PDA (public display of affection) how much is too much? huh?

@jairgirl (2879)
United States
April 12, 2008 9:11pm CST
i love to show my love with my husband be it public or not and i honestly dont understand why people seems to think it shouldnt be this way. the thing is you are married with this man and you can hug him, kiss him, hold his hands wherever and whenever you want to. do you show such affection in public? i love the fact that my husband shows his love to me and it do makes me feel so special, i mean we are not doing anything other than the stuff i mention above but i dont get why people look at you as if you are doing a crime or a sin (if you may) dont you love to see someone holding hands and or have a couple giving each other a peck on the cheek or lips? dont get me wrong, i dont like my relationship to be so matured or boring. some couples if they are married they forget those feelings when they were teenagers feeling the love in the air. NOW, i see couples walking far from each other, husband wont open doors for their wife or partner, and doing those small sweet things they usually do when they were just start dating. why forget the beauty of it, the wonderful feeling it gives to both of you. do you really have to mind what others think about you guys? i honestly dont care coz i feel there is nothing wrong with it, or is it? can you tell me why? what goes to your mind if you see a couple who is not afraid to show their love to each other in public? will you show your love in public? why and why not? anyway, i will be happy to hear your views regarding this matter as i want to understand the thought process of some,,, like you! takecare!
6 people like this
25 responses
@tatiana07 (498)
• Philippines
31 Aug 08
im not comfortable with pda before but my husband loves doing it that's why i don't care anymore..holding hands, light kisses from my husband makes me quiver..harr harr
1 person likes this
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
3 Sep 08
hello tataina, thanks for being here and for sharing your thoughts about the subject. i honestly understand where your feelings are coming from, i have a friend who behaves like you do but when she got a boy friend and feels the happiness and the excitement it brings - i have to say that i cant help but tease here that i cant hardly remember the old person she is LOL it is great that you husband shows you that kind of love and affection and it sure makes one feel wonderful, special an dloved. i wish you all the best. good night!
29 Jul 08
To my mind there is nothing wrong in a public display of affection,in fact it is good to see,as there is so much sadness in the world today,a hug,an embrace can make the day sem much brighter and its lovely to see the affection on show regardless of whether the couples are youg or older,in fact why souldnt we openly displey our affections.
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
30 Jul 08
hello ella1bella, thanks for being here! i cant help but smile coz you remind me of the feeling i always have whenever i see a couple happily showing their love and affection to each other. you are very right that our world has so much negativity already and the last thing we would like to see is a couple fighting and unhappy. i always tell my husband that i hope when we are both grey haired and having a hard time walking (LOL) he can still hold my hand and give me a kiss telling me that i am his only one. i think as long as it is not destructing and not to a point of making out then it is fine. btw, you sound like a happy content one - congratulations! takecare!
• Philippines
31 May 08
I am a very affectionate person, I do PDA but in an appropriate amount, not to the extent of making out in public. LOL. =)
1 person likes this
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
31 May 08
hello there, cant blame you for showing that love as i do to LOL showing and making out is two different thing, at least you know what is too much and that is all that matters. wish you all the best. takecare!
• United States
30 May 08
Because not everyone who show public display of effection is married. its one thing to say to youre children they are married so its okay for them to kiss each other and do these things... what do you say when you see 2 who are not married? and anyways i dont think holding hands and kiving someone a peck here and there bothers people. its when they are jamming their tounges down each others throats. touching the ones butt and rubbing up all on someone and just doing things like that things that should be done in a bedroom not in town . holding hands and giving your husband a kiss is fine as long as it is a short peck.
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
30 May 08
hello, thanks for your response THOUGH i have to disagree with your first statement regarding the word "married". i feel it is hypocritical to say it nor even think that not married couple shouldnt kiss or hug or show their affection to one another if they are not married at all. you have to remember that our REAL world is full of partners that are living together or even those who are just dating that goes beyond just kissing and hugging be it public or private. you know it happens and i can say that majority here and even kids knows that most of the couple they see in public are not married. often times we miscalculate the knowledge of the kids as we think that they dont know the real world BUT in reality sometimes they know better than some oldie. generation now is different compared to 50's or 60's (and i think even then they do have an idea, who knows) you asked me "what do you say when you see 2 who are not married?" what would i say, NOTHING!!! because it is none of my business and i will honestly feel happy knowing that they are happy and they have found someone who shows love with them in such a way. i dream about that and i am happy that i have one. most of my friends and some people i have known says that they wish they have a relationship like mine coz after almost 5 years we are still like the same couple who fell in love that day. THOUGH if the couple that i see is showing more than just kiss and hug and i know it is a public place with lots of kids then i will look on the kids and hope that their parents or guardian is watching over them and not let them enjoy the scene BUT if its a public place that are more older - 16 and above (i said 16 coz like i said our generation age/matured so fast now) then i wouldnt care at all UNLESS of course if they are stripping each other then they might get a shocking look from me. i appreciate your response and i respect your views i guess we fall in the different beliefs when it comes to your first statement. takecare!
