What do you feel is worse?

United States
March 27, 2008 10:16am CST
I would like to know if you feel that mental abuse in a relationship is as serious as physical abuse? Some people believe that mental abuse isn't a really big problem in a relationship. I feel that mental abuse can cause alot more problems than physical abuse over time. Not to say at all that mental abuse isn't a serious subject. How do you feel?
4 people like this
7 responses
• United States
27 Mar 08
Having been in both type of relationships in the past, from my childhood until I was 39. I have to agree that mental abuse is more damaging to the phsychololic aspects of a person, than physical abuse. While I still bristle if someone gets physical around me, it is often the trauma of the past mental abuse that gets me down and relives the old state of being abused. It was in my opinion way more impactive on my present life. The bruises healed, but the mind doesn't forget. Any abusive relationship be considered toxic and should be broken off.
• United States
27 Mar 08
That is exactly how I feel creativedreamweaver! Thank you for offering your useful information from another perspective.
• United States
27 Mar 08
If I were to tell you all the physical abuse I went through. You would leave this site to go cry for me. I will tell you a few things to get you to understand my point. I was beaten by my husband in my sleep. He came home from cheating on me and feeling guilty. That he claimed that he heard I was in a club letting a man smack my rear with a belt. Now anyone can tell you I don't go to clubs. I am too paranoid of the night life. I was beaten by a ex with a tonka truck a few times. My head beat into a microwave. And a screwdriver pushed through my pants to damage a specific hole on my body. Not to mention the butcher knife to my throat all in the same beating. Now on to the question at hand. I would rather be beat than verbally abused. I healed from all the jazz whoopings. Moved on in my life and even therapy helped to close the book on the abuse. What I have the hardest time getting over are the words spoken in hate out of a persons mouth. A person can stab e in the heart just by saying a few choice words.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Mar 08
I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through that. But I also feel you are so blessed to make it through and still remain positive. I guess when bad words are spoken to you, they just replay in your mind. Thank you and god bless giftsandbagscom!
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 08
Sweetie I went through both in my used to be Marriage The first year it was Physical and then when he got caught out on it for the next 20 Years it was Mental abuse Please do not say why did I stay in it I had a bad Childhood and I was scared of People specially Men, I never had the Strength to put an end to it until I was diagnosed with my Illness he would have ended up killing me and I wanted out and have a Life, my Kids where grown and that is when it was over It was a tough Divorce and had many affects on my Illness but I got there I now have a wonderful who over the last 5 years has taught me that not every Man is awful and what love really is People always say "So why not get out of it then" Unless you are in that position you really do not know how hard and down grading it is specially when you are told all the time no one else would have you because your Body is ruined with marks from Child Birth, when you are told you are no one special and no one would care for you It is very hard, your mind is being played with in a very clever way
• United States
28 Mar 08
I find it amazing to hear men say that another man will never want you because of the scars you have from childbirth. I understand how so many women stay in abusive relationships for so long, so I won't ask. But I am glad to know that you are happy now. Thanks gabs!
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar 08
Thank you Sweetie He said it because he expected all Men to be like him the Woman had to be perfect He was a lovely Bloke once as soon as we married he was different for a year and a Half he managed to fool me that he was kind loving and nice then the ring went on my Finger Hugs to you
@gxnfly (1148)
• China
28 Mar 08
I think metal abuse is worse than physical abuse.A wound by physical abuse can heal after a few day,but metal hurt may cost years to get over or might won't get over forever.Mental abuse is like deeper hurt,it takes much more to heal.
• United States
28 Mar 08
I think so to gxnfly, I don't think people realize immediately when they are being mentally abused.
• United States
27 Mar 08
I believe that any kind of abuse is serious and should not be tolerated. Therefore, I agree with you. I think that mental abuse has long term negative side effects whereas physical abuse (which should never be allowed)is short term. That's just my two cents.
• United States
27 Mar 08
Yes it seems that people notice physical abuse alot more quickly. But the deep rooted emotional scars take time to notice, and by then it's too late.
@gemini_rose (16194)
27 Mar 08
Physical abuse, you can recover from, mental abuse scars and never heals and the slightest thing can reopen the scars and bring it all back. I think both are big issues and come with their own long term after effects but mental abuse is the more serious. I was in a relationship with both pysical and mental abuse, and it is the mental abuse that has stayed with me over the years rather than the physical.
• United States
27 Mar 08
Yes indeed both are big issues, I am assured to know that mental scars don't only seem to stay fresh for me alone. Thank you for taking the time to respond gemini_rose!
@MsTickle (24752)
• Australia
30 Mar 08
Mental abuse and physical abuse are both very serious problems. A person's body and spirit can be battered and broken. The physical wounds can repair themselves and there may not be any physical scars but the mental damage is devastating. The person you love and depend on is hurting you in very bad ways. If it goes on for any length of time and there is no help or support and you eventually manage to run away, I don't believe a person ever recovers. Something is broken inside. If not broken, severely damaged, sometimes irrepairably.