SISTER/BROTHER: a friend or an enemy or a rival?

siblings - siblings rivalry
@ruthinian (2311)
United States
April 14, 2008 9:30am CST
I am an only daughter and I have 2 brothers. My brothers are my friends, and partners-in-crime and we get along very well. I know there are some people who do not get along with their sister or brother, and I think it's sad. My mother-in-law has a sister that she had a fight with a long time ago (they were still in high school then) and they had not spoken for over 40 years now. Really sad. She can't even tell us what they fought about. What about you? is your brother/sister your enemy or your friend or your rival? Please share. Thanks.
16 responses
@clowdine (1402)
• Philippines
14 Apr 08
As for me and my siblings, we all get along. Just like any siblings we also have misunderstandings once in a while but we don't fight like strangers which in our vernacular joke, "we're not like others" (it's just awkward in English translation but you know what I mean in Filipino)There have been no problems that stayed unsettled unlike in the case of your mother-in-law and her own sister that's been there for 40 years. What a cancerous grudge. I mean, we are united. We are 5 and I am the youngest. There's no such thing as jealousy and issues on favoritism. My mother likes me the most and they won't have problems with that. We don't have issues on who is the prettiest, the most intelligent, or the best in whatever it may be. We acknowledge everyone's capabilities. I may say, we are all "partners in crime." Whenever there's one who is struggling financially or emotionally, the others are there to back him/her up. That's how our mother taught us to treat one another. And I would choose to be part of this family twice over being born rich but alone or with siblings whom I don't get along with.
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I agree with you. Maybe it has something to do with your upbringing too. If our parents tried their best to treat their children equal, then rivalry or jealousy will not set in. Our culture has a great impact too, I guess. That is what my hubby always say that is why he wanted to retire in the Philippines, because he said, there he felt that he is part of the family. We are lucky to have been raised like this. Thanks for sharing. I appreciate it.
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
Having a sister and a brother in the family is nice. Me for instance is the youngest of the family of seven brothers and one sister who happens ro be the eldest. i'am very blessed to have them because they really care for me since we are still in our younger days up to now i feel very special to them. although we have our own families already, our communication is still intact. we often call each other or sometimes if we have time we see each other. I feel having a brother or a sister in the family is more than anything to me.
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I agree with you. Our family is the most precious thing in the world. Thanks for sharing and welcome to myLot.
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
I have one brother who is two years younger than me and our treatment with each other is quite unstable. There are times that we don't get along with each other because he's a boy, therefore his likes are different from mine. And though it's quite sad, I do notice that rivalry exists between the two of us but not in a too serious way.
• United States
17 Apr 08
I have a younger brother. When we was younger we didn't get along to much. We use to fight and argue all the time! We always use to stand up for each other though if someone else was messing with the other one. If we get in trouble together and not tell on each other so we would both get in trouble! We always looked out for each other, even though we as unkind to each other. Now that I am 22 and he is 20 we get along really great! We hang out, do things together and have really great conversations. I think if he didn't have his current girlfriend we would be a lot more closer. That is a different story though!I really think that all the fights when we was younger help us to be closer as young adults. I love the relationship I have with my little brother.
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
17 Apr 08
I agree too. It's just normal for siblings to have fights. We did that too a lot of times when we were younger. But you can't blame nobody for this, we were so naive and ignorant. I guess age plays a major role in the improvement of the relationship. thanks for sharing.
15 Apr 08
I've got four siblings. Two are still young enough to be my own kids, one is a very close friend and another one who's too complicated. I love her nonetheless. :)
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
17 Apr 08
Isn't it that our family is always the weirdest? Mine is too. Sometimes. age gap makes a difference in the kind of relationship the siblings have for each other.
• Indonesia
15 Apr 08
have you ever heard this saying "your enemies is your real friends"? i have never that's my own creation. i have two sisters and one brother. we are not best friends of each other. but we always be able to account on each other.
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
17 Apr 08
You're funny.Well, not all siblings are really in good terms or can considered themselves as bestfriends but then when times are tough, yes, you can always count on them. Nobody will help you on your trying times but your own family.
• Philippines
15 Apr 08
They are your friends for life.. they will be some misunderstandings, but come what may, they will be with you in good or bad time
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I agree. Thanks for the response. I appreciate it.
@xtinelee (3379)
• Singapore
15 Apr 08
Not enemy or rival I guess. I guess sometimes I can really hate my sister, but nonetheless, she's still my sister, who share the same blood and same life together with me. We might be completely different, but hey.. it's not everyday that you can have a sibling.
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I agree, you are lucky to have siblings. My cousin is an only child and she is so lonely. We grew up together and she consider us her siblings and us the same. Now that we are all grown ups, her children are close to us too. Thanks for sharing.
