You know who you are....

@cortjo73 (6500)
United States
April 15, 2008 12:20pm CST
I am not trying to step on any toes here and, I really don't like to start drama but, I feel this needs to be said. For those of you who post question after question after question but, only the question while not actually answering your own question, stop! We know that his is an earning site and we expect some people to try to boost their earnings by flooding myLot with questions but, eventually, we will get onto you. If you don't cultivate relationships here, and you only pose questions without giving any info, people will eventually stop responding to you. Without our responses, you get nothing, nada, zero, zilch, no dollars. So, if you want to make money here, you have to cultivate your relationships with other myLotians. Ask 10, 20 or 100 questions a day but, make sure that your discussions aren't just 10, 20 or 100 questions. Ask the question but then answer it too. It is ok if you ask us what our favorite vacation spot is as long as you say what your favorite vacation spot is and then tell us maybe a sentence or two about what you like best about it. Don't just drop a question and run. Oh...and if you ask a bunch of questions, and get a bunch of answers, but never revisit your own discussion and respond back to people who responded to you...people will eventually ignore your discussions. No one likes to feel ignored. How do we even know you read our thoughtful responses if you don't bother to respond back? Why should we care and take the time to respond to you if you aren't going to put forth some effort to cultivate a relationship with us? So, I am not targeting anyone in particular! I just feel like it needs to be said. This is a community. There are a lot of us who have worked hard to get to know others here and truly care about one another and not just the paycheck from myLot each month. Don't drop and run! Stay and chat for a while! Otherwise, stay gone!
11 people like this
29 responses
@speedy1279 (2667)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I feel the same way and couldn't have put it any better than you have. Some people just don't get it and we are the ones who have to end up dealing with it. Of course these people just don't care, like you said they are only here for the money. But eventually I think they get bored with the site because they don't make as much as they were hoping to.
3 people like this
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
Thank you! And, here's to the hope that they do get bored and leave because they aren't making as much as they thought they could! Good riddance to bad rubbish! LOL! And, it really does stink that we are the ones who have to deal with those that just don't get it! The best we can all do is to ignore them and make that the loudest hint we can give them!
2 people like this
• United States
17 Apr 08
To be honest I don't think if you even spelled it out for some of these people that they would get it. But lets hope and see!
1 person likes this
@bradhart (659)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I get irritated by those who use poor translation programs so they can post inane babble that didn't get the point across they were trying to ask and they don't know it because they don't speak English.
3 people like this
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I can handle some of them. But, if I don't understand the discussion, I will just move on and not bother to respond to it. LOL!
1 person likes this
@bradhart (659)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I occasionally answer the exact question asked to see what sort of horribly translated response to the question I actually answered. MyLot should show who your referrals are so we can stop supporting internet sweatshops which is what alot of this amounts to in my opinion.
2 people like this
• United States
16 Apr 08
I agree with you, have you seen some of the ones who take up a whole page of a interest section with just the questions they have posted? I have seen it a couple of times with in just a week. If they want to post questions, they could also think about answering other people questions. But, the sad part is that some of the new members see mylot as a paycheck when it is not. It is simply a way to gain a few cents here and there while you give your thoughts and opinion on something.
3 people like this
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
mhb...I have seen that! While I am not targeting one person, what you said brings one person to mind. Multiple mindless questions and, they rarely respond back to people who respond to their discussion nor have they ever responded to one of my discussions...that I can remember at least even though I have responded to more than a few of theirs. Although, that is becoming fewer and farther between because I am not putting up with the one sidedness of our friendship. And, raz is right! It isn't just the newbies but some of the older members as well who are here for a paycheck. But, I truly believe that the people who have been here for a very long time have been here more for the friendships and relationships than the paycheck. I have only been here for a little over 2 months and am hooked because you all make me laugh more than anything else! And, I love to laugh! I know...who doesn't? LOL!
