Do you read your hubby's or other people's mail?

@vera5d (4006)
United States
April 15, 2008 2:43pm CST
My hubby got a certified letter in the mail today. I a, dying to open it because it will tell us if got a new job or if he will have to keep looking. I tried to call him to see if he wants me to open it but he is working so doesn't usually answer the phone. My hubby would not be mad if I opened it.I know he will make me open it as soon as he gets my message and calls...but I just don't want to find out before him...so I wait and write about it on mylot, lol. My mother in law is the opposite of me. She opens mail that is not to her all the time. My hubby has stuff that goes to her house sometimes from things that still have his old address on it and when we get it she opened it. She does not respect anyone's privacy ever. So how about you? Do you read your hubby's mail? What about your kids or anyone else's mail for that matter? Or do you have someone reading your mail?
5 people like this
25 responses
@crisrisl (13)
• United States
16 Apr 08
Generally, I don't open my significant other's mail. If there is something important that has come, like a letter from a job she applied for or something that seems important, I will call to ask whether she wants me to open it. I won't open it without authorization because...it isn't addressed to me. Usually, she wants me to open it. Plus, say it is a job offer, wouldn't you rather share that excitement together rather than knowing and having to keep it contained until they got home or answered their phone? The only other situation where I open mail that isn't mine is if I am going through the mail bin trying to get rid of the building up junk. Then, if something seems important from a credit card or somewhere else and still is unopened, I will open it to make sure. I found her a $25 gift card this way!
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
17 Apr 08
sounds like you feel 100% exactly like me!! Sadly our letter was a rejection letter :( :( (I kinda had a feeling it would be - his interview consisted of "so why do you want to work here? are you married? have any kids? okay we'll let you know." it was a panel of 6 people, the one guy was on his cell phone the whole time. i know they aren't allowed to ask if you have kids...but i can't understand how they hired/interviwed anybody this way. hubby said every guy had a 3 minute interview!
• United States
17 Apr 08
Too bad it was a rejection :( That interview doesn't seem to have anything to do with whether or not he is qualified for the job, unless you have to have a wife and kids for the job... Interviews like that are always kind of unnerving anyway, 6 people there asking you questions. Perhaps they already knew who they wanted to hire beforehand, so got too many people's hopes up for a measly 3 minute interview.
@rhane7315 (5672)
• Philippines
18 Apr 08
nope i don't. i have a full trust in my partner so i don't read his emails.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Apr 08
that's how i am too
@Mistie (69)
• United States
17 Apr 08
Hubby and I open each other's mail all the time. We don't have anything to hide and since he is in the military...sometimes he isn't around to open his own mail. A lot more efficient for me to do it and read it to him over the phone if necessary. And yeah, I open stuff addressed to the kids. I have an 8 year old and a just turned 5 year old. I have reasons for opening theirs (especially if it is from certain people) that I'd rather not try to explain at the moment.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Apr 08
it makes sense for kids under 18...but when you are 33 it's a bit instrusive, lol.
@ladym33 (11007)
• United States
16 Apr 08
It used to offend my husband if I opened mail addressed directly to him. Now he doesn't care. I would not be able to wait to open it. Waiting would probably be the right thing to do, but I am afraid my curiosity would get the best of me.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
17 Apr 08
i usually just call him & see what he wants me to do if something happens. when i talked to him to tell him it was there already he said not to, it's probably just a rejection letter...when he came home & read it he was right so i'm glad i didn't open it!
16 Apr 08
Hehe, I hope you have some good news waiting in the envelope. Well I'm not married but no I don't read my partners mail. He also respects my privacy and doesn't open mine. However I remember when I first moved away from home and my mum opened all of my birthday cards while I was away. I was a bit annoyed as opening them is the most fun part!
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
17 Apr 08
you are right! my mom will forget if i get mail at her house, lol. I have to check her spot she keeps it if i get any! we did not hav any good news thouhg - i am glad i waited though, i didn't want to be the one to tell him he didn't get the job!
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
16 Apr 08
No i dont even we are so called "partners" and im his lover I always respect his mails.. because i dont want to take away from him his privacy specially handling his emails.. I dont like the same too.. i dont want him to check my emails time to time tis like theres not trust in the relationship
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
17 Apr 08
I think trust is very important...but at the same time i think there are boundaries for defining each other's space.
• Philippines
16 Apr 08
I have my sister's complete information on her email but I do not read her email,because most of the time, I am preoccupied with my own thing if I'm online. There are times that she would ask me to check on her email, and that's the time that I log on to her account.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
17 Apr 08
that is very good of you to respect her privacy. i write emails periodically for a guy i work with & I still have my old boss's account info from my last job where she would have me write emails for her - but stil I don't read what they have in there :)
@jesbellaine (4157)
• Philippines
16 Apr 08
Well, with my families/friends, I don't read their emails but with my boyfriend and I, we both permit ourself in reading our e-mails and stuff but often times, we don't read each other's mail unless I ask him to do so. But ofcourse, there will be boundaries like "NO REPLYING" whenever we open or read each other's email. I usually send him a text message or call him if I see that the email needs a reply or if it is really important then he will just tell me if I need to reply or if he will be the one to reply to it.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
17 Apr 08
haha, i forgot about email! i don't check my hubby's email, it is too much spam, lol.
