I'm come to the realization that I've lost faith in God...

@filmbuff (2909)
United States
March 28, 2008 12:36am CST
I recently posted a discussion about losing faith in mankind, when during the discussion my true feelings came out, that it is not only man, but God I have lost faith in. Looking at the world, all the pain all the suffering, all the circumstances beyond people's control, and even the things in it and I see it is God whom I blame. Please understand, I have always been a spiritual person. I used to feel God, know he/she/it was there and looking out for myself and the world. I prayed daily, sincerely prayed, alone, with all my being, not just for myself, but for the world. Lately though, I don't feel that presence, my prayers fall on the deaf ears of petty, vindictive and spiteful deity who just doesn't care. If the supreme being doesn't care, why on earth should I? I'm mad, that's an understatement, I'm livid with God. For not intervening, for letting his supposedly beloved children be born into poverty, strife, war, pestilence and famine. Where is his guideance in the world? Take his "chosen people" the jews, who have had nothing but suffering, blame and persecution from the world. Where is God? If man is created in god's image as we are led to believe, than he must be just as flawed as we are, if not more so. I'm blaspheming, so what. God is dead, or just doesn't care. If my fate for feeling this way is eternal damnation, or non-existence, I am fine with that. Because a god this uncaring is no god I will follow. Has anyone else had these thoughts, did something change your mind and restore your faith? The way I feel now, God had better damn well come to me, because I'm tired of trying to go to him. I'm am looking forward to death and having an up close and personal conversation, because he has a hell of a lot of answer for, and he/she/it deserves to be held accountable.
3 people like this
14 responses
• United States
28 Mar 08
I am a believer, I do not know if I would let God go. He is the only source that I really have. We have to watch how we treat God. He is the almighty, the alpha and omega. He loves us all, and if you feel that your prayers are not going through, you should know that you are not in line. See in order for things to come far as blessings, or mircales. A lot of times he want us to have faith in him. You guys should know that not having faith or doubting is actually a sin. But I just believe that we should daily repent to GOD. He wants us to repent, that is how we keep fellowship with him. See the enemy wants us to be confuse and always feel we are not worthy. But when it comes to praying, some of us people our prayers do not get higher then the ceiling. Do you know that when we pray our prayers go up as an aroma to GOD's knows. Some of our prayer's stink. The reason it may be because you are holding on to jealousy, vengence, not forgiving, or repenting. But a good prayer smells good to GOD. This means you are walking in holiness, you are keeping your temple holy, you are living in righteousness. But I will say that we all humans are blessed with two things. He blesses us with grace and mercy. A lot of us are living off of grace and mercy. What this does is keep us, or give us another chance. See GOD he loves us that much. And when we go through he wants us to give all of our problems and cares to him. He do not want us to be depress, opress, or being in the state of anxiety. So God he is love. So just remember this scripture, John 3:16, For GOD so love the world that he gave his only begotten son that who so ever believe in him should not perish but have everlasting life.
• United States
28 Mar 08
Amen! That is so very true! God bless.
@Guardian208 (1095)
• United States
28 Mar 08
Hi Filmbuff, I am not going to try and convince you of anything. But I want to make a couple of comments and then give some things to think about. I have been where you are now. In fact I return there periodically. Me parents divorced when I was around 7 years old. At that time I was one of only 2 kids in my school that had divorced parents. I felt alone and isolated. To make matters worse, we went to live with my grandparents where I was abused. No one came to my rescue though all of my extended family knew what was going on. So not only did my family abandon me, I felt God had as well. Much of the feelings that you shared with us I felt as well. I shook my fist up at the sky and told God I didn't believe in him aanymore. I thought that if He did exist that I wanted no part of him if he allowed this to happen to me. Honestly I still feel that way from time to time. Those thoughts and feelings were with me for a big part of my lifetime and are hard to forget. The trials in this life can be overwhelming. Though life would seem to be easier if everything was in order and perfect, that would prevent us from being full human beings. There would be nothing to achieve, no trials to overcome. I think we would become lazy and unmotivated. We need to be able to live our lives and make our own decisions, and that means that others would be able to make decisions that we don't agree with ie: abusers, terrorists, criminals, pedophiles etc. As far as not feeling God anymore, I assume that means you felt him at one time. So I would ask you, what has changed? Has God changed or have you changed? I would also ask you why is it important that you 'feel' God? If I had an ant farm that I took care of where I provided the dirt for them to live in, the food that they ate, the environment that allowed them to thrive etc., they would never feel me or even be aware of me. That doesn't mean I don't exist. There may even be rare moments where one or two of them became aware of me in their small ant way, that would be a blessing to them. But whether or not the experience me does not change the fact that I am still in control. I understand that this analogy is not perfect but it makes the point. If there is a God, and I believe there is, it is almost as impossible for us to fully understand him as it is for those ants to understand me. That is what faith is. But for Christians, He gives us a means to experience him through his word, the bible. Though we will always struggle with comprehending his will, the perspective should not be on the trials of this life. God's view is longer than that. His view is eternal. That is not to say that he is unconcerned with the present, but his ultimate concern is eternal. We can let the trials of this world influence our view of God, or we can let God influnce our view of the world. That is why we can either choose to believe in him or choose not to. I hope this made some sense. I feel like I was rambling on. Sorry.