@wickedangel (1636)
• Dominican Republic
16 Apr 08
I totally agree with you here cortjo. I have a few friends that are posting like crazy and my email notifications have gone through the roof but at least they do answer my responses. Don't know how they do it, I'm still trolling through the emails - got about 115 more to go (groan) and it takes me days to go through them. I must admit I don't answer the ones that just give the one liner questions because I don't feel that the person has actually thought about it and therefore I don't respond to it. I haven't put out many discussions solely beacuse I am trying to respond to all my friends' discussions... I love this community and have so much fun here and I do care about the friends I have made. Thanks very much for posting this discussion - hopefully those that do drop and run will stop doing it!
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
Thank you and it was my pleasure starting this discussion! I am very happy to see how many other people feel the way I have felt! And, trust me! I understand how long it can take responding back to all the responses! I am playing catch-up from this discussion! LOL! Have been for the past almost 3 hours with a few breaks to attend to some work stuff as it hits my desk. LOL! And, good for you for not responding to the one liners. Why should you? If the person who started it didn't think enough of us to make more of an effort than one line, why should you make an effort to respond at all? I also love this community! I have made so many precious gems for friends here and, they mean so much more to me than they will likely ever know! Here's to the hope that those that do drop and run will drop, run and keep on running! LOL!
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
16 Apr 08
Hear, hear, and hear again! THANK YOU! I get so annoyed with these posters and I am so glad to see someone post about it. I hope these idiots listen or abandon ship. I hate wasting my time with them hoping against hope that the discussion will turn into something worthwhile.
2 people like this
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
LOL! My pleasure! I share in your annoyance! I read so far that one newbie took a lesson from this discussion that we want to learn about them and expect the give and take that is deserved from everyone here. So, thus far in my playing catch-up with the responses here, one newbie was helped! Yay! Now, let's keep hoping that those that don't feel like taking the time to work with us on the give and take of communication abandon ship!
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
16 Apr 08
The nasty beasties are working overtime this week it seems. I guess it's too much to expect people of a certain age to act like it? LOL
1 person likes this
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
LOL! I try to act my chronological age but, most times I act my mental age which is more like 9. LOL!
1 person likes this
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
16 Apr 08
Yay! Good thing I have long gone removed these people on my lists, I never waste my time on people such as those. Worst of all, they flood you with discussions and when you respond to it, they won't even give some time to comment on your responses and sometimes they skip on the responses you make. How rude could that be, make friends and then be like an opportunist? Nah, I won't waste my time responding on their posts nor keep them on my friends lists. Most of them are "hit and run" members, who are only here to reach an amount and then leave after getting satisfied with what they came here for.. Since I don't start much of my own threads, I don't expect that all of my friends would respond to it. As long as they provide me good discussions to respond at and comment on it, that's a fair bargain for me already..
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
You hit the nail on the head there! Rude opportunists! And, I don't expect all of my friends to respond to all of my discussions either, like I wouldn't respond to all of theirs. We are all different so we all are interested in different things. But, if I respond to one of their discussions, the least they can do is say that they appreciate the time I took to show my interest in their discussion!
2 people like this
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
16 Apr 08
I always put in mind that this is a discussion site, we earn and get paid by contributing and not simply by posting. This is what I also try to tell every one, but only ends up to deaf ears. Some will say that they have troubles with this and that, yet they still start and post numerous discussions then simply ignore the responses.. I find that really unfair, it would be easier if they should stop here if that's how they work things on this site.
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
Some people can be hard headed. They hear and see only what they want to hear and see. But, every now and then, you break through to one person and it makes it all worth it for a while! So, keep at it! You never know who you will break through to!
