I was approached by a lesbian friend as a possible partner...

@ruby222 (4848)
April 9, 2008 9:26am CST
A good few years ago a lesbian friend had a `crush` on me....I was a little bit unnerved...but she was a good friend...so I didnt want to offend her.... I just laughed it off and carried our friendship on as though it had never happened.. Would you have been offended?
1 person likes this
12 responses
• United States
9 Apr 08
I wouldn't be offended. Your friend enjoys your company and finds you attractive - both of those are compliments and should be taken as such. I would have laughed it off also, especially if I enjoyed their company - I'd have probably said something like "I know my hubby/boyfriend is driving me crazy - but I'm not ready to switch teams yet - LOL" Course my friends and I joke that one day we might just turn lesbian - you never have to fight about who controls the remote and you could double your wardrobe just by dating someone ;-)
@ruby222 (4848)
9 Apr 08
LOL Sheryl...well i int want to lose her friendship that was a certainty!! im not remotely interested in whether someones gay or straight....in a way i maybe felt a little bit sad for her.... Ive often joked as you have..that in another life im going to turn!!!!lolol...but then i think you would get the faults whichever way it was!!! But lol to swap wardrobes..make sure you team up with thew same size as you!!!!
• United States
9 Apr 08
Oh absolutely the same size - that would certainly be a requirement - especially the same shoe size - can you imagine - having having twice as many shoes!!! Sigh - oh well, a girl can dream!
• United States
9 Apr 08
my girlfriend and i are the same size and she works at a designer boutique store, so we just buy something we both like and then take turns wearing it. we always have the most fashionable clothes.
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
10 Apr 08
Hi Ruby, WOW!! Amazing. Errr, I've never been approached by a lesbian of course, LOL..but I've been approached by this particular gay guy. But he's not really my friend, just someone that happens to work at the same office as me which was a few years back. He sort of talked to me everyday and I knew he was gay but just treated him like "one of the guys". So, when one day he "hinted" to me that he had feelings for me, I was very uneasy and really had difficulty in sleeping because I wouldn't know how to face him the next day onwards. He took it bad because since that day, I didn't really talked "friendly" with him. But I wasn't trying to be rude or anything like that. In fact, I was very shocked and at the same time, had a very slow response to things like what should I do next and should I talk as per normal or just act blur etc. So, I chose to be quiet and let things subside. The next I knew, he spread the word in the office that I'm a loser. I just shrugged it off but I really wasn't in the run to hurt "his" feelings. It was just as spot-on reacting from me since I didn't really expect that kind of thing to happen. But there are other gay friends whom I known them to be my friend's friend etc; and they are pretty cool about being buddies like going for an outing together as a group like that. There are gays that are cool like that, and won't harbor their feelings just like that to you. Good discussion here, made me remember my past. ;)
@ruby222 (4848)
10 Apr 08
Hi Zed...oh thats a pain really...he obviously wasn`t going to accept the knock-back gracefully....but to say that you were a loser etc..was a little unkind..But hurt as you well know comes out in many ways. For that to happen in your place of work must have been a tiny bit embarassing,but its just part of life!! As you point out lol the gay fraternity are no different than the straight!!..there are good and bad..and happy and sad among both groups!! Thanks for your input Zed .
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
10 Apr 08
You are welcome, Ruby. Haha, yes you are absolutely right, there's nothing that I could do at that time and perhaps he wasn't used to getting no for an answer, :p. Anyway, you are right too that gays and lesbians alike are just normal humans and there are definitely the none too good types and the real good types. Yes, I was so embarrassed at that time when suddenly everyone sort of gossiped about me. But I've learned a very valuable lesson from all this to be more careful next time and not to give "mixed signals". ;)
9 Apr 08
I would surely be offended. The friend should first make sure that he/she an I think alike or not. You cannot randomly approach anyone.
@ruby222 (4848)
9 Apr 08
Thanks for your comments. A delicate situation!
• United States
9 Apr 08
i would be offended if she was as ignorant as you, wickedself
• Bangladesh
10 Apr 08
i never face this kind of sisuation.
@ruby222 (4848)
10 Apr 08
Thankyou for commenting
@Elixiress (3893)
10 Apr 08
Offended by what? A friend having a thing for me? Or a friend giving me the brush off. I wouldn't be offended either way, but more so had being brushed off, I would take a friend having a thing for me as a compliment.
@ruby222 (4848)
10 Apr 08
Thats a good comment..thankyou
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
10 Apr 08
Nope but refuse it in a way not to offend her also like what you have done! Its ok to be honest and confide our feelings so no reason for us to be offended but as long as we handle it properly we will maintain the frienship that which is a good thing and as long also as she will be open-minded enough to understand why you refuse her then no problem at all!
@ruby222 (4848)
10 Apr 08
Thankyou for your comment Che
@gemini_rose (16193)
9 Apr 08
No I do not think I would have been offended at all, I certainly do not think I would have let it affect the friendship, not if I could help it anyway. I would probably feel a little flattered that she thought that much about me. I would like to think that I would have done the same thing as you did.
@ruby222 (4848)
10 Apr 08
Hi Rose..yes there was no way i wanted to lose her friendship ...so i did what i thought best at the time
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
9 Apr 08
No I wouldn't have been offended. I would probably be surprised that she thought there was any possibility of me being interested since from all appearances I am very straight. The only reason our friendship wouldn't be the same after would be if she couldn't handle being only friends.
@ruby222 (4848)
9 Apr 08
I was suprised to say the least.....but our friendship didnt fall apart over it...we still remaine very good friends
@unuzzz (1274)
• Indonesia
9 Apr 08
hi ruby222 hahaa, hmm don't know what to write actually i have never been on such position, but one of my friend did and he got scared.. hahaaa i'm not used to use the 'offend' word but my friend's experience is a little different with yours the other 'guy' is not his close friend nor mine errmm.. if it's me, i think i might be offended ?? actually i think i will be more in a sad condition than in being offended the friendship will not be the same, and surely i'm not going to be able to stay close with him thanks ruby222 .. ^^
@ruby222 (4848)
9 Apr 08
Thankyou for your comments..very interesting
@GreenMoo (11842)
9 Apr 08
I think I'd feel quite chuffed at this proof that I could still pull at my advanced age actually!! I certainly wouldn't be offended, but I'd probably be rather surprised that my friend would approach me in this way if I'd not previously given her any reason to suspect that I'd be interested.
@ruby222 (4848)
9 Apr 08
LOL Moo..trust you!!!!..no seriously maybe i should have taken it as a compliment!!..but apart from the usual girl/woman talk there was never anything to intimate that I actually felt anything for her....maybe she just felt a little bit lonely at the time
• Romania
9 Apr 08
Not offendet, but just a bit sad.
@ruby222 (4848)
9 Apr 08
That was a little bit how i felt..sad..but for her...as i just didnt want to hurt her feelings in anyway!!
@selby70 (283)
9 Apr 08
no I would not be offended, the same thing happened to me a lot of years ago and like you I laughed it of and that was the end of the matter and we stayed friends for years until she moved away.
@ruby222 (4848)
9 Apr 08
Yes we have always stayed friends...and she went on to have a very successful relationship...which pleased me no end!!!!