• Philippines
30 May 08
If i see some couples having PDA i just don't mind them besides it is their right to expose their feelings... it is okay for me unless they strip their clothes off
1 person likes this
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
30 May 08
hahaha, yeah i will surely give them a big eyes of shock if i see them stripping LOL we dont have laws that prohibit us to show our love to one another in fact God wants us to love one another and encourage us to be able to show it to the one we love even to our enemies (not that you need to kiss him/her LOL) i feel that love should be free and we can be able to be who we are provided that we know our limit for the sake of kids but if there is none and others are giving you a look with just a simple kiss makes me wonder if they are happy with their partner or if they dont like (no not hate) someone happy or in love. appreciate your response. takecare!
@mefadon3 (299)
• United States
17 Apr 08
I think that holding hands and hugging or okay, maybe a quick kiss, but if a couple is looking like they need to go get a room, then they need to go and get one. I don't want to see too much PDA, it is not appropriate, you have other people around you, kids could be around and watching. It just should be kept to a minimum.
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
17 Apr 08
hello mefadon3, thanks for being here. i agree with you completely coz i am also concern about what kids can see and learn outside their home. i feel that all of us are responsible for our action and we should know how to respect other's specially if we are out in the public BUT if someone just want to diss you of coz you are showing a simple affection to your partner then to me that is just retarded. i guess some just want to do it for not reason, takecare!
• Philippines
3 Jun 08
hi jairgirl... wow this discussion is 2months old already and here i am going to reply to this am i late? hehe... first i am very happy for you and your husband that you love each other so much and very sweet! ^_^ i think PDA such as holding hands, hugging,quick kiss is not Good... but if PDA such as Frenchkissing, and other stuff that is disturbing to the public. then its wrong! Just my thoughts! hehe SMILE ALWAYS...^_^
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
3 Jun 08
hello metal_monkee, dont worry there is no such thing as LATE in my dictionary here in mylot LOL wow go got me confused did you just wrote in there i think PDA such as holding hands, hugging,quick kiss is not Good and the other is wrong? is that what you mean? or you mean the first statement is GOOD anyway, appreciate your response and for your kind words regarding me and my hubby. i am a sweet person and i love the fact that my man shows the same way too. IMHO it is best to live a life where you are free to show such love and not worry about others (of course in some extent) but love should be able to show as well as feel BUT oh well... how about you? how do you show your love with your gf? takecare
• Philippines
4 Jun 08
waaaah i am also confuse myself hehe...sorry its a typographical error it should be holding hands, hugging, quick kiss is good for your question about my love life...its sad to say i haven't found her yet... that it... good night! SMILE ALWAYS..^_^
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
4 Jun 08
good morning! haha, i got you the first time i just want to make sure coz assumption most of the time leads you nowhere. anyway, sorry about the NOW in your love life im sure you will have her in the right time. you didnt reply to my question, im sure you have the PAST so how do you show your love to her? takecare
@chrysz (1604)
• Philippines
13 Apr 08
I don't think there is something wrong with PDA as long as they are not obscene. What you are doing - smack kissing, hugging, holding hand, are all acceptable for me. Of course, necking and torrid kissing should not be shown in public. It's just that there are groups of people who don't accept these kinds of showing affection and think that they are being disrespectful to other people especially to the woman. Here in the Philippines, holding hand, especially in the rural areas is already a big deal so how much more of hugging and kissing? But in the urban areas, like in Metro Manila, we don't mind people showing PDA though some would really stare at you if they see you hugging tightly. In Japan I think, women are not even allowed to walk beside their hubby. I think, the culture has something to do with it but personally, I would love to show the public how much I adore my hubby.
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
13 Apr 08
hi chrysz, thanks for sharing your views. yes, culture plays such a role in showing affection with your partner. funny coz you mention countries in asia and i have noticed that some parts of asia dont agree with this stuff so they do crazy stuff privately and end up having a baby. i feel such culture cage such feeling so they do it somewhere else :) i have some friends online from middle east and they told me that it doesnt matter if they are married or not they cannot go near their partner coz it is against the rule or culture or belief. anyway, i do agree that matured person shouldnt show more than normal affection in public coz some kids are there and it is just being respectful. thanks again! takecare!