@surfette (674)
• United States
16 Apr 08
There are so many viewpoints to this very interesting question and I'm glad you have given people an opportunity to speak out. You can sort out the MyLotters by age, just by listening to their answers, which are usually very thoughtful ones. They have taken the time to think about their response and have gone deep into their feelings before answering. Many of these people have been here since the beginning and have formed true friendships and aren't here basically for the money. That's just a side benefit. Then there are the youngsters that have discovered MyLot and give quick, short and often abrupt answers and I can tell that they are 19 or 20, because they don't have much life experience included in their answers. They also ask multiple questions like "what fruit do you like" etc. Now I call those "fluffy" questions and are designed to just get quick answers and build up the money. They aren't here to bond, but to work the system and make some cash. Now, I'm not trashing them because I have several young, thoughtful, friends in my friends list. I like them very much and they are here for more than just the money. Now, I'm not faulting all that use the site to just make money either and I'll tell you why. There are people out there that NEED to supplement their income. It's not a choice, it is a necessity. Many have lost jobs or are working at much lower wages, trying to pay off school loans or have had major life changes like illness or disabilities. So many of the money making sites on the internet are truly scams and don't pay, so if they find a site that does, well they want to take advantage of the earning power. I've been a member here for over a year. For several months, I didn't participate too much and then I started only answering questions that had (what I felt) substance. I've only even posted a few questions the last month. Not only did I find that my money grew significantly, but I was able to pick subjects that I thought might get some thoughtful answers. It was kind of an eye opener for me, though, because it seems that people like answering the "fluffy" questions or the hot button ones. I can only join in the "hot button" discussions every so often, because instead of just giving viewpoints on the opposite sides of a subject, the discussion becomes a "meanfest" and the comments get ugly with the commenter, rather than just the subject matter. If you only want answers that support your viewpoint, then ASK for that. Don't ask for ALL comments and then proceed to trash the people that think differently. Then I just get disgusted and don't want to participate at all. I guess there are as many reasons to join MyLot as there are people. We can all pick and choose the company we keep, I guess. And if you haven't fallen asleep with my response by now, thank you for this opportunity to let me speak out! Have a great evening!
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
LOL! I most definitely did not fall asleep and it was my pleasure to provide a place for you to speak out! I am glad you did so! And, I agree! I don't fault anyone for being here trying to make money! It is a good place for that! As long as, while they are trying to earn, they don't stop there. You can earn money and make friends that last. The same as you can at a brick and mortar job. And, I agree about the hot button discussions. I only get involved occasionally but, hate it when the person who starts the discussion actually says that they welcome all sides and will be open-minded about it but end up getting insulted when someone disagrees. Why did you lie and say that everyone was welcome to voice their opinion but then attack the person who thinks differently than you? "Meanfest" is right! And, you are right that you can tell some of the ages by their responses as well. And, like you, I am not saying that that is the rule because I also have some younger friends that do a really good job of responding thoughtfully. But, then there are the ones who do one-liners both as a started discussion and as a response to either other discussions or in their responses to responses in their own discussions. And, they sometimes pick fights with other myLotians for no reason. That happened to me once. I didn't really know why they started with me. They were fairly new I had never even seen, or responded to any of their discussions but, they gave a one word snide response to one of mine that was in no way, shape or form controversial. What is with that? Anyway, thank you for your response and I am glad to have given you a place to get it off your shoulders too!
2 people like this
@surfette (674)
• United States
16 Apr 08
You have no idea how much your response means to me. I was ready to just give up on MyLot this morning (because of another conversation). You have given me faith and hope for the thoughtful, good people that are still here. My dear, you are only 35, the same age as my son, but you are wise beyond your years! Thank you!
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
Awww! Surfette! First off, I want to say that I am so glad that I gave you a reason to stick around! I promise not to fail you and the faith that I helped give back to you in myLot! There are plenty of people here worth sticking around for. And, second...it means a lot to me that you would say such a kind thing to me! I credit my Mom! She really worked hard to make me into the person I am today. I always tried to make her proud of me and she is always in the back of my mind while I continue to try to make her proud of me every day! So, Thank you from the bottom of my heart for such kind words! They truly mean a lot to me! And, if you ever need more encouragement to stick around, just ask! I'll do my best to give you another good reason! Thank you, so very much, again!