• Australia
15 Apr 08
Actually a little of all. When we were really young, my sister and I were inseperable. When we started primary (elementary) school, we hated each other. Then mid high school, we were more rivals than anything. Now we get along pretty well, but are not super close.
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
15 Apr 08
Same with other siblings, it's not always a good relationship. Just like any relationship, it's not perfect. There are ups and downs and that is normal. Thanks for sharing.
@dxf100 (28)
• China
15 Apr 08
I have a little brother, and we like each other. He doesn't come back every month.He has a lovely daughter,the little girl is very beautiful,and I like her very much.
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I see. I know you miss him too. Thanks for sharing and welcome to myLot.
• Philippines
14 Apr 08
i grew up as the one and only daughter.. i sometimes argue with my brothers, but thats very rare, even though they always tease we're really really close, and even though brothers are even more protective than our father, still they are my partners in crime..
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
15 Apr 08
Same with me. Though I am the eldest my brothers treat me like a baby. They spoil me too. I miss them now, because we are all apart. Thanks for sharing.
@crackhead (1826)
• India
14 Apr 08
We are two guys to our parents and i am the elder one. my younger brother is my great friend and he is a great supporter of me. He always stand by side in good times and mostly the best in my bad times. Its bad to know about your mother-in-law and her sister, atleast they should get in touch once in a while after all they are blood relations and sisters.
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
15 Apr 08
Good for you, you have a good relationship with your brother. With regards to my mom-in-law, I don't know, I think pride is the main reason why they won't forgive each other. I am praying for it though. Thanks for sharing.
• United States
14 Apr 08
Oh my..you've really opened a can of worms with this discussion! My family is sooo messed up... My older sister is my mom. In fact, she's th one who raised us other 3 kids while mom and dad were at the bar. It was a love hate relationship. She is 2 years older than I, and she was my protector, punisher, friend, sister, and mom. Then there's my little brother, 2 years younger than I. We were so very close growing up. We had the same friends, and same interests. We got in trouble together all the time. But then, because of abuse, I was removed from the family, and our friendship took a nose dive. He wasn't allowed to see or talk to me, as I was BAD, and had brought the families problems out in the open. He still doesn't see or speak to me. And then there's my little sister. She is 8 years younger, and has a mind of her own! We are very close, and always have been. She brightens my world just being in it! We've had our fights, and disagreements, but have gotten through them. She is a real special lady, and I still adore her just as much as when mom and dad brought her home from the hospital.
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
15 Apr 08
Well, I believe that there is no such thing as perfect family. Every family in the world is dysfunctional is different aspects and angle. So yours is not an isolated issue. I know other family worse that you have. Sadly, this is something we can't change. Sadly too, we can't choose our family. But whatever happened in the past, I believe it made you a better person now. We can't even blame anybody for this, we are just all victims of circumstances. What is more important is how we deal with it. I am the eldest kid too and I understand your sentiments. As the eldest we really play the role of the parents when they are not around. But sometimes, we are also guilty of power playing, I had to admit. . But I admire your strength. My younger brother is also my joy. Thanks for sharing. I appreciate it.
• United States
14 Apr 08
I am an only child. My husband has a brother and sister. There is an 8 yr age difference, so he isn't extremely close to them- when they got old enough to play with and get to really as people, he was leaving home. And, being in the military, he wasn't even in the same country for their teen years. We have lived with an hours drive from each of his siblings for a few years at a time...and our kids barely know each other. How sad is that? He talks to his brother alot more now than usual, but that is mostly about business- we hired him to do our website and publication layout work. In our new home, we are committed to extending invitations to friends AND FAMILY on a regular basis...of course, they have to accept...
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I understand. The size of the family is a big issue too to consider. If you are an only child you don't really have to deal with it. And so with the age gap. But I still believe it is not too late. People who are mature enough are willing to accept any posibilities. And you have some good to start with, be it a business transaction or otherwise, the fact that they are talking is a good start. Thanks for sharing. I appreciate it.
@meiji15 (664)
• Philippines
14 Apr 08
it depends. for the past 20 years or so, my older sister had been my enemy and my trusted companion in many ways. when we were young, she was an overachiever---i was an average student. i tried to be on par with her, but i always fell short of the mark. we fight, a lot. from the TV remote to the bathroom and everything in between. but when i'm in trouble, i know that i can count on her---i'm just too proud to ask
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
15 Apr 08
well, sibling rivalry is really something we all need to deal with. but at the end of the day, our sibling will always be the person we can count on. thanks for the response. and welcome to myLot.
@jstaubin (423)
• United States
14 Apr 08
I am really close with my siblings. Sure we have had our problems over the years and we don't always see eye to eye. But they are my family and that is important to me. I think that it is sad when families fight all the time.
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I agree. When family members don't get along well, it's sad. thanks for the response.
@busta1baby (1238)
• United States
17 Apr 08
its all depends on how u r with each otha growing up