Babys surname

@kezabelle (2985)
April 13, 2008 10:28am CST
OK so if you had a baby with your partner and were not married but were planning either to get married or stay together for the long term, whos surname would you use the mothers or the fathers? When me and my partner had our children we decided to give them his surname, we plan to marry one day anyway but I really wanted them to have his name it really meant a lot to me. What would you do?
6 people like this
14 responses
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
13 Apr 08
Its simple. Just put two surnames, from the mother and father. But it should be mutual agreement. It is normally the father's surname only, whether married or not.
2 people like this
@rombi001 (943)
13 Apr 08
wouldn't that be weird in filling up forms :) -What's your surname? -Which one? the first one or the second one? But I guess its a good compromise if you both want the child to have your surname :)
3 people like this
@kezabelle (2985)
13 Apr 08
No giving them both surnames was never an option it would have been too long lol!
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
13 Apr 08
No. It is not weird. The father's surname is the dominant one. Celebrity like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have done that. They use Jolie-Pitt as their children surnames.
1 person likes this
@rombi001 (943)
13 Apr 08
If you are planning to get married some day you should give it the father's surname so they don't get questioned as to why he/she doesn't have her/his father's surname... (IT will cost you to change her/his surname later)
@kezabelle (2985)
13 Apr 08
Thank you for your response, I did think it would cost us to change their names later on when we do get married.
2 people like this
@rombi001 (943)
13 Apr 08
That's what I was told, but I guess it depends where you come from and what the circumstances are.. But I would probably say go for the father's surname.. Unless you really want to keep yours :)
2 people like this
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
17 Apr 08
I will let have his dad's surname if we will really plant to get married but if not, I will have mine!
1 person likes this
17 Apr 08
I would give my childrens my boyfriends surname. I dont like it how parents double barrell the surname just so that the child has both names!! Whats the point in that, only to frustrate the child when they are trying to learn how to spell the name!!
@littleone3 (2065)
13 Apr 08
I wasn't married when i had my first two children but i still give them their fathers name. I went on to marry him anyway and we had two more children. With my youngest i am not married to his dad but i still gave him his fathers surname as we also plan to marry some day. And my two youngest children from my previous marriage also chose to take my partners surname.
1 person likes this
@marythan (73)
• Philippines
2 Oct 10
Me and my partner is not yet married, but we have a baby already, he's 1 month old and we use my partner's surname for legal purposes, we also believe that it has psychological impact so he deserves his fathers surname--
@ronnyb (6120)
• Jamaica
21 Oct 09
Well where I am from that is normally the procedure to give the children the fathers surname even though you may not be married .There are instances where the mothers name may be used but those are in cases when the fathers name is not known or when the father has not accepted the child as his .In those cases you jsut use the mother's name temporarily untill the paternity is sorted out
@sacmom (14315)
• United States
13 Sep 09
If my husband and I hadn't been married before our kids had come along I would have wanted them to his surname anyway. Call me old fashioned, but I think kids should have their father's last name whether or not the parents are married. When one of my friend's had her first child she was an unwed mother. She ended up giving her daughter the father's surname first and her surname last. I thought that was a little odd and if anything it should have been the other way around (her surname first and his surname last), but I guess she had her own reasons for doing this. Happy mylotting!
• United States
9 Jul 08
Probably give them the hyphenated surname, like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt did. Their kids (included adopted children) are now Jolie-Pitt. It's just all about personal preference. It might get complicated if one of you already has a hypenated name. Then it would end up being three last names for the baby.
• Canada
16 May 08
My husband and I don't plan to have children, but i we did, they'd either have a combination of our surnames, or MY NAME, since we both think that carrying the family liniage on through the father is an archaic holdoer from when men owned women.
• Bahamas
14 Apr 08
Seeing that i'm not married to any of my kids fathers,six kids two fathers they all have their fathers surnames.I just think that it gives them their identity and seeing that they all have a relationship with their dads there's no problem.
@cherriemae (3374)
• Philippines
14 Apr 08
actually, i'm a single mom, and about my baby's surname, she uses my surname because i didnt allow to use her dad's surname..in your case, the father is still there, your still living in and your planning for a marriage, so i think your baby can use his surname..
@capirani (1841)
• United States
14 Apr 08
First of all, I believe that pregnancy and babies should not be coming before marriage. But I know that it does happen, and a lot more these days than in the past. I am a strong believer that the child should have the father's surname rather than the mother's whether marriage is planned for the future or not. Being labeled an illegitimate child is a hard thing to grow up with, even in this time period where so many children are growing up in single-parent homes. There is coming a day where our country is going to be facing the consiquences of all of the break-down of the traditional family.
• United States
13 Apr 08
I did the exact same thing, but it was more so for schematics than anything. Yes at the time I thought we were getting married, and I wanted us all to have the same last name. But I have never liked my last name, its ten letters long, and my bf at the time only had five letters. If I would have given my children my last name, they would have had to continue their name on the back of the birth certificate!!!