Spanking concidered abuse?

United States
April 10, 2008 11:34pm CST
I guess as I just read a ppost about spanking and people thinking its sooooo wrong,I spank my daughter when she misbehaves as a last resort.I guess I rather give my kids a swat on the butt every now and then than see them act like I have seen someother kids act in the stores.I have had people tell me its about time they see someone disipline there children then let them run wild and do as they please. What is so wrong with a spanking every now and then if it works?Do you spank or swat your childrn on the bottom?Do you view that as a form of abuse?and if so why?
4 people like this
13 responses
@mcat19 (1358)
• United States
11 Apr 08
I'm not a fan of spanking. What are you teaching your child when you "swat" or spank her? That bigger and stronger is right? That it's OK to hit to get what you want? That she should be afraid of you? Yes, it works, but what if she grows bigger than you? Will you hit her then? harder? I'm a grandmother of 5. One of my daughters has discussed things with her 3 boys as soon as they could talk. Even before that, she would explain why something was wrong. The boys are now very verbal and do listen. I'm not sure I consider it child abuse, just an unnecessary discipline method. Discipline is not punishment; it should be educational and instructive. When my younger daughter was a toddler, she used to run into the street. I used a halter. I was criticized -- you put your child on a leash -- by loads of people. But it kept her from running in the street; she didn't mind it at all; she suffered no ill effects; and I didn't have to hit her or yell at her, neither of which would have worked.
@bdugas (3581)
• United States
11 Apr 08
I also had a problem with my son wanting to sit in the street and play and it was either keep him inside all day or find a way that he could be outside and I could do the things I had to do. A lady brought me a harrnes like you would put on your dog and we would chain him to the clothes line and he would run and play all he wanted. He was right outside the kitchen window so I could see him. Oh god the responses I got from some of the neighbors, he was being treated like a animal. Well he was being treated like the little boy he was and he was perfectly happy. A lot better than like you said to run into the street even if you out there with him and get killed. He is grown now and runs a trucking company and I doubt if he even remembers it.
1 person likes this
@bdugas (3581)
• United States
11 Apr 08
I am now 60 years old and when I was a child I was spanked by my mother, when I acted up. In turn I spanked my children when they needed it. And I think that this crap of if you spank your kid you will be arrested is a bunch of bullcrap. I have 3 and they have respect for themselves and for others. Kids I see now adays have no respect for anyone. And will let you know real fast that they will call children services on you if you touch them. It is like the law has given them the right to do what they want. But let one get into trouble and they are right there to blame the parent. Kids have to be taught respect, and time out isn't going to do it. I have a 14 year old grand daughter with a trash mouth, every other word out of her mouth is the F word, I let her know that it will not be tolerated in this house and if she says it one more time she will be popped in the mouth. What is wrong with the kids now adays is the government has made it too easy for them to cuss their parents, go where they want and I would love to get my hands on some of them on the Morey Popich show. Back when I was a kid you might think about hitting your parent, but that was all it was was a thought unless you wanted to be picking your butt up from under the table. Let the parents raise their kids, unless you see bruises on them or know that they are really being abused government stay out of it. You will find that there are not as many on the streets as there are now.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
11 Apr 08
What you say there is right, the government has given children way too much control.
@bdugas (3581)
• United States
11 Apr 08
That is right that is why we see kids on Morey Popich cussing and shooting the bird and out in the street, drinking and smoking. But boy let them get into trouble and you the bad parent. I had a 14 year old when told No she decided to take it to court to go live with her dad, they said she was old enough to say where she wanted to live, even though me and my bf had a $25. an hour income and her father wasn't working. They picked her up in the street and brought her to me, and I had been told no contact with her, they returned her to her father and a family member raped her and she ended up in a group home. The court then said it my place to take her back. I hadc her it wasn't good enough for them. Unless the courts can come up with something to prove your child is being abused, beaten, sexally asulted, they need to keep their noses out of it. I'm sorry but no kid of mine would stand in my face and spit on me or curse me the way I have seen some do, but you know those kids don't have parents that give a crap what they do most of the time.
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12845)
• Australia
12 Apr 08
i don't really like the idea of spanking a child but i don't consider it as an abuse... i think that when it is really needed, then we have to use it as a form of discipline... as long as we don't overuse it, i don't think it should be considered as abuse...
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Apr 08
I believe that spanking should only be used if absolutely neccessary. If you child can get hurt and you told them time and time again not to do that than yeah a spanking might be necessary. Some parents though just get too out of hang. They will get angry and instead of correcting their child and explaining why what they did was wrong they will spank their child instead. THis is where I think the abuse comes in in my opinion. If your child does not know what they are getting spanked for and do not know what they are suppose to do to not get into trouble than it's abuse. sdpanking should be the last resort. and after the child is spanked the parents needs to sit the child down and explain to them why they were spanked and what they can do to prevent from being spanked. Hey it's different strokes for different folks and people are always gone to differ on opinion how one corrects their kid.
