Just came back from her school

United States
March 26, 2008 1:25pm CST
My daughter is doing nothing in science class. She has cut art from the time she started the new school. She is not focused in math class and failing all majors. Now she was taking adhad meds and stopped. her grades slammed down. Now I am at a stand still. I have no way to turn and have to figure something out. I made an appointment for the psychiatrist on Monday. If she can't do better on her own. It's special ed or her meds again. I will even get a pass to go to her classes and sit with her till school ends. I am not going to stand still and watch her fail school. I am going to see about sending her to school in Jamaica next year. Maybe getting beat on trees will help her. Plus one teacher says her shape is getting all the attention in her class. So now we need to buy new clothes.
2 people like this
14 responses
• United States
26 Mar 08
I hate to hear about that. If the only thing that has changed with her aside from getting off of the medicine then maybe that's the way to go in terms of getting her help. If something is going on with her beyond that, though, then I think that the psychiatrist appointment is a good way to go for that. Sitting with her at school probably wouldn't do much, at least in my opinion, other than make her feel out of place and self-conscious. That might keep her from being able to focus on school work as well. Sending her to Jamaica? That's kind of random. It would seem to me like if you were having problems with studies, you would want to be with your family instead of far away from it. I also think that teacher was out of line. Her shape has nothing to do with how well she's performing academically.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Mar 08
Thanks for the help. My daughter can be with her family in Jamaica. She has her father,aunts and a host of cousins there. My daughter has a very nice shape and gets the attention of the boys. She is paying more attention to that then her class work. She does not hand in her work as well as have any to show her teacher. She asks to go to the bathroom everyday during this period. And does not return. I told the teacher not to let her go. If she has to go that bad let her prove it by wetting herself. Then we can go to the doctor to get a doctor's note. Simple enough watch my daughter not have to go anymore. Thanks again
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (87753)
• Marion, Kansas
27 Mar 08
She needs to go to a school that requires modest uniforms.
• United States
27 Mar 08
Gifts, I am sorry that you are still having problems with your daughter. Good for you making the appointment. Just remember that even though she may hate it the best way to help her is to be active in your approach. Don't back off if she starts to fight you. I am worried for the day my girls get to that age. I am going to be the momma sitting in class making sure they are getting what they need. I wish that I had the time, energy, and education to home school and my hat goes off to all that do.
• United States
27 Mar 08
I wish like hel* I had it in me to home school her. I find i am not the best one for the job. I am sure it's a lot of work and it does some good. She need to grow with others and learn to cope with lifes changes. But being rude and not going to class is not one of them. Thanks
• United States
27 Mar 08
Wow it is definitely time to pray. See the devil tries to attack our family in so many ways. So like my pastor say when you are going through, just make sure to look out for a blessing coming your way. So do not let this defeat you, I believe that this is only a test.
• United States
27 Mar 08
I am hoping I pass this test. Or god will have to explain to me how he could give me a test I could not pass. Thanks very much
@Stiletto (4597)
26 Mar 08
I did really well at school until I hit thirteen. Then I discovered boys. The rest of my school years were just a waste of time because I lost interest totally. Of course it was a big mistake and I kicked myself for being so stupid once I got older but at that age I knew better than everyone else anyway. I don't know what would have made a difference - maybe if I'd had stricter parents I guess, that might have worked but there again I would probably just have rebelled against them anyway. So I ended up having to get my qualifications as an adult when I had enough sense to realise how important an education actually was, but life would probably have been so much easier if I had just worked harder at school! It might be something to do with her ADHD I suppose - if her grades dropped as soon as she stopped taking her meds then that suggests there's a connection. However, I think her teacher is providing a strong clue when she mentions her shape getting all the attention in class. Unlike your other respondents I don't think the teacher was out of line in saying that, because I think she was probably trying to suggest to you that other things were distracting her from schoolwork! You sound really frustrated by it all and I can understand why. Unfortunately I don't have a solution. If it becomes a real problem then sending her to live in a different environment might help, as might taking her meds again of course. I don't think sitting with her in class will help although of course it would at least ensure she was actually IN class! At least you're looking for solutions, too many parents just don't bother.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Mar 08
I am very happy you understand my concerns. I can't sit with her and embarrass her daily. But If i can't find other method to work. This has to be one of them. I am glad you understand the teacher as well. She had my daughter best interest on her mind. I will get report next week and be back to that school. She will shape up of go get what is coming next.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (87753)
• Marion, Kansas
27 Mar 08
Offer to find a way to put her in a private girls' school if she does not toe the line. Use a two pronged approach: You will have these horrible things happen to you, I guarantee, if you keep on doing what you are doing, and then I will alos promise you that if you do good, all of these good things will start happening.
