I'm just like my mother, please tell me its not true!

United States
April 6, 2008 2:35pm CST
Do you remember growing up and you swore up and down you wouldn't be anything like your mother? Now that you are older, are there times when you catch yourself saying those things your mother said or acting in a manner that is conducive to her behavior? Or if you are a man, perhaps it is your father you tend to emulate? Or were you able to not follow in their footsteps?
25 people like this
78 responses
@p1kef1sh (45640)
6 Apr 08
I have no doubt that I am an amalgam of them both. My mother was the disciplinarian - she had an evil way with a wooden spoon. Not for stirring puddings with either. Whilst my dad was the quiet considered one. Mum never said "wait until your father gets home". because he would have simply said, "don't do it again" and forgotten about it. If he did get upset, he simply said "I am very disappointed in you, you have let yourself down", and I was crushed. I have a fiery temper that very rarely sees the light of day, and if it does I regret it almost immediately. I am usually very placid and on the odd occasion that I have ever head to punish our daughter, I usually did so by trying to get her to understand what she had done wrong, and help her decide what sort of punishment she should receive. I have only once smacked her. I shall be forever ashamed of myself. I smacked her so hard I left a hand print. She cried, but so did I. I seem to have dwelt on punishment here. But I do find myself developing other traits that are recognisable. My wife often says "Stop talking like your mother". So I must be turning into her. My jokes are awful enough to have come from my dad though.
4 people like this
• United States
6 Apr 08
My stepmother used a wooden spoon too. Your mother and mine must have been comparing notes. I rarely also punish my children physically. The only time I have done so is when they have endangered themselves despite my constant warnings. I cried too, just as hard as they did. So in that regard I am not like my stepmother who was very abusive, but my mother would just lay a belt on the back of a chair and thats all it took.
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45640)
6 Apr 08
We both grew up in the same county. There was probably a law that said mothers had to use wooden spoons. LOL.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Apr 08
I want to see that in writing. LMBO
1 person likes this
@dianagnes (1088)
• Singapore
6 Apr 08
I don't think i am like my mother too..its just different on certain area.Not much of similarities;but others may tend to judge that way because im the only daughter.Her behaviour and mine are somewhat fine;as in good ones!hehe... My attitude is absolutely different,sometimes we are at a different taste;she do understand me as a mother.
• United States
6 Apr 08
If you are an only child, I can certainly understand why people would compare you with your mother.
1 person likes this
@dianagnes (1088)
• Singapore
6 Apr 08
im the only daugther..not the only child..hehehe!
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Apr 08
LOL. Sorry about that.
6 Apr 08
I sure do lol! i swore down i would never end up like my mother and yet now i see myself turning into her slowly but surely lol! i think its because i have children of my own now and i see her point of view.
3 people like this
• United States
6 Apr 08
I guess we do see our mothers in a new light when we become mothers ourselves. Not to say that I approved of everything my mother and stepmother did, but I have a more enlightened viewpoint.
2 people like this
@kezabelle (2985)
6 Apr 08
Yup I say a lot of things my mum does and having my own children now I totally understand why she said them! im real proud to be just like my mum, she was a fantastic mum to me!
3 people like this
• United States
6 Apr 08
Awwww, thats really cool that you think so much of your mother. I guess you have a whole different perspective when you become a mother yourself.
2 people like this
• Australia
7 Apr 08
I am becoming much more like my mother as I age, but I don't think that's such a bad thing. My mum has always been a really strong person, but when I was younger, I was always more worried about what people thought of me, so I often didn't stand my ground, or go after the things I wanted. Now, I've realised that as long as I'm not hurting anyone, I need to do what makes me happy, and not what everyone else thinks I should be doing. I'm also actually beginning to look more like my mum now as well. When I was younger, I didn't really take after anyone in my family, but now I can really see my mother in me.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Apr 08
Perhaps you looked like your mother even then, but because you didn't want to hear her words didn't see even the physical resemblance at the time.
• United States
7 Apr 08
+For a lot of reasons people dread those word but when I hear those words I feel blessed my mother WAS such a good person!!
• Australia
7 Apr 08
Actually, when I was younger I didn't resemble anyone in my family, and I would have happily been compared to my mother, as I have always had great respect for her. People used to always comment how I looked nothing like her (or anyone in the family), and yet my sister is almost a carbon copy of her.