@mbs730 (2152)
• Canada
16 Apr 08
I understand where you are coming from and yes it is annoying. But I also am relieved to know you aren't talking about me :) I rarely post and I frequently respond to others. If I have nothing useful to talk about, I won't talk! I have too much clutter in my mind right now and on top of that I am sick with a cold. I don't think I will be posting anything new for a while... come to think of it, I shouldn't be talking to anyone at all in this kind of state!
2 people like this
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
LOL! You should be getting rest and getting yourself better! I am sorry you aren't feeling well! Trust me...I can relate to how nasty a cold can be! And, nope...you are not a target if I were targeting anyone. I would have to say that I tend to respond to more topics than I start. Most of my discussions tend to be about the show Big Brother so, when that ends, I will probably do a lot more responding than starting discussions! LOL! And, there is nothing wrong with that as long as you are still nurturing your friendships here. And, that is a good policy to live by...basically, if you have nothing to say, don't say anything! I pretty much feel the same way. I respond to things I can add something to. Get some rest and feel better soon!
1 person likes this
@mbs730 (2152)
• Canada
17 Apr 08
Thanks my friend, I am still not feeling great. But I sure hear you about these discussions. And yes I have made some good friends here and that is what matters more than anything.
1 person likes this
16 Apr 08
Hi Cortjo... i just had to comment on your post here, because i thought it was a very helpful illustration of Mylotian manners (lol, i like that). I'm new here, and its nice to see that generally this community isnt JUST about making money, and that common decency come into play. I think everything you've said is perfectly understandable, and even though i havent been here long, i totally agree that we shouldnt let the money-earning take over simple manners, and a sense of community together. I too think its unfair of people to post discussion after discussion, with no care for what the responses are, and no intention of responding with a polite comment back. Iv made sure to reply to every single reply iv received on all of my posts, and im very pleased i did now! I hope i can make some more decent pals here too as time goes on too. xxxxxx
2 people like this
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
Hello Pookie_Pie! And, welcome! I am glad that I was helpful and that you took from it what was meant! LOL! I can't take credit for the term myLotian...not sure who started it but, I liked it too the first time I saw it! It reminds me of the show Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis which I am a fan of! LOL! And, I am glad to see that you understand the sense of community here in the short time that you have been here. I look forward to seeing more from you! And, just keep up the good work and the understanding that people are friends here who support one another and show it through their responses to one another and, you will make a welcome member of the myLot community! Welcome, happy posting and enjoy!
1 person likes this
16 Apr 08
Hi babes, and thankyou very much for your warm welcome. I think what you wrote certainly needed to be said ~ even though iv not been here long, iv been a member of other paid sites (not as good as mylot i must say!), and there are always people who take the money-earning to extremes, ignoring the whole point of the social networking site. Of course we all would like to make a few pounds here and there, but that shouldnt come before freindship and plain simple manners. Hope to talk to you some more sometime.. take care. xxxxx
1 person likes this
@whiteheron (4223)
• United States
16 Apr 08
Thanks for saying this... I am remembering one discussion with an eat your heart out kind of wrenching problem that someone mentioned and sought help for... I offered help and never got a response. I felt a bit disappointed, neglected and rejected even... I expected more perhaps because the person had seemed so desperite for help. I know that I try to respond to people who post in my discussions and also share in other places... It is only right to do so as this is indeed a place of relationship building as much as it is a place of making money.
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
My pleasure! I'm sorry that you took the time to try to be helpful and caring and felt unappreciated! That is really uncool! I promise you that if you ever reach out to me with words of concern and caring, I will show you my appreciation. And, you are right!
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Apr 08
Hugs to you for this....
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
15 Apr 08
OH NO!! not more drama!! lol I used to be very active here at one time. I have lots of friends but I dont think many of them visit here as much as before. My discussions used to always be answered. But now very few of them are. There has been more drama than you can shake a stick at. Or something like that. lol. Your discussion is one I've seen many times before. People do what they want. So really the only good that will come from your discussion is people will answer you and agree with you lol. Nice long discussion though. I commend you for being able to make it long and look good. Thanks for making me write a book as well lol. Now I must go read my own unanswered discussions . lol
2 people like this
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
15 Apr 08
LOL! Yea! I know it will probably go unnoticed by the offenders but, at least I got it off my chest! I feel better now having said it! And, whether it helps people be better myLotians or not, it was therapeutic for me to get it off my shoulders! Have fun reading your discussions! LOL!