@suehan1 (4355)
• Australia
16 Apr 08
yes i open my daughters mail,well some of it anyway.she is the most hopeless case of never responding to important letters,as she is really busy and ends up getting in trouble as she has forgotten to send in some form or another,so thats the only reason i do read it.but when she turns 18 she is going to have to start dealing with important letters herself.cheers sue
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
17 Apr 08
at that age it seems like it would make sense, though i probably would let her suffer the natural consequences :) she is lucky to have a nice mom like you!
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
16 Apr 08
I do respect my partner and he does not mind actually when I open the mail because he is actually used to me opening it and sorting it all out. I mean I look after certain papers and make sure the bills go out on time so it is like my job to make sure it all happens so there is no love loss there. I don't really have anything to hide and neither does he so it does not bother us either way. We love each other and are very easy going about the whole thing. I think if you have something to hide maybe it would be harder some how. I don't know I think trust is the key in this situation.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
17 Apr 08
yes trust is important. I will open junk mail (which is pretty much all we ever get - i pay all the bills online if i can!) i just don't like finding out stuff before my partner does when he should be the first one to know.
@madlees (1381)
• India
16 Apr 08
Yes Vera, I open my husband's mail and he opens mine if I am not there too. We do not have that problem at all. But we never open children's mail unless they ask us to. My son is working in another city. He has some of his statements coming to our address. We never used to open till he comes home. He opens that afterwards. Once or twice he missed out some important announcements which came by mail. So nowadays he has asked us to open and tell him if there is anything important. My husband opens and calls our son and tells him everything. All the best
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
17 Apr 08
that makes sense if he is far away and has asked you to. I tell my mom to call me asap if she gets mail for me - one of my credit cards recently went to her house and she didn't even tell me anything came - i realized my card had expired & I never got a new one - her address was the one they had one file as the most recent!
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
16 Apr 08
I am not that interested in anyone's business that I can think of at the moment. I know that it is a federal offense in the United States to open and read someone else's mail. Hopefully mother's are exempt from that law, Hehe.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
17 Apr 08
you are so very right about it being a federal offense! haha, must be a few exemptions :)
@whittby (3073)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I generally wait for my husband to tell me to open his mail. He probably wouldn't care if I opened it when it arrived, but I wait for him anyway. I end up handling 99.9% of anything that comes in the mail for him except for the birthday cards etc. I just think it's polite. I don't open my kid's mail. They think it's really special when they get mail, so I wouldn't want to spoil it for them. The only time I would open up mail for my kids would be if something questionable came in the mail for them. then I'd open it.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I end up handling most of the mail also. the only thing of my hubbys i open are obvious junk mail & I just make sure it is really junk mail. the rest i put in a box on his dresser to deal with...i don't like reading his mail before he does...i wouldn't want someone reading mine before i read it either! i agree with the questionable stuff for kids.
@blackbriar (9080)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I used to open my hubby's mail but that was back when I was paying all our bills. Now I refuse to open them even when he tells me to cause they are bills he's not paying on. I pay my bills, he pays his. Less stress on me then. I only open my daughter's mail if it comes from the bank. Otherwise, I let her open it.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
16 Apr 08
it is always good to have a system. my hubby pays the bills, i'm in charge of making sure it gets to them on time :)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I don't read other people's mail, simply because I wouldn't want mine to be read by them. It has the intended person's name on for a reason and not yours.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
16 Apr 08
That's exactly what I think!
@queenofarms (1665)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I do open my husbands mail. As for my childrens only if they ask me to. My husband does open mine also. I don't know of anyone opening my mail besides me and my husband. I know where you're coming from though. It may be something to share together. Good luck to you and your husband.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
16 Apr 08
sadly it was not a good letter :( but i know all things happen for a reason so not too upset. i will open my hubby's junk mail, but some things i don't think it is my job to do.
• United States
15 Apr 08
I open mail that comes to my hubby, but I imagine if it bothered him I wouldn't. Occasionally my step son receives mail here - I don't open it, but hubby does. Same with my hubby - if he gets the mail, he opens it, even if its addressed to me. I can't imagine opening something if I knew it would bother the person.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
16 Apr 08
maybe she doesn't know? it just seems like common sense to me...i will open my hubby's junk mail to confirm it is junk - anything else i make him deal with it.
@smlaw88 (39)
• United States
15 Apr 08
My mother reads my mail! Drives me insane. And only for the fact that i can respect her and not open hers and read it but yet she cant do that same for me. And maybe i could understand if i was... under..16-18 yrs of age!!
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
16 Apr 08
i would understand if i was a kid, too - but even then my parents never opened it!
• India
27 Jun 08
reading other people's stuff is fun, i too like to read other people's stuff and i really enjoy doing it without their notice ... i know it's a bad habit but can't help it!
• United States
27 Jun 08
I tend to leave it alone if it doesn't have my name listed. Best of luck, let us know what happens.