack my head on the ground in those circumstances too! I don't know how to stop your son from hitting his head. Nothing I have tried worked with my own son, he just grew out of it on his own. Personally I think that giving him too much attention when he's doing it isn't a good idea as he may then learn that it's a good way of getting attention / cuddles. However, I know that's no easy advice to follow when you are in public! Best of luck with it.
• United States
19 Mar 08
See my daughter somtimes hits herself when she is mad. also she pulls her hair and bites herself.. Not so much now. When he gets like that you shouldnt walk away,wich i understand why you did cause you really didnt know what to do and what not to do in this situation...when he starts getting like that. sit him in time out. and tell him when you calm down and stop doing what you are doing (throwing a fit) then you may come out but untill then you can sit there.. sit close by and when u see him go to smack himself catch him. say somthing like hey what are you doing with a stern voice. if that doesnt work. sit closer to him and everytime he goes to do it. stop him from doing it by like grabbing his arm. .. talking is a really big thing even though somtimes you dont think they understand. THEY DO there just playing you for stupid.LMAO. i have learned the hard way. Once you get to the point were he goes to hit himself or smash his head and ur always there to stop him. hes ganna be like psshh whats the points shes just ganna stop me anyways... it will take time mabey a few weeks depending on how hard headed your son it.. but i promis it will come to pass as long as you stay faithful to ytou words to him. If you wish to talk more about it you can always email me:)
19 Mar 08
Welcome to the terrible 2's. This is the stage in a childs life where they try to assert themselves as the boss. Be firm when saying no and put on a manly type of voice to let him/her know you are being serious. With regards to him hitting himself, I would certainly keep an eye on that incase they smash there nose or teeth.
• United States
22 Mar 08
well, i was that way to...besides smacking myself, but i would fall down to the floor kicking and screaming when i didn't get my way. i did it twice and what broke me was that mother very respectfully picked me up, took me to the car and tore my butt up. the next time i went to fall on the ground i remembered that and immediately straightened myself up and told my mother " i didn't fall all the way to the ground". she laughed and said she was proud and that was that. i never did it again. your gonna have to be extremely firm with him because he thinks that by doing this he is either gonna get his way eventually or it's caused enough attention from everyone that you will give in at least the next time from embarrassment. just be strong and pray a whole lot. you've definitely got your hands full. God bless
21 Mar 08
My daughter is almost 2 she has been known to headbutt anything she can when in a temper, we generally ignore it ive found that neither of my girls will purposefully hurt themselves so while it might sting a little they are not doing themselves any harm it just looks painful and i find the tears are more from frustration than anything else. At this age they struggle to tell us what is wrong I read it was something to do with the part of the brain which deals with frustration not being developed well enough at this age so instead of dealing with their frustrations they just flip out, nothing wrong about this all perfectly normal I imagine. Distraction can work if the child is got to quick enough but I find once my daughter is on full go nothing stops her we ignore it remove anything she might actually harm herself on and this normally works. Soon as it stops she gets the cuddles and kisses and we forget about it. It will pass my 4 year old doesnt do it anymore as she can communicate with me as to why she is angry rather than hitting out, it takes time but it will improve and the best thing is to be consistant how ever you chose to deal with this behaviour make that choice and stick to it, its less confusing and as a result will create less tantrums if a child is understanding of what will happen every time
19 Mar 08
Yes - the Terrible Twos as mentioned above. Poor you! But it will pass so be patient. The 'consultation' method will work in time but the quick method is to smack his backside and give him something to really cry about and shock him into realising that bad behaviour is not acceptable. Start early this way and life will be easier later on. They will know where the limit is.
19 Mar 08
i have read it and i will say it is not good u have to make him cool and try to make him getting control at his temper. but i will advise u first try not to say "NO" to him and secondly if he hurt himself then u dont go to pick him i know it is hard for u but it will good for u and ur child also. just tackle it and tackle it as soon as possible. thanks a lot. and more over if hurt himself u dont poay attention he think it is ur weakness so he do it again an again.
• United States
19 Mar 08
This is a very hard stage in the parenting process. But temper tantrums are just something that 2 yr olds do. The poor things just don't have any other way of communicating their feelings. I agree that you need to ignore it the best you can (as you are by walking away) but I always felt that it was my responsiblity to keep my son from hurting himself. At times like when on cement, I would just pick him up and let him throw his fit in my arms being cafeful not to let him think I was loving on him or rewarding him in anyway for his behavior. Eventually they learn that they are not getting anything from that behavior and they will try something different. I caution you not to reinforce his behavior at this time by slapping his hand. When he is angry and then sees you hit his hand he might begin to think that hitting is the appropriate thing to do when he is angry. Stay strong, dear chilenita this time will pass. Just focus on the wonderful times when it is not happening.
24 Mar 08
This can be a sign of frustration, cause he doesn't know how to commmunicate/explain how & what he is feeling.You shouldn't react stay close by so that it ensures he really doesn't hurt himself.I go through this with my son.He's almost 11 He is diagnosed with ADD & ODD. Some can be learned behavior.If he has seen another child get what he wanted by doing this.For instance in a store, a child is throwing a tantrum cause he wants his parents to buy a toy,they end up buying it cause they are embarressed,afraid of what others may think. Remove yourself from the problem take the child outside the store& tell him unless he behaves ,You will leave the store. If he agrees to control himself try again if he reacts again in an inappropiate behavior LEAVE the Store.This is an example may help.We have been through a class. Best thing to do is ignore it, once he sees he's not going to get his way.He may stop. Always consider possible medical problems. Best Wishes! Hope Things get Better.
• Garden Grove, California
24 Mar 08
welcome to the terrible twosand a very normal little boy and a good mom if you weren't you would not be so worried. He will grow out of it in a few months and be his adorable self again. so you need to just relax and not torture yourself. If you are really horribly concerned it would not hurt to see his pediatrician but I do not think this is anything to worry about It has been a long time since my son was two but I remember how upset he got when hedid not get his way and it did pass. good luck and god bless