I'm cold hearted to the idea of.. .Love...

@NeoComp (1320)
United States
April 6, 2008 5:01pm CST
I must say.. that at the age of 25.. I don't believe in love, romance.. marraige or happiness in love. I think that love is nothing more than a chemcical reaction.. and an illusion created in movies in books. I see so many slip into depression.. because they never find true love.. yet this is sad.. because love never was.. and is not real. I really like the song lyrics from a song called 7th sign.. but the rapper Bizzy Bone.. it goes like this... "I no longer want to die... I shedded my last tear.. when I found out.. love was a LIE!" that is one of the most powerful.. and true.. words ever spoken by a human..... The reason I made.. this post.. is because a friend of mine... has ruined his life.. because he believed in love... He broke up with a girl he loved since he was a teen... he's now 27.. After she left.. him. his life fell apart. he lost his place.. he left his job. .he deleted hi mypace.. won't answer. the phone... and just stays in his room all day.. he is a DEEP depression.. deeper. than any I have ever seen... I see many people like this... they think love is real.. and is limits their potential to do many great things in life... But as for me.. I'll stay cold hearted eternally... and be wise... thank you.
2 people like this
14 responses
@skinnychick (6907)
• United States
7 Apr 08
How sad for you...but to each their own.
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (11008)
• United States
7 Apr 08
It sounds to me like rather than not believing in love that you are afraid of it, since you feel it only leads to pain. If your friend had not loved this girl he would not be in so much pain now. There also many kinds of love, not just romantic love. Love for one's parents, children, pets, friends. Romantic love starts out to being chemical as you say, however those chemicals are only short term, when the chemicals fade and the couple stays together what is left is love. When my husband and I first met, we had all that chemical stuff, couldn't keep our hands off each other blah, blah. But we are still together 22 years later. We are still attracted to one another but the feelings we have are way beyond chemical. We are partners, we are friends, we are family, we are lovers, we are parents to our children, and I would love him and be with him even the most dire of circumstances, we have been together through deaths, through financial issues, through other painful trials of life and have come through all strong. So I am sorry but I can not believe that love does not exist or is purely chemical. I do hope you are not really going to give up on love, because if you do you might miss out on being with that person that will fullfil your world. Your friend is going through some pain at the moment, but in time if he does not anything drastic he will get over it. This was perhaps was not the girl for him, and quite possibly the feelings were a little stronger on his part than they were on hers. In all likely hood there is the right woman out there for him that will love him as much as he does her. Many of us go through painful relationships that don't work out, some people have several, but just because one does not work out does not mean that the right person is not out there somewhere, believe me I know, I kissed a few frogs before I finally found my prince.
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18453)
• India
7 Apr 08
Love has different meaning to different peopel. More or less i can say that I am also like you. i do not believe too much into it. I think its an illusion for a certain time period, when this breaks it gives you lots of pain. i have seen many 'great loves' breaking like glassware.
1 person likes this
@tessah (6621)
• United States
8 Apr 08
i used to feel the way you do.. did my entire life. even married a friend because it was the "logical" thing to do, and scolded my friends for marrying for love.. because love, didnt exist. then i woke up.. and learned differently. is it safer to be heartless? to keep a tight grip on emotions? sure.. if you dont feel anything, no one can hurt you. but it makes life pretty much pointless really. pain lets you remember youre alive. and when you DO find love.. it doesnt have to last forever, its still good just the same. and the times between the hurt, when things are good.. is what life is about.
@jairgirl (2877)
• United States
7 Apr 08
hello, i used to think and believe in the same way and i even told my self i will NEVER ever entertain such crap in my heart. i thought most people buy the crap coz they are afraid to be alone or they just want to feel that they are cared of. TILL i met this person who change my views on life and make me realize that LOVE indeed is real and true. i agree that there are so many reason walking in this planet with the thought and feeling they are in love or they have true love YET they are still feeling empty and still wondering why. based on my own experience i feel the reason for this is that, such person havent really found what he really looks for and was blinded by the overwhelming feeling not knowing what is real from what is not. there is a saying it is better to love and lose than not love at all... for those people who found true love they know that it is worth any pain in this world coz they found the IT in life and they dont have to search for it anymore. i am not sure if your friend's story affect you to have a stronger emotions against life but this is something for you to think about... your friend made that choice, all of us gamble in life and the top of it is LOVE. your friend is aware of it,,, MOST people are aware of it... the only sad part is that,,, such person dwells only on the pain part and not the happy part of the love process. ask your friend if there is a point in that relationship that he feels happy and he feels it is the best time of his life, im sure he will answer at least ONE TIME. like i said our mistake is dwelling more in the pain and not the love or the lesson learned from it. it will be more fruitful if we accept such journey in life and just use it to grow and be a better person. those who have positive thoughts about life always ends up finding the positive of it... BUT to those who sees only negative on it... there is nothing but sadness and pain and negativity to them coz they paint it that way... i have to disagree with the last part of your post, LOVE dont limit the potential,,, WE DO!!! this is MY view to this topic and if i offend you in some ways that is not my intention. takecare!