1 person likes this
@Sanora (23)
• Canada
28 Mar 08
I understand you very well. I am actually experiencing the same thing at this moment. But all of these happen because there is another power at work. And the "good and evil" thing is not a fable. It is real. He is not responsible but let them happen only so we could see the difference. I have had your exact thoughts and even more given the situation I am going through. He is not deaf and he cares. Keep insisting in your talk with Him. That's what I do. My faith is not restored yet, but I'm praying about it too. Don't give up and don't stoop to blaspheming. Keep in mind that all of this will soon come to an end when he restores his reign and destroys the enemy. I am not just being theoretical. Trust me, I know how you are feeling. Ask him to talk to you and pay attention to when he will respond. I hope this helps. Keep us posted on your progress.
• United States
28 Mar 08
I am not sure if you're coming from a bad experience (which makes you feel this way). I don't think it's ever a blasphemy to doubt the existence of God. My only advice would be not to shut your doors. For all you know, your God suffers with you, silently enduring every inch of your pain into his. That's what happened in the cross. Jesus never spoke aggressive words. He just was there - being silent most of the time. Yet torment all throughout. Give it a thought. You're not completely abadoned. He is right there, silently suffering with you.
@Ashbiz (148)
• Mauritius
29 Mar 08
Are you looking for heaven on earth? If so, you'll look in vain. Know that life in this world is a life of trial so that we may obtain the good reward in the hereafter. Remember that all prophets sent by God underwent serious & tests in their lives. But they all have succeeded. When Abraham was ordered to sacrifice his beloved son, he did not stop having faith. The same apply to us. Such examples Biblical examples are uncountable. I advise to continue to have faith patiently, and in the end you shall indeed succeed.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
29 Mar 08
perhaps the problem is the god you are looking for and your expectations of him. to me god is not the typical church definition that portrays a guy in the heavens sitting next to jesus. i define god as all of the energy in the world that is one supreme power. god is in all things - a blade of grass, a rock, even your computer while you are sitting at it. (okay, so maybe that sounds a little hokey but that's what i think.) you cannot blame the energy of god for the things that happen to you. god has plans and an intricate system of how everything in this world relates to one another. god cannot just let everybody have their way or what they want because it would effect other things we're not even aware of. plus think of how bored you would be and how little you would learn. what you can do though is learn how to channel the enerygy of the world and become a part of it instead of constantly fighting it. a good book to read is "the seven spiritual laws of success" by deepak chopra. I think you will enjoy it very much if you can get it at the library find it at a bookstore. perhaps it will help you feel better.
@rup011 (726)
• Germany
29 Mar 08
CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have risen to the spiritual platform. This is exactly the stage from where your life will change. I faced this an year ago and see I am a changed person. I have become the strongest supporter of God, with unshakable belief in him. I was a believer in God from childhood. But some things happened which put me in such a position, that I was extremely angry with God. I told God, I want my answers. I want to see if you really take efforts for them who want to believe in you and love you. I said that I don't want to worship you out of fear but I want so much love in my heart for you that nothing would deviate me from my path of loving you. I stopped praying. God responded dear. God sent me books and informations from far away places. I got all my answers. God cares. Believe me God cares. I have answers to all the questions you have written. But simply writing them here won't help. I have tried writing before but people do not respond. So I have decided unless one is desperately seeking for answers and desiring to know god, its no use. I will write it. But you need to open your mind and give a consideration to the answers. I don't want others to mock me. So I selectively give the informations.
