society has come along way concerning pregnancy

United States
March 27, 2008 9:13am CST
it really wasnt that long ago that if a girl got pregnant and wasnt married they would ship her off some place. people didnt go around saying i dont know who the father is. so on and so on well now we have kids in jr high that are having babies and they go to regular school up until there 8th month alot of times. people go on tv shows to see who the dad is. the courts are overwhelmed witht he cases. now you can buy a dna testing kit along with your asprin at the drug store. that has to say there is a high demand in who's the daddy. you have to wonder though is it right to make it all seem like oh its ok that you are 14 and dont know who the dad is. you can just have the baby and then test at home and everything is going to be fine. i mean yea i think it is great that things are easier now and that kids and adults arent shunned and have to lie etc. but do you think that it is to easy so that kids and even adults are like oh its ok it is normal. i mean i relly dont think kids should have kids. i dont think they should be doing things to get that way but we have all became use to it and dont really think of it that much. do you think it is so common now cause we do see it that way or is it just that it was always like that but people just hid it better.
3 people like this
8 responses
@pkristie7 (606)
• United States
27 Mar 08
No I dont think it was always like this. The world is a LOT more accepting now and that makes kids less cautious. Me for example. I have 3 kids and I am not married. I was 19 when I got pregnant with my first child. Her father and I got married shortly after she was born, but it didn't last (abusive). If we were living in the old days there is no way I would have let it happen, but I didn't care if I got pregnant because I knew I would be accepted. Now I am with a different guy and we have 2 kids and we still haven't got married. We are planning to this summer, but I really wish I would of done it the right way this time. I do not want to get divorced again and that's my reasoning for not doing it yet, but in my opinion its not the right way. Well also the fact that he didn't even ask me until last year, but then we shouldn't have had kids. If I could do it all again I would. All I can do is hope my children don't make the same mistakes.
• United States
27 Mar 08
i know what you mean. i got pregnant at 18 and i wasnt married was with him for 4 years and we never got married. then i met my husband and we had a little girl together but if it would of been back then i would of been shipped off and had to say that my husband was killed and etc. i mean i wouldnt trade my kids for anything in the world but i wish i would have waited. i cant complain though. its just i knew if i got prenant then i got pregnant and i would take care of her. no big deal. but if it would of been 40 years ago then well i would of never of done it probably cause it would of been alot harder.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Mar 08
So you know exactly how I feel. Another reason for me was I wanted to have more kids so badly and didn't want to be an old mom. I always wanted to be done being pregnant by the time I was 30.
1 person likes this
@eden32 (3976)
• United States
27 Mar 08
While I don't think it's great to have a child when you are still in school, I also don't think it's a horrible thing either. I had my son at 16 (19 years ago), there were many challenges but life is about rising to meet your challenges. Women (younger or older) who don't know who the father of their child is something I can see both sides of. On the one hand, I would want my daughter to choose her partners carefully, to not be intimate with any guy she may date- on the other, especially with women in their teens (but could apply to any woman) sometimes their cycles are very erratic. I can see how reasonably something like this could happen- suppose you have an intimate relationship that last for many months, and you break up oh in January- you begin dating someone else pretty quickly and the end of February you realize you've missed at least one period- who's is it? Depending on what you get for prenatal care, and how your pregnancy goes it can be very difficult to pinpoint conception based on due date or birthdate. Suppose the woman in this example gives birth 3 weeks early (according to her 'due date') but the baby weighs a nice robust 7+lbs- was she really early or did she conceive earlier than she thought? I think it would be an awful position to find yourself in, but I can see how it could happen.If my partner & I broke up today, I'd be dating again within a month if just to keep my mind off my break-up. The young women who bring a half a dozen potential fathers on talk shows to have DNA tests done, well that's a different matter entirely. I hope those circumstances are rare, and I think the young woman in that position often has some serious problems going on. Why aren't her parents aware that she's "dating" a dozen young men? How does she have the time to sleep with a dozen men, isn't she in school? Why is her self-esteem so low that she seems to think she needs to sleep with every boy she meets to perhaps prove her self-worth? And if she's under say 14 and these young men are over 17- why aren't we wondering how much pressure these men put on her, and perhaps filing statutory charges against them?