7 Apr 08
All this fantasy and tales are just crap. TOTAL CRAP. I myself don't believe in love. Its just an emotional toll along with all the other hell going on a persons life.
@MGjhaud (20685)
• Philippines
7 Apr 08
Although it's been so many years now that I don't have a boyfriend (and that's by choice), I still do believe in love. When your partner breaks it up, it doesn't define love that way. Love is not all about being together having the title of "lovers". You still can love the person but not all the way you want it to be though. When you're friend broke up with his partner, it happens for a reason. Tell him, his life won't stop there so don't make it a deal that he can't live without her. Being together since childhood is not a valid reason not to break up or part ways -- for now. Hey, we'll never know. Maybe one day, someday -- they'll meet again having different life and friends and maybe there's still that kind of love. And for you, it's a nice thing to be wise in a relationship but being cold is not really appropriate. What's the purpose of having a relationship if you're feeling that way. It's useless.
• United States
7 Apr 08
I am a couple of years older than you and I used to think just like you do until...I met someone who changed my mind about love and men entirely. He proved to me that not all men are skum (which is what I used to believe), and showed me what a real relationship is all about. You are still young. You're ONLY 25. Give it a lot more time. Although, I don't believe that all people are meant to find their soulmates (if we can call it that) since they have other purposes in life. However, I do know for a fact, that some people are meant to be with someone else for the rest of their life, and it's all about how and what you bring to the relationship or marriage. As you get older you will learn so much more about life and love. And believe when I say, love DOES exist. To some it may not, but to others it does. And that's really the bottom line: Love will only exist, if you let it live.
@cheenlly (3483)
• Philippines
7 Apr 08
It does makes sense love is chemical reaction but for me there is really love. Just maybe you haven't feel it yet and experience to love. When time comes when you have felt it yourself you can answer all your questions and then you can look back at this point of time that you have said this. Sure there are some depression and painful things when loving that's because thats part of it for you to know how to love is to feel how painful it is. Sometimes we need to experience pain to understand and know how to love. You can't stay cold all your life i believe because loving someone is really a good feeling. Like the saying that it's better to love that never love at all. Happy mylotting!
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Awwww. you are not cold hearted Neocomp. you are a caring person. I just don't think you are ready to commit yourself to anyone yet but that is okay. Do you seriously not care to be with someone? You are a very wise person but I don't know if I would want to spend my life alone without being able to love someone some time.
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
7 Apr 08
Well just because he had some bad luck in one relationship does not mean he will continue to have bad luck in all. I think to think the way you are thinking only is limiting to yourself and if it was not real then all of us would just be single and not need anyone in our life. Can you be alone forever because you believe that rubbish? Love is real and is what you make it. It can be great if you make the effort. If you don't you are a loser in that challenge. Not everyone knows how to love honestly either. For some people it is a learning curve and lesson in life.
@chiyosan (30203)
• Philippines
7 Apr 08
i think you still believe in it... only you see the negative side of being in love. I for one believe that love exist.. we feel its presence as they say love is in the air... we know it follows us to wherever we go. Love does not hurt us, it is the people we love that do. When you give your heart to someone, you love him/her... it is but normal that we have given that person the "power" to hurt us... and in most cases, they actually do hurt us. I have had my heart aches too... the first one being my father who betrayed us and left us for another woman... and so until now, i guess i have never fully given my 100% trust and love to those i have relationships with... my excess baggage.. and that protected me and i was never "hurt" as much as others was. you are right, the statement is so powerful but it goes for that one person who believed that it is a lie. for him... and maybe for you too... but not to all of us.
@livewyre (2455)
6 Apr 08
In my experience love is exactly what we make it. If we put our all into it, it can be all-consuming, if you can't commit to it, it will never happen for you. Love is like a self-fulfilling prophecy - if you say 'I'll never fall in love' you are right, it is entirely in your hands. Love is not a random thing that comes out of the blue. In my experience love is about CHOOSING to love someone, therefore, if you never choose to love you will indeed never be in love.. You are wrong though, love is not a chemical reaction otherwise it would be out of our hands, love is a choice that either you make or you don't.
• Canada
6 Apr 08
You can be in love, without having your potential limited. Sure, love is a chemical reaction. It is also, communication, commitment, and friendship. I am in love, and I am happy. Yes, if me and my boyfriend broke up I would be very upset. But life is about learning, and becoming a stronger person. And if love isn't real, then why is your friend so depressed? You also have to remember that losing someone you love isn't the only thing that can cause people to go into a depression. Maybe his heartbreak isn't all to blame? I don't believe that love is an illusion created by movies and books. Yes, they do play it up a whole lot, and make it seem too good to be true. But the idea for those movies and books came from real life. Plus, if I'm not in love, than why do I feel the way I do? Why am I willing to do the things I do? I believe that love is as real as our own two feet.