@mbcousins (116)
• United States
29 Mar 08
Know exactly where you are at filmbuff. I have been feeling like that myself lately. Life just gets to difficult for to long sometimes. I have had THE experience also and so it makes me feel something like Peter when he denied knowing him 3 times before the rooster crowed. I do not feel like it is a sin or anything like that. I think that it is a way of somehow acting out my pain, hurt and grief on myself somehow. Can sure relate to old Job. You take care and hang in there. It will eventually get better. PEACE
• Regina, Saskatchewan
29 Mar 08
My dear favorite buff dude. I do so feel your pain, anger and frustration. But my dear friend, I think you have lost more than your faith in God, I think you have lost your faith in yourself. Here's how I reconcile the world with faith: God gave us free will. God gave us the power of reason. God gave us this world and everything in it. God gave us knowledge of Himself. God gave us His only Son. Then God stepped back and said, "Ok people, I've given you everything you need to make your world work in glory of Me, now have at it. Exercise your free will and faith in Me". And look at what we've done with all those gifts. We've come so far by our OWN actions and choices from the plan God had for us that it is not HIM who is responsible, it's us and us alone. God does work in mysterious ways. He does give us big and little miracles every day. Our problem is that there are more people who have taken God out of day to day living and in so doing forged a world that we can no longer have faith in. Not God's fault at all, but our own. We may abandon God, but I truly believe He never abandons us or we would have imploded upon ourselves centuries ago, and yet here we still are because someone, somewhere changed our direction and gave us back faith in ourselves, our world, our God(s). In these modern, over populated times, where anyone can set themself up as the be all end all of the mysteries of faith, many of us who are more spiritual than religious find ourselves looking around and losing our spirituality in the face of such sterility of simple faith. Try to look around you with a different perspective. Evil and all it's attendants will always be with us. That's a given as people continue to exercise their free will for their own reasons rather than in praise of God. God lives in every natural living thing in our world. In the power of the sunrise and it's necessity to sustaining life, in the beauty of a suddenly come upon flower in a wasteland, in the smile of a baby untouched by the ugliness of life, in so many simple things that make us smile and wonder at the same time how they came to be with such beauty and grace. You may feel alone buff, but you are not and I pray that one day soon, you will open your eyes and see the beauty of life and not just the pain. Hugs to you my dear friend.
@xxgutsxx1 (201)
• United States
29 Mar 08
Listen to this: "When all hope seems to be gone have faith til' the end, Christ will pull throught." There was once a movie about Christ called "Footprints." Its about a man who has lost faith in God (but still believed him 'somehow (???)') and he when to Heaven. He saw a vision of a beach with 1 set of footprints. He was confused and upset that Christ wasnt walking with him. He asked God "why, why werent you walking with me?" Christ replied "I was with you the whole time. You saw my footprints because I was carrying you."
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
28 Mar 08
Do you remember Job and how he lost everything. He lost all his livestock then all his children. God allowed Satan to do so much to Job because He loved God. God pointed Out Job to Satan to let Satan know how Job loved God. Well Satan said that Job loved God so much because God made him rich. So God allowed Satan to take Job's live stock and his children. But Job still loved God and didn't turn his back on God. So Satan said the God was still protecting Job. so God allowed Satan to make Job miserable with his health. Job still refused to turn his back on God. This gave God a chance to bless Job with so much more than he had in the first place. If we get connected to God and keep connected to God he will bless us beyond our wildest dreams. If not in this life than in the next. Remember that even if you have doubts and turn your back on God He will not turn his back on you even when it seem he has. We always seem to want to blame God for all the horrible things that happen in the world. We forget about Satan and his part in this world.
• Philippines
28 Mar 08
People tend to lose faith in men and God especially during the time when we see sufferings, be it to ourself or to others. Because we also tend to associate sufferings as not of God's doing. But personally, I see them as a challenge to be a better person.
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
28 Mar 08
You can't make the basis of your spiritual life revolve around what happens to your brother, or anyone else for that matter. Perhaps God is testing your faith to see if you will continue to turn to Him in the times that you feel the furthest from Him... it can happen to even the strongest of believers at times, everyone goes through trials and tribulations when they feel as though God is distant, but you have to just stay strong and have faith - He knows what you are going through and he allows things to happen for a reason, usually to make us stronger so that we are able to encourage others when they are going through a tough time. Hang in there! He has a plan for you.
• Belgium
28 Mar 08
Well, assuming you 'were?' a Christian, the explanation given to you would be that Satan is the cause of all suffering. Honestly, that sounds an awful lot like a fable to me. A good guy and a bad guy. If you want to retain your spiritual side and not become completely 'without religion' I suggest you take a look at some of the Eastern religions, such as Buddhism. You'll see that they have extremely efficient ways of dealing with suffering and sadness.