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
14 Apr 08
hello, sorry to hear the story bout the "kiss". i have friends almost all over asia and i know what it is likes to be in such position. i used to have this great friend in the philippines and when we come visit her in baguio i was sitting on my husband's lap and found out in the end that she is telling some other people that i disgust her for showing such affection to my man. like the girl you mention, she end up being pregnant as well and go figure why, LOL! it is never easy to be in such position and great for you to just ignore such PUBLICITY hahaha! i feel that if we live our life in a way that we are not hurting anybody then we shouldnt worry and just live a life the way we want it to be. some are just jealous you know. anyway, i hope you are happy and stay the way you are. takecare!
@chrysz (1604)
• Philippines
17 Apr 08
I agree with you, as long as we are hurting anybody, there is nothing wrong with PDA. It;s just that some people are not as open minded and understanding as we are so we end up thinking also of what we did wrong to offend them when in fact, we were the one who were one who must be offended for their actions.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
14 Apr 08
I think it is beautiful when a couple is obviously in love. I especially love seeing an older couple that still acts that way after so many years. It is only overdone if a couple is so carried away, that you feel like shouting to them to go get a room but you don't that that much anyway.
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
14 Apr 08
hello sid556, yes, it is absolutely beautiful to see a couple showing and sharing the love they have for each other to some extent :) thanks for thinking i dont do that much anyway, keep that thought LOL kidding aside, i wish people are more accepting with those who chose to show their love be it a straight or not couple, but some still dont. oh well! thanks for dropping by! takecare!
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
14 Apr 08
Yes, that thought crossed my mind as I hit the respond button. I answered as a straight person because I am but I wished I had added that it doesn't matter who you are showing love to...It is so much nicer to see than the disrespect that is so prevalent these days. I too, wish people would be more accepting. I have never understood why things like this are such an issue but I hope i'm giving you thoughts for another good discussion.
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
14 Apr 08
LOL, love that thoughts, haha! i feel more and more people are wishing the same stuff it sure will make a huge difference in this world if we learn how to accept and respect one another. sure you did give me lots of thoughts and i appreciate the fact that you are sharing it with me as well as some readers out here. takecare!
• Australia
13 Apr 08
I love to see couples expressing affection in public myself... it even gives me a kick to find a couple in a discreet place having a pash (though that would be inappropriate in a public place). I always find myself smiling whenever I see a couple walking around holding hands. It just reminds you that love is a beautiful thing. My partner and I don't generally engage in public displays of affection since we are lesbians and there are those who disapprove... some of whom may choose to take their disapproval to the extreme and decide to bash us for what they perceive as our 'perversion'! While such behaviour is decreasing as society learns to 'live and let live' there is still a small risk. There are certain places where I would have no qualms about it however, say in a club where the majority of patrons are gay (though I rarely go to clubs), or in areas that have a high gay population. For example, if I lived in San Francisco I wouldn't worry if I were cruising 'The Castro'. Here in Melbourne, Australia, it would be acceptable in the South Yarra area. But yes, as long as people are not getting too 'touchy, feely' I think it is very sweet!
• Australia
14 Apr 08
Thank you for your support. Thankfully, so far we have not really experienced any real negatives. But we like to take precautions anyway because you do hear about situations that occur... you know, it might be just 1 in 250,000 that object so strongly that they would take such overt action against us. You just don't want to be faced by that kind of reaction. It's a shame that such a minority gets to dictate the behaviour of others. Perhaps one day it will be safe to be completely open and affectionate with one another in public... we can only hope so
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
14 Apr 08
hello again! you're very much welcome! glad to know that you havent really experienced such negative outcome (or must i say outburst) from the others, it is never a good picture but as long as you know your limit like anybody else in this world then there is no need to worry about others coz it is your life and happiness. yes i do hope that one day, it will all be love and not war and discrimination. it sure will be a wonderful place and experience then. takecare!
@scrawl (374)
• India
3 Jun 08
I guess its alright as long as its within limits - in other words, it doesn't turn into some adult movie scene !
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
3 Jun 08
hello scrawl, yup limitations is very important in public NOT because it is a rule but because i feel it is just giving respect to others as well same goes with smoking. i remember when i was a teenager that i did see a couple whom i feel is showing way too much of such affection and i remember my reaction as feeling awkward so i dont want to give such feeling to anybody specially to kids. takecare and thanks for your time.
