Thoughts needed on issue of young children and death of a classmate.

@kaysue4 (951)
United States
April 3, 2008 7:30am CST
On Sunday night my 12 year old son, Christopher, came to me very upset because his girlfriend, same age, had died. She lived in a group home for reasons unknown. Now, first of all when he called the group home, in your thoughts, should the adult have asked to talk to me instead of telling my son that she died? They just told him straight out over the phone. Now when Chris had called on Friday they told him that she went to the hospital and they thought that it was her heart and then when he called on Sunday they just told him that she was dead and hung up the phone. On Monday, the teachers had a meeting about her passing and gave out the information on the calling hours and the funeral. I was to have a surgical procedure done on the same day, but got it switched to be with my son during this time. Now my second question is, my son's one classmate is being dropped off to my house for us to take him because the parents are going to be at work. What are your thoughts on this? Should the parents have taken time to take their son themselves? He is only 12 years old and I mean, it is hard enough for adults to deal with the death of a friend or even their own child. How do you think this child is going to do being there with no parent, or what about all of the other children that might be there without a parent to help them through this grieving process? My son has been depressed and doing things to get more attention and I am worried about him, so I have him scheduled to see his councelor on Monday. The funeral is today and the classmates are excused from school to attend. My son has never been to calling hours or a funeral before. What are your thoughts on this issue? Would you let your child go without you to see thier friend during calling hours and funeral? Thank you so much in advance for your thoughts on this issue.
1 person likes this
1 response
• United States
3 Apr 08
Unfortunately I don't have any great advice :( but I can definitely understand your frustration and I would probably feel the same way too. I agree that they should have given the phone to you, instead of telling Chris.... I am glad you scheduled him to go to a counselor... ((HUGS))
@kaysue4 (951)
• United States
3 Apr 08
Thank you. The other little boy didn't show up so far this morning, so I am hoping that his parents desided to take him themselves. Chris' councelor was shock when she found out that the little girl was his girlfriend.