Every time my friend comes over her kids break things

@keyers (159)
United States
April 1, 2008 7:16pm CST
I don't know what to do my daughter likes playing with her kids but they are out of hand.The mother tries to keep them in line but they are a hand full.They always come over and break my childs things they even knocked a light fixture off of my wall.She always says she will replace the stuff and she never does.I don't want to be rude because she is my friend but these things cost moeny and money doesn't grow on trees.
4 people like this
11 responses
@MsTickle (24993)
• Australia
2 Apr 08
Do you invite her over or does she just turn up? If you invite her...stop. LOL. If she turns up, step outside your door when she arrives and ask her if she can guarantee her kids will behave and not break anything. If she says no, then say sorry, she is not welcome. Be very polite and friendly and also remind her gently that she promised to repay you for previous damage done and that she hasn't done that. Tell her that you value the friendship but it isn't working for you. It will only take a few miutes to say these things so don't be afraid. Figure it all out before hand. You may lose a friend but if you do then she wasn't a real friend. If you say what's on your mind you will feel better. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@keyers (159)
• United States
2 Apr 08
Thanks for your comment that is a great idea.I just need to put my foot down and stand up for myself.I do invite her sometimes because my daughter like to see them and we live about 20 minutes from each other so we both take turns making the trip.
2 people like this
@MsTickle (24993)
• Australia
2 Apr 08
WOW, fastest BR I ever received...thankyou. You're only new and doing great so far. People might still be responding to your post a week from now so most of us leave it for a few days at least before picking Best Response. Some folk will choose not to respond if BR has been given out. Welcome to myLot, by the way and good luck here.
1 person likes this
@keyers (159)
• United States
2 Apr 08
Thanks for the tip but it was still a great tip.
1 person likes this
@asgtswife04 (2482)
• United States
2 Apr 08
I am in the same position. i am taking care of a friend of mine's kids while she works when they get out of school and they are so destructive. They have already scratched up all my boys video games and just recently tore up their xbox. I told her about the situation and that if things didn't calm down quick i wouldn't be able to keep her children anymore. her boys are into wrestling and all they do all day long is fight and wrestle around the house. my house isn't that big so things start getting knocked off the walls and everything.. i had to get on to them tonight because they were all over each ohther and almost broke my kids bed, which cost a ton of money. i knowit's hard to stand up to someone especially if they are your friend, but sometimes you just gotta do it. God bless
1 person likes this
@keyers (159)
• United States
2 Apr 08
Thanks for your comment and I hope ypur friends kids get it together since you are doing her a favor by watching her kids.
• United States
2 Apr 08
I agree with Rinny, its time to have a chat with your friend. There are ways to combat this. First you and your friend talk and devise a plan of action. Have you ever watched the Super Nanny? While I am not terribly fond of Jo I sure like the tools she uses to gain control of misbehaviors. They are just kids who are getting away with what they are allowed to. The adults need to step up to the plate and show them what is expected during a play date. Very good luck Keyers and welcome to mylot.
1 person likes this
@keyers (159)
• United States
2 Apr 08
That you for welcoming me and Thank you for your comment.Maybe my friend and I can watch super nanny together and try to fix the problem of her out of control kids.
1 person likes this
• China
2 Apr 08
i think you should tell her ,you know someday you will break out and your firend ship will end! i think you'd better to tell her ,it's will be good for each other or to maintenance your firendship!good luck!
1 person likes this
@keyers (159)
• United States
2 Apr 08
Thanks for your comment and I will tell her how I feel and if it wrecks our friendship then it wasn't as good as I thought.I think she tries and means well but her kids are terrible they never listen and thet always kick and scream.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 08
Well that is a tough position. I would hate it if i were in your position and my friend did not pay the money or at least ask to. I might not accept it but i think that it would be pretty rude for my friend not to even ask to pay me.
@keyers (159)
• United States
3 Apr 08
you are right I thought it was pretty rude but I juse ended up forgetting about it
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
2 Apr 08
I can tell that you don't like to be rude and go out of your way in any given situation to be kind. Sometimes you need to go out of your limits. This is one of those times. It is rude for the mom to let this happen over and over in your home and more rude that she is not calling on the kids to be responsible for it. She should be correcting the kids and making them replace what is broken and taking out of their allowance or making them work it off. she obviously is not doing any of that. it is all disrespectful and rude to you. Look at it as "helping" those kids cuz in a way you would be by putting your foot down...someone has to teach them respect and it appears that everyone is enabling them to be little monsters.
@keyers (159)
• United States
2 Apr 08
Thank yo for your comment I really appericaiate.
@MGjhaud (20672)
• Philippines
2 Apr 08
Kids breaking glasses is like normal but not all the time. You can make things work well. Gather the kids in an area where there's nothing to break. Put them in one room and let them play all the time. Don't let them play something that's breakable.
@wickedangel (1636)
• Dominican Republic
2 Apr 08
You have had some good responses here and I know that you have alrady given best response already but I wanted to say that if you don't say something the kids will never learn or understand why they aren't invited to other people's houses. It is not just they are badly behaved, which is bad enough!, but also this will get worse as time moves on. For your friend and her childrens' sake, please DO say something. I know it is a pain when something is broken but that is bound to happen when children are about. It is hard to discuss other children's behaviour with their parents because we all think our children our wonderful but there are times when their behaviour is unacceptable. They will thank you in the long term although her mother may not right now! Good luck
@sizzle3000 (3040)
• United States
2 Apr 08
I am sorry for the children. It seems that this mother has no control of her children. She also doesn't seem to value friendship herself. I personally would not let my child act like a thug in my friends home. I also would not let her break things up. I know kids can be rough but they seem to have no guidance if things get broke every time they come over. The mother also needs to take responsibility for the damage her children cause. You need to actually give this woman a bill for the damages. When you go to her home does your child or children break up her home. I think you should talk to her and be honest. Friendship is not supposed to cost you money. If you are paying for all the repairs yourself maybe you are buying friendship. The other thing is maybe her friendship is not worth having. I know that sounded harsh but money doesn't grow on trees and to have to keep buying toys and or games is rediculous. Some people do not respond when you ask nicely they need to be told in a harsh manor before you can get through to them. Don't be a door mat say it plain. You can not affort her friendship any longer. It maybe best to do it soon because your child will already be affected. I am sure your child is upset when one or more of his or her toys get broke. They may not say anything but they know what is right and wrong. To save your childs feelings you may have no option but to be rude.The sooner you get this situation under control the better for your sanity as well as your child. It may be best if the child suffers a little now than a lot later on.
@jmr201 (183)
• United States
2 Apr 08
Oh no thats not good, tell he lisen you kids have cost me mad money and their not mine so if you want to hang out lets go to the park. and next time she sais i will replase it tell her yeah that will be the day be strong if not when you come to see you will have nothing in your house
• Greece
2 Apr 08
And what to do in this situation? To say "dont come, your kids are monster"? I have two cousins that every time they are coming home destroy a few things.. I think that the best solution is to meet them outside.. At a cafe which has place to play the kinds, or if you have a garden and the weather is good to go there.. I wish you good luck!