@scrawl (374)
• India
4 Jun 08
wow.... that's one PDA I've managed to convince !
@ruby222 (4848)
14 Apr 08
Well i have to say that we have been married for 34 years..but we still show affection for each other in public....we still hold hands ...and often peck on the cheek....we are very much on the same wave length..so we tend to know what one anothers going to say!!!...and we generally laugh about the same things. I think its a lovely thing to be able to show your affection for each other..why not??? I dont mean as in practically devouring each other in the street...but a tender little hug or peck is really good
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
14 Apr 08
ohhhh, such a wonderful sweet love story, i wish i get to that point to, honestly i am excited to reach that age and see myself doing the same stuff i am doing now with my man. congratulations for keeping such love and affection alive. it is such a wonderful experience and happy that you guys continue to show it publicly and privately. i honestly feel that a loving couple show intimacy anytime of the day and anywhere, a simple gesture like that shows that each other appreciate the love one is giving to the other. i love when my hubby whispered to my ear just to say thank you or i love you, it is like a breath of fresh air and it makes me feel young. his family and friends will often say he is happy, i guess if you are inlove no matter how old the relationship is,, it radiates and people sees it in your eyes and in your smile. anyway, thanks for sharing your lovely story, i wish you both more love to come :) takecare!
@ruby222 (4848)
15 Apr 08
Youre welcome..thankyou
• United States
3 Jun 08
I am fine with holding hands and kissing, but when people take to the point where it looks like they are going to go a step further, then I have to say no to that.
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
3 Jun 08
hello there, thanks for participating! i agree with you completely i do let my hubby know if he is playing too much (i mean literally playing coz he is just like a kid most of the time LOL) i do have set limitations in public coz i care about the kids and i dont like to give them something to think of that is not right for their age. appreciate your time takecare
@Modestah (11195)
• United States
14 Apr 08
I see nothing wrong with holding hands - and the quick kiss - or an embrace when meeting someone you have not seen in awhile. but lingering kisses and caresses as well as other such displays are vulgar to be shown in the public place.
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
14 Apr 08
yes, that is very true and i dont feel comfortable seeing one as i feel it is not necessary to show off in public. there's a lot of ways to show affection publicly without making others uneasy EXCEPT of course if they are just looking and talking even with such minor affection then i dont really care and be bothered to give a dang, haha! takecare and thanks for coming by!
@itsmepinky (1302)
• India
14 Apr 08
I love PDA but i dont like when couples get really desperate and do nasty stuff. I like to c couples holding kands and walking together. Sometimes my fiance and me walk hand in hand when we go for a stroll. It makes me feel loved. ~pinks~
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
14 Apr 08
hello pinks, dont worry you are not alone for not wanting couples going over board in PDA's . mind if i ask why only "sometimes" (pertaining to holding hands). most girls love to feel loved and i cant blame you for that coz i am a big sucker of it too. LOL anyway, hope to hear more from you so i can understand the reason behind the "sometimes". takecare!
@mimm45 (168)
• Australia
14 Apr 08
My husband and I both like to show our love for each other. We are both cuddly-touchy types. I think that it is good to show your love even in public. It must be limited to hugging, kissing or holding hands though because more than that should be reserved for when you are by yourselves. If hug or kiss or hold hands in front of your children it reaffirms your love for each other and consequently your love for them. Coming from conservative families, it was difficult for us at first to be this 'showy' but in the end our personalities showed and now we are quite open about this.
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
14 Apr 08
hello mimm45, thanks for sharing your experiences with me. yes, like you we would like to show to our future child that mom and dad love each other deeply and they can see that in and out of home. id rather them witnessed such love than them seeing or hearing their parents fighting and arguing about something. i too come from a VERY conservative family and boy they sure give lots of UNSOLICITED ideas and so-called help and it really pisses me of coz they think that they are the righteous ones. i have nothing against it BUT if you see them unhappy in life it kinda unfair coz they dont even know how to straighten their own so how can they direct me to follow theirs - some family ei? anyway, great for you to stand for what you believe is right and for showing to them that THAT is you and whether they like it or not you are living it the way you both want it to be. wish you all the best! takecare!
@lingli_78 (12852)
• Australia
13 Apr 08
i think for me if it is just holding hands, hug and kiss it is still ok... as long as the hug and kiss is just a normal one and not too much... again, it depends on the culture... eastern culture usually is more restricted to the western one... so it depends in where you live as well...