• United States
27 Mar 08
That won't work my friend. Private school is not free.
• Bahamas
27 Mar 08
Hi giftsandbags. Maybe it's because she's of the meds that this is happening.Or maybe somethings bothering her that she does'nt want to talk to you about and she's acting out.I think taking her to the psychiatrist is a good start.You are on the right track you can't just sit back and do nothing. I can just imagine how concerned you are. I hope everything turns out ok. Keep me posted.
• United States
27 Mar 08
I sent you a message
@WC1989 (597)
• United States
27 Mar 08
Maybe she would learn better by herself. If you like I have a blog (called The School Pad) and I take requests on lessons. While I prefer to focus on math lessons, I do accept anything in the middle school/ high school level.
• United States
27 Mar 08
Thanks very much for this.
@Chey1970 (1193)
• United States
26 Mar 08
Hello gifts! I know this has to be tough on you. I'm not sure how old your daughter is, but does she have any desire in going to school at all? Have you tried sitting down and talking with her as to why her grades are so bad? A good amount of the times, it has to do with peer pressure. Maybe you can even try using an incentive to get her motivated in doing better, if you don't want her to have to go back on the meds or special ed. Something small, say like $5.00 for making an A or B on her report card. (That was just an example) Also, I have to agree with the 1st person who posted this. Unless your daughter is at school flaunting her body to the class, the teacher should never have had made the remark she did. To me that was outright rude.
• United States
26 Mar 08
The teacher is female and totally understands what is going on. I respect her views and the fact that she told me what she did. My daughter is 13 years old whit a very sexy figure. She gets all the attention from the boys. My daughter knows this and feeds right in to it. My daughter gets $10.00 for every a and $5.00 for e very b. She and I talked till I am blue in the face She has to to take her meds or go to special ed. I am not able to continue to beat myself up over this. Once she is 21 she can make choices for herself. She has no phone or out side privileges to the end of school/ I am not buying the year book and she is not going to the prom. I have no reason to spend my money when she can't do her work.
@KKKBsmom (1094)
• United States
16 Apr 08
If it comes down to it... go sit at the school... do everything you can to get her help! I will pray that all this works out for you!
@winterose (39932)
• Canada
28 Mar 08
gee I am sorry to hear that, but I know you are a great mother and look out for your daughters interest, please let us know how it all works out for you.
@jennybianca (12918)
• Australia
28 Mar 08
How old is your daughter? What year level is she in? What State or country are you referring to? My daughter, aged nearly 15, & in year 10 is having a few issues with her grades. She is a competitive swimmer & trains for ten hours per week, plus travel. It puts a huge strain on her ability to do homework. She needs to organise herself more thoroughily, but wont. She needs to spend less time on Neopets. I am not happy that she will be getting a C for one of her subjects, although the others should be A or B. My daughter says that I put too much pressure on her, & this may be true. So I am trying tom put less pressure on her. Will they allow you to sit in her class & watch her? How will sending her to school in Jamaica help?
@subha12 (18463)
• India
27 Mar 08
i think the decisions you have taken are right. you must do so. it sher career. May be first may a appointment with psychologist. she may be lacking something.
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
27 Mar 08
I am sorry to here that you daughter is not doing well in class. Maybe she is having a hard time concentrating and needs to start taking her meds again. Is there a good reason why she stopped in the first place? I know that some psych. meds have pretty harsh side effects. If that is the case, then maybe she needs an adjustment or new meds. I do not believe that sending her to Jamaica to be beat on a tree is the answer. No child should be punished for their learning difficulties. I do not think that getting a pass to sit in her class is the answer. That may simply humiliate her. If you are buying her age appropriate close, then I do not see how her figure would be an issue.
• United States
26 Mar 08
I am a little confused. Her shape is getting her all the attention in school? You mean she is hot, and distracting all the boys? I think that is kind of an absurd thing for a teacher to say, unless she is wearing a half shirt, mini skirt, or a bikini. I homeschool my children, and while I am not suggesting you should do that, I do have a lot of websites that offer a wide variety of educational games, tutoring, and homework help options. Alot are free, and cover most grades and subjects. If she has ADHD, this may be a better way for her to learn than traditional teaching. If you are interested you can visit my homeschool website at http://www.freewebs.com/northflorida There are tons of links so be sure to browse all the pages to see what is available. If you need help just ask, I am willing to help in any way I can.