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Mar 08
i see what you are saying but at the same time if i broke up with someone it would take more then a month for me to decide to sleep with somone else. i mean i wouldnt break up with someone and then meet someone and jump into bed with them. i understand that alot of people do. i understand that alot of women date more then one person but i guess i just think that you can have a relationship and date without just hopping into bed asap. i had my first kid at 18 and my second one at 21. i was young too. but i wasnt married with my first one. society would of shunned me back then and well now days it is not thought about twice. yet everyone complains about kids not having the proper love and guidence in there lives. well dont you think that might play a role in it.
2 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
27 Mar 08
oh boy i didn't relize you could get that sort of test at the store. i'm not to sure about that but ok. i was 19 when i got pregnet for my first son and i had people looking at me funny so i couldn't imagin being any younger and pregnet. i think that it has to do with parents and them not caring for their kids the way the should. parents now a days just don't seem to care like our mothers did. its like their afraid and i am not sure why. i see show where these little girls are trying to get pregnet so they can have a baby to love them, so somewhere they're not getting the love they need. i so think it happened back when but it wasn't like it is now. i am not sure how a 13 year can get pregnet and people think its ok that is normally. parents need to open their eyes and take care of their kids,if these kids really felt loved and cared for then i don't think it would be that big of a problem. maybe its just me but i knew how much my mother loved me and how much it woudl of hurt her to go out and get pregnet that young.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Mar 08
as far as the dna test goes. it is 20.00 and then you do go by the directions which is swabbing everyones mouth 45 seconds each and then you send it in with 120.00 and get the results in a week. its not always a love issue though some of it is just wrong chioces. some of it is just kids hanging out with other kids and wanting to fit in and well oops it happened. alot of times it is love isues though i do have to say that but not always.
2 people like this
@mememama (3077)
• United States
27 Mar 08
I laugh when I go through family history and see that a lot of old family members had 10 pound "premies" 7 or 8 months after they got married. Lots of shotgun weddings! Divorce wasn't as acceptable either, so I wonder if they were truly happy in their marriage and felt pressured to get married just cause of a baby. So I think in that aspect it is a good thing that society accepts more unwed mothers. I think parents need to discuss birth control with their teenagers, abstinence only education doesn't always work. I know when I was in highschool, girls got pregnant because they thought if the guy pulled out they would be safe. My mother was very open with us and told us how stupid that is.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Mar 08
I think that so many have the attitude it is my life I can do what I want and no one is going to tell me anything. I mean the parents have this attitude and so the kids that kind of attitude toward people and guess what the parents defend them. A lot of parents will say yeah I know she is young but it is my daughter and I will do whatever I want with her. I can raise my daughter my own way so the kids see their parents acting this way and assume that is the way they are supposed to be. It is very very sad but that is how it is. Plus I think there is a lot of girls that had girls young thinking I can do whatever and me and so and so and in love and then next thing you know the guy is gone and she is all by herself raising a baby. Dropping out of school, working just to take care of the baby. Having to work so much and not even being able to pay attention to the child that they are supposed to be raising. So many parents now days leave it up to the schools to raise their kids and it should be the parents job the teachers are just there to teach them and give them an education on history, math, science and english not to give them morals on what is right and wrong, and what is acceptable and what isn't.
1 person likes this
@Dessig (90)
• Spain
28 Mar 08
Minelli's "Home from the hill" is from 1960: you can see how things have changed in (not yet) 50 years.
@chrysz (1603)
• Philippines
28 Mar 08
I think parents and our society has become open minded about we cannot change or alter. Of course, there is abortion or having the child adopted by other people but since the question accepting the fact that these mothers are only 14 and they don't even know who fathered their child, I think we could trace the reason for the upbringing of the mother. The home should serve as the school of values of these children. I must admit that I feel bad that these had happened in our province here in the Philippines. Since it can't be undone, our community just accpeted the fact as it is. These kids, together with the family are so ashamed but they have to bear the consequences of what their kids have done. We can say that they are somewhat misguided but still, the kids are to be blamed for their actions and must face the shame they had caused to themselves and to their family. I am not aware of the dna test kit. if it is really available, then its a good thing but aren't you talking about pregnancy test kit instead?
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
28 Mar 08
I don't want it for my kids. I can only hope they don't follow in my foot steps. I'm glad that if it DOES happen they can still live a semi-normal life though.