Apology

@SViswan (12072)
India
March 24, 2008 5:27am CST
Do you apologize to your children when you make a mistake or do you let things be when you realize you are wrong and hope they'll understand?
5 responses
• India
24 Mar 08
I apologise to my boy when I feel I am wrong Sandhya but the results have not always been encouraging. It seems that sometimes he is taking advantage of the situation if he feels or realizes that mummum has made a mistake and is apologetic. I get very confused at times like this …I want to be both a parent and a friend to him and I don’t understand to which I should give more importance. Other than this, small accidents always end with ‘I’m sorry’, that’s never an issue. But when I am really tough on him (both verbally and with the hand) and later when the situation has diffused and he has understood his mistake, I feel like apologizing for shouting at him. But as I have said, I have done it and many times he seems to have taken advantage of me.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12072)
• India
27 Mar 08
I understand...because my mother used to do it to me...and I kind of tuned her out after a point. I felt she really wasn't sorry...if she was...she would have made the effort not to have done it in the first place....or shown concern in other ways too. And the apology was very frequent....so I didn't feel it was important...I felt she was taking the easy way out....giving vent to her frustrations and then apologizing. If you apologize for the shouting...make sure you do not do it again....maybe with his help...ask him to give you a signal when you are about to shout...then you can calm yourself before you talk to him about the issue. You can also avoid an apology which he doesn't value anyways.
@anetteh (3591)
• Sweden
24 Mar 08
Hello SViswan. God issue. I feel if you make a mistake, you should say that to your children. It is about teach them that you are not perfect, that we are not perfect, that we can make mistakes, we also teach them to say they can say they are sorry for making mistakes. If you do not say it to them, how are they suppose to know. Not say you did wrong can be a mistake it self, and make misunderstandings in the future. It can become a big thing for them. You are there leader, You are there teacher and should teach them right. If I am wrong, I say that to my kids. It make them understand that I am not perfect, that I can also make mistakes. the fact is we are not perfect, we do make mistakes. Saying I am sorry and apologize is strong and will make your relationship god and healthy.
@SViswan (12072)
• India
27 Mar 08
You are right...we are the ones to guide them and show them the right path. But as you know, the previous generations never apologized...they were sole authority and a child couldn't go against what they said even if they were wrong.
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
24 Mar 08
I most certainly do apologize to them..I'd be a hypocrite if I didnt! I demand that they apologize when they are in the wrong so how could I not show the same respect ya know..
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12072)
• India
27 Mar 08
Yes, it is hypocrisy when we expect an apology from them but don't give one where it is due. It also is unfair...and the kids assume that as they grow up, they can do as they wish and not apologize because they are adults. They also lose the respect they have for the adults around them when we don't apologize.
@Polly1 (12649)
• United States
25 Mar 08
I apologize to them and also to the grandkids. How are they going to learn to apologize if they are not taught by example.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Mar 08
I do apologize, I want her to understand that it's OK to make mistakes, and also that you should always apologize when you do.