• United States
6 Apr 08
"Mirror, mirror on the wall...I am my mother after all!" Yes, I am alot like my mother, and to be very frank that is not a very healthy thing. Due to certain circumstances over the past year, it became very apparent to me exactly how much I am like her and exactly how much her behavior hurts not only herself, but those around her as well. So, after that mini epiphany of sorts, I am trying very hard to change those hurtful and negative traits.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Apr 08
The important thing is that you were able to recognize these behaviors and change them. I think that speaks volumes in itself. After all you can't improve on something that you don't recognize as being wrong.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Apr 08
When we were children, our brains were basically like sponges. We absorb anything and everything that we see at most times. I guess this is the reason why we emulate our parents' behaviors even if we are unaware of them. The important thing is to recognize the bad habits/ attitudes that we have somehow acquired and to do something to change them.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Apr 08
I used to be like my mother. My mother was always thinking negative thoughts and always saying she can't, and I would tell her she needed to change her thinking to she can, I can, I will. I have read many self-help books in helping me to be me. And they helped. I am rereading the Erroneous Zones by Dwyer. Reason is that my mother passed away in Nov. 2007 and I started saying I can't. I needed a good friend to remind me that I now sound like my mother. When I hear myself say I can't, I have to remember to say I can, and I will. There are some traits that I got from my mother that I would never trade for the world. It's helping others, and friends out. Giving where they don't have. Being generous with yourself. Also my mother used to talk just to talk, the conversation would always be one sided. It never required an answer, and I would say Mom, wait a minute, or hold on, you're doing all this talking and I realize you don't want an answer, that used to bug me the most, but I miss my mother. I would say call me at 6 a.m., and she would call me at 7 a.m., figures mothers always thinking you need that extra hour of rest, but only to get to work late. Lorraine
@wickedangel (1636)
• Dominican Republic
7 Apr 08
Oh yes, I remember thinking that and as you get older not only do I sound more and more like her but I am looking more and more like her too! Some of family whom I hadn't met until I was in my early 20s said I acted just like my Dad, had certain mannerisms but on the whole I looked and acted like mum (thank goodness!). She was really beautiful when she was younger - I certainly missed out on that score (not kidding!) but at least I didn't get Dad's nose - that was a hooter and a half! It is funny how we all take after our parents and begin to act and sound more like them as we get older. I can certainly see it with my BF - he is looking and acting more like his own father every year!
• United States
7 Apr 08
I've always looked like my father and had many of his mannerisms. I did take after my mother in regard to the way I dress and carry myself. I don't feel like I have too many of her personality traits, however.
@yoj118 (329)
• Philippines
7 Apr 08
i love my mom,..there are only some traits about her that i don't like to emulate now that i'm also a mother. sometimes she's paranoid about some things that bother her to the point of freaking out and becoming irrational over them.She's also a very OC (obsessive-compulsive) type of person, like when she does things around the house such as cleaning or arranging furnitures, there's always a pattern and she doesn't want that pattern to be changed else she'll freak out. But after introspecting, i also found myself sometimes behaving like her in such a way that i feel also i'm a paranoid when i feel jealous with my husband's co-officemates or even old batchmates in college even though there's no valid reason form me to feel that way.. or when it comes to what i want things be done my way at home or at work, i feel i'm being OC too.. I believe the more a person keeps on telling himself/herself not to be like his/her dad/mom, the more he/she compels to becoming like them.. So better not think about it and just go on with life as normal as possible...
• United States
7 Apr 08
I guess we all have our idiosyncrasies, whether we are modeling ourselves after our parents or not. My parents sure had their fair share and I've probably taken some of them on as well as my own.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164534)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Apr 08
I think we have all been there a few times. I remember several times when my son was little that I did like my mom, don't ask me why just do as you're told and then I hated myself as that was just what my mom would have said and when I was little that really teed me off.So then I made a conscious effort to try to explain why I wanted my son to do a certain thing and that worked so much better. Also my mom had a habit of cooking vegetables with a ton of water and cooking them too long and I find myself doing that and the kitchen police ie my son tells me in a most vehement tone you are cooking all the vitamins out of your veggies. Just like my grandma used to do. so now I really do know better and I add just a little water or better yet I cook them in my new microwave. that is even better.
• United States
6 Apr 08
I never use water in my vegetables. Yuck. LOL. I guess we all tend to take on the traits of our parents. How could we not?
@gemini_rose (16193)
6 Apr 08
Yes I remember this very well, and I still say the same thing now, Oh I love my mum but I just still do not want to be like her. But sometimes I catch myself laughing and think to myself I sound like my mum, or I say something to the kids and think oh no that is what my mum used to say to me. Sometimes, and this is even scarier, I look in the mirror and see my dad looking back at me, eeek!!
• United States
6 Apr 08
That is funny how you hear yourself say something and then realize it sounded just like something your mother would have said. I look just like my dad and I'm scared too. LOL.
@gemini_rose (16193)
6 Apr 08
Hmmm as long as I do not get his hairline too!! Receeding and bald on top. Oh and grey around the sides.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Apr 08
We must have had the same father. LOL.
6 Apr 08
Apparently I have turned out very much like my Mum. When I answer the phone I sound just like her too. It's not a bad thing, she was, and still is a very good Mum. Whilst I don't have kids at the moment, I'm sure that I will seek her advice and do many of the things that she did in bringing up me and my brother. I think it is because we have remained fairly close since I got married and moved away. We telephone and email each other a lot, and we have a lot of the same interests. Now that I have "grown up" we have become friends. I feel sorry for people who are not friends with their mothers. It is a shame to miss out on someone who could be your best friend in so many ways.
• United States
6 Apr 08
Even though I do not condone the behaviors of either my mother or stepmother, I have tried to be betters friends with them in the last year. Not allowing them into my life is not one of the regrets I want to have later in my life.
