Should you fight for the love of your life?
By trusko
@trusko (198)
April 6, 2008 3:00pm CST
So you met your soulmate, the love of your life. You are having a great time. You compliment each others personalities. Obviously its not always all rosy. But that is what relationships are about, right? Then he/she says I want some time for myself to explore life before I settle down. But you have been together for a long time. But because you love him/her, you agree. But after some time, you miss him/her. And you want her/him to be part of your life again.
He/she says my feelings haven't changed I just don't know how long this will take.
Do you just let them go? It makes sense right? But can you really tell your heart that?
They say if you love somebody, you have to let them go...
But you have been with this person for the last 10 years and you know he/she is the ONE. You have been lucky to find the Mr/Ms Right and now you have to let it go.
Would you? Could you?
3 people like this
16 responses
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
7 Apr 08
What do you think is the reason why the other person wanted "some time for himself/herself to explore life before settling down"? There must be a reason right? I mean, you just don't agree without knowing the reason.
It's not easy just to let go. It is indeed painful especially if the feeling you have for that person is so strong. However, you can't keep someone who wants to distance himself/herself away from you. If you have all the right reasons to fight for the love, go ahead...
1 person likes this
@cheenlly (3477)
• Philippines
7 Apr 08
if i love him truly yes i will let go even if it hurts because we need to make sure of ourselves. If he ask it because he need to make sure and need time to think then i will give him the freedom even if no assurance how long it will take or if there still a chance of going back. Well i believe if it's meant to be it will meant to be. Just have a lot of faith.
@candiec2005 (828)
• United States
7 Apr 08
I think that if he doesn't feel the same you do, then he's not the One. If a person really loves you, they will want to be with you and work things out. I would let him go. Obviously, he/she does not want to be in the relationship anymore and they're being shady. Just move on with your life (and I know it's harder said than done) but it's the best thing for you. The only time when I would wait for someone is if I have a ring on my finger otherwise, I wouldn't. I think it's selfish of that person to leave you hanging and not be straight with you, but don't fall for it. Read between the lines. It's over. Wish you the best of luck.
@candiec2005 (828)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Then that complicates things. I don't know what I would do, it would be a tough situation to be in. But as I said before, if he/she really loved you, he/she wouldn't be doing this to you. WHen you love someone, you want to be with that person and you don't want to hurt that person. That is something to really think about carefully. I would give him/her the space they needed, do my own thing, and try to move on with my life. I know it's easier said than done, but it's not fair to wait around for someone until they decide whether they want to be with you or not. That's not what love is about.
@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
7 Apr 08
That is right. If you love someone, you should let them go. Because when you love somebody, you want to make them happy and don't want to hurt them.
@sherrylwatts (326)
• United States
7 Apr 08
There is no possible way to win this fight - you can not force someone to love you or to want to be with you. I'm sorry you are hurting, and there is really no way that I know to get past the pain except time. Stay busy, spend time with friends, try your best to move forward and eventually you will, but you have to let the person go. You can not force them to stay, you can not force them to change their minds. They may love you, but for whatever reason, they feel the need to be alone right now. The chance you take is that they won't come back, but would you really want them to come back if they are not in this relationship fully? The chance they take is that if they want to come back, you may have moved on and realized they are not Mr/Ms Right. But as hard as it is to accept, the simple truth is you can not force love.
@mefadon3 (296)
• United States
7 Apr 08
You need to give them their space. It would be better to do this now, then to get married to this person and find out that they want to do their own thing. If she is right for you or he, for that matter, then they will eventually come back for you.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
7 Apr 08
i guess i can only wait and fight for that love for sometime... i can never know how much pain i would feel waiting.. and most probably waiting for nothing at all.
If i think he is the right person but he does not feel the same for me, what can i do with that? how can i force him to decide and not let me wait? i might not like what he will tell me...
if he needs more time, that could only mean i have to read between the lines and get the message through my head that he is wasting my time only to tell me soon that he does not feel the same for me anymore.
Even if it is hard.. i will let go. i will have to try to move on and accept that fact.
@Darkwing (21583)
•
7 Apr 08
No matter how hard it is, you have to give a person their freedom, and not cage them in. After ten years with you, he must have feelings for you, but there's so much out there that he's missed out on, as have you, yourself. Both of you need some time out to catch up with other friends and the things you've missed, and your heart will tell you where you should be.
There's a saying that if you really love a person, you should let him go, and if he returns, your love was meant to be, and he will stay with you forever. If he doesn't wish to return, then you'll know that you weren't meant to be, and he is not "The Soulmate" of your life. We all have many soulmates... some are friends, but only one is your twin soulmate.
Brightest Blessings my friend, and may you be guided into making the right and best decision for both of you. Good luck. xx
@maxsee212 (799)
• United States
7 Apr 08
i guess i could if my love of my life doesn't love me anymore. what's the point of staying in relationship that is not mutual. if my lover doesn't love me anymore, i would not waste my time being with her because i see no advantage in that case. maybe your partner is telling you something that you can't see. your partner might be suggesting that he/she doesn't love you anymore. this is why she/he is turning away from you. give him/her freedom, there's no point fourcing someone to love you. love is the desire of sexx and companionship. you can find a replacement out there.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
7 Apr 08
I would let it go. I have. He might seem right for me but if he needs space or I'm not right for him then what would the use of hanging on be? Obviously he is not right for me if I'm not right for him and obviously he is not my soul mate. I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't want to be with me. If he just needed space, I'd wait for a while but that whole while i'd be adjusting to not being with him and take it from there. I would not be sitting around waiting. I'd be re-building my life without him. If he came back...who knows. Depends on his story and how far I'd moved on.
@Petercheung (681)
• China
7 Apr 08
well,that is hard to say,that is depends on different situation,but If I love one,I will try my best wont let her go.
@dragonfly242 (1060)
• Bahamas
7 Apr 08
We can love a person more than life itself, but we can't make them stay with us if they don't want to. I know it's hard but you have to respect the other person's wishes, or you'll end up losing the very thing you're fighting for.Give them space and time and it may turn out in your favor. But whatever you do remember the heart is stronger than we think. I really hope things work out for you.
@whiteheron (4222)
• United States
6 Apr 08
It depends I think on how old the two of you both are. If you are very young,waiting to marry would increase the ability of a marriage to survive. If she or he is telling you that more time is needed then you have to decide if you want to wait or not. If you have been together the last 10 years and have not yet gotten married you may have a relationsip that is more of a friendship than one that will be a love relationship that leads to marriage.
@wittyakanksha (436)
• India
6 Apr 08
i see a point that you're trying to make here but what you have to think is whether that person thinks the same about you or not.i would suggest that you talk out with your mate and try to make her see the reason and also explain to her your side of the story.maybe there are reasons in her believing that she doesn't feel the same for you.it could be something you can help with and get her back in your life.it hurts when you love someone and she is unattainable.if you love try and talk but don't be too overpowering and scare her away.i wish you all the best!!
