Sometimes you just don't want to be nice.

I have thought about it sometimes, but the times that I have lost it boil down to hardly anything at all. I think that I said somewhere else that I have a fiery temper. So ashamed am I by this that I have learnt to suppress it. However, about 15 years ago I worked for a woman with whom I thought I got on well. Not only did we work well together, but we saw each other socially too (not as in dating). My wife and I would spend weekends with her and she and her husband would come here. The organisation that we worked for had an annual appraisal system. When it came my turn for her to write about me I got the shock of my life. She wrote the most unpleasant stuff that anybody had ever written, and that included someone that made it clear that he really did not like me. I was very hurt and asked her how she could write this stuff and why she hadn't mentioned any of it during the year. She said that it was true and that was that!! I am afraid that I exploded. I said things to her that I should have been sacked for. I then went for a walk, which is something that I ought to have done before I exploded. When I returned I was called in to explain myself by our mutual boss. He listened to what i said and then called her in. He made her re-write the report! We are still on reasonable terms actually, although she divorced and moved far away. But things have never been quite the same again. I am ashamed of myself for acting that way frankly. I could have achieved the same end by being more grown up.

yes, it happens to me also. at some points in life, its actually beyond control to just act fine and nice to all. i lose my control over things when i am very much annoyed and may be end up being a little rude to people. i thnk it ahppens to all.

yes, that is soo true. it is so easy being "us" and at some point, we can not control ourselves anymore cause we really need to say what we feel and think right at that moment.. i have had my share of these kind of moments, right after i said the words i have soo long held back, it actually felt good. and yes i feel wonderful i said every word in my mind and did not regret it.

I never hold back when I want to say something. I always speak what I feel. Why pretend to be something you're not... you can be polite and pleasant whilst being yourself. You don't have to try so hard if you project your real self. The secret is within. If you develop a strong but caring personality, then you will never feel the need to be impolite or pretentious. If they don't like the way you are, then they'll stay clear. I'm not short of friends who accept me for who and what I am, so speaking as you see can't be a bad thing as long as you're honest and not too harsh with it. Brightest Blessings.

Very nice discussion kbourgerie, To tell you the truth, now a days I have become veryu impulsive. I get angry for little things. I even get angry at myself, because I think I got matured very late and made terrible mistakes in life. Besides this now my children are big and they act different, I feel I am left out and all alone, my daughter says I am going through middle age crisis.....many things hurt me a lot.....I think my husband understand me but the fact is that he does not understand anything.....lol. so my nature which once upon a time was so loving supportive and jolly is changing and sometimes I just don't want to be nice any more.....am I doing right........and if I am making a mistake then what should I do...what the hell is happening to me???????????? Have lost interest in everythng.

It's difficult to become a nice person. Sometimes I behave no good with my friend. Because at that time I fell in period of crisis. I can't control myself.

I have thrown my Phone several times when I was Married lol but I was always alone when I did it Yes there are times I want to shout at someone I want to throw things but I don't I always hold back and just calm myself down

of course what misguided notion is that a person has to be nice, when there is nothing to be nice about, a person should be true to themselves, if not they are a hypocrite especially to others. it is an injustice to yourself and the other person, if you say that you like everything about someone and you don't you are lying, and you are not helping that person to grow as a person, to know is wrong or what needs to be changed the you I am referring to is the general you, as in all people not directed at you the person.

Yeah I have plenty of times wanted to say how I feel. With my familyt. My dad and his new wife. I try to be nice to her but it's not easy. I mean one time I walked pss the Walmart Shoe Department she was working. I din't see her. She tells my dad like I am some kid or something. I feel like wanting to tell her about her self.So I understand how you feel.

Many times I have felt like just letting it all out and most of the time I don't. Only when I am pushed to the edge then I let it all go. Doesn't happen often but I have on a couple of occasions and even though it felt good to let it all out, it left a sour taste in a friendship or two.