1 person likes this
11 Apr 08
My argument against spanking is that it gives kids the wrong values in life. Kids will be kids - they're going to behave badly sometimes, they're going to get on their parents nerves from time to time. We did it to our parents and no doubt our parents did it to theirs too. I see no reason to hit them when they don't behave immaculately - a simple telling off and an instruction not to do it again would probably do a better job. It teaches children to work out problems with words rather than resorting to physical force, a value which I think we can all appreciate the importance of in this day and age.
1 person likes this
11 Apr 08
When my son was younger he only ever received a light slap on the back of his hand in extreme cases when he really needed the discipline. When my son threw a tantrum in the shops I would ignore him, walk a few steps away from him and then wait for him to realise his tantrums didn't work.
1 person likes this
@rnpcag (52)
• Philippines
12 Apr 08
It is not wrong to spank the kids. It is Biblical to spare the rod. It is a form of discipline. Of course, parents definitely don't like their kids to be hurt. But it will be hurtful for them emotionally if they see their kids grow up irresponsible and undisciplined. Spanking is not a form of abuse if it is reasonable.
@THKOhio (330)
• United States
2 May 08
But the rod mentioned in the Bible was used to lead and direct the sheep, not to beat them. I guide and direct my children on a daily basis, but I never have to hit them to do so. None of my children are irresponsible or undisciplined...they are good people.
• United States
12 Apr 08
I agree with all the people who say it is not abuse. I was spanked on the butt when i misbehaved. Some people I grew up with were not spanked. Their parents told them not to do something. And that was all. Most of the time kids wont listen. I dont think that abuse is good. Abuse is hitting to where it leaves marks. A spanking is not abuse. I did not like it as a child but now i understand why my parents did it and it made me better behaved.
@THKOhio (330)
• United States
2 May 08
I agree that it takes more than just talking, but I don't agree that the something more has to be hitting them.
@THKOhio (330)
• United States
2 May 08
My children are 22, 18 and 15. They have never been spanked in their lives, for any reason. I don't believe that a child needs to be hit to learn something. We prefer to use natural and/or logical consequences that relate directly to the misbehavior in some way.
@emeraldisle (13146)
• United States
12 Apr 08
No I don't view it as a form of abuse. A swat now and then can be very effective. I know when my niece was little some times it was needed. No it wasn't the only form of punishment used either. So much though depends on the child. I know some children a time out for two minutes works great or in taking a way a toy for a short time but others you could remove all their toys or put them in time out for hours and it won't matter they will continue to do negative behavior. You have to gear the discipline so that it's appropriate for the child and the wrong doing. Of course anything taken to extreme can be abuse but we aren't talking about extremes. I see too many kids now a days who run around, who make scenes in stores and so on and I hear parents "Well just reason with them" or "Make a deal with them", that's not giving any sort of discipline. That's sending the message well if I act up enough I'll get them to agree to some aspect. Yes you should always explain why what they are doing is wrong or why it's not acceptable but there needs to be consequences and so often I see children have no consequences for their wrong doing. Whether those consequences are a time out, grounding, loss of a privilege or a swat on the behind it should be consistent, match with the child and the behavior and always be fairly given.
• United States
11 Apr 08
I was spanked when I was little and guess what....I'm still ALIVE and I do swat my kids on there butt as a last resort. I think I threaten them more with it then anything cause once she hears I'm going to swat her especially in public she straitens up. Its not like I beat her she it embarrasses her more then anything. I believe that kids these days are WAY to spoiled and rotten. look back in the days where are grandparents and parents were raised...do you think they would have gotten away with half the stuff our kids get away with???
@gratitude (181)
• South Africa
11 Apr 08
I strongly believe in handing out a good wack to a child from the age of about 3. They are old enough to understand NO or stop that or dont touch that etc. We were giving hidings when we grew up and it has made me a better person. I say this as I have many friends that were never given hidings growing up. Today they are full of nonsense, throw tantrums, sulk and are actually nasty towards others when things dont go their way. Giving a child a hiding is ok as long as you use just your hand and not a flipping weapon as such (shoe /whip /wooden spoon etc). By giving a child a hiding, it gives them an instant wake up call that what you said...you meant it! I have watched tv programs like Ricki Lake, who continuously had people on stage, that had absolutely no manners or respect for their parents, who did as they pleased because they were not ALLOWED to be physically disciplined. Those kids would never get away with what they do over there, here!
• New Zealand
11 Apr 08
In NZ loke a lot of other countries smacking has been made illegal because some people have the opinion that children learn to be violent. I have only my own observation from life to judge this by. When we had corporal punishment in schools most kids who stepped out of line left the classroom for a few minutes and were dealt to by the cane. They then went back to class and resumed their education. With no cane if a child steps out of line the schools only last resort is suspension or expulsion. The child misses weeks or months of education while it is sorted out or in the case of expulsion cannot find another school willing to take them. The result of this is a young uneducated adult who cannot get a job and is more likely to resort to crime. Surely this is a no brainer as to which method is the best for the child. Ponder this....If smacking teaches a child to be violent why is todays generation the one that beats up old ladies and is generally violent in nature when the generation who were smacked (only to used as a last resort) tend to be more the pacivists.