How do you deal with the relationship with your mother-in-law or daughter-in-law
By zlesing
@zlesing (487)
China
March 22, 2008 4:27am CST
Yestoday, I joined in a hot discussion in other forum,it was about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. And the cold war between them is common in their daily life, at least in China.
Someone can get well along with each other, but there still have conflictions. I think this is unavoidable. All we can do is reduce the conflictions as possible as we can. And many people mentioned the tolerance and endurance, of course they are important in dealing with this issue. And I think the communication between the two people can also make a great effect to improve the relationship. Of course the man between them plays a important part in dealing with this matter, doesn't he?
Yet, I haven't get married, but I'll try my best to get well along with my future mother-in-law. Hope my future mother-in-law has the same wish too.
And what about you? Do you have a cold war with you mother-in-law or daughter-in-law? How do you deal with that? And the gentlemen, what will you do when this happen?
Or there's any good ideas to keep a good relationship between them?
Share with us.
Have a good day~
1 person likes this
4 responses
@mark17779 (667)
•
22 Mar 08
My mom and my Partner are very close. At times it feels like they are mother and daughter and I am the in law. They get on very well and yap on the phone nearly every day.
Yet myself and my mother in law just get on for the sake of it. We do not have the same relationship where we can confide in or talk to all day. Simply get on to keep the peace.
1 person likes this
@vijigopi (991)
• United States
22 Mar 08
My MIL is a naturally good woman, and she treats me well. I lived with my in-laws when I was in India and when I get back, I am still going to live with them for the rest of my life. Though I have had my share of bitter experiences soon after my marriage, I have come to realise that all people are imperfect and its impossible to call anybody completely 'good' or 'bad'. Just as you have negatives in your character, other people are also bound to have the same. It becomes a problem when each party is deliberately trying to degrade the other. Otherwise even in a difference of opinion, if you are mature enough to agree to disagree, then the relationship will be smooth. It is always important to consider the views of the other with an open heart...the key is to think that the other person has an independant viewpoint, rather than thinking "she is determined not to agree with me". And if you can just keep your mouth shut without much disagreeing then, I think it could be a piece of cake.
@jaclyng (19)
• United States
6 May 08
I think the man in between them makes all the difference. I saw my parents relationship almost torn apart for years because of how badly my father's family treated my mother and the only thingthat saved them was my dad finally telling them he couldn't deal with them if they weren't going to be nice to his wife.
In my own marriage, I get along great with my mother in law for the most part, but she has put me in some dificult spots because she refuses to asssociate at al with my husband's father or paternal grandparents (mil and fil are divorced) and luckily, my husband and I are on the same page that we aren't going to cater to her foolishness that she can't be at our son's b-day parties or the like because my FIL is there. If I had to throw 2 parties or whatever everytime I would go crazy! But because my husband backs up my chocies when it comes to her, it makes it easier to get along cause I don't feel he is siding against me.
@sunny7758521 (339)
• China
17 Nov 08
The world could always use a little more gentleness. Tolerance is the shortest answer.