2 people like this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
15 Apr 08
Thats good to get things off your chest. Thanks lol
2 people like this
• United States
16 Apr 08
Very Well Said!! I agree with you on this 100%. I hate when people start one or two line posts and never go back and respond to even one answer. It makes me mad sometimes when I put effort and thought into my response for it never to be answered. I mean really even a simple "Thank you for you comment" would be nice. Then I at least know they took the time to read my response. Some people on here are just in it for the money. Im not I love the relationships I have formed with several memebers here. They are like my extended family. ~May The Kisses Of An Angel Cover And Protect You Always~ Copper
2 people like this
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
Extended family is a really nice way to see the people here whom have touched your life in one way or another! And, you are right that a simple thank you for your comment would be nice. Although, they may just do that in each response without even having read it! LOL! But, it would still be nicer than an absolute blank underneath your response. That is as loud and hurtful as a slap in the face. And, thank you! Both for saying it was well said and for your comment! It is very much appreciated!
1 person likes this
@aviva08 (120)
• China
16 Apr 08
Some times, i don't know who i am,i don't know what i can do,so i feel said.I don't like that,but i don't know how to change.
2 people like this
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I am sorry to hear that. I am not sure what that has to do with this discussion unless you didn't actually read my discussion and are simply responding to the title. So, I guess that the only advice I can give you, assuming you did read my discussion and aren't just responding to the title, is to use this place to get to know yourself a little. This place can make you think and can help you form informed opinions on many different subjects and through that, you might just find out who you are.
1 person likes this
@marababe (2513)
• Philippines
16 Apr 08
I'd like to think you're not talking about me. Well, I know it's not me. I don't start discussions regularly and when I do, I answer my own questions and I revisit my discussions and post comments. But I do get annoyed sometimes reading questions or discussions asking for opinions without sharing his/her own thoughts or lacks details whatsoever. Cheers!
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
LOL! No worries! I swear that I wasn't targeting one person in particular but, if I were, it wasn't you! LOL! And, as long as you revisit your own discussions and put effort into adding to them, no one will fault you! And, those questions and discussions which ask for opinions while not sharing any insight into the discussion starters life aggravate the fedge out of me! What is the point? Why should we care if you don't care enough to tell us a little about yourself? That is like a friend who never says anything. Just stands there listening. Well, I guess they toss a question out but never recipricate. Um...that is not a friendship! LOL!
1 person likes this
@jenni7202 (1598)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I completely agree with you! I hate going through my daily notification emails, to one liner questions. I personally don't start many discussions, but when I do, I try to give my own story behind why I'm even asking the question in the first place! I rarely answer one liner questions, unless I feel that I have a little bit of something to say to that person. I also like to go back and read everyone's comments and responses, so I have my notifications on for that as well. I don't always respond to everyone, but I do on the ones that seem to catch my eye. I also tend to add those people to my friends lists, if they aren't already.
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
That is all we ask of people when they start a discussion, is to give a little background info! One person here asked a question that I answered. In their question they didn't give their own answer so I asked what their answer was and they started to sort of argue with me about it saying they wanted to know what our answers were and that they weren't asking themselves the question. What? WTF is that? So, I responded back again explaining why I wanted to know their answer and they argued with me again! They never gave me their answer! One of my friends here tried to help me out and, last I saw, while that person responded to most of the other responses, they never responded to my friend's response! How rude! I don't answer a lot of one liners either unless I have a strong opinion on the topic and feel that I can shed some light or just inspire thought! LOL! There are times when I struggle to respond to a response with something more than just a "Thank you" but, I do try to respond to all of them. I may have missed one or two in the past.