We all feel that way sometimes or at least most of us do sweetheart! You made me laugh when you talked about throwing things - I once threw an iron at my partner cos he wouldn't stop annoying me when my nerves were already frazzled, I knew there was not a chance of me hitting him with it but it did relieve the stress! Cost me £50 to replace the iron though! xxx

yes. I do get in those moods and people get all concerned because I normally am not like that. Then sometimes I just don't...can't hold back at all. People get all concerned because it is out of character for me. I second guess mysef and think...what is wrong with me to be so rude? Maybe I was just having a bad day and yet I was just speaking my mind. These same people put up with people who talk even at their best ruder than me all the time. Why the reaction? maybe because it is out of character.

O boy would I... I don't think I would know where to begin.I think I would start with my mother in-law.I would tell her to keep her blank blank in her own buisness.Somedays she makes me want to pull my own hair out.And no she doesn't mean well.But I can say most of the time I tell people what I think just in a different way.Maybe not so blunt.It's cool that you wrote this.alot of people are afraid to speak up sometimes.Maybe this will give them a chance to really let someone have it lol :)

Sometimes I get the urge to voice my opinion on matters that would inspire conflict, but usually I just stay calm and act like a well-mannered person. If a problem does come up I try to resolve it before any other furthur actions. Although there is nothing wrong with saying what's really on your mind, people should voice what they really want to say through outlets such as art and music. The world would be a very beautiful place if that would happen.

Ahh this is a good discussion that I can share my experience 1) It would be nice if my neighbor can tell whoever the visitors to park their car outside, not inside and blocking my driveway. My driveway was blocked in the morning when I go to work and visitor say she is sorry and won't do it again. But her nice words did not last long, the same visitor block again my car when I return to work. I was not happy, bad day at work and I told my wife to tell the visitor to remove the car from my driveway. This has to stop, I have to speak with the council if this happens over and over again 2) Neighbor's dog...for God's sake it's annoying. Not only the dog barks anyone approach neighbor house including me since our house are very closely located. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because of that crazy dog barking all night long. I have to tell neighbor to keep the dog inside her house 3) Last house meeting with neighbors, my wife and I have agreed to pay some money to install the lights to dim the driveways. More than 3 months have passed and it still not installed. Driveways remain dark every night!

your right, it happen to me sometimes those word that much better to till them than i keep inside i dont care even i hurt them but it will be good me. keeping aside the word that make you explore in one day is not good. but tilling them & you can breath freely :)

Yea sometimes I wish I could just tell my boyfriend that he is an idiot because he doesn't think things through, or tell my mother that yes, I do live with my boyfriend and I don't see anything wrong with it. And to stop telling me how to run my life, because it's mine not hers. Or to tell some of the people I work with, to shut the f*ck up because they annoy the hell out of me. But I don't1, I just say it in my head. I wouldn't want to say these things either because it's not cool to hurt other peoples feelings. To me it's always best to be the better person.

yes, sometimes the urge is strong and perhaps that is why we find such nasty attitudes that can exist in online forums, as many are not so inhibited in expressing themselves as they would be in person - and that tends to desensitize us and as a result I think more and more people are not tempering their words and actions in real life either. I guess the trick is to not just temper our actions but even our thoughts. I hope that one day I will be able to.

im nothing if not myself, and im pretty nice for the most part. but i have told someone their hair looks like crap.. or their butt was too big to fit in the jeans theyd crammed it into, that their husband/wife was a scumbag.. i wont pretend to be anything that im not for the delicate sensibilities of another.. and im happier for it, the friends i have are REAL friends, and they, nor i, would have me any other way. and those who would? dont matter!

I was raised in the south, so I learned from a very young age to be nice, nice, nicety nice - think serious sugar shock. There are times when I do just want to up and tell someone in very caustic terms exactly what I think, but I bite down on it and rephrase it in a nicer way. As horrible as it sounds, I'm teaching my daughters the same thing, because it is almost impossible for someone to deny what you're saying when you're sweet as pie (even if what you're saying is not so sweet). For example to steal some of what goodie123 was saying: About the dog - "Isn't it just ever so wonderful that we live in a neighborhood with a dog that is so....(significant pause)...vigilant. Now if the neighborhood could just find someone way to tell whether he's barking at the wind or whether he's cornered an intruder." About the busi-body - "How wonderful it is that you have the time to take such an...active...interest in my life" Anyway, you get the idea, course it always helps to have a best friend and / or a husband that you can turn around to and say - you know darlin' some people are just too stupid to live - LOL!