How do you make friends in real time?

United States
March 21, 2008 1:57am CST
I always thought that to make friends all you had to do was just be friendly and smile and listen to people, then you start hanging around together sometimes and doing stuff and then you are friends. I am just talking about friends, nothing more, of the same gender as you are usually. Well what if you do all that stuff and people are nice but no one wants to hang out with you? I don't mean that they are being mean or anything but that they are busy with their own lives and families and evidently have no time for you. But sometimes that's lonely, not having real time friends. So how do you make friends that you can hang out with sometimes?
2 people like this
13 responses
@jeanniemay (1803)
• Philippines
22 Mar 08
I don't know if I all my friends are real ones. But I consider few of them to be real. They tell me with all honesty what they don't like and what pisses them off. They value and respect your opinions towards them and see it as an opportunity for change. The ones I consider as real friends are my old friends who have seen my journey in the past, have sailed along with me, and hurt me but remained loyal to our friendship. Friendship grows as we learn, and share our lives with our friends. I make friends by being honest, I tell them what their faults are and accept my own fault too. It doesn't mean giving favors all the time. Each of us got priorities and we have to respect and value that also. Traveling through life with friends is not all about hanging out and problems solving, the essence of it for me is having to journey through life in pain or happiness with somebody at your side to guide and make you strong! Spread the love! Keep the essence of friendship alive!
1 person likes this
@annieroos (1846)
• United States
22 Mar 08
I think the reason its so hard to make real friends is because everyone is so judgemental.. they never want to take time and just meet the real you.. but its possible.. there are plenty of people who are great people who don't have friends.. but now a days everyone is always so busy... Hope you find that real time friend i know they are out there.. there is a friend or two for everyone. GL
1 person likes this
@wdwbib (20)
• China
22 Mar 08
That is really a problem.when we are lonely and want to talk to friends,they may be not convenient,and we also do not have the heart to distube him or her.To get rid of the bad mood ,i choose to do some sports,football especially,which makes me tired and forget the boring things.
1 person likes this
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
22 Mar 08
I always end up meeting new people along the way, talking with them is a enough for me and I know that most of these folks are also doing their best to share something worth conversing of. Just like here on mylot, we all know that we don't personally know one another but we somehow establish a relationship with each other and sometimes most of us here treat our fellow mylottians more than just FRIENDS.. But that's just an example, I'm a person who always try and seek something new. I am not hesitant in interacting with other people, as long as I know my intention is good. I have friends who are pretty busy with their personal lives now, but there are still more out there that are willing to share and spend some time with me, especially during weekends..
@tjades (3592)
• Jamaica
21 Mar 08
This can be a bit hard to do. As you hinted before friends tend to change gears and move on with their lives and have little time for each other. The key I think is in making new friends. There will always be that bank of friends who time permitting will reunite when they can.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
21 Mar 08
When you are young and have no commitments having friends is a lot easier. When you become part of a couple or get married, have children, although you want to have friends it is hard because you do not always have time to just sit and talk or go out with them. You are right it is lonely not having real time friends, especially when you feel the need to just talk about absolutely nothing important, which friends seem to do. I have no friends so I know what it is like. To make friends I would say try to join some clubs of some kind, if you have an interest in something try and find a club for that interest, then you might make friends there especially if you are there because you share the same interests.
1 person likes this
@Poneet (40)
21 Mar 08
i dnt knw dear.......i hav my life tym friends my best friends.........n dey r frm wid me since we all r in school.......n at dat tym i didnt realize dat he is my best frnd n alll dat stuff.........bt later wen i grow up n matured n deey also............we realize dat we r friends forever............bt at 1 tym i ws wid my onl;y1 best frnd.....n i decided to reunion our group by goin sme trip n dat ws d trip wer we all came close.........all pranks n vedio n pics....al dat......its was great dat 2 days in our life ....n nw we hav a grup of 6ppl...........like forever............dude its up 2 u.......dere is a one guy in group who make all in touch wid 1another.......may b dat cn be u..........u gt many frnd in lyf its up 2 u.......whom u wanna wid.........make a grup nt only one....................."dere r many like its only one best friend in ur life it s_ck....go for it....god bless u"
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60884)
• United States
21 Mar 08
I find that single people hang out with single people, married people hang out with married people. Sure, there are exceptions, but on the whole that is the case. I also look for people with simular interests, I went to a few science fiction conventions and made friends there.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
21 Mar 08
I actually don't make friends much. I'm really shy and tend to keep to myself. I have a couple of friends that I've known forever but that's about it. !!HAPPY EASTER!! **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
1 person likes this
@money4rs (55)
• Malta
21 Mar 08
If you want to be friends with a particular person just try to talk and hang out with that person more. If he doesnt accept ur invitations just try someone else...its like trial and error...but dont let that person (first person) just get out of ur mind! The more friends u have the better!
1 person likes this
@goergineo (1498)
• Jordan
21 Mar 08
this is occur spontenously. it does not need any pre-thinking. if you could forget the hanging-out idea. someday a good friend will call you and ask you for that. best luck
1 person likes this
@tryxiness (4548)
• Philippines
21 Mar 08
meeting friends - friends
There will really time a come when you thought you do not need friends to hang out with because your existing friends suffice such need, but, in reality meeting new friends can be quite fun, it's just that you realize it's not the high schoolic type or set-up, like hanging out often. Meeting friends in the office or in a certain community can really lead you to another part of you that you have never realized that ever existed. You can make friends with people in the office or in joining organizations, you will find people who have the same wants and hobbies as yours, and also meeting friends online in real life can also be fun.:)
• United States
21 Mar 08
I've made friends from the friends I've made through work or school or outside activities I was involved in but I keep my friends to a minimum. I have a full schedule as it is and it sometimes takes a lot for me to be able to "hang out" with anyone so the less people I have to choose between the less people I will disappoint from always saying I can't.