6 Apr 08
That is a really positive attitude to have. I'm sure they will have to appreciate the effort which you make. I hope that you are able to have better relationships with them now and in the future.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
7 Apr 08
I used to think like that when I was younger, I don't want to be like my Mom. As I grow older, I don't think being like my Mom is that bad, My Mom is a great person and a great mother for me and my brothers, she's a fighter and very loving person. She's not perfect, she made mistakes but in whole, she's the best. So I'm okay with being like my mother. And if my brothers turn out to be my father, then they will be in good road in life, coz my father is the kindest person ever. I LOVE my parents
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Apr 08
Once again, thats really cool. Its nice to hear when people admire their parents so much.
@magrylouyu (1632)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Cant say I remember ever saying that. I wished I could be just like my mother! I am so much like her in every way possiable! I love her and wish we were able to spend more time together as we live 4 hours apart. She's given me parenting advice, relationship advice. I hope I am the same kind of mother she is to me, and be the same to my 3 young children! She's the Bestest mom you could ask for. ;)
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Apr 08
Thats really sweet and maybe at some point you will be able to live closer together. I hope she knows how much she is appreciated and loved.
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
7 Apr 08
I do that myself. I am a lot like my mother. I even look like my mom the older I have gotten. I also do and say things like her alot.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Apr 08
Although I see similiarities to my mother physically, I look more like my father.
@tjades (3592)
• Jamaica
7 Apr 08
You know Kbourgerie, I was just musing over the same thing one day last week as I was doing some chore or the other. I couldnt help but smile when I saw your discussion. I am not like my mom. Our characters are quite different. My thoughts stemmed more from growing to resemble ones parent as the years go by. A boyfriend once told me that if you want to know what a girl will look like when she grows older you just take a look at her mother. Of course it is not always so but that got me to thinking of things we swore never do but end up doing. I never want to get fat. I'll never say this and I'll never say that but then oneday you hear the words of your mother and you look around only to find that the words came from your own lips. Or you walk down the road and come across an old friend who blurts out how much you are the stark image of your mother when she was your age. Goes to show just how much this life is a cycle. Ah ah. (lol)
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Apr 08
I'd really hate to think I'm anything like my mother or stepmother. I really don't see either as role models in my life.
• United States
6 Apr 08
I remember as a kid saying I would never be like my mom too. Now I am a lot like my Mom and I love every bit of it. My mom is a great person and like everyone has her faults but I would be proud if I was the person she is someday.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Apr 08
Thats really cool that you have that kind of outlook. I guess we all feel that way as children, especially when we are told no or are disciplined, but in retrospect many can look back and see the advantages of the way our parents handled us.
@wnbwnbwnb (427)
• China
6 Apr 08
Actually,I didn't find out that I grown up to be another my mother,but just yesterday,I saw my friend and her mother, I must admit that they are almost the same,not only in appearance, but the way they act or say something. So, I guess I must be like my mother to some extent from others' view.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Apr 08
From another person's perspective, that might be true. Sometimes we don't see in ourselves, what others do.
@Rosekitty (19438)
• San Marcos, Texas
6 Apr 08
Yep Yep yep Kbourgerie I'm guilty of them all and yes i also look like my Mother, so I knew it was bound to happen LOL..now that i'm older and she's much older i'm very careful to make sure i keep in touch with her and let her know How much i love her!
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Apr 08
Obviously you love your mother very much and have every reason to want to take on her traits. I'm glad for you.
6 Apr 08
whats wrong about being like your mother (or father). you can recognise it and acknowlege it and it may not be all that bad. i think in the end of the day we all have a choice. it is probably some sort of anger that is fueling such a dislike of being 'just like her' ; as a parent i can say one thing. i did not realise to what extend kids can be ungrateful and unforgiving. this i did not see before i had kids and was blaming all sorts on my parents and especially my mums responses to life. loosen up...
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Apr 08
We all have reasons to feel the way that we do. My mother gave 5 of us away when I was only 9 and the youngest was in diapers. Needless to say she was remarried within the year and had 2 more children. My stepmother was extremely abusive. I wouldn't want to follow in either of their footsteps.
@agfarm (930)
• United States
6 Apr 08
I agree entirely ! My Mother , and especially her Mother ruled with an Iron fist. I've always said ( growing up ) I didn't want to be anything like that to my kids. That....they would be allowed to stay out past 10:00 especially if they're over 21. Aggggh!!!!!! Too many memories !!!!!!!!! Anyhow...I find myself Obsessing over issues of safety ( mainly ) I expect something to go wrong in every situation , if I'm not there to make sure it's safe for my 5 year old. Safety is first and foremost in my mind at all times , I ( still ) use the Back burners on the Oven to do all of my cooking , I've done it for so long ( to insure my Child couldn't possibly get Burned ) That I can't use the Front Burners , because that just Feels wrong. I know....that's pretty kooky....But hey....I'm special that way.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Apr 08
You actually sound like you are a very conscientious mother. I don't think thats kooky in the least. Safety should be a priority in parenting. The only time I have punished my children with a spanking is when they have been warned not to cross a busy street and did it anyway.