Is being possessive of husband good or bad?

@deepti15 (1190)
India
March 25, 2008 1:39am CST
In my opinion, possessiveness is good, this shows you are afraid of losing him 'cause you love him and treasure him. however, there is a fine line between possessiveness and OVER-possessiveness which most people fail to realize that the fine line has been crossed. thus, possessiveness is good but over-possessiveness is bad. But it's very hard to define what is possessivness and over possessiveeness. I mean there is no line to decide. What do u say?
1 person likes this
21 responses
@vipulchawla (2220)
• India
26 Mar 08
There is a very fine line of difference between possesiveness and over-possesiveness. And its eually differnt to distinguish in which state you are. Being possesive for a person you love is good but at the same time be sure that you are not bounding him/her. As a guy i must say that i would feel good if my gf/wife feels possesive for me but at the same time i will feel bounded if she starts putting restrictions over me due to her possesiveness. It all lies on how much you trust your partner.don't give him/her any chance to betray you but give him/her enough freedom to follow his/her heart. Its all upto you what limitations you set to decide the line between the two.
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
26 Mar 08
yeah freedom and space is the thing which every person deserves. restrictions are like hell for every guy as they have to mould themselves according to other person ( wife) or family's demand.
1 person likes this
• India
26 Mar 08
So u do understand a guy's feelings.. So do you feel possesive or over-possesive for your husband?
• India
26 Mar 08
i agree, i saw some girls being over-possessive and my friend is already facing some problems because of his over-possessive girl friend .... even if we are in a party he has to talk when he gets a call ... that's too much naa?
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
26 Mar 08
girls are generally over possessive. There is a feeling os insecurity among them that they can loose their partner to any other female. I don't think that this feeling is ever going to end.
@arjun999 (1004)
• India
26 Mar 08
I think it is fine up to a paricular limit. If you cross the limit your husband may get irritated. You can see signs that you are being over possesive and you should try to notice them. Even though it may be unintentional overpossessiveness may make life hell for your husband. But some amount of possesiveness is also necessary as your husband must feel that he is loved by you. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
26 Mar 08
Very true, some amount of possesiveness is also necessary as your husband must feel that he is loved by you. Thank you for responding.
@aleth13 (45)
• Guam
26 Mar 08
when you realize that your whole word is revolving around your special someone, i guess you can consider that as being possessive. over possessive(if there is such a word) on the other hand simply means that your life is your partner. or to put it in a better word, it's like that person becomes the "air" that you breathe every single moment of your life and you're forgetting who YOU really are..
1 person likes this
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
26 Mar 08
Yeah, I think he is oxygen for me. I can't think life without my dear hubby. Thank you for responding.
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
25 Mar 08
No possesivenes,No excitement of a relationship. But if with too much possesiveness is NO good at all.
1 person likes this
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
26 Mar 08
yeah without possessiveness life won't be fun. My husband is not over possessive but he takes care of me.
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
25 Mar 08
i never want to have an over-possessive husband... i think that being possessive a bit is alright in a relationship as long as you don't cross the line...
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
26 Mar 08
Yeah , even I would hate if my husband becomes over possessive. I would love him to be little possessive but never cross the line as u said.
• India
7 Mar 11
possessiveness is not only you love , care and don't want to loose your near and dear one it also signifies that you don't trust them fully... if you think that you are going to loose someone then its fear.... and if you are giving unwanted stricts to your beloved one just because you don't want to loose him/her then its possesivenes.... so in my point of view you must trust your beloved one... if you do the same your relationships lasts forever.
• Norway
25 Mar 08
I think most of the people are possessive to their loveones because they are afraid of losing them. Some also have become possessive because they have cheated once, and he/she doesnt trust him/her anymore, so he/she would keep an eye on everything that he/she does. But you have to set the limit of being possessive. Dont cross the line of being over possessive where you tried reading his personal mails or the sms on her phone, deciding on what he would wear according to what you think not too "sexy"for him, not allowing him to go out/party without you, and being jealous just seeing him talking to another woman. That would make you lose him, for sure!!!
• Norway
8 Dec 08
hi.. i just knew that i got the BR for this discussion..thanks a bunch..have a happy christmas..