2 people like this
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
16 Apr 08
Good points here, and a few members you can actually see this with easily (I think two of them finally quit but I don't know). One rule of thumb I allot on mylot is that I'll give a benefit of the doubt if I see responses to responses AFTER my response. At least I can reasonably assume my response was read (at the very least seen... but thats another discussion I think -_-). I do what I can to respond to my own discussions, but sometimes so much is being said its hard to keep up. Other times, the person said the whole thing and I cannot add much to it (and I'll only say "Seconded", or responses basically saying this, so many times in one night) Other times there are very few responses (or no responses) to a very thorough discussion. And again I'll respond as I can (if possible...).
2 people like this
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I can understand that! There are times when I feel like I am repeating myself in my responses back to responses in my discussions but, I try to add a little something different to each. I just like to show my appreciation because it is nice to feel appreciated! Now I am curious about the few members that you mentioned! LOL!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Apr 08
I totally agree with you cortjo73! I have seen a lot of members here who post question after question after question but they themselves do not elaborate on their question nor bother sharing their views on the topic at hand. Well, if they are asking questions about something that they really do not know about, at least they could come up with good ways to enhance their discussion. Or, after having a lot of responses, they would not even bother giving their comments. Though I can't really comment on each response I get for a discussion I have posted, I make sure that they are rated especially if they give good answers. I also have noticed that there are those who would post question after question after question but if you are going to read each, they are much similar with each other. I mean, they could have just posted it in one discussion. For example, "What is your favorite color?". Then, the same author would post another discussion which goes, "Do you wear clothes in your favorite color?". Then again, the same author would post another discussion which goes, "Does your favorite color represent your personality?" Well, maybe, just maybe, these people are just trying to boost up the number of posts they have and the digits in their earnings. Perhaps they are not really in the mood for chatting. We can't blame them. Perhaps, they are just here for the earnings. But you are right, it is important that they also cultivate relationship with the others out here. Nice discussion!
2 people like this
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
Thank you dolce_vita78! That bugs me too! I can understand if you like the fact that you can make money here. I also can't fault a person for that. But, they could combine some questions into one discussion if they are based around the same theme! LOL! People will likely only fall for that kind of thing a few times before we realize what that person is up to and ignore them all together. Eventually, their earnings will slow either to a stall or entirely when people stop wasting their time with them. Cultivate, nurture and care for your friendships here and people will help you in your earning if that is why you are here! Thank you for your response!
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Apr 08
Well I can honestly say it is not me here for sure. I have not been on mylot long enough to even think about asking a question and not leaving an answer. But it is good to know what people would like to see from each other, and know that we should all be making an effort to share our thoughts as well on any question we should pose. This gives us an opportunity to learn more about each other, don't you think?
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I do think so! And, I am glad that we could be helpful to you so that you don't start to make the mistake that others have! Welcome! We are glad to have you here! I hope you like it as much as I do!
1 person likes this
@Breath (1297)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I have seen that a lot here in mylot...It is kind of sad they just don't know or understand what they are missing...The friendships I have made on here out weigh the money any day...
2 people like this
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I agree! You and everyone else here that I have been lucky enough to make a connection with mean way more to me than any money I can make here. I would do it for free! This has been a great place to let off some steam, give and take some laughs, get and give advice and just have fun while passing some time! For those who don't see that behind the $ signs, they are missing out!
1 person likes this
@34momma (13895)
• United States
15 Apr 08
i think this is vaulable to anyone on mylot. everyone should know how this site works so they may take full advantage of making money and friends here. people who abuse the system can only do so for so long and then they will be exposed.
@cortjo73 (6500)
• United States
15 Apr 08
Thank you! There is no reason why, while people are here, they can't pay a little bit of attention to detail and spend a little extra time nurturing their relationships here. But, if they keep it up, they'll either get bored when they don't get anymore responses because people are on to them, or they will remedy their method and become a better myLotian!
1 person likes this