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
14 Apr 08
hello lingli_78, yes some culture still sees it taboo and i can understand it to some extent, it just blows my mind when they start standing next to you and say stuff you dont understand (talking about being in some other country) coz i think it is rude but again since i am (we are) in a different country i guess i cannot say they are wrong coz they sure think we are :) i remember when i was dating my husband and he is picking me from work (we are far from my work place)and he gives me a kiss hello and i guess some friends of my boss sees us and the next day i was talking with an upset boss (malaysian) telling me i shouldnt behave in such a way. i think it is retarded coz it is none of his business and i am not at work so it is no longer his jurisdiction. i end up arguing with him coz i have to point out all his dirty stuff. a month after i find myself being set up and end up losing the job. i tried my best to fight so hard for it but i guess i am in the wrong country to start with. oh well, some culture i guess! thanks for coming and do takecare!
• United States
13 Apr 08
I personally love to see an old couple in their 80s walking through wal-mart (or whereever) holding hands. I think it is the cutest thing in the world. I don't mind PDA as long as it is done tastefully. What I mean by that is I am a mother and I don't want to have to try to shield my children from a couple making out and feeling each other up as we are walking through the grocery store. But I see absolutely nothing wrong with holding hands, or an arm around each other, or a little peck on the cheek...just save the intimate stuff for at home'
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
14 Apr 08
hi britany, thanks for sharing your thoughts. i completely understand and agree with you coz i will feel the same if i am the mother or if i am with a child or even just seeing a child around the couple who is "almost" making out publicly. i rarely see old couples who do show their affection publicly despite their age and i if i saw one they sure brings me a smile, sometimes it gives me a misty eye coz i dream mine to be the same way. i said dream coz i am not yet there :) thanks again! takecare!
13 Apr 08
showing affection in public is a nice thing to do, all within reason, sometimes you see couples going a little too far, maybe its something that turns them on, but usually all i can think of is "get a room"!!! holding hands or the odd peck on the cheek is all within reason & a nice way to tell someone that you love them. if people are looking at you as if you are doing something wrong then maybe you are showing too much affection, or maybe its as simple as they are jealous of your love for each other. affection is also a private affair, something not to be shared with others, its always nice to be out with someone you love, holding hands or whatever, but like i said above sometimes people can get a little carried away in public, & as a passerby may feel uncomfortable witnessing such an act of affection
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
14 Apr 08
hello angelratlady1, perfectly stated! my point exactly and i couldnt agree more. some people dont see it the way i do and i am happy that there is someone who share the same sentiments as i do. i remember this friend of mine who did try her best to ruin my relationship and before i left the country she told me on the phone how sorry she was coz of what had happened. she said she did it coz i am happy and she is not and she cant stand that fact. it breaks my heart to know that a friend can do and say stuff that will do harm to someone else's relationship specially if you are friends but after her moment of truth, i do honestly understand why she did what she did and i forgive her. just sad that she and i no longer friends coz she dont want to as she sees me as a mirror that she is a failure. cannot do anything bout it but wish that wherever she is, she is happy and found what she is looking for. oh well, that's life i guess. anyway, thanks for participating and i appreciate you sharing your views bout this matter. takecare!
@muscare (3069)
• Australia
13 Apr 08
I don't have a problem with PDA(within reason, LOL), and my wife and I use to always hold hands while walking down the street. It's not so easy now, as my son likes to be in the middle of us. When he's not with us, we still do it, and we are nearly always touching in some way or another. It makes my wife confident about our love, and she says that she likes to show me off and let other women see that I am hers, LOL! When we see old people holding hands, we just smile and say that that will be us in 40years time! I feel too many couples take the other for granted, and don't feel the need to show their affection.
@jairgirl (2879)
• United States
14 Apr 08
hello muscare, glad to see you participating here. haha i have to smile when i read "within reason" hmmmm, i wonder LOL! i understand that it will be hard if the son is around but the fact that you guys have dates on your own where you can be just the TWO is something. having such affection being shown publicly and privately helps both person feel more confident bout their love, i dont think it is shallow coz i feel it is something special and proud to show the whole world that you guys belong to each other. i think my husband behaves like your wife if we are outside, wanna make sure he is telling "everybody" (ok ok, the guys!) im his... LOL great to know that you guys love each other deeply and see ach other holding hands even after 40yrs, when you two are gray and old :) i dream the same thing. i think majority of girls would love to FEEL they are loved and not being taken for granted, but lately with works and other stuff going on,, the man seems to behaves cold. anyway, thanks for sharing us your wonderful story. keep it up and wish you all the best. takecare!