@subha12 (18453)
• India
25 Mar 08
it is very natural of being possessive in relationship. but doing anything beyond limit can only harm. i have seen this in many cases where lots of possessiveness gives rise to suspicion even without reason. this can harm relationship.
@dio123 (1790)
• India
11 Dec 08
I am totally agree with you, I also feel the same, being too much of possesiveness may cause distance in relationships
@nehaaaa (1748)
• India
29 Mar 08
Possessiveness is good in a relationship...its aslo a sign of caring n loving dat person...even our parnter loves the feeling of possessivenss as it shows how much you love dat person...But again Over-Possessivenss is very bad as it breaks a relationship n ever front person gets irritated....
@tjades (3592)
• Jamaica
28 Mar 08
Initially when I read the topic I thought, of course possessiveness is bad but the body of your post made me stop and think. I do agree with you that possessiveness is good and that there is that thin line which should not be crossed. Afterall if what most of us display is not possessiveness then what is it?
• India
28 Mar 08
I think there is a difference between possesiveness and over possessiveness... V r possessive bcoz we have a true love for our partner... Saying that we are over possessive means we donot have trust on our partner, and want to know each and every detail of what he does and thinks!!! So being possessive is good and beleive me our partner too likes of v being possessive towards him/her!!!
@jeanniemay (1803)
• Philippines
26 Mar 08
I think being possessive is one word for selfishness. A husband with that trait just wanted all the attention and all the love accorded him. Somewhat selfish. Love should be given freely and should not be possessed. With regards to over possessiveness, I don't think that would be something healthy in a relationship as well. Every human being has the right to decide how much love and care given to somebody else, if someone urges more for it that a person cannot give, it will just be asking the person to love in the prison cells of selfish desires and will.
@ruby222 (4848)
26 Mar 08
As you say a ery fine line between being possesive and obssesive...each of us need space to breathe..i know if i dont have my own time i feel swamped. In being possessive it can actually be smothering...depriving the person of their individuality. A friend of mine was terribly possessive...she wanted hubby with her in everything...but then he was poorly....he started having panic attacks...these stemmed from her behaviour. now thats quite sad
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
26 Mar 08
Sometimes its good because you are just trying to protect your partner but bad in times when you really push to the limits with disrepect with your partner. Not to much I should say
26 Mar 08
possesiveness is not good ppl have to be allowed to breathe and be themselves being possesive or in a possesive relationship is stifling,and will eventually cause the break up of the relationship..But that's just my opinion.
@peierlin (57)
• China
26 Mar 08
I think it depends on the characteristic of your housband. If he likes some degree of control, and likes the feelings of being cared, then this is fine. However, if he is a man of male chauvinist, and hates tight control, then it might be better to give him more freedom. Also, the degree of possessiveness should be proper, this might be your job to observe it.
@Courtom (288)
• Canada
25 Mar 08
I also read that being jealous can be good as long as you are doing it the correct way! yes, apparently there is a correct way... If for example, your spouse has an attractive male/or female friend that flirts etc. You can be jealous in a negative or positive way. Saying to your partner "I really hate the way you to flirt together, it gets me soo angry..." is BAD... "I hate the way SHE flirts with you.." is better. You are showing that you are angry, not with your partner, but with his or her co-worker/friend.
@chiyosan (30204)
• Philippines
25 Mar 08
It is okay to be possesive at a certain point that it is still healthy for the realationship, and for the two people... Sometimes when a person is possesive that only means he/she is afraid to lose that one person - but when you hold too tightly a person just might want to break free... It is only but the two persons involved who can say when it is enough. Of course i still believe that even if you are attached, you must still have your freedom (at least some of it). hehe :)
@s2a2n2 (1732)
• India
25 Mar 08
yes I do agree with you..There is thin line between possesiveness and over pessessiveness. Its hard to judge. But its always better to be normal than showing over possessiveness which always pays off...
• Malaysia
25 Mar 08
i agree with you that there is border line of the two. To me (I'm a guy), being possesive basically means my girl does not trust me and I am not doing anything to lose that trust to her. So it is bad to me. I believe in freedom (not too much, of course) and having said that, communication is important so that my partner would know what I am doing at all times and understand instead of